WAX

Mad? Me? Well maybe. I phoned Master Skinner up, why-
because I have to destroy every nuance of a normal life.
"Skinner? It's Becka."
"Master Skinner, what are you phoning me for?" His voice
was less then impressed. What indeed.
"Because I'm bored."
"Bored? Ahh-what a great compliment!" His voice dripped
sarcasm.
"I meant, I thought you might have a few ideas."
"Oh I have lots of those! Call me when your in a more sensible
mood. Goodbye!" He rudely hung-up! I was fuming, but part
of me, a silly, niggly bit of my persona, liked it. I dialed him
straight back.
"Why did you hang up on me?" I demanded.
"Because you are obviously still playing." His voice was magic.
"I like to play." I said sullenly.
"Yes but you play like a child-I could teach you to play like
a woman."
"You conceited sod!" But that niggly, silly Becka-me was
intrigued.
"Even your insults are juvenile. I could teach you so much."
"Lessons from a gigolo?" I had to get that in.
"If you like-have you ever played with fire Becka? Because
that's what you are doing." His voice was silky and as slippy
as a satin g-string.
"Am I?"
"Bet you haven't even played with wax yet." He teased.
"Wax?"
"Hot wax-dripped onto your skin, I could make a perfect
droplet that would fall on your clit and you would-what
would you do Becka?" That slick voice!
"Call the police you psycho!" I laughed, but he'd got me
more then a bit hot under the collar.
"Try it yourself with a tiny candle, drizzle the wax onto your
breasts, I dare you! Lesson number one!"
He hung up again and this time, I didn't call back.
Wax? Bit pervy sounding for me, but was it really? Did I
care at all what some bald sex maniac thought I should
do? Too bloody right I did! I wondered how to broach the
subject with Alan. I'd bet he'd run for the hills, wouldn't you?
Becka Martin

UGLY NASTY RUDE ON A MONDAAAAY!!!

Mondays, love or hate them-you just can't stop them. Do I
have a problem with them? Hell yes! Today? Hell no! Because
today I capered into the office much like a spring lamb (but
prettier and less woolly). This was because 'I HAVE THE POWER!',
the power being, of course over my arch enemy Justine of the
undead and my fat, lesbian boss Angela Grade (who has a great
son). I sat there dressed super cool in a market bought suit, if you
squinted a bit, you might even think it was Prada.
I sat on my chair, swivelled around a bit, because you can do that
with a swivel chair (duh?)and waited for my lovely boss and her
bleached out hench-thing to make an entrance. See? I was even
early. When Angela finally made an appearance, I could tell that
she hadn't been sleeping well. Dark eyes, unkempt hair, pattern of
the pillow on her cheek.
"Hi." I said brightly which she ignored, how rude! A couple of
minutes later blondie crept in, eyed me the way you would a
cowpat and sat at her desk. Three silent women. Um not for long.
"Does anyone want a cup of tea?" I said.
"Not for me thanks." Said Angela.
"No." Hissed Justine through gritted teeth.
"I don't blame you-it can really make you go to the loo!" I burst
out laughing and fled up the corridor cackling wildly like an
escapee from the Happy-farm.
But like it or not, I did actually have to go back to that office,
now tell me why I can't make wisecracks at the end of the day?
Because I'm a moron, that's why.
My luck had also run out, Justine collared me in a corner.
"You! Will you cut this stuff out?" She snarled, showing acres
of teeth and quite a bit of saliva.
"Ah come on Justine! If it were me, would you leave me
alone?" I grinned at her, one day (and- it's coming) this bitch
will bust me wide open!
"No-but it's me and you've forgotten that your boss, is
actually my girlfriend! So you had better behave." She
smiled right back, about an inch from my face, if I licked her
nose I wondered, would she back off? Or just headbutt me.
Probably the latter.
"What is the deal with you and Angela? There is no fucking
way you are a lezzie, your like me girl-straight with a
few interruptions. It's for the money isn't it? Angela's paying
for some top Doc to bring you back to life."
"Shut up! I do like Angela and no, I'm not a 'lezzie' as you so
coarsely put it. I do what I want to do, your'd best stop all this
piss-taking." She closed her eyes in exasperation at what she had
said, I stifled a giggle. "I mean this constant teasing, or else
it will be worse for you." She jabbed and incredibly sharp finger
into my chest, it bloody well hurt!
"Are you threatening me?" I could not believe this small creature
could try to intimidate me, all six foot of it and succeeding!
"That's right, I might be small, but you cross me and I'll have
you." Bony appendages were removed, I could breathe again.
"Ok." I said.
"You just remember." The tilt of her head was angled with
smugness!
"I'll try to remember not to piss you off!" Then I legged it back
to the safety of Angela's bosom.

Becka

IT'S GOOD BEING ME

I feel like I've won the lottery or something! Seeing Angela
and Justine in the nud and up to watersports have put me in
the unusual position of being 'the daddy'!
Blast, I could milk this if I wanted to, but I'm far too nice a
girl!
"They were peeing on eachother?" Said Sister-thing Raine, her
small face contorted in disgust.
"Yep."
"Eeew, that's nasty." She shuddered theatrically, RADA training
would have been wasted on her, she is a natural actress.
"Yep." I agreed, very nasty and very lucky for me!
"The shame of it being caught! What did they say?"
"Angela tried to style it out saying that 'we were all adults' and
Justine being Justine ran away and locked herself in the toilet."
"She should have used it in the first place! How can that be sexy?
I really want to know." Sister-thing might be older but she can
be naive.
"It's not my bag at all, but it's kind of like S&M I think,
humiliation, degradation." I explained.
"Oh, well it's gross." Raine ran a hand through her bleached mop:
"Your life is so different to mine, I just sleep with D and my friends
are normal. You have a variety of misfits."
"Fuckwits." I corrected her.
"Fuckwits and a collection of lovers. Do you think I'm missing out
only having D?"
"No, not at all, your happy right? I would love your life if it could
be with Alan, it's just a long time coming. "
"Alan's great, like D-but crazy I guess." Raine smiled.
"Are you telling me your husband is normal?" I widened by eye's in
shock.
"Well probably not, but infinitely more normal then Alan!"
She patted me on the head and left me to stew in my juices, but
obviously not as much as Angela and Justine were stewing. And in
a different kind of juice altogether (heh-heh).
Would I use my power for good or evil? Stay tuned 'cos I don't
know myself yet.
Becka (Tena-lady) Martin

GOLDEN

Not the best time that I've had in my life, imagine this-a
people carrier, a lesbian, a zombie and a slut (moi natch!).
Talk about integration of the species, liked the car though,
a Ford Galaxy. Mostly I sat at the back, or rather sprawled
out in a semi-comatose state. Justine was far from delighted to
know that I was going on this little field trip. I knew this
because she managed to develop and fully fledged tick by the
end of it all. Angela of course was in her element, she must have
felt like a Diva or something, surrounded by 'her girls'.
We drove to Dorset to see pottery, Devon to see glass wear,
Somerset for carpentry. Not an ounce of fashion anywhere.
Angela was doing this trip as a favour to 'management',
normally she wouldn't touch crafts with a barge poll.
We stayed at various posh hotels, I have never been in so
many sauna's and because of all the rich food I can feel my
waist band straining.
Did I shag Angela again? Hell no! But I could hear Justine
pounding away every night, squealing like a puppy. It's
a wonder that Angela didn't break her.
One night we had all got rather drunk on wine, Chardonnay
I think, Justine was curling her small feet around Angela's
chunky ankles. I think I must have had an epithany .
"You know this love stuff is getting really old now." I said
belligerently, waving my wine glass around to make the
point.
"Jealous?" Cooed Justine sweetly.
"Shut up shitface! No, I'm not jealous, but I can cheerfully say
you've both put me off girls forever. So thank you."
"Becka! Why are you so aggressive? Why do you have to make
everything into a confrontation?" Demanded Angela.
"Because I can and it's fun, I think I'll turn in soon, really
had enough of Justine for one night."
"Angela! Do you have to let her talk to me like that?" Shrieked
Justine.
"I'm not her keeper, just stay awhile Becka, I've ordered some
fine brandy and chocolates."
I should have gone-really I should have, but Angela had said
'brandy' and 'chocolate', my two main vices after cigarettes.
"I'll stay for one." I said sagely.
After eating my weight in chocolate and drinking at least
a pint of brandy, I decided enough was enough.
"I'll leave you ladies now." And I did, I think I just fell asleep
where I sat at the dining table. Luckily I hadn't ordered soup.
I awoke with my tongue stuck to the pillow and my eye's
glued shut. Christ my head hurt! Then I heard the moans
and sighs coming from the bed.
Angela's room had a double bed and a single (which I was on)
the double was being used for all manner of things.
Carefully hiding behind my extensions, I peered out.
Angela, huge! Naked and sweating was buried deep into
Justine's hoo-ha. Justine equally naked and practically
luminous in her whiteness was gripping onto the bedstand.
"Angie! Oh Angie!" She shuddered suddenly and I knew that
she had came.
Next minute Angela was straddling her (Justine must have
been stronger then she looked) she stroked back the blonde's
hair, they were very hot, you could practically see the steam.
"Should we?" Said Justine impishly.
Angela looked over her shoulder at me, I tried not to move an
inch."I think it will be alright, she's well out of it."
Angela suddenly arched her back and let out the biggest stream
of piss you have ever seen. It was like a horse!
Justine acted like a crazy person as the urine splashed over her
little body.
"My turn." She said and they changed places, she pulled and
I really mean yanked her vulva upwards so that her pee rose
higher. Quite a good stream, though not much of it. She then
started to rub it into Angela's breasts frantically.
"I wouldn't want to be the chambermaid here." I said dryly
and they both turned to look at me in horror.
"Busted guys!" I sniggered.
Becka

A GOOD IDEA?

Angela phoned me again.
"Right Becka, I'm not taking no for an answer, you must
come back." She said sternly.
"Hmm, well the answers still 'no', as much as I dislike Justine
and I do really hate her, I'm not taking her job."
What a little hero I am!
"That's all very noble...."
"It is." I interrupted her.
"But my offer might make you change your tune. I will raise
your salary by 10% and you get to go on a spectacular
shopping trip!" Her voice sounded like chocolate and cream,
indulgent, fat and very bad for you. She knew me too
well.
"20% and what about Justine?"
"15% and she is staying put for now, I thought I might be
able to gently oust her later." Angela seemed happy.
"So I'll have to work with her, that's what you are saying?"
"Yes, but you will be her superior, think on that one."
I was, bloody hell imagine Justine's face! Hahahehe!
"Got yourself a deal boss lady, when do you want me to start?"
"Tomorrow and pack a few clothes as we are going away."
"What? Tomorrow is sunday, where and why?" I felt a bit
panicky, way too fast for me.
"That's my surprise, you won't need your passport though,
I'll pick you up at 7.30am, be up please and do something
with your hair!" She hung up.
Now I had to tell Alan, damn and we were getting on so
well too. Where were we going? I hoped sincerely that I
would not have to shag her again. That was Justine's job
description, hopefully I had moved on to better things.
"Alan honey, just popping around Sister-thing's for a
coffee!" I called out.
"Fine babe." He answered.
I'd talk it through with Raine first, damn-it was stalling
but it had to be done. I'm a coward.

Becka (I will write soon, god knows when!) Martin

LICKY

Oh the joy of love! Am I making you sick? I'm making me
sick, but who cares? Alan loves me and I'm his Boo again!
What could be better then that? Well.......

Angela Grade phoned me.
"Becka? Angela, I'm calling to say I'm really sorry for what
has happened and the job is yours if you want it."
Was she shitting me?
"I beg your pardon, was that an apology? I didn't quite hear
you." Fabulous to be in the position of the smug and contented.
"I just think that you should come back to work, you must need
the money, the amount you spend on alcohol and hair products.
Look, I'll level with you, it's just not working out with Justine."
I caught my breath, was the blonde and scary one losing her
touch?
"I thought you said that she was excellent. What's changed?
Don't tell me you slept with her!" I laughed I really did not
think that they had but....
"Well we did, but it was a huge mistake! She is so clingy! Like
some love-starved puppy! So licky!" I heard her groan in disgust.
"I thought that would be a good thing." I tried not to laugh:"You
must be very brave Angela, sleeping with the Undead! Was she
pale like a slug?"
"Don't be cruel! I will say this though, she was completely
hairless, it really turned me off!"
"Well she is blonde, not hairy are they? Anyway she probably
had a Hollywood or something." I giggled, really hard to keep a
straight face in this situation I can tell you!
"No-I think it was genetic, she's never had body hair apparently."
I could hear Angela shuddering again, good-the bitch!
"Well I guess that makes access that much easier, look I have
to go, make Alan brekkie, shag him senseless, the usual."
"I'll lay my cards on the table, I don't want you back as a lover
ok? Unless you want to of course, but I would really be grateful if
you could come back." Her voice was grovelly.
"Hmm, I'll consider it, bye Angela, regards to Justine!"
Whoo! Maybe I would go back but this time I would be top
doggie! Who would have put Justine down as a Licker, just
goes to show, don't judge a book by the cover.

Later, the twins crept back today, faces beaming with male
pride. "You are two rude little bastards!" I laughed, they both
leered at me. What was this twin thing? Twice as nice, or two
times as creepy, I could not work it out. That was Ruth's
problem.
Becka (The Best Martin)

CARRY ON TWINS

Spent the last couple of days with a stupid grin on my face-
that and playing Monopoly with my nephew Aidan which is
enough to turn your brain to gloop.
I had better fill you in on what went on the other night, well
after catching a cab (probably the thickest cabbie in London)
we arrived at The Twisted Gut.
I felt like a movie star with such handsome young men,
everyone stared (that would be the man with the dog on the
string and Big Shirl who tutted away like a barn owl).
I did not care one jot, the boys were obviously trying to get me
drunk to have their wicked way with me which was not
working but I was getting plenty of free booze out of it.
Then Ruth came in dressed up to the nines in a dress that
screamed 'Fuck me now!' she marched up to and jabbed a
finger in my chest.
"I thought you were dead."
"No-just in Cornwall."
"I hop you brought me back some fudge." She flicked her
fringe to get a better look at the boys.
"I did, but I ate it, it was far too good for you." I said and
sipped my brandy and coke.
"Bitch! Who are the hotties?"
"They are the twins, Quinn and Jude, hey boys this is Ruthie,
your'd better watch her."
"We are." Said Quinn and pulled Ruth into a sitting position
onto his lap.
"Cheeky!" She yelped but stayed put, somehow I ended up
perched like a budgie on Jude's lap. I think he was the sexiest
of the pair, his eyes had a devil's glint in them.
Spent an enjoyable hour wriggling around on Jude and listening
to Quinn and Ruthie bitch at eachother like an old married
couple. I was suddenly aware I was being watched, Alan stood in
the door way like a prophecy of doom. Freaked, I stood up.
"What the hell do you think you are doing you little shit?"
He snarled, I was so drunk I thought he was talking to me
(Jude actually) but I rose to the occasion (like Jude had been
doing).
"Shut up Alan! Go and talk to your middle-aged Vampire,
I've wasted far too much time with you!" Which I had.
"That's it!" Alan grabbed me up by the front of my top and
yanked me upright. "Your coming home!"
Jude and Quinn protested, Ruthie giggle and screamed like a
harpie.
"You can all go to hell, she's going home now!" Roared Alan,
boy was he pissed off. Outside was his car which he pushed
me into roughly. I Kept falling asleep on the way home, but was
all the time aware that he was seething.
When we got back to his place, he helped me in and pushed
me again roughly to the sofa. He was really acting out of
character. I liked it truth be told, it was turning me on bigtime.
"Hard man!" I giggled and stuck out my tongue, he lightly
slapped my face.
"Yeah? Like it rough do you?"
"I do." I nodded, he pulled my head back by my hair.
Next moment he was tearing and I do mean tearing my clothes
off, all my rape fantasies were coming true. He frog marched me
to his room and pushed me down to his bed, grabbing the remnants
of my top he ties my hands together. His fingers began to squirm
roughly in my panties, I could feel the elastic going, then gone.
He was quite brutal, he drove his fingers deeper, brutally stabbing
into my soft flesh. He bit my breasts with vicious little nips
devouring them. Then he turned me over and entered from behind,
I really though he was going to bugger me, luckily he didn't.
It did not last long, that much excitment never does, I felt his
back arch with passion as he came ectastically.
"I love you." I murmured, my face wet with tears and sweat.
"Then marry me and stop this foolishness."
"Was that a proposal?" I gasped.
"Might have been." He unbound my hands and stroked my
face.
"If you can make love to me like that more often, then the
answer is yes!" I kissed his long nose.
"I'll see what I can do." Then it started all over again but this
time gently, cherishing every moment.
We curled up together and slept contentedly. Sated and full.
Next day I phoned Ruth to see how her night had gone as the
twins had not come home.
"I can hardly walk for all the right reasons! What a pair-
un-fucking-believable! We did it everywhere and everywhich
way. Even a spit roast!" Ruth is so rude, that's why I like her.
"Could you tell them apart without their clothes on?"
"Yeah, Jude's dick bends to the left and Quinn's to the right!
I think I'm in love!"
"With both of them?" I gasped.
"Shame to split up such a pretty pair."
So stay tuned for the latest installment.
Becka

I HATE THAT WOMAN

Bloody Pru! Just hearing her name make's me feel
sick-Alan came back looking ruffled and flustered and
I'm not altogether sure that something might be going
on.
"What did the bitch want? You again I suppose?" I snarled
like a rottweiler. Very attractive, lots of teeth and spit
involved.
"As a matter of fact she did." He smiled at me and the very
hint of a self-satisfied smirk touched his lips sending me
over the edge.
"You told her you were with me right?" I demanded.
"I did." he said not offering anything else in return.
"You git." I muttered and grabbed my denim jacket (Diesel,
very nice) :"I'm going up the pub." You know me, always
the runaway.
"Becka, please calm down, the twins are looking at you!"
He whispered imploringly.
"Sod the twins! Sod you too, I'm off to The Twisted Gut
to see real people!" I don't know why I said that, it sounded
a bit sad, still, it was said.
I stormed off, then remembered that I would have to get a
cab, shit, I forgot that I didn't life within spitting distance
anymore.
"Hey wait up!" Said a male voice. Jude was running to catch
up with me, followed closely by Quinn.
"We thought you might like some company." (This was Jude).
The both linked arms with me, it was like being in a twin
sandwich. Kind of yummy and definitely not low fat.
"Poor Alan, I should go back, say sorry. I was totally out of
order."
"Nah, let him stew, drink with us." (This was Quinn).
So I did.
Becka

RETURN OF THE QUEEN

Mega sulking does not become me (along with haunted hair
extensions) and an unerring way of pissing Alan off. We've
only been back together for like, 2 minutes when Pru, queen-
bitch of the has-beens phones up again!
"Tell her to fuck off!" I growled, unfortunately this was in the
presence of the sexy twins. They laughed at me!
"Ssh Becka!" Said Alan:" Sorry Pru, continue, oh yes, Becka
is back." She was talking about me!
"Damn right!" I said loudly, Alan waved his hands in a theatrical
way, I ignored him. The twins tittered loudly, he glared at them.
"Do you think that's wise? I can't talk you out of it?" Alan
frowned: "Alright then, I'll meet you at The Melba in 30
minutes. Yes I understand!" He hung up and looked at me.
"I don't!" I squeaked.
"You don't what?" Said Alan, I could see the other two were
watching intently, a little drama unfolding before their eyes.
"I don't understand! Why are you seeing the horrible cow
anyway?" I sounded like a spoilt child, I did not give a toss.
"Because she wants me to! I won't be long and I'm sure the
boys will keep you amused , won't you?"
Both men affirmed this, but there was a slight redness to
Quinn's face and a twinkle in Jude's eye.
"Alan that woman is trouble." I warned.
"I know that!" He snapped and ran a hand through his hair:
"You have nothing to worry about-really."
"Everytime someone says that my life gets worse." I groaned.
"Don't be a big girl." Said Alan slamming the door as he left.
"Ah poor baby!" Said Jude and placed his arms around me,
which was not unpleasant, just unexpected. I wriggled free.
"Ah thanks boys, I'll just have a lie down."
"Fancy any company?" Said Quinn and Jude nudged him
reprovingly. I just fled.
Twins, beautiful, sexy and dead odd-these ones were at any
rate!
Becka

JUSTINE (CASE)

Apart from my hair singing 'Cotton eye Joe' all night long,
it's been a totally fucked couple of days. Firstly mending my
sore arm then having to bite the bullet and return to work.
What a nightmare! Angela had found a replacement in my
absence in the form of a putrid Justine. I felt shocked what
little snakey bitch! Would she jump in my grave so quickly.
We looked eachother up and down in horror and distaste,
much like two dogs circling eachother. She was good I must say,
in a French navy coloured suit and her fluffy hair tamed and tied
back. Totally different from her bubble-gum persona.
"Oh it's you." She said.
"And it's you. What the fuck are you doing in Angela's office?"
I'm not stupid, but I wanted to hear it from her own poison lips.
"After you went gallivanting with your fancy man, Angela
decided that I could assist her. We've been getting on famously."
Her smug face was just about fist sized.
"Does she call you 'Spiky love-muffin?' Or perhaps Tigergirl? No,
in your case it would probably be 'Zombie-baby' or Necro-woman."
I grinned at my own wit. I wished I hadn't, Angela Grade stood
glowering in the doorway like the world's scariest continental quilt.
"Becka! That is no way to talk to my personal assistant you should
apologise immediately if you value your job." I saw her for what she
was a fat, unhappy, powercrazed bitch. But I did feel regretful.
"I do value my job, however putting Justine in my place is plain
mean, you know we don't get on. I find that rather spiteful."
"She's been doing an excellent job. Very good indeed." Boasted
Angela. Justine grinned and blushed and I kind of knew then, that
it had gone beyond a professional relationship. Justine was straight
though-just very ambitious, exactly what I'm not.
"I see." I emptied my drawer into my handbag, not much really,
a calculator from the Pound shop and a half eaten Mars bar. Oh and a
spare tampon (because you never know).
"Do you want to go back to your counter?" Said Justine, gosh she was
hitting me where it hurt. As I would with her if I had the chance.
"I'd rather suck eggs through a straw from a donkey's backside."
"I'll take that as a 'no' then?" Justine grinned and standing behind
Angela she winked lewdly at me. I had no illusions, there was very
little difference between Justine and myself other then total laziness
on my part.
"I'm sorry you are leaving." Said Angela, I think she meant it, but I
was hurt.
"Yeah right!" I left them standing together, the most unlikely couple
ever! I felt hurt and humiliated (not in a nice sexy way) more of a
crushing sense of being let down. It was Angela who had pulled me
from the shop floor and pursued me. She had done all the running.
"I hope you two are really happy together. In Hell!" I threw a chair
through the window smashing the glass and left with my head held,
well quite low really.
I rode home slowly on my Vespa, home to Alan who would feed me
chocolate ice cream and rub my belly for me.
I noticed a rather grand Range Rover parked outside.
I entered and could hear raucous male voices.
"Becka! " Said Alan in surprise and kissed me on the forehead:
"What are you doing home?"
I noticed two extremely and I mean extremely handsome young
men sitting on the couch. Identical in everyway. Twins.
"Um, I'll tell you later, are you going to introduce me to your friends?"
"Friends?" Alan laughed and the young men sniggered.
"No Becks, these are not friends! My cousins, Jude and Quinn."
"Ah, I see." I smiled and blushed, shaking their hands.
"They will be staying a few days, hope you don't mind?"
"No of course not."
It would be nice to have them around the operative word being
'Have'. (Only kidding!)
Becka

I FELL ON MY BUM......

Well I did and very hard too, from the top of the stairs
to the bottom. Chipped my elbow and dented my pride, Alan
thought it was quite funny though. Spookily enough I've been
feeling very down ever since....it's that feeling that life can
change at any moment and I wasn't even pissed (which was a
first). Maybe I just miss being in Boscastle.
Hey! Have you seen the news about Cornwall and the flooding?
Bloody hell, we were there, we only missed it by a couple of days!
Oh I didn't tell you much about Gus did I? Very blond very buff as
in (buffoon). Tried it on with me in the sand dunes, very
suggestive he was too. Alan had been sent off to buy ice cream
and ciggies, lovely having a slave and here I was sitting on the sands
with this bronzed god of a man. He spoilt it though when he opened
his mouth, you would have to gag him for sure if you had a
relationship with him. He was way too thick even by my standards.
So there I was in my almost see-thru string bikini (with my troll's
hair standing out wildly) and my blue sunglasses. Gus sits down
(on top of me-as they do) I resisted, honestly I did!
"Get off you big perve!" I shrieked, thoughrily delighted by the
attention though, I could feel him working down my briefs and
the sand scratching my arse.
"You love it you little slag." He laughed, I punched him as hard
as I could in the balls. He sat there grunting and swearing until
Alan arrived with dripping ice-cream and more importantly my
menthol ciggies. He peered at his friend.
"Gus are you alright? You've gone quite red, perhaps you've
had too much sun?"
Gus nodded and shot me a look from hell, I would pay for that
ball bashing no doubt.
I licked the running cornet still cluctched in Alan's hand, I did
suggestive things with my tongue, aware that both men were
watching me. It was a good holiday.
Oh and the hair belongs to a Russian bird called Olga, I know
this because she is haunting me. She thinks I'm a slut.
As if...
Becka

BABUSHKA YA YA

Well I'm back and nobody missed me in blogosphere! Had a
brilliant holiday though in Cornwall, although my hair is still
freaking me out.
1./ Because it's haunted and belongs to a Russian peasant woman
2./ Because it's not quite real hair and I've looked more troll then
human of late with my big old hair and severe sunburn. Who knew
the West Country would be so hot?
3./ I'm still not used to the new length and have nearly strangled
myself in my sleep.
The cottage we stayed at was more like a stately home. How could
they call this crumbling palace a cottage? Rich people huh!
It was owned by Alan's friend who was very Brideshead revisited
i.e English , handsome and impossibly gay. (I was wrong about the
gayness part though-tell you later) Best holiday in years though
apart from a plague of wasps scared me half to death, I fell down the
stairs on numerous occasions, drank my weight in brandy oh yeah-and
I shagged Alan!
Will write more tomorrow-you have been warned!
Becka (naughty girl)Martin

HOLI-DAZE

Woke up this morning to find Alan sitting on the end
of my bed smiling and holding a tray of coffee and peanut
butter toast (smooth-I hate that crunchy shit).
"Still love the hair." He said with a smile, I had to stop
myself dragging him into bed with me, although god, I
wanted to! Talking of hair-do you think hair can be haunted?
This was off a real person, who was to say that they could be
dead? Anyway it's spooking me out-I have ghost hair!
"Listen, I have a surprise for you."
"Yeah? That's great I love surprises." I remembered the
Vespa he had bought for me.
"I've been speaking to your Boss Angela. Don't look so
worried! She's agreed to give you some time off. I'm taking you
on holiday, I need one and you deserve one for putting up with
me." He kissed my hand, hey I never knew the nerves there
contacted to my hoo-ha before! Master Skinner was becoming a
memory (a niggly one though-I had destroyed his card, but still
remembered his phone number) Alan was my destiny.
"Where are we going?" I hoped that it would be somewhere
involving long flight delays.
"Cornwall." he said firmly.
"Cornwall?" I tried to smile but my mouth wouldn't let me.
"Yes it's a cottage in Tintagel owned by my friend Gus, your'll
love it-the place of myths and legends, King Arthur, the Knights
of the round table." His eyes shone, but he won me over.
"Has it got shops?"
He patted my head like you would do to a young child-or an
idiot.
"So your friend owns this place, tell me are all your friends
rich?"
"Yes-pretty much." He admitted.
"Except me." I said proudly.
"My little Gutter Rose." He smirked and then went off to pack.
So I won't be writing for awhile off to fester in the West Country!
Do try to cope without me (yeah like anyone reads this much!)
I will miss you and Raine will be glad to recover her computer
for awhile. My hair is still freaking me out.
Becka

HAIR!

I was reading my very first entry to this blog (god it feels ages
back even though it isn't) I was raving about my hair. I really
miss having hair-I'm not myself with a short cut. I whinged so
much on the phone that Ruth turned up at Alan's door (much
to his dismay) carrying bags full of extensions.
"I thought this might shut you the fuck up." She mumbled, also
avoiding Alan's eye. Shortly he said:
"Well I think I'll leave you ladies to it." I hoped he wasn't going
to the pub to drown his sorrows. Though he probably was.
For the next five (yeah 5) hours Ruth worked on my hair, it
bloody hurt and I had a tension headache. I grumbled and
groaned like a bag-lady, Ruth hit me repeatedly on the head
until I stopped. When she was finished I looked in the mirror
and saw:
1./The troll queen
2./Chewbacca
3./Diana Ross (In the chain reaction video)
4./myself fully restored and gorgeous!
Ok-it was a combination of 2 and 4, I was happy, I had hair,
though it was not quite my hair.
It was good enough for me though-I kissed Ruth's feet happily.
"Get off you big queer fool! I only did it because I was sick and
tired of you looking like Rent-A-Dyke."
"I feel like a princess!" I gushed, easing my waist length hair
through my fingers, so silky.
"Hey this feels like real hair." So realistic on account:
"It is human hair, you doof!" Said Ruth:"From India or Russia,
whatever, they don't want it, you got it, who cares?"
"I bloody do! Maybe they did want their hair? Ever thought
about that?" I was faintly horrified (though not horrified enough
to cut it all off again).
"If they did, then they did, bit late now to worry about it. But
your happy with it?"
"Love it." I admitted shamefully, I definitely tell Alan it was
synthetic.
"I'll just trim off a bit, looks too long." Said Ruth.
"No! I want it all!" I'd only just got it.
"Sit down!" She barked and trimmed it anyway, had to admit
it looked much more believable. We ate the remains of the Indian
meal we had ordered and then Ruth got a cab home. What a star
she was!
I wondered what Alan would think of my new look. Then rather
shamefully I imagined Master Skinner tying me up with my own
hair. Oooh!
Becka

CLOUD 2

Really I should not have done this-phone Master Skinner
again.  But there you go-I am an evil bitch who is twisted
and perverted. I also happen to like the guy.
"Thought your'd be back." Said the far too confident voice.
"Yeah-I am! Wondered why you thought I was the kind of
girl who would have to pay for it."
"I think you are the kind of girl who is far too scared of what
she really is and really wants to be."
"That so? You just want your £150 quid!"
"There is that!" He laughed surprisingly high like a girl-not
exactly a turn on.
"Got any freebies?" You don't ask-you don't get.
"Cheapskate! All my charity work is done at Thrumz and you
are far too repressed for that!"
"No! I just don't want all and sundry seeing me get my jollies is
all!" Cheeky bald sod!
"And you would be getting them with me. That is definite."
"I'll see you Skinner."
"Master Skinner to you!" He stormed.
"Master!" I spat the word from my mouth like it was a piece of
filth:"I don't think so!"
Hmmph.
I should be so happy-on cloud 9. Try cloud 2. I've got Alan and yet
it's crap, he's morose and moody and not at all up for sex.
I just want to hold him in my arms and love him, still separate
bedrooms. Did I mention the extreme lack of sex?
Becka Martin

SHOULD BE HAPPY-NOT!
 
I'm back in the hub of contentment, back with Alan am
I happy, hell I'm not! Because the conditions are not right,
ok anything is better then Raine's couch but still this could
be so much better.
1./ Alan could at least pretend to be happy
2./ Why am I sleeping in the spare room?
3./ Alan should stop drinking immediately
4./ Master Skinner's card is burning a hole in my pocket
I phoned him in the end.
"Skinner it's Becka."
"I thought you might phone." he sounded quite arrogant.
"Well I have."
"£150." he said.
"Excuse me?"
"I charge £150 for a basic S&M session-extras to be
negotiated.
"I see-you sound like some sort of male Brass." I had a bad
feeling about this.
"I like to think I am providing an affordable service for special
folk." His clipped voice grated on my nerves.
"Right-well anyone who calls me 'folk' has to go, bye." I hung up
on him. Honestly do I really look like a woman who has to pay for
it? Cheeky bugger.
Becka

BACK WHERE HE BELONGS

Last night I slept fitfully on Raine's sofa wishing that I could
get Master Skinner out of my head. The man was bad news
with a capital B for bastard.  I could hear in my half-sleep
Sister-thing and D getting it on and from the other room Aidan
gently snoring.  I shouldn't be here, I did not belong in a family
unit I was a freak!  Then the door sounded,  I went to open the
door but D stopped me.
"I'll check it out, could be a crack-head or something." (Did I tell
you he was deeply paranoid?)
It wasn't-it was Alan, standing there, disheveled but still
gorgeous. D looked at me, then at Alan and decided to retreat.
"Becka I'm so sorry, I'm just a sad git." I ushered him in and
made him a coffee as I could smell whiskey on on.
"What do you want Alan? Really, what do you want of me." The
worst part was I looked like a complete prat, checked shirt and a
hole in my knickers. (You never look devastating when it really
counts.)
"I just want us to stay friends, I can't offer anything else, I'm a
drunk for fucksake!" He said bitterly.
"That's good-I can do friends." After his drink we curled up on the
sofa together, not at all sexual-just out of great need.
"Move in with me? The spare room of course?" He asked as he
stroked my hair.
"I can do that." And I could, at the very least I wouldn't have to
sleep on a sofa again.
Becka Martin

THRUMZ

Well LilacLace it aint! Where upon Grady (ole butterball's)
club is the height of good taste and wisely invested money.
Thrumz was more of a do-it on a skanky budget style. The
walls were painted matt black and were sticky with
condensation (at least I hoped it was!) everyone was
tricked out in fetish gear.
Big turn off! I'd bullied and pestered Ruth until she agreed
to come with me. She had on a little rubber ( milkmaid)
dress (black of course) and thigh high boots. I was wearing
my leather tousers with ankle boots and a red plastic basque
purchased for this very evening. Though I must admit we
looked positively normal compared to everyone else.
Everywhere you looked people were being licked, bitten and humiliated. Like christmas time for perverts.
"Christ Becka! This place is disgusting!" Said Ruth and
wrinkled her nose in distaste. She had a point.
"Hmm, let's see what's going on then." We linked arms and
primly swam the crowd. A woman with a shaved head and pierced
nipples winked at Ruth who shuddered.
A man had caught my attention, he was shaven headed and
wearing leather trousers and a studded belt. He was busying
himself with a hoist and a length of rope.
"What are you doing?" I asked.
He smiled at me to reveal two silver vampire teeth glinting
in the half-light. His eye's had those crazy contacts in that
made them look like a cat's. He was about 30 and obviously
a bodybuilder type.
"I'm making a swing." He said in an impossibly posh and
clipped voice.
"Oh? That sounds harmless!" I laughed, Ruth shrugged and
went to the bar where she talked to man who had two rats
sitting on his shoulders.
"Harmless?" The baldy smirked:"I guess you are new or else
you would have seen me in action. The name's Master Skinner."
He shook my hand, I winced because he was wearing studded
knuckle dusters.
"Becka. So what's it for then?" I checked his trousers-very
nice too.
"Why do you want to try it out?" I could see him eye me up
and down, I suddenly realised that he was about 7 foot tall.
I felt small and girly for a change!
"No! I'll watch you though, it looks interesting."
"Chickenshit." He said under his breath and then loudly:
"Ok girls, I need a volunteer!"
A buzz went around the club and a few woman crept forwards.
"Take me Master." Said a hot blonde.
"No Nadine, your getting greedy now. Next!" He grunted.
"Me!" Said an oriental girl with blue hair.
"No Li you always start crying. Next!"
"Master I'm your slave." Said a gorgeous girl with a shaven
head and multiple piercings. He looked her up and down.
"Your getting too fat Chrissy! Next!"
"You sound like Simon Cowell!" I giggled, Master Skinner
glared away. It was strangely exciting.
"Watch out or I'll make you do it!" He warned.
I shut the fuck up-it wasn't that exciting!
"What about me?" This was Ruth! I gawped at her.
"Ruthie no! What are you on?" I laughed. Master Skinner
looked at her. Obviously she is very cute and thin.
"Yes you will do, strip off to your panties and take your
bra off." He was warming to his task.
"Um can't I keep them on?" Ruth protested.
"No. Now strip!" Master Skinner grinned as she peeled off her
clothes, god knows what funny kick Ruth was off on, but she
certainly got more then she bargained for.
"I don't want to be whipped and no butt stuff!" She warned
as she undid her tiny bra. A collective gasp from the
audience at her exposed breasts.
"Right, now straddle this." He commanded and put a rope
between her legs, placed a hankerchief each side of it
covering her decency.
Ruth gasped as he increased the pressure, then he bound her
chest with rope until her little titties stood out engorged
and rosy. Then he raised her using the hoist, she began to
rock gently at first.
"Oh Becka!" She moaned. It looked like she was riding a
horse, he pushed her harder, the rope bit into her tender
skin and obviously between her legs. I could see her bite her lip.
He took a knife out!
"Whoah!" I said and made to grab it off him.
"Don't worry, just relieving the tension." He explained and
cut her g-string off, she plopped down harder on the rope.
"Oooh!" She moaned:"Oooh aaah ooh!" It seemed to go on
forever, every shudder and tremor I could feel too. All the
time Master Skinner kept his eye's on me.
The crowd were like:"Woooaaahhh!" I felt the same.
She jerked and shuddered on the rope and then reddened.
"Get me the fuck down!" She skrieked and fled naked to the
loos with a stunning round of applause banging in her ears.
"Do you think she came?" I asked.
"Everytime." Said Master Skinner: "They always do-so will you."
He placed one of his cards down my top, squeezing a nipple painfully on the way.
"Maybe we should meet privately." He said and winked, I
gasped and ran after Ruth who was fuming.
"Why did you do it?" I asked a bit in awe of her now.
"I wished I hadn't! I did it for a laugh, but I'm not
laughing now! I've never ever came so hard and so painfully!
I don't think I will walk tomorrow." She nagged. But my
head was buzzing, didn't like the idea of an audience but
very much liked the thought of Skinner manipulating me.
Becka

HE SAID...

Well I've officially turned into a muppet, how could
I be so stupid? I turned up at Alan's house dressed in a
black shift dress and fuck-me pumps that were beautiful but
were killing my feet. I'd blow-dried my hair and slicked
it behind my ears, I hoped that I looked a little like
Audrey Hepburn. I bet I didn't. I carried a bottle of Absolut
vodka as a peace offering. He opened the door and wow he looked like shit! I'd been waiting to see him for so long and he made a tramp seem classy! Alan's hair stood in greasy little twists, he
had a Fred Flinstone chin and his eyes were red and watery.
He was wearing a faded grey sweatsuit that looked none too
clean (personally I wouldn't greet the bin-men in that get-up!)
and on his feet were horrible holey socks. Nice touch.
"Hey Alan!" I gave him my sharpest smile, he glared at me.
"Becka. What are you doing here?" He made no move to let me
into his house, I felt like a Jehovah's Witness.
"Well, I heard that you and Pru had split up and I thought
that you could use some company. I missed you." Gave him
that killer smile again.
"Oh you did? Yes she breezed into my life and wrecked it
again. And now you." His eyes narrowed bitterly.
"I just thought we could have a drink and a chat. Nothing
heavy." My smile was a bit droopy now.
"Well the last thing I need in my life is you Becka and I
certainly don't need any alcohol considering I've been on a
massive binge for the last week." He had a wildness to him
that I had never seen before.
"Well we don't have to drink. Maybe I could make you some
supper, or phone for a pizza? Are you going to let me in
Alan?" I sounded a bit squeaky and desperate now. He looked
me up and down.
"No. I don't think I will, thanks for coming round and if I
ever need a shag, I'll call you. Goodnight!" He slammed
the door in my face!
My heart was beating in my chest like a drum, I looked
around to see if any of his neighbours had noticed. They
had. I could see the curtains twitching away. Shit.
Especially the 'If I ever need a shag' part. That burned me.
It really did.
So that was what he thought of me-just a slag I guess. I'd
show him slag! I walked to the cab office with my feet aching
and my head ready to explode. I'd show him something! Right-
so where was that nightclub THRUMZ that Jeff had taken me to
ages back? Did it still exist? It better bloody well had-
as a good S&M session is what I need now.
Becka

THOSE BLOODY WOMEN AGAIN

I've been like a junkie today-sweating, chain-smoking
using the loo a lot (no change there then)and constantly
thinking about Alan. Angela said I was a dead loss and sent
me home at 1pm, (which was great) I managed to find myself
on the Embankment Bridge looking out over the Thames. They
say the water is cleaner now (they lie) it was the colour
of chocolate truffles. Still I have a soft spot for old
London (in the head)and sometimes wonder if I will ever
leave it. Can you imagine me in the country? Country pub
maybe, but I can't be doing with all that silence and
stuff, it would sent me ga-ga. I need bustle and trouble.
Then it happened-an old lime green D reg Escort pulled
up and out strode THE WOMEN WHO CHANGE CARS, they were
impeccably dressed as ever and would never see sixty again. They got into a fantastic! Gorgeous! Deep metallic blue Daimler! I wanted a car like that-so bad it hurt! I would sell my Vespa, nay I would sell my soul to own a vehichle like that. Who were these old girls? What was it with the cars? I had seen them three times to date now, would I ever find out what they were up to? Would it change my world?
I inhaled deeply on my metholated ciggie, the time was
ripe, I would go to Alan's place, see if he was ok.
Shag him senseless. Something about those bloody women was
so inspiring.
Becka