Tuesday, October 31, 2006


Happy all Hallows Eve-
I'm sucking something with a big purpe head...........
it's a lolly you perves!

I give up really I do!

Mad Becka and Loopy Raine XXXXXXX

Saturday, October 21, 2006


Could I live without Ruth? Small destructive person, human
dynamite, jelly doughnut.
She was so bad for me, she reminded me of a Venus Fly-Trap,
exotic, dangerous, intoxicating and ultimately very bad for
your health. Not to mention your sanity.
I stood by the chocolate machine in the hospital foyer and made
the life defining choice of having a Snickers or a Lion Bar.
Had to be Snickers, still better then Reese's whatnots!
I started to cry, I could not blame it on the chocolate.
I felt so tired, older, grottier and certainly more confused.
I wanted to phone Mal but I just couldn't face him.
A hand touched my arm, looking up I saw a big bald head and
a square jaw.
Mickey Straw!
I pulled back like he had leprosy.
"I hate you!" I hissed.
"That's disappointing." He said in a voice so scathing it should
carry a health warning.
"You! Don't you start with me! I mean it Mick, my life is so
low, I just can't take anymore of this shit!"
"I've come to talk to Ruth, not you, ok? Is that alright
He made Ray Winstone look right cuddly.
I bit my chocolate and a little caramel slipped over my lip
like a veil (non political, just descriptive!) Mickey's eyes
dropped and I could almost feel his heart beating faster.
"These trousers were not made for stiffies." He grumbled
and walked towards Ruth's room.
I had to stop him, Ruth, a Copper, an erection and a bed
was far too scary to think about.
And it wasn't even Halloween yet.
"Stop right there!" I said in a voice worthy of Helen Mirren.
He didn't stop.
I threw my chocolate at him.
It stuck to his shirt.
No chocolate.
Bloody waste too.
Whoops, Mickey looked at me in the way a bull does in the
ring with Bugs Bunny.
I think a cheesy smile might just work but................

Becka M xxxx

Sunday, October 08, 2006


One shaved pussy later and I was sitting next to Ruth's
hospital bed squirming. Fucking shaving, I could practically
feel the ingrowing. Bastard.
Ruth lay like a small battered china doll, her rough bottom
lip at last still from her chewing. I wondered whether I should
put some salve or Vaseline on it. I decided against it. It was too
She opened a bleary eye.
"Sit still can't you?" She said in a quiet, breathy little voice.
"Um one shaved snatch later and that's the last thing I can
do. I'll try." I said.
"Shaved?" She managed a small smile."My favourite."
"Big mistake though, looks like a Christmas turkey
with pox." I mumbled and held her thin hand.
"Well we all make mistakes, even I do sometimes." She
"No really?" Humouring her was the key.
"Yeah, kidnapping is not what it's cracked up to be."
"What do you mean?"
"No kids and no crack." Ruth said, I guess the morphine
was doing it's bit.
"Does Justine count as a kidnapee? She's hardly sentient."
I laughed, Justine always made me so happy in a
superior sort of way.
"Sentient? Not in the bedroom anyway, I've had better
head off hairdressing dummies." Snorted Ruth and winced
in pain.
"Only my pride and losing you." A pirate grin.
I pulled a face:"Let's not talk about that now, let's talk
about Nurses, the black haired one with the tits is
rather pretty."
"I liked the young African one with the scar."
Said Ruth.
"Bastards!" Said Ruth.
"Even the women?"
"Especially the women." assured Ruth.
"Then that leaves?"
"The Health Care Assistants! I like it dirty." Ruth
smiled and giggled:"MRSA get's me hot."
I laughed aloud:"You bloody twit!"
"Yeah but you love me." This was not a question,
I turned away and brushed away a small tear.
Bothersome thing.
Angela stood in the doorway with Justine, talk of
the devil! I wished I had some salt to throw.
Preferably still in a mill.
"What are you doing here?" I snapped.
Angela shrugged:"You ask me-I didn't want to
come but Justine was adamant."
"Don't you ever." Said Ruth.
"Tell them that your handsome." I finished.
"You shut the fuck up!" This was Justine to me,
I stood up to face her.
"Remind me never to save you again." I said.
"Ditto."Snarled Justine, I could see the whites
of her eyes, but that did not count.
Ruth pissed herself laughing in bed, no really we had
to buzz someone to sort her out.
"I didn't think you would be incontinent until you
were a bit older." I said.
Angela and Justine looked at me shocked that I
could put words to such a thing.
"How old?" Said Ruth.
" 'Bout 40, when the alcohol had done it's bit."
"Haven't shit myself yet." Said Ruth proudly.
"That's something to look forwards to."
"Yeah nice to have goals!" She said approvingly.
"I don't understand!" Wailed Justine.
"I don't think we are meant to honey." Angela said.
Ruth looked at Justine:"Come here." She said.
Justine crouched over her like a Woodcut of
Death. All that Donna Karan.
"Closer." Said Ruth.
Justine sat on the bed:"Is this close enough?"
"Yeah!" Ruth's eyes looked like Jake's out of
the Scissors. Shinybright.
Nothing happened.
"Oh shit I was gonna headbutt you but I
can't lift my head! Becka can you help?"
"I'd like to but it sort of ruins the spontaneity
doesn't it?"
"Somewhat!" Said Ruth.
"Well really!" Shrieked Justine:"I've come all the way to
see you, even after everything, you are such a nasty
little bitch!" She jumped up.
"Cute though." I winked.
"Yeah." Said Angela:"Like a Rapter. Are we
finished Justine? Shall I take you home? Or do you
want more humiliation? She doesn't wan't you and as
from now, neither do I." Angela stood up proudly.
"Bravo! That's a girl!" I clapped.
"I hate all of you!" Scowled Justine and fled the room
bawling. I felt bad. Then I didn't.
"Sorry Ange." I said.
"Why should you be sorry? You the instigator of everything
fucked warped and whack?"
"Hey whack! I like that, very cool." I said approvingly.
"Can't you just stop? Really, act like an adult it's not too
late." Ange pleaded. There was an edge to her that I'd never
seen before.
"Sorry." I said.
"I should think so." Said Angie.
"What I want to know is what time does the bar open?"
Said Ruth. We both ignored her.
"Can you give me a lift home?" I asked Angie. Cheekiness
used to always work with her.
She shook her head:"I don't think I want to know
you anymore." She left the room.
"Oooh." Said Ruth.
Oooh indeed. And ouch. Angie was fine.

Becka M