tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-66197652024-03-08T06:46:34.519-08:00MAD BECKA-THIRTYSOMETHING FUCKWITSTORY OF A THIRTYSOMETHING WORKING CLASS GIRL
BLOODY HELL I'VE SCARED MYSELF INTO COMING BACK!
IT'S THE RETURN OF THE EVER LOVING DEAD DUDE!
SUITABLE FOR OVER 18'S (IF YOU ARE VERY IMMATURE
THAT IS)Rainexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11029299051929782743noreply@blogger.comBlogger310125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6619765.post-432304481955280182010-07-25T13:05:00.000-07:002010-07-25T13:14:43.500-07:00MOPING<br /><br />I spent the next couple of days moping. Alan thinks:<br /><br />1./ I'm past it<br /><br />2./ I have a fat arse (true)<br /><br />3./ I am sad-tricky does he mean sad like teary or sad like<br />pathetic?<br /><br />4./ He does not care because he hasn't text or phoned me<br /><br />5./ There is no 5 just repetition of 1 to 4<br /><br /><br />Also Ruth hasn't contacted me this is because:<br /><br />1./ She hates me<br /><br />2./ Simon says no<br /><br />3./ I called her a pussy<br /><br />4./ Simon's killed her<br /><br />5./ No 5 still worrying about 4<br /><br />I spent this time productively. Jogging horrible,<br /><br />eating salad yuk, doing crunches ouch.<br /><br />Wondering if I should take up smoking, brandies driving my vespa<br />again.<br /><br />But the overwhelming need is to be shagged. Laid down hard<br />no funny stuff just hip action and plenty of it.<br /><br />I wanna walk bowlegged like a teenager!<br /><br />I want Alan to text me and I will not phone him or text<br />as I have some pride you know.<br /><br /><br />Best Becka xxxxRainexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11029299051929782743noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6619765.post-81978519584531600582010-07-20T11:06:00.000-07:002010-07-21T13:14:53.329-07:00Goo Goo Alan<br /><br />"You are a sight for sore eyes!" I beamed at<br />Alan in the near empty pub we had found near the<br />tube station.<br />I was drinking vodka lemonade and lime and<br />drinking in Alan too. I was playing with my drink<br />really I hardly touch alcohol and I don't want to ride<br />that horse anymore.<br /><br />"I have missed you, just never seemed right<br />contacting you after all this time. Still fate<br />intervened." He smiled and his greying black hair<br />fell into his face like a cool winters night.<br />Gotta love that man.<br /><br />"Me too, all the shit we went through and the good<br />times too, kinda blocked me from casual contact<br />with you, know what I mean?" I said ruefully.<br /><br />I had filled him in about Ruth, never his favourite<br />person but it made him laugh.<br /><br />"I know she's dear to you but what an impossible woman!<br />Simon suits her to the ground." He smirked.<br /><br />"No the way it's going, it's like she is disappearing.<br />Damn, I've lost too many people, you included! I'm<br />not going to lose her! It's like he's taken her fight<br />away. She's a er, pussy, for lack of a better word!"<br /><br />"People change you have to get used to it Becks." He<br />smiled.<br /><br />"Do you think I've changed?" As soon as I said that<br />I could have cut my tongue out and thrown it across<br />the room! Eejit me!<br /><br /><br />"Um you've, ah. filled out a bit, you seem sadder<br />and a bit calmer. But essentially the same, it's not<br />been that long! Same old Becks eh?" He stroked my face.<br /><br />"Sad old fat me yeah I get the picture! No worries I'm<br />jogging everyday eventually I will regain myself." I<br />wished he had said I was beautiful, sexy, but sad, fat?<br />A girl's bubble bursteth and then:<br /><br />"You are not a girl anymore Becka, you are a mature woman,<br />changes are natural, look at my hair." He shook his icy<br />hair at me.<br /><br />"Big sodding deal, I may be 100 years old but I will<br />always be a girl, to me! Yes you have great hair, so <br />do I but if I let my hair show it's greys then I'm <br />into old bagsville while you look distinguished. Not fair <br />and cruel." I sipped my drink, hateful really, bitter nasty,<br />not my old brandy and coke treat.<br /><br />"You havent lost any of your looks Becka, please don't<br />get the wrong idea." The hand on my face again.<br /><br />Hey bud unless you are prepared to put that mutha hand<br />between my legs take the fucker off me! I didnt say it though.<br /><br />"I'm going to have to dash soon, will we stay in contact?"<br />He said it lightly as if it was no big deal.<br /><br />"I'd like that." I admitted, trying not to sound too keen.<br /><br />He smiled and he was a boy, happy go lucky. He grabbed my<br />mobile off the table and tapped in his number and took mine.<br />He remembered I was useless at all things textical. However<br />years had gone by. I was as savvy as the next middle years<br />bitch.<br /><br />"OK I will text you. Soon. Let me know anything that happens<br />with looney Ruth and the fantastic Simon." He kissed me<br />softly on the lips, winked and then swooshed out all dark<br />and glamour. Fuck it.<br /><br />Best Becka XXXXX<br /><br />p.s THanks Lindy for you everloving support xxxxxRainexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11029299051929782743noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6619765.post-65572942565723091242010-07-04T11:36:00.000-07:002010-07-04T12:07:13.713-07:00MAJESTIC<br /><br /><br />When I finally had it out with Ruth it was like a<br />kettle boiling over eeeeeeeeeeee!<br /><br />"You don't like Simon do you?" Accused Ruth with her eyes<br />hot and flashing like Chucky.<br /><br />" Yeah sure I like him just fine, this man who stole<br />my best friend and turned her into Stepford Wife without<br />the dress sense. This man that thinks every second that I<br />am going to jump his wife's bones and thinks that I am a<br />bad influence when in fact little Ruthie is the biggest<br />ho of them all, she put the Ho in Hobnobs and the knobs too.<br />Yes thrilled, absolutely delighted, ticketyboo oh joyous<br />union." I actually snarled, cool huh?<br /><br />Ruth chewed her babyish lips.<br /><br />"Is this because you could not be a bridesmaid?" She<br />asked amazingly.<br /><br />"Well that was an issue, amongst a cast of thousand<br />others. Just what the hell are you doing with him?<br />Did this dude actually fuck your brains out? Cos you<br />are acting pretty well lobotomised from where I am<br />standing."<br /><br />"You are so crude. You just don't want me to be happy<br />do you? Maybe you are jealous that I have a man that<br />actually wanted to marry me and you, look you have nothing!<br />Even your hot figure is going to pot." She glared at me <br />and I glared right back at her, we were a second from rolling<br />around on the floor with each other's hair in our hands.<br /><br />"That will be it Ruth, I am a ugly fat arsed hag without a<br />man or shag and you are a fantastic worthy surrendered wife.<br />Whats not to covet?" I was leaving, the adrenalin was making<br />my hands sweat and I ached to put them around Ruth's throat.<br />How could she turn on me like this? When I had never ever<br />turned on her, not really not even when she was blackmailing Alan<br />and such. (Previous one hundred year ago entry)<br /><br />I felt like leaving because I was gonna cry and I don't like<br />that very much.<br /><br />I also began to think maybe I was a little jealous, but Simon<br />was a monster and I didn't want a husband like that, or come to<br />think of it a loco wife like Ruthie.<br /><br />"I'm sorry Becks,maybe you don't understand it, but please<br />I am so happy it hurts, let this ride out and I am sure Simon<br />will forgive you in time." She put her hand on my arm and squeezed.<br /><br /><br />EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE kettle and boiling point reached.<br /><br />"FORGIVE ME? FUCK SAKE RUTH! Whatever have I done that needs forgiveness<br />for from Simon? Everything we did was years ago, BEFORE Simon, he has no<br />right at all to be jealous or forgive me!" I was aghast, she had<br />fucking lost her mind to talk to me like that without a warning!<br /><br />"Becka I love you, maybe if you came to our church to show willing?"<br />Ruth pleaded.<br /><br />"Oh this is sooo good. Church! What next? C'mon just don the<br />sack cloth and ashes, they will go nice with your ugly clothes and<br />sad hair. Take the stick out of your arse whilst we're at it eh?"<br /><br />Less then a minute later I was on the street. Fuck, what a mess. This<br />one not of my causing.<br /><br />I headed straight down the tube station at Oxford circus, swiped my<br />oyster card and sat muttering to myself for the next 15 mins to I<br />changed to the Northern line. <br /><br />There was a delay so I bought some chocolate to help with my fat arse<br />it was a Yorkie and I ate it 3 squares just trying to get the sugar and<br />fat into my heart broken bod. I sat there panting with my head in my hands,<br />next I lurched for the bin as chocolate and morning croissant did an encore.<br /><br />"Disgusting!" Said a woman with a Sainsburys bag.<br /><br />"Dibby skant." Said a teenage black kid.<br /><br />" What happened to you?" Said Alan.<br /><br />Alan?!<br /><br />I gave him a big sickly chocolate coated smile.<br /><br /><br />Best Becka xxxxx<br /><br />(C'mon guys I'm loney out here! Say something even if<br />it's fuck off loser, negative comments are<br />better then nada love Rainex)Rainexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11029299051929782743noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6619765.post-26816244863645416512010-06-28T03:20:00.000-07:002010-06-28T03:34:34.003-07:00WEDDING OF THE DAMNED<br /><br /><br />Well we ticked over for sometime, me grudgingly seeing<br />Ruth when Simon deemed fit usually with him there with<br />us smarmily watching in case I suddenly had the urge to<br />pull down her knickers. Or with him in the vicinity, <br />with Ruth texting him constantly to make sure she hadnt <br />vacated to Dykesville pussylove town.<br /><br />Then they married. Would you believe that I was not asked<br />to be bridesmaid? Or best person or best anything! No I<br />was relegated to the wierd table, no top table for me, I sat<br />with the dogy aunts and the far removed (from reality) cousins.<br /><br />Was I happy? You betcha not. I wasnt even allowed to attend the<br />hen night. They had a sedate time in Barcelona and I stayed home<br />gritting my teeth. But I bared with it, this is what friends do<br />when a friend is acting like she lost half her brain cells.<br /><br />To her wedding Ruth wore a dress which made her look like:<br /><br />1./ Little house from the Oxfam Prarie<br /><br />2./ A Hammer House Virgin<br /><br />3./ Fucking ugly<br /><br />I looked terrific navy maxi dress to show off my height and a<br />pair of killer silver wedges. Barbarela meedts Barbra Streisand.<br /><br /><br />The dress also hid my fat arse.<br /><br />Sim Mr Groom Bastard features wore a navy suit that looked<br />like it was Armani and must had cost a trillion times more<br />then Ruth's thrifty shocksvilla dress.<br /><br />She wore no make up and had her hair dyed a lovely shade<br />of mouse brown.<br /><br />And she said Obey! When I heard the words I said No! Inwardly.<br /><br />But it was done, a surrendered wife inthe flesh. I always thought<br />it was a kinkt thing with spanking and Masters. This was definately<br />less sexy and more sinister. <br /><br />And where the fuck was Alex?<br /><br />Best Becka XXXXX<br /><br /><br />(Thanks Butterfly and Lindy. Yeah had a hard time, then got better<br />then had no enthusiasm. Then went to my lowest. Then had no imagination<br />and then finally I crawled back to Becka street. Love you all!)Rainexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11029299051929782743noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6619765.post-77730959242655014452010-06-07T10:14:00.000-07:002010-06-07T10:31:18.799-07:00REMIND ME WHAT?<br /><br />"What did you tell him?" I fumed after I had Ruth<br />to myself whilst laughing boy went to powder something.<br /><br />"Everything, honest is the best policy in relationships." <br />Stated Ruth.<br /><br />"Somethings are better left unsaid or at least to the<br />imagination! Jeez Ruth he thinks I Queen Dyke from<br />Lickety Split street for fuck sake!" I was fuming! Really<br />what a dozy bitch!<br /><br />"Yeah, uh about that, I kinda changed it around a little,<br />I said that you were the instigator." She smiled cheesily<br />like a child overdosing on Babybels.<br /><br />"Fuck you Ruth! So much for honesty! He gave me some Rules<br />to abide by if I want to remain your friend. The cheek of it!<br />I've known you like, forever and he's laying down the rules like<br />some tinpot dictator." I swigged my drink and glared.<br /><br />"What did he say?" She asked.<br /><br />" He said:<br /><br />RULE ONE<br /><br />No contact without consulting him. (I will die)<br /><br />RULE TWO<br /><br />We cannot be alone together (just in case I cannot<br />control myself around you!)<br /><br />RULE THREE<br /><br />Any inappropriate behaviour will lead to loss of<br />visiting privilege's (Like you are our child in a fucked<br />out custody battle)<br /><br />RULE FOUR<br /><br />No physical contact at all (which includes hugs kisses<br />the usual (so a shags out of the question)<br /><br />"You don't do that anymore anyways." Said Ruth pointedly.<br /><br />"That's besides the point! Let me finish.<br /><br />RULE FIVE<br /><br />Anything that breaches rules 1-4 could result in total<br />alienation.<br /><br />"What does that mean?" Asked Ruth.<br /><br />"That baby means we are royally screwed." How very dare he!<br /><br />"Oh." Ruth smiled:"I think he's sweet." She smiled that knowing<br />look of the doomed.<br /><br />"Sweet? S-smarmy W-wanker E-eejit E-ego T-twat! No?"<br /><br />Best BeckaRainexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11029299051929782743noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6619765.post-9548183669415551092010-06-06T07:23:00.000-07:002010-06-06T07:58:32.079-07:00SIMON SAYS<br /><br />Who gives a flying shit what he says? Bastard.<br />He hates me so much I can hear his teeth grinding<br />everytime he comes within a 1 mile radius!<br />The worst thing was I really wanted to give the guy <br />a chance you know?<br /><br />When Ruth started dating him a couple of years back,<br />well I was sceptical, she is really such a big lezza<br />I thought it was just a whim. But more power to her <br />she stuck with it and really made the relationship <br />work. Albeit without ever introducing the cow son to <br />me. Then she says she's getting married please meet <br />this hunka love and approve him baby.<br /><br />I was over from my Ruth thing anyway and I was really<br />happy for her, no really I was! I agreed to meet Mr<br />fucking perfection in this really dire throwback to<br />the 80's City pub. I was dressed in a really nice<br />Hannibal T shirt with black drainies and monkees but<br />I had paid special attention to my hair and make up.<br />I looked good in a roadie kind of way. I was early<br />so I had a large G & T and waited expectantly. I was<br />not nervous this was not my date this was a good thing!<br /><br />Enter the dragon<br /><br />Oh my gosh the worst thing was seeing Ruth dressed like<br />someone playing maiden aunt. Little skirt, little sweater<br />sensible shoes. Make up non existent.<br /><br />I took a big gulp from my drink and smiled like someone<br />who had just bitten into a crunchy caterpillar on their<br />rocket salad.<br /><br />Then I saw the lumbering ox she had attached to her hand,<br />I thought he was one of those monkies on a Radley bag<br />but no , he was a 6 foot neanderthal. Huge hulking body,<br />straight black hair cut for fuck sake like Vernon Kay<br />used to have. Blue eyes hidden by square rimmed specs, a<br />smile that would make a shark wince, white sharp and a <br />helluva lot of teeth. He was a one man advert for whitening.<br />However there was not an iota of warmth in his smile.<br /><br />"I'm really pleased to meet you Becka, I've heard so<br />much about you." He said pleasantly enough and held my<br />hand a little too tightly.<br /><br />Sometimes when someone does that you know that they fancy<br />you, but he almost hurt me, the pressure was there and<br />it felt like hate.<br /><br />"Likewise Simon." I smiled back and freed my hand, I wanted<br />to wipe it on my jeans but that would have been rude.<br /><br />"Honey can you go to the bar please?" Simon said to Ruth.<br /><br />"Of course I can, red wine? Becka?" Ruth's voice sounded<br />dead posh.<br /><br />I frowned at her. "G & T babes."<br /><br />She left to tussle with the packed bar.<br /><br />I turned my attention to Simon. " Ruthie is very pleased and<br />happy with you, I havent seen her so happy in years." I<br />said honestly.<br /><br />Simon looked at me for a second and said: "I intend to keep<br />Ruth that way with or without your co operation." The voice<br />had such an open hostility that I hadn't heard in years. It<br />took me aback that's for sure.<br /><br />"Ah not sure I understand where you are coming from Simon."<br />I admitted.<br /><br />He leaned forwards just as Ruth was travelling back with the<br />drinks tray and hissed :"Ruth has told me everything about you<br />and if you want to remain a friend and included in her life<br />you are going to have to play by the rules."<br /><br />I recoiled:"What the fuck are you talking about?"<br /><br />"You are a bad influence and in my view a bad person. Ruth<br />will be my wife, I don't want anything messing that up. Look<br />at you , bloody pathetic woman. Oh darling you picked<br />a Merlot how clever of you!" Ruth had returned , he pulled her<br />close and they both smiled at me like couples do, Ruth with eyes<br />as hopeful orphan Annie Simon with a smile that made my stomach lurch.<br /><br />The next time I saw him he told me the rules. Next time<br />I am here I will tell you them too.<br /><br />Best BeckaRainexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11029299051929782743noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6619765.post-34256581010819581022010-05-31T04:15:00.000-07:002010-05-31T04:25:59.524-07:00SATC<br /><br /><br />Well I went to see it last night. It was not an<br />enlightening work of art but it was good light <br />entertainment. So there haters!<br /><br />It's never going to be as good as the series for<br />sure. They are all too rich and pampered now. But<br />I still love them. <br /> <br />I am just wearing out the mother of all hangovers.<br />On saturday I went out for a meal with my ahem,friend<br />Ruth which turned into yet another boozy escapade. I.e<br />12 hr pub crawl. When I got home I was sick for about<br />six hours (not constantly, periodically)and the next <br />day felt like someone had tried to cleave my head open.<br />It was that bad, no solids yesterday, just liquids. <br />Which was sad because when I went to the cinema I wanted<br />to have popcorn, ice cream and the usual. I had a Dr Peppers <br />instead. Which I didnt like nor finish.<br /><br />I'll tell you next time about Ruth and her ever loving<br />husband Simon.<br />The worse thing is he thinks I am a bad influence on<br />her! Me! The cheek of it. He told us that we are<br />middle aged women that should know better. I told him<br />to eat me.<br /><br />Best Becka xxxxxxRainexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11029299051929782743noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6619765.post-13387879061977218492010-05-26T12:27:00.000-07:002010-05-26T12:45:02.487-07:00Give Me Strength<br /><br />SATC film is out and I feel strangely deflated.<br />This is because I loved the series and the film<br />was ok, but everyone seems to be out with the<br />knives this time. Whats that all about?<br /><br />1./ Some people think that the story is shit<br />2./ Too many pretty clothes when we are in a<br /> recession.<br />3./ Girls (ok ok) acting out of character<br />4./ Offensive to Islamic culture<br />5./ People are haters<br />6./ There is no six. Boy am I getting bored of no six.<br /><br /><br />I shall reserve judgment to the hype goes down<br />and people start pulling in their necks a bit.<br /><br />ACT 2 Running from my arse<br /><br />Ok this is totally sad but since ahem, I was<br />last here ages back, I have gained a little, I<br />mean , little, weight.<br /><br />So enough with the pizzas and carrying my immense<br />rear around London, I have started to jog like a <br />bastard ! A bastard with a grudge an a hatred of <br />contol pants.<br /><br />If I ever get laid again, I want a bum like a peach<br />not something resembling a bag of strained prunes.<br /><br />Thats my goal lose the arse break the fast.<br /><br />Blimey.<br /><br />BTW I saw Alan in town the other day.<br /><br />He didnt see me (luckily), I ran very fast<br />headlong into a terrified Traffic Warden who<br />thought I was attacking him.<br />Oh dear.<br />Alan looked scrummy, all silver haired foxiness.<br />Lush.<br />I looked like someone running away from her own arse.<br /><br /><br />I have to say sadly I deleted the links to all my favourite<br />(noticed the way I spelt that with a U?)blog sites as it's been<br />so long you have probably all gone now. If you are still out <br />there guys (and you know who you bloody well are) I will re <br />add you to the blog (whats left of it that is).<strong></strong><strong></strong>Rainexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11029299051929782743noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6619765.post-61472221626222500002010-05-20T01:26:00.000-07:002010-05-20T01:41:58.490-07:00I guess you thought I was gone for good, so did I.<br />Change of heart, call it mercy, how could I let<br />My zero at this moment audience down?<br /><br />What has happened in the last hundred years? Ok<br />no Alan havent seen him for two years, Alex lives<br />in Florida and we have lost touch apart from xmas<br />and birthday cards. Ruth is married!!!!! To a man!!<br />Sister-thing is still doing the fuzzy haired thing <br />and a brunette! The rest have drifted away. Mum is<br />still around waiting for her iron lung (only joking!)<br />Talking of which I havent smoked for years?<br /><br />I know! Can you believe it<br /><br />I can't the lure of menthols get stronger everyday!<br />I still see Mal sometimes love him.<br />What else? Oh yeah a biggie, I do not work in retail<br />anymore I retrained, brace yourself, as a Civil Servant!<br /><br />BTW I have been celibate for 3 years just thought you<br />should know in case of any suggestions.<br /><br />Love you long time<br /><br />Becka XXXRainexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11029299051929782743noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6619765.post-25283188885549906882007-11-10T09:03:00.000-08:002007-11-10T09:09:08.682-08:00<strong>ME-<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">ooow</span></strong><br /><strong></strong><br /><strong></strong><br />I am so sorry guys have been a miserable cow kneeling at the gates of<br /><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">citalopram</span>. No we were not washed away with the tidal surge, but on<br />the plus side did get a lot of exercise carrying possessions, objects and<br />general boy-tat upstairs.<br /><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Madbecka</span> will resume shortly.<br />Thanks for caring guys, you mean the world to me.<br /><br /><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Rainex</span>Rainexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11029299051929782743noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6619765.post-47153733575691691132007-08-03T12:05:00.000-07:002007-08-03T12:19:42.355-07:00<strong>A WORD FROM THE WISE</strong><br /><strong></strong><br /><strong></strong><br />Well guys I guess we owe you a mini explanation-I mean we disappear<br />for weeks on end, then write crap!<br />There is a very good reason for this-<br />1./We have been overcome with <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Snape</span> lust because of the new Harry Potter<br />film.<br />2./A new job which includes being chastised by the general public.<br />3./A bit part in Transformers as a wheel.<br />4./A nasty caffeine <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">withdrawal</span>-I got a Starbucks stool stuck up my bum.<br />5./A visiting relative who cries all night, drools and generally screams the<br />house down. You can tell which side of the family he's off of can't you D?<br />6./I dreamt that I was married to George Roper off of George & Mildred and<br />he was a pimp daddy.<br />7./I had a haircut that very nearly made me look like Chrissie <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Hynde</span>-I was<br />not amused.<br />8./I got chatted up by some carrot crunching <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">yoik</span> with space for dental items like<br />teeth. Yep I've got a way with the men folk.<br />9./I give up!<br />10./There is no 10<br /><br />p.s a 1 of these is not true.<br /><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">Haheha</span><br /><br />Right and just to add the <em>piece la resistance</em>I am off on hols for a couple of weeks!!!!<br />Must do better when I return.<br />Lindy, ML, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">Etoile</span>, Butterfly, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">HB</span> love u babies!<br /><br /><br /><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">Rainexxx</span><br /><br />Becka <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">mmm</span>Rainexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11029299051929782743noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6619765.post-38994811458592198812007-06-25T12:21:00.000-07:002007-06-25T12:37:56.747-07:00<strong>I'M NOT BITTER JUST VERY VERY SOUR</strong><br /><strong></strong><br /><strong></strong><br />I think this is it.<br />I mean it.<br /><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Lesbo</span> valley is the way to go.<br />No more men.<br />Men are evil.<br />Men are bad.<br />Bad for me.<br />If I could draw- you would see a big upside down face.<br />Mine!<br /><br />Sol watched me crying like a teenage girl down the phone to my<br />dear sister-thing. He was rather amused.<br />I was bawling.<br />I expect Raine was holding the phone at arms length.<br />(<em>I was!</em>)<br />When I had finished my little rant I made Sol drive me back to<br />his hotel room.<br />Yes I was ever the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">optimist</span>.<br />Sol staunchly <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">ignored</span> me and ordered an evening meal of lobster (yuk!)<br />Oysters (gag!) Mussels (I'm sick now) and something which could only be<br />described as (<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Eeeewww</span>!)<br />And a fruit platter.<br />And a bottle of Cristal for me.<br />I phoned Mal.<br />He made all the right noises and sounded very sympathetic.<br />But he obviously wasn't going to get off his fat arse for me tonight in the<br />rain.<br />Until...........<br />"<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">Oooh</span> you should see him Mal, he looks like the perfect man, really beautiful<br />and his eyes so sparkly light in his face!"<br />"<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">Mmm</span>." Mal.<br />"Did I tell you...........he.............never.............goes.......down?"<br />"On <em>yew?" </em>Mal giggled.<br />"Yes sadly on me!! But himself, he's perpetually hard. He should be called<br />The Rock, oh no someones already called that!!!! He's so magnificent!"<br />I sighed.<br />Mal sighed.<br /><em>"On <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">mai</span> way</em>!" Mal hung up.<br />I grinned.<br />What could I do with a South African guru, a bisexual Scotsman and a platter<br />shellfish?<br />Please don't answer that!!!!!<br /><br /><br />Becka <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">MartinXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX</span>Rainexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11029299051929782743noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6619765.post-30532870156554575542007-05-22T13:55:00.000-07:002007-06-11T14:48:08.831-07:00<strong>ALAN'S NOT A HAPPY GUY</strong><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Which is perhaps the understatement of the year!<br /><br />I smiled at him <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">encouragingly</span> (although it was hard to smile<br /><br />with all those tubes coming out out all over the shop)<br /><br />He was too pale but his eyes burned like hot black coals.<br /><br />"Bitch!" He hissed.<br /><br />The twins sat either side of him, like sexy cats really, so<br /><br />louche, they could lick my cream any day of the week!<br /><br />They smiled at me.<br /><br />Sol came in and grinned rather too widely.<br /><br />"You can send him out for starters!" Shuddered Alan, the boys patted<br /><br />him down.<br /><br />"<span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">You'd</span> better go mate." Said Jude apologetically.<br /><br />"I knew I should have brought some grapes." Grumbled Sol, he<br /><br />winked at me. "I shall wait in the foyer, lobby, whatever. I take it that<br /><br />you will come for me later?"<br /><br /><em>I'd come for you anytime baby. </em>I thought and nodded.<br /><br />Sol's eerie eyes blazed, was this guy hot or what? Sexy, scary,<br /><br />perpetually hard and probably a mind reader!<br /><br />I turned my attention back to Alan.<br /><br />"Baby." I said and kissed him, he edged away from me.<br /><br />"I want you out Becka, out of my life, my head and my bed, now<br /><br />this minute take your shit out of my home and just fuck off! You<br /><br />nearly killed me this time, no more now. Just go."<br /><br />"Alan." Said Quinn and tried to get him to remain calm.<br /><br />"<em>And</em> you little buggers! Don't think that I wasn't aware what you<br /><br />have been up to with Becka! You all treat me like a fool, but I only<br /><br />give you enough rope to hang yourselves with <em>see? </em>You still here?"<br /><br />This was to me.<br /><br />"Well <em>yeah</em>! I'm not going anywhere you will have to have me dragged<br /><br />out before I go anywhere! I love you Alan, I know I'm not the best girlfriend<br /><br />in the world, but I'm funny, cute and damn good in bed." I smiled.<br /><br />2 minutes later Sol watched a burly Security man (or woman) I could not tell<br /><br />as they had breasts, carry me out and dump my arse on the pavement outside the<br /><br />Hospital.<br /><br />An Orderly laughed. "Hey love they are normally carried into here!"<br /><br />"Fuck off!" I said and Sol winced.<br /><br />"Sorry."He said to the Orderly:"She failed the audition for Big Brother<br /><br />and it's gone to her head!"<br /><br />"Shut up!" I said and started to cry, was this the end for me and Alan?<br /><br /><br />Becka M<br /><br />p.s Sorry about delay and all Raine going crazy at new job etcRainexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11029299051929782743noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6619765.post-69330993217683039822007-05-05T12:24:00.000-07:002007-05-05T12:51:22.500-07:00<strong><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">BOOGA</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">booga</span></strong><br /><strong></strong><br /><br />I sat at the back of the cab and looked at Sol, his crisp trousers<br />looking for the world like a veil over a snake.<br />"Becka cut it out." He said coolly and nodded to the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">cabbie</span> who<br />was also intently watching me in his mirror.<br /><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Pervs</span> everywhere!<br />The <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">cabbie</span> grinned and winked at Sol, Sol swore under his breath.<br />In a weird way it was the same disapproving action that Alan might<br />have made.<br />Alan!<br />Here was I scrutinizing a man's crotch whilst my beloved could be<br />dying!<br />Did that make me bad?<br />Was I evil?<br />Am I going to hell?<br />I could not resist another sneaky peek.<br />"Becka you are doing it again." Sol's voice was deeply irritated.<br />"I'm just fascinated, do you have to strap it down? Have you<br />ever got into trouble with it? Have you been arrested for lewd<br />behaviour?" I licked my top lip.<br />I caught the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">cabbie's</span> eye in the mirror.<br />Poor guy he had beads of sweat on his forehead as big as peas.<br />"I won't tell you again, cut it out." Snapped Sol his eyes narrowed<br />and his forehead lined like a loaf of Mother's Pride.<br />Cool.<br />I'd pissed him off.<br />I love it when that happens.<br />"When was the last time you...." I lowered my voice (but still<br />loud enough for my audience to hear) ...<em>came?"</em><br />"If you continue with this line of questioning I won't be responsible<br />for my actions!" Sol was livid!<br /><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">Hee</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">hee</span>!<br />"Uncomfortable?" I said and squeezed his knee:"Quick <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">BJ</span> help yer?"<br />The cab driver swerved slightly.<br />"Hey!" Shouted Sol and hit the Driver's headrest:"Watch the bloody<br />road! And you... (This was to me) behave yourself or I might have to<br />punish your frail little frame!"<br />I grinned <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">Chesire</span> Cat <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">styley</span> a spank in the back of a cab was <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">definitely</span><br />the way to go! I shivered in anticipation.<br />Sol looked at me in disgust.<br />"Tell me you are not getting off on that?" He almost pleaded.<br />"Uh huh." I nodded.<br />"Me too." Said the Driver.<br />"I'm going to need this Hospital at this rate!" Said Sol and turned<br />away to look out of the window.<br />My labia deflated sadly like a punctured balloon.<br />Boo <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">hoo</span>.<br />I looked at the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">cabbie</span>, young, not bad, bit Eastern European 80's<br /><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14">kitch</span> about the collar but even so:"Don't suppose <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_15">you'd</span> be up for<br />a bit of mutual <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_16">masturbation</span> eh mate?"<br />I swear we nearly went into a bus!<br />And no Sol didn't let me.<br />With him or the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_17">cabbie</span>.<br />The <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_18">cabbie</span> didn't get a tip.<br />And we didn't buy the grapes.<br /><br /><br />With love and kisses Becka <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_19">Mmmmmm</span>Rainexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11029299051929782743noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6619765.post-64868286837929476312007-04-21T12:37:00.000-07:002007-04-21T13:02:14.708-07:00<strong>ACHY <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">BREAKY</span> HEART</strong><br /><strong></strong><br /><strong></strong><br />My mobile sounded like Snow Patrol's Chasing Cars, which was odd as<br />it was meant to sound like San <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Saens</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Danse</span> Macabre.<br />"<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Yus</span>?"<br />"Becks it's Jude, listen Alan's in hospital, heart attack, oh Quinn wants a<br />word." The phone was passed, I could imagine their fingers touching<br />lightly, the warmth and slight roughness of their skin.<br />"Becka, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">c'mon</span> girl we need you here." A gasp, then the phone hung up.<br />Shit!<br />I ran around the room swearing and flapping like an albatross with <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">ADHD</span>.<br />Sol caught me, held me to his chest, I could feel his smooth skin and his<br />erection.<br />"Tell me what was said." His voice was commanding. I told him viciously.<br />I glared at him.<br />It was all his fault.<br />"If Alan dies." I warned.<br />"Then he dies. With life comes death. Sometimes." His eerie eyes burned<br />into me with their smoke effect.<br />I imagines Master Skinner would have sold his soul (and his best set of ropes)<br />for eyes such as this. He had to resort to coloured contacts.<br />Sol was the real deal, though just what he was hadn't filtered through yet.<br />He was <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">bona </span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">fide</span> odd.<br />And it was his fault.<br />"Alan's had a heart attack, take me to the hospital." I commanded.<br />"Please?" I asked.<br />"I'll be your best friend." I wheedled.<br />"<em>Please?"</em> I whined.<br />"I'll dress." Said Sol and let his gown fall to the floor.<br />Something else fell to the floor as well.<br />My jaw.<br />He was absolutely perfect.<br />I gawped.<br />His eyebrows raised. "Had a good look? Want me to do a twirl or something?"<br />Sol teased.<br />"Yeah." My tongue felt thick and dry as a kebab shop's salad.<br />And he was still erect.<br />I frowned.<br />"Don't you ever go down?"<br />"No." He said and gingerly pulled on a pair of trousers, Italian and<br />luscious by the cut.<br />"Not even to pee?"<br />"Shut up." He grabbed his car keys. He smiled:"Do you think we<br />should bring grapes?"<br /><br />Becka M <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">XXXXXXXX</span>Rainexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11029299051929782743noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6619765.post-85034009214921280682007-04-19T12:21:00.000-07:002007-04-19T12:52:03.099-07:00<strong>HELLO MY LOVERS</strong><br /><strong></strong><br /><strong></strong><br />Well it's that time again, my birthday 20<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">th</span> (old- damn it) Raine's on<br />28<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">th</span> (older <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">hehh</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">hehh</span>).<br />Do I care that I'm older?<br />Broadly speaking yes.<br />But.<br />Always a but.<br />I'm still in great nick and can go forever (if you know what I mean!)<br />Who gives a shit?!<br /><br />Back to.....................<br />Waking to the smell of fresh coffee and realising I'm laying on a<br />bed laid with crisp <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">Egyptian</span> sheets (I know this as I worked in a<br />departments store-cheap they were not).<br />Sol had been insistent that I return to his hotel with him.<br />It was like a compulsion, a man that I didn't know taking me<br />to his bed, how could I resist?<br />No it didn't happen like that.<br />Alan had a bit of a funny turn and whilst the twins tried to help<br />their old man, Sol took this opportunity to lead me away (astray?)<br />He passed me the cup of <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">Espresso</span>.<br />"Take it black, good for the head." He said with a twinkle in his eye.<br />"I bet you say that to all the girls." I sipped the bitter brew. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">Yeuch</span>,<br />if coffee was like men I liked mine sweet, milky and insipidly warm.<br />I checked him out.<br />He was wearing a dressing robe of a taupe colour, it went well with<br />his dark skin and light eyes. He looked like a shaman, (Guru-off!)<br />Even in my complete mind fucked state I could see an impressive<br />erection tent pegging his gown.<br />He smiled.<br />"It's not for you. Actually it's not for anyone, that's one thing I don't<br />do." He sat next to me on the bed.<br />"What are you one of those <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">Tantra</span> people?"<br />"I won't <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">warrant</span> that with an answer. You fool. Sex is for mortals ."<br />I looked at him:"Are there any other kind?" Sexy but damned crazy.<br />My luck.<br />"Becka just accept it, the world has an army of stiff dicks all for you,<br />but this one is a civilian."<br />"You don't half talk a lot of shit." I said.<br />I glared at his bulge.<br />Could this be a new challenge?<br />"Don't even think about it! Besides everything else, I'm old enough<br />to be your Father, so a bit for respect eh? I've travelled a long way to<br />see you and you are everything and more then Patrick said you would<br />be."<br />"Do you find me attractive?" I tossed my hair.<br />He looked me up and down, he grinned, fab teeth.<br />"No." He says.<br />Then with an irritating twinkle:"Not yet anyway."<br /><br /><br />Becka M <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX</span>Rainexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11029299051929782743noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6619765.post-6527610982127656482007-03-25T13:18:00.000-07:002007-03-25T14:05:49.463-07:00<strong>THE BEST THINGS IN LIFE ARE FREAK</strong><br /><strong></strong><br /><strong></strong><br />Right I'll start then <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">alrighty</span></span>, this is going to be fine this is<br />going to be good.<br />Yeah, that would be a first.<br />I won't fill you in or start from where we left off I'll start from........<br />....................................................................................................................<br />My doorbell ringing like a drag queen screaming for make-up.<br />It didn't stop.<br />Nor was I obliged to open it when it was being rung so rudely.<br />It was rape of a small electric appliance.<br />It was a <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">headfuck</span></span>.<br />It was bloody loud.<br />And I had a hangover.<br />A bitch one.<br />Bloody Smirnoff.<br />Fucker.<br />The Lancet have said it.<br />Alcohol bad.<br />E's are good.<br />Or words to that effect.<br />Oh that bitching bloody muddy doorbell!<br />I dragged myself from where I had fallen unconscious on the<br />sofa.<br />Half my hair was stuck to my face.<br />Half was stuck up with...I smelt it, yuck BBQ sauce.<br />I had on my Twisted Sister T <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">shirt</span>!<br />Dee Snyder was heavy on the blue eyeshadow, but hey it was the<br />1980's.<br />Not now, I mean when I got the shirt.<br />Oh and a pair of faded pink pants.<br />Nice.<br />I opened the door and the guy standing there stood back, it must<br />have been the noxious fumes emanating from me.<br />Vodka and bile.<br /><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Mmmm</span></span><br />Just like Mother used to make.<br />Then it was my turn to stare.<br />He was black, very black and tall, taller then Alan or even that big<br />lox Mal.<br />He was dressed in a suit, very nice very P <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Diddy</span></span>.<br />But older.<br />And stranger.<br />His eyes were the colour of smoke, grey and light and totally alien<br />in his dark face.<br />Beautiful.<br />But eerie.<br />If he had been younger I would have put them down as contacts.<br />No they twinkled with humour and recognition.<br />I looked at my bare legs and saw in horrible detail that they had<br />stubby hairs growing out like spikes on a cactus.<br />"Can I help you?" My voice wrecked from a night smoking my guts<br />out and laughing like a loon had bestowed me with Olive from ON<br />THE BUSES tones.<br />What a little star I was.<br />Wanker.<br />Me not him.<br />"No but I can help you."<br />He said in a voice so posh and cultured it took a Butler and a Maid<br />to get it to my eardrums.<br />Jehovah.<br />"You <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">ain't</span> got to save my soul, I <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">ain't</span> got one." I made to slam the<br />door in his handsome face.<br />His foot had managed to get in the door along with the rest of him.<br />"What the fuck?"<br />He laughed, richly, chocolate coffee and smooth rum.<br />"Patrick said you would be like this!"<br />"Dad?"<br />"Yes he told me to look you up."<br />"Who are you?"<br />"<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">Soloman</span></span>." He grinned and had a thrilling gap between his teeth,<br />nearly as cute as mine.<br />"And you are a friend of Patrick?"<br />"That and more, of course he knew me by the name of Dada So."<br />Fudge. Reality went out of the window, Voodoo, Hoodoo.<br />Crap.<br />My stomach lurched badly and I had to run to the loo.<br /><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">Soloman</span></span> followed me in and held my hair (how embarrassing!)<br />whilst I brought up ..............well you don't want to know really!<br />I was crouched there elegantly making sounds that would make<br />a bull hippo proud, with a strange S African holding my hair and<br />dressed in pants and a grubby tee (me not the African).<br />I chuckled deep in my chest, imagine if Alan was to see me now,<br />or the twins?<br />You know the drill!<br />"I guess there is a relevant explanation for this?" Said Alan, yep<br />he was standing there with the twins.<br />All looking at me like I was a Salem Witch.<br />Burn her!<br /><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10"><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">Solomon</span></span> smiled.<br />"I'll come back tomorrow." He moved so quickly, glided like one<br />of those yoga masters- <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11"><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">yogis</span></span>?<br />"Just who are you?" Demanded Alan.<br /><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12"><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">Solomon</span></span> looked him up and down and didn't even warrant him with<br />an answer. He just kept walking not even looking back at me.<br />"How fucking rude!"<br />The twins were laughing like drains.<br />"He's a friend of Patrick." I gasped <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13"><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">dryly</span></span>.<br />"Oh that explains everything!" Alan was fit to explode.<br />"Oh <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">Rebecca</span></span>, pack a bag, we are going on a journey."<br />"Who is this bastard?" Snarled Alan.<br /><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_15"><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">Solomon</span></span> leaned right into his face. "I am your worse nightmare,<br />the man who will take Becka away forever."<br />He smiled.<br />I placed my face against the cold toilet and felt every pulse in my<br />body.<br />Alan looked bewildered.<br />The next second he joined me on the floor.<br /><br /><br />Becka We are back Martin <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_16"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">xxxxx</span></span>Rainexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11029299051929782743noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6619765.post-8798293407960390982007-03-08T11:54:00.000-08:002007-03-08T11:57:04.216-08:00<strong>BAH BOO BABY</strong><br /><strong></strong><br />Well times are a changing-who knew?<br /><br />Which part of downward spiral do we not understand?<br /><br /><br />Becka MxxxxRainexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11029299051929782743noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6619765.post-1171315023903283202007-02-12T13:07:00.000-08:002007-02-14T02:13:08.250-08:00<strong>HEY GUYS-WHAT HAVE I DONE FOR ME LATELY?</strong><br /><strong>or VALENTINE'S DIS-day</strong><br /><strong></strong><br />Yeah I'm back and I'm still pretty fuckable!<br />The twin escapade was really not worth the sense of impending doom<br />I seem to be left with.<br />Some eegit would call it guilt.<br />I just call it bad timing.<br />Valentines is here and I hope to hell Alan doesn't get all romantic on<br />me as I just might have to kill him.<br />I'm listening to The Gossip, Beth Ditto is my new fav gal. If I was a tru<br />gay gal I might be happier.<br />You tell me?<br />No don't-pleeze!<br />Just looking at that Rimmel ad with Mossy:"It's da London Look!"<br />Mmm be better with a black eye.<br />Or s copy of The Big Issue.<br />Alan Alan Alan, I've been faithful to you for nearly 2 months.<br />My pants are practically begging for teeth to take them off.<br />I'm going now to read some porn and eat some apple strudel.<br />Raine will no doubt be eating her body weight in chocolate by<br />now.<br />Missed all of u and so sorry for delay. Will try to blog at least<br />on a bi-weekly basis from now onwards!<br />Ho-hum.<br /><br />Besty Becka M XXXXXRainexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11029299051929782743noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6619765.post-1167740395666944382007-01-02T04:11:00.000-08:002007-01-02T12:32:37.040-08:00<strong>FESTIVE</strong><br /><strong></strong><br />Dr Hassan pulled on my jaw for all her worth, nope it<br />didn't click back.<br />The twins stood either side of me, trying to stifle their<br />giggles and failing miserably.<br />The good lady Doctor finally managed to put her hands<br />in my mouth and kind of re-hooked my jaw bone.<br />Yowch!<br />"Whatever were you doing?" She asked.<br />I shrugged and was stuffed into one of those surgical collars<br />that made me look like a sinister German geezer.<br />"Whatever you did, please don't do it again!" Said the Doctor.<br />"I can assure you I won't!" I snapped and glared at the twins.<br />Now all I had to do was go home, get back into the house<br />and try to explain to Alan why I was now in a neck brace.<br />I'll blame the peanut butter sandwich.<br />Easy!<br /><strong>HAPPY NEW YEAR GUYS! Let's hope 2007 is a pretty</strong><br /><strong>do-wop year!</strong><br /><strong></strong><br /><strong></strong><br />Becka M & Rainex XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXRainexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11029299051929782743noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6619765.post-1166885606846986872006-12-23T06:34:00.000-08:002006-12-23T06:53:26.876-08:00<strong>CRUMBS!!!!!</strong><br /><strong></strong><br /><strong></strong><br />I am dogged (some would say a dog).<br />I'd come for a sandwich and I was having a sandwich.<br />No alternatives.<br />However the kind of sandwich I wanted, 2 slices of white bread,<br />peanut butter and a big glass of chocolate milk was going to be<br />replaced by 2 hot boys, buttery sex and a glass of er....well<br />you don't really want to know that do you?!<br />"Please." I said.<br />"Please me." Said Quinn.<br />"Please you." said Jude.<br />I was so naked within seconds and I only thought of my empty<br />Annie being filled with twins doing the lurve thing!<br />Roasted? Well not exactly as it was far too frantic for that. It was<br />a scrabble of sex, kisses on my clitty, breasts, bum, my mouth finding<br />smooth male flesh and beautiful throbbing dicks.<br />It was so fast, all I could hear was panting, moaning, breath on my neck,<br />someone kissing my eyes and stroking my hair.<br />My mouth filled with Jude's cock, Quinn licking my cunt and filling me<br />up with one smooth thrust.<br />"My turn!" Said Jude and he entered me as soon as he had pushed his still<br />hard brother away.<br />I grinned it was good.<br />Gooooood!<br />But I'm a generous soul, to finish I put both their dicks in my mouth at<br />once.<br />Neither was the smallest of fellows.<br />And yes I have a big mouth!!!<br />But nobodies mouth <em>is that </em>big and as soon as they had rasped against<br />eachother and filled me with er.....Christmas joy, my mouth gaped<br />open like the mouth of Jacob Marley.<br />Aaah.<br />Oh yeah dislocation time baby!<br />"Shit." Said Quinn.<br />"Crumbs!" Said Jude.<br /><br /><br />Becka M XXXXXRainexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11029299051929782743noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6619765.post-1166306665141061132006-12-16T13:41:00.000-08:002006-12-16T14:04:25.170-08:00<strong>THE SEASON TO BE JOLLY</strong><br /><strong></strong><br /><strong></strong><br />Good golly, crumbs and festive greetings!<br /><br /><br /><strong>Good Golly</strong> is the place to start:<br />A rather outdated expression which would have the PC brigade<br />wetting their cacks with it's racial connotations. I wasn't thinking<br />about any of that, I wasn't thinking at all.<br />Merely I was making myself a late night peanut butter sandwich<br />and a chocolate milkshake (as you do).<br />"Hey." Said a low voice, jumping up in shock. (oh there is a perfume<br />called <em>Jump up and kiss me-</em>I am not making that up! Go google it<br />if you don't believe moi!)<br />Curled up looking like the most gorgeous hunka hunka sex was the<br />lovely Jude. He was sitting in a leather armchair just wearing boxer<br />shorts. He was reading a copy of Mayfair (the articles are soooo good!)<br />He even had on the cutest Matrixy style glasses you ever saw, I<br />wanted to lick his eyebrows!<br />"OH!" I sez, standing their in my Betty Boop nightie.<br />Then I smiled.<br />He smiled back:"How busted am I?" He smirked.<br />"Jude you are a man, you are not busted if you want to have a wa....ah<br />personal time, you can do that." I sounded like a lady virgin.<br />"Maybe I would like to have some personal time with you." He pushed<br />aside his mag to reveal a rather promising tent in his shorts.<br />I grinned, shallow I know!<br />"Where's Quinn?" I asked.<br />"He's behind you!" Said Jude straight out of a pantomime.<br />"Yeah right!" I turned:"Oh shit Quinn! You made me jump you little<br />bugger!"<br />I felt all silly, shaky and vunerable, either of these boys would<br />turn heads, together they were dynamite!<br />"Didn't mean to make you jump." Said Quinn, he really meant:<br /><em>But I wanted to make you come!</em><br />"Um I should get my sandwich and go back to bed."<br />"You should." Said Quinn.<br />"She won't." Said Jude.<br />"No I don't think you are going to make it as far as the door without<br />your legs shaking." Said Quinn, he looked at my nightie, my nipples<br />were sticking out like pepperpots!<br />I tried to go.<br />I did.<br />Jude stood up and placed his arms around me."Stay." He said.<br />"Stay." Said Quinn.<br />I could feel big spasms doing the judder thing.<br />I was acutely aware that I didn't have any knickers on.<br /><br />Christmas was coming early.<br />And my goose wasn't even cooked yet!<br /><br /><br />Becka MmmmmRainexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11029299051929782743noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6619765.post-1165163523780376402006-12-03T08:27:00.000-08:002006-12-03T08:32:03.840-08:00<strong>I NEED MONEY <span style="font-size:180%;">NOW</span></strong><br /><strong></strong><br />Shriek!!!!<br />Christmas is just around the corner!<br /><strong>AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH</strong><br /><strong>AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAA</strong><br /><strong>HHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!</strong><br /><strong></strong><br />Seriously I won't last at this rate!<br /><strong></strong><br /><strong>So if there is a kindly publicist who wants to make a grotty</strong><br /><strong>girl happy-please apply!!</strong><br /><strong>Quick we are waiting for your call!</strong><br /><strong></strong><br /><strong></strong><br /><strong>Rainex & Becka M (but mainly Rainex-she the needy one!)XXXXXXX</strong>Rainexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11029299051929782743noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6619765.post-1164566011778788292006-11-26T10:08:00.000-08:002006-11-26T10:33:31.976-08:00<strong>MONKEY'S UNCLE</strong><br /><strong></strong><br />"Why is it with you I always find myself wanting to hit my<br />head off a wall closely followed with yours?" Panted Alan, he<br />was striding along the road in the style of Darth Vader. I felt<br />very miffed, namely because I was trying to light a fag and<br />it had started to rain.<br />"I have that effect on most men." I shrugged, stopped, lit my<br />ciggie and inhaled the cool green menthol flavour. I don't care<br />what Raine says I'm never bloody well giving up!<br />"Even Mickey Bastard Straw?" He stopped and turned, not<br />a trace of sweat on his face and I was dripping like sweaty<br />Helga the Goatherd.<br />"Especially Mickey, I could really really wind that fucker up."<br />I said with some satisfaction and blew the smoke threw<br />my nose in the style of The Soup Dragon warming my winter<br />hooter up. N.B Americans hooter is British for 'nose' not titties.<br />"I'm crazy in love with you." Said Alan and kissed me on the forehead.<br />Very Priestly, all that black and repressed sexuality.<br /><em>Bless me Father for I have sinned, now put your hands down my</em><br /><em>draws haw haw</em>! This is why I never made it as a Catholic girl,<br />oh and being slightly Jewish didn't help.<br />Come to Mummy!<br />Next minute we had fallen over one of those dwarf hedges and were<br />rolling around someone's garden, snatching eachothers clothes<br />like old women at a jumble sale.<br />Alan really liked sex in public, I just liked sex so it was a good match.<br />My head hit something hard (no not <em>that)</em> it was somebody's shoe.<br />Looking upwards I saw the most lemon sucking face I'd ever seen.<br />He was about 50, his glasses were very thick, he had something in his<br />hand, long, very long.<br />Shwing!<br />Nope it was a hosepipe!<br />No he did not do <em>that!</em><br />He turned it on full pelt drenching us.<br />"Oh sorry!" He said, not looking a bit sorry.<br />"I thought you were cats or foxes fighting!"<br />"How bloody astute of you!" Said Alan lifting me up, giving<br />spec-man a good glimpse of my hairy annie!<br />His mouth dropped open.<br />I squealed.<br />Alan rolled his eyes and stood infront of me.<br />"Everyone's seen your snatch by now!" He grumbled.<br />"I hadn't." Admitted the man.<br />"Well we will be off then." I offered.<br />"Yeah sorry." Said Alan and we stepped over the small hedge.<br />"Oh and thank you." Said the man, this time he definitely had<br />something in his hand.<br />I giggled all the way home.<br />Perverts everywhere man! I always find them glory be!<br /><br />Becka Mmmmm ushroomsRainexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11029299051929782743noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6619765.post-1163626089873131162006-11-15T12:54:00.000-08:002006-11-15T13:28:10.003-08:00<strong>NURSE BITCHY AND PRICKY MICK</strong><br /><br />"Whoah Mister!" I grabbed Mickey's arm, that didn't stop him, I<br />hung on like toffee on a dog's tooth.<br />"This is my job girl, do you want me to arrest you?" He stopped<br />abruptly and I fell onto his chest which winded me in the process.<br />Ooof!<br />"You are getting old and you want to lay off them fags." Said Mickey<br />sagely but perhaps inappropriately as at that second Alan appeared<br />and his already sullen face fell into dark and angry lines.<br />Mickey laughed and peeled me off him:"Keep her, but if I was<br />you mate I'd consider an upgrade, she's getting old and puffy<br />now!"<br />"Bloody cheek!" I wheezed like a kettle. I punched his arm.<br />Bastard.<br />Alan looked furious but said nothing, which was scary, he's<br />so tall and dark, I had visions of him flying at Mickey like<br />a psychopath.<br />Not that he didn't deserve it.<br />Not that I would have cared.<br />"Mick, will Ruth be alright? Is she going down?" I said earnestly.<br />Mickey leered.<br />"Saucy! Ruth's victim, namely Justine has dropped charges,<br />I assume you will too?" I nodded. "Then it's just a fire arm<br />charge and being the uber-nut she is I shouldn't worry that<br />she won't end up in a funny farm instead of clink."<br />"Oh she'll like that, she always like farms." I smiled.<br />"Because she's an animal." Muttered Mickey;"Don't forget I've<br />got lots of hold on you girly what with knocking me out and helping<br />your Dad escape."He grinned:"That can wait until I'm bored,<br />you owe me about a zillion favours bitch!" He went in to<br />give Ruth the 3 degrees chuckling wildly.<br />Alan glowered and paced like one of those scary Mullahs,<br />I expected him to punch himself in the head at any moment.<br />"I wish to hell that bastard get's his come uppance!" From<br />this Alan decided to kick a basket containing used paper cups<br />high in the air.<br />"Oi!" Screeched a nurse:"Stop that! I'll call security!"<br />"Great another fool with a badge! Why don't I start a frigging<br />fire then we can have a whole collection of arseholes!" He<br />was getting mental.<br />The little Nurse was livid and humourless.<br />"Sounds like a straight Village People, who will you be?<br />Teacher?" I grinned imagining Alan singing YMCA, Mal<br />could wear the feathers, he'd like that.<br />"I mean it." Warned the nurse and Alan deflated just like<br />that. The Nurse straightened proudly aware of herself<br />and her own powers.<br />"Sorry." He picked up the cups:"I just have a girlfriend<br />who can't keep her knickers on for longer then five minutes<br />and her friends and lovers are the kind of people you cross<br />the street to avoid." He placed the last cup in the basket."Are<br />you single, you look nice, young, pretty."<br />The Nurse suddenly went all silly-stupid. I forget sometimes<br />that Alan is a good looking man and he's imposing.<br />I scowled at her, what a little bitch in her starchy dress.<br />"Why? You asking?" She simpered, yuk get me that basket I<br />need to vomit!<br />"I'm asking." Said Alan.<br />"Well as it happens, I am." She smiled.<br />"Stay that way, less complicated." Alan turned on his heel<br />grabbing my arm in the process. "Come on dopey."<br />I allowed myself the luxury of looking at the nurse over my<br />shoulder and pulling out my tongue.<br />"Security!" Screamed the Nurse down the phone.<br />Alan and myself decided to run.<br />At our ages exercise is very important.<br /><br /><br /><br />Becka M XXXXXRainexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11029299051929782743noreply@blogger.com6