Friday, July 29, 2005


"I don't think so." Said Grady:"This woman with
you. End of story." God I hated it when he talked
I began to sweat (well it was hot) and I hoped my
deodorant would hold out. Bad enough dying but I
did not want my epitaph to read:Brave little bugger-
but she stinks.
If I was dead it would be stank I guess.
I smiled at Skinner:"I hate you." I said sweetly:"And
you are a lousy shag!"
Neck tittered briefly, Skinner glowered.
"You wait." He said:"Wait and see what I'll do to you,
you will be begging for a shag!"
"I was begging for a shag when I was with you! That
will tell you how little I was getting!"
"You bitch!" He fumed.
I looked at Angela.
"What are we going to do?" She said.
"I don't know yet, but don't worry, something always
turns up, it always bloody does!"
"Maybe your luck has run out." Said Grady.
Maybe it it had........
They walked us through the crowd, people dancing,
kissing, getting drunk and pulling nipple rings. A
happy lot.
We must have made a grim spectacle, Angela being
restrained by her arms by both Neck and Grady
and me, well Skinner had his arm tightly around
me, we must have looked like and ideal couple.
They pushed us through the bar and behind to the
notorious Club Exit where all your fantasies can
come Pru.
I could hear Angela praying, not I hasten to
add to any Christian God, no she was mumbling
something Jewish sounding, so I guessed she
was into Kabbalah now. Then so was Aleister
Crowley. Pray faster, I urged in my head.
Skinner suddenly shut the door to the hidden
club and dragged me off down the hall into a storage
"This is where you will learn to be my woman."
He said in his lispy, affected voice.
"Shove it up your arse!" I said.
He punched me very hard in the stomach doubling
me over.
"Why fight destiny? You are my Muse, my queen,
but you act like a gutter-mouthed slut! I love
you more then any woman, more then Jeff and he
was sublime, but you throw it in my face! You
must learn humility and I will be your Master."
He began to roughly pull my clothes off, I still
could not fight, my arms felt like lead.
I was soon naked and sticking to the filthy floor,
I could feel little sharp bits scratching my soft skin
and I could swear that Angela was screaming in
the background.
Something about figures.
Didn't make sense.
Skinner flexed his belt and thrashed my legs
twice before I could yelp, then brutally across
my face. Yep, my fucking nose again!
I curled into a ball of pain, was this it then?
This stupidness brought about because of my
big mouth?
"Turn over, this is going to be nice." Cooed Skinner.
Mutely I obeyed, inside my head over and again
think think think!
But nothing, no epithany, no bolt of lightening,
I couldn't rely on lateral thinking.
No this had to be freestyle.
I smiled at Skinner:"Come and have a go if you
think your hard enough dickweed!"

Becka M

Wednesday, July 27, 2005


While everyone stared at me posing like a prat,
Angela was getting the upper hand of Neck-indeed
she was straddling him!
Could not help notice Neck had a big ole grin on his
face and an even bigger erection.
"Get you!" I said and kicked Skinner in his tight trousers!
No reaction.
No change there then.
"You are going to learn discipline if I have to pull your
pants down and fingerfuck you here in front of
everyone." He hissed like a viper.
Put like that......
"Run!" I said and grabbed my lovely Angela and we
flew in the way only a tall gangly girl and a tall
over-weight girl can fly.
Even Grady caught up with us.
"You foolish bitch." He admonished.
"You fat bastard." I said.
"I am an important woman! I can sue!" Warned
"Angie." I whispered:"They don't care hon, really
they don't."
"Oh dear." She said.
Skinner lashed out with his belt, in another life when
I was queen pervy of the perveramas this would have
excited me no end.
But I was not in the mood to be made into a display
"Hey guys." I looked at Angela, she was trembling and her
soft flesh made delicate little rippling motions."Let the
big girl go ok? I'm the one you are pissed with......"
So noble and so young!

Becka M

Sunday, July 24, 2005


'Those guys were fast as lightning and it was a little
bit frightening.' (Which was understatement of the
Right, Angela looks a bit shaken up, I guess her imagination
was working overtime. Us dainty ladies and those big
I grinned at Grady again and like my mouth was on a
compulsion to get me killed I said:"What you going to do
about it?"
Grady's eyes looked like they were going to implode
or something.
"You are a crazy bitch!" He yelps in an amazingly squeaky
"Tell me about it bebe!" I said like Austin Powers.
"Becka please!" Said Angela and gripped my wrist tightly.
I took the small plastic penis from her and threw it in
Skinner's face.
"That's a spare for you love!" I quipped, his eyes behind
their contact shields were hidden. But a bead of sweat
dripped onto his lip. If you forget the dick part he was
one sexy motherfucker for a baldie.
But I couldn't.
Forget the dick part that is.
Neck laughed, Grady and Skinner both eyeballed him.
"Sorry." He said quietly, I winked at him.
"For a criminal Neck you are a pretty cool guy, why
do you hang with such dead beats?"
Neck made a movement towards me and Angela
took this to be an attack, next minute she is wrestling
him down to the floor.
Oh dear.
This was signal for me to go beserk.
I lifted the small table and tipped it over,
covering Skinner and Grady in cream and
strawberries (nows there's a thought!)
"You fucking bitch!" Shouted Grady and threw
a punch, but being that his arms were on
the short side, he missed me.
"Oh I'm so scared!" I said in a sarky voice, I
really was though!
"You are going to die!" Bellowed Grady:"Yow!"
He shouted, Angela was biting his ankle.
Skinner looks at me and takes off his belt
"I'm going to give you the beating of your
life Becka." He said quietly.
This was not going good.
Where was Jackie Chan when you needed
I slowly raised a foot, everyone looked at
me, it was like time stood still.
My arms raised into the warrior pose
stolen from Sister-thing's Yoga book.
I made a deep low sound in my chest which rose
like a bird into a fearsome: "Aaaaaaaahhhhhh!"
Everyone looked at eachother.
"She nuts." Said Neck.
Not wrong there eh?

Becka M

Wednesday, July 20, 2005


"Yea'aah!" Says Missy Elliott in my head:"This is a
one time Missy Elliott exclusive!"
But it wasn't, it was just Angela tapping me lightly with
a plastic penis to get my attention.
"I think that champagne challenge might have been ill
advised, look the pigs are coming over."
I looked and like a scene from Dawn of the Dead, Skinner,
Grady and Neck ambled towards me.
"Brains!" I shouted loudly.
"What are you like?" Said Angela but she laughed.
"What's so funny ladies?" Said Grady, he made ladies
sound like bum fluff or maybe used toilet tissues.
"Funny?" Says Angela: "Maybe the prices of these
cocktails, they are extortionate!"
Grady smiled charmingly at her:"I did not mean you
Miss, you I meant". He nudged me with his foot.
"Cat got your tongue?" Lisped Skinner, his eyes glittering
"Maybe it has, Grady's got yours, it's up his arse you
fuckwit!" I turned away and saw Neck restrain
"I asked you a question, what were you laughing at?"
Grady had that false Jamaican accent that he used to
intimidate lesser mortals.
Like me.
I grinned (the one he hated) and winked ruefully.
"I was just thinking what a fool Alex was to let
you go, I mean a man like you!
What was she thinking to throw it all away for a
super sexy actor rising up on the fast elevator of
success. When she could be hanging here with the
homies watching people who really shouldn't squeeze
into man-made fabrics. Strange huh?"
Angela bit a small paper parasol in half in a desperate
attempt to stop herself laughing.
I looked at Grady.
And froze.
The man was red and sweaty like a rack of bacon,
something was cooking.
Pressure cooking.
Gonna blow.

Becka M

Thursday, July 14, 2005


What would Alan think about me sitting in the Ex Thrumz
having a drink with my old boss-old lover, Angela?
Well probably not a lot being that I practically blew his
brains out with the kind of blow job the wank mags describe
as deep throat. Please! He is propped up by the telly like
an old chap watching an episode of Sorry! That is sad,
so was Sorry, very clever, very cringeworthy. You did not
know whether to laugh or cry. Poor little Timothy, but after
awhile you wanted to slap him. Dated now though, but so am I!
Angela has lost some weight, still a big lady but I can clearly
see cheek bones and the barest hint of a jaw. Hell
fat, whatever, she always looked the business. A super-size
Madonna. A real stunner.
She was very unhappy I must say, with her blonde hair
hanging down like tired curtains and her eyes welling up.
Always a sign that-tears.
I looked around, still the same sadsacks dressed in
fetish, with the few sexy people thrown in, (that
would be me) and no sign of Skinner as yet.
Thrumz had changed it's name to Passage, as in back-
passage, rite of passage. Cool huh? Still painted
black and purple and red. I remembered the nasty
Club Exit and shuddered.
Try saying purple in a scouse accent, it's dead
easy. So is saying dead easy.
I could see Grady fuming away in the corner
like a ginger potato. I gave him my best wink
and leer. He actually twitched.
"I want to know how Ruth and Justine got
together in the first place!" I sipped a strawberry
daquiri, very cold and delicious (all the more so
because I wasn't paying).
"I think they met here, Justine always comes back
you know, I think it affected her deeply, the sex
and role plays, nearly dying." Angela sipped a
White Russian and thoughtfully fingered the small
plastic dick that decorated her drink.
Mine had tits on a string hanging out the side, nice touch,
I would stick them up Al's bum later or die trying!
"We all come back here, like sheep really, stupid, they
don't play good music, everyone's been double dipped
in Lake Ugly-Mere and the drinks are pricey!"
"I forgot that about you." Said Angela and smiled
"That being?"
"You can nag for England but you are funny!" She
stroked my face. Little alarm bells activated.
"No lezzie stuff, I'm a straight one-man girl now,
so no touching!"
Angela looked bemused and turned away.
"I only found out by chance that they are together,
it's an affair you see, Justine is too used to the good
life to run away with Ruth."
"That's Justine all over, eating pussy and cake too!"
I looked across the room, Grady was seething and
Neck stood next to him like an impenetrable wall,
his arms were crossed on his chest. Master Skinner
stood next to them, looking equally pissed. I
hadn't seen him slink in.
"Is that your fan club?" Said Angela and turned to
face them.
"More like a lynch mob! If Skinner comes over I'm
going to scream." I warned.
"Justine can be sweet you know." Said Angela and her
eyes looked all silly and bashful.
I made a scoffing noise:"You think? That's actually
making me feel quite queasy." I pulled out my
tongue at Grady (it's what I eat and what I do)
who seethed some more.
"She can! She's very soft and loving and always
smells good too."
"That would be the fetid decay." I sipped my
drink and wished Skinner would fall flat on his
leathered arse.
"You are a meanie! Look all I want you to do
is see if you can find out how serious this all is.
I want Justine back but I won't be played for
a fool. She has to choose."
"One small part you seem to have overlooked is that
Ruthie is a crazy cow and she's not going to speak
to me is she?" I thought bitterly about my wasted
Vespa. Damn that was a good bike.
"I don't know, you have a way of twisting us all
around your little finger."
"Like finger puppets?" I imagined a small bald
leather clad puppet, I smirked.
"Yes with your fingers up our arses! You will
at least try?"
"Hell yes, if you by me another drink and send
a bottle of bubbles to the 'Becka Appreciation
Society' over there.
"They won't thank you for it." Warned Angela.
"Oh I know that." I lit a menthol and let the good
times roll.

Becka M

Saturday, July 09, 2005


Inspite of the bombing, the worry and panic
that ensued, I found it hard it hard to believe it
had really happened. It had a strange, dream-like
quality, a waking dream. We were lucky, nobody
we know died or were injured. There were
lots of might have beens as so many people could
have traveled that day, or would have been there
if they had not had a sickie etc. Close, very close.
Not to mention all the sex me and Alan had had
on public transport lately. He's now making me
do it in parks, Mal's right I have ruined him. From
sweet guy to pervert what have I done?
I feel quite worried about what I'm going to say now,
it's piffy even after all this, but really I must, it's
driving me. I still hate Justine. I really do. Why?
Times like this you stick together, everything else
is inconsequential right? Right in theory, I practice
everyday but I'm still a shallow bitch. So big bad
wrong! Why I'm so very pissed at Justine is she's
been a bad girl.
Very bad indeed.
So bad I could kill her.
Or at least pull her hair.
She's cheating on Angela!
Dead- Girl has a bit on the side.
But what is eating me is who it is.
Oh yeah Dead-Girl and Luno Uno have
got it together bigtime. Bloody Ruth she just
doesn't care does she?
Angela phoned me in tears.
"Not my Ruthie!" I said in astonishment, the two
of them had barely made eye contact.
"Yes your Ruthie! Really Becka, I feel so betrayed!
I thought she loved me, I thought she cared! I feel
so old and useless, it's degrading, no offence but
your friend is a nasty little skank. What could Justine
possibly see in her?"
A tongue like silk and magic fingers?
"I agree, she has nothing on you Angie, you were a
real Power Lesbian couple. I'm sorry really." But I
felt like saying I told you so!
"What I want to know is what you are going to do
about it?" Angela's tone was harsh.
"Me? Well I'm sorry girl, I might have been crap at
my job, I might have slept with your son and ruined
your wedding , but I am in no way to blame for
this pile of shit!"
"Would money change anything?"
Aaah my favourite word.
"Of course! Why didn't you say! What do you want me
to do?" I grinned like a virgin in Ann Summers.
"Get Ruthie off my Pookie!" She snapped:"Get her away
from Justine and I swear you can have your job back,
hell have Justine's job! Just help me please."
How could I refuse? I would meet Angela for drinks
and we would see what happens.
But I felt hurt, how could Ruthie have found someone
to replace me already and especially someone I
despised so.
That was it-she was doing it out of spite.
The cows!

Becka M

Thursday, July 07, 2005


To all in London-my heart and love
goes out to you . Spent most of the morning
frantically phoning folk, all ok but it had been
very close for some of them. I feel sick with anger.
I don't like hating-I'm a lover not a hater!
Can't people just live their lives and get on with
it? Apparently not.

Sunday, July 03, 2005


Hi guys, just going to have a little time away
from blogging. Will be back soon with fresh
and skanky Mad Becka adventures! Everything
is cool, everything is fine, no worries! See you all
soon and behave!

Rainex & Becka M