MEN ARE SATAN'S SPAWN (EXCEPT MY DAD)

I phoned Alan and screamed down the phone
(as you do with shifty,worthless boyfriends).
"I really thought you were different you pig!"
"You've see Ruth I take it." He sighed in a resigned
way:"I guess she's put paid to our relationship then."
"Well-yeah! Why did you think that you could have both
of us?" I shook my head in disbelief.
"There is only one woman I want."
"That's patently obvious! Ruth's escatic." I snapped.
"Ruth is a liar, I can't say any more until your
ready to hear it."
"How very cryptic! Stick the Vespa up your arse Al,
not interested in anything you can give me." That
really hurt by the way, I loved that bike!
"You are always hurting yourself Becka, don't throw
away the best thing you ever had." He pleaded.
"I admit the Vespa is perfect."
"I didn't mean the damn bike! I meant us."
"I'd hardly call us perfect, an ex wife lurking
about, hardly a catch are you?" I was obviously
styling it out, but he was near as damn it, perfect
(for me). Shit.
"Just stay in touch with me ok? Maybe everything
will work out. I'm seeing Ruth tonight, to try
to cool her down, I've never met a woman who
scared me more then her."
"Ruth?" She is tiny, pretty, non-scary." She did
say that you were coming around. She said that you
are now her boyfriend, so good luck!"
"Don't be childish, she is nothing to me, not even
a friend now. You can't see it can you? For one
moment you cannot see that I may be the victim here.
Well, take care." He hung up. Hmm. Whatever I was
on the brink of a new career and if I was lucky
Mickey Straw would catch the stalker and I could go
home. Balamory is starting to get to me, especially
Josie Jump. Much too busy.
Becka