WEDDING OF THE DAMNED


Well we ticked over for sometime, me grudgingly seeing
Ruth when Simon deemed fit usually with him there with
us smarmily watching in case I suddenly had the urge to
pull down her knickers. Or with him in the vicinity,
with Ruth texting him constantly to make sure she hadnt
vacated to Dykesville pussylove town.

Then they married. Would you believe that I was not asked
to be bridesmaid? Or best person or best anything! No I
was relegated to the wierd table, no top table for me, I sat
with the dogy aunts and the far removed (from reality) cousins.

Was I happy? You betcha not. I wasnt even allowed to attend the
hen night. They had a sedate time in Barcelona and I stayed home
gritting my teeth. But I bared with it, this is what friends do
when a friend is acting like she lost half her brain cells.

To her wedding Ruth wore a dress which made her look like:

1./ Little house from the Oxfam Prarie

2./ A Hammer House Virgin

3./ Fucking ugly

I looked terrific navy maxi dress to show off my height and a
pair of killer silver wedges. Barbarela meedts Barbra Streisand.


The dress also hid my fat arse.

Sim Mr Groom Bastard features wore a navy suit that looked
like it was Armani and must had cost a trillion times more
then Ruth's thrifty shocksvilla dress.

She wore no make up and had her hair dyed a lovely shade
of mouse brown.

And she said Obey! When I heard the words I said No! Inwardly.

But it was done, a surrendered wife inthe flesh. I always thought
it was a kinkt thing with spanking and Masters. This was definately
less sexy and more sinister.

And where the fuck was Alex?

Best Becka XXXXX


(Thanks Butterfly and Lindy. Yeah had a hard time, then got better
then had no enthusiasm. Then went to my lowest. Then had no imagination
and then finally I crawled back to Becka street. Love you all!)

REMIND ME WHAT?

"What did you tell him?" I fumed after I had Ruth
to myself whilst laughing boy went to powder something.

"Everything, honest is the best policy in relationships."
Stated Ruth.

"Somethings are better left unsaid or at least to the
imagination! Jeez Ruth he thinks I Queen Dyke from
Lickety Split street for fuck sake!" I was fuming! Really
what a dozy bitch!

"Yeah, uh about that, I kinda changed it around a little,
I said that you were the instigator." She smiled cheesily
like a child overdosing on Babybels.

"Fuck you Ruth! So much for honesty! He gave me some Rules
to abide by if I want to remain your friend. The cheek of it!
I've known you like, forever and he's laying down the rules like
some tinpot dictator." I swigged my drink and glared.

"What did he say?" She asked.

" He said:

RULE ONE

No contact without consulting him. (I will die)

RULE TWO

We cannot be alone together (just in case I cannot
control myself around you!)

RULE THREE

Any inappropriate behaviour will lead to loss of
visiting privilege's (Like you are our child in a fucked
out custody battle)

RULE FOUR

No physical contact at all (which includes hugs kisses
the usual (so a shags out of the question)

"You don't do that anymore anyways." Said Ruth pointedly.

"That's besides the point! Let me finish.

RULE FIVE

Anything that breaches rules 1-4 could result in total
alienation.

"What does that mean?" Asked Ruth.

"That baby means we are royally screwed." How very dare he!

"Oh." Ruth smiled:"I think he's sweet." She smiled that knowing
look of the doomed.

"Sweet? S-smarmy W-wanker E-eejit E-ego T-twat! No?"

Best Becka

SIMON SAYS

Who gives a flying shit what he says? Bastard.
He hates me so much I can hear his teeth grinding
everytime he comes within a 1 mile radius!
The worst thing was I really wanted to give the guy
a chance you know?

When Ruth started dating him a couple of years back,
well I was sceptical, she is really such a big lezza
I thought it was just a whim. But more power to her
she stuck with it and really made the relationship
work. Albeit without ever introducing the cow son to
me. Then she says she's getting married please meet
this hunka love and approve him baby.

I was over from my Ruth thing anyway and I was really
happy for her, no really I was! I agreed to meet Mr
fucking perfection in this really dire throwback to
the 80's City pub. I was dressed in a really nice
Hannibal T shirt with black drainies and monkees but
I had paid special attention to my hair and make up.
I looked good in a roadie kind of way. I was early
so I had a large G & T and waited expectantly. I was
not nervous this was not my date this was a good thing!

Enter the dragon

Oh my gosh the worst thing was seeing Ruth dressed like
someone playing maiden aunt. Little skirt, little sweater
sensible shoes. Make up non existent.

I took a big gulp from my drink and smiled like someone
who had just bitten into a crunchy caterpillar on their
rocket salad.

Then I saw the lumbering ox she had attached to her hand,
I thought he was one of those monkies on a Radley bag
but no , he was a 6 foot neanderthal. Huge hulking body,
straight black hair cut for fuck sake like Vernon Kay
used to have. Blue eyes hidden by square rimmed specs, a
smile that would make a shark wince, white sharp and a
helluva lot of teeth. He was a one man advert for whitening.
However there was not an iota of warmth in his smile.

"I'm really pleased to meet you Becka, I've heard so
much about you." He said pleasantly enough and held my
hand a little too tightly.

Sometimes when someone does that you know that they fancy
you, but he almost hurt me, the pressure was there and
it felt like hate.

"Likewise Simon." I smiled back and freed my hand, I wanted
to wipe it on my jeans but that would have been rude.

"Honey can you go to the bar please?" Simon said to Ruth.

"Of course I can, red wine? Becka?" Ruth's voice sounded
dead posh.

I frowned at her. "G & T babes."

She left to tussle with the packed bar.

I turned my attention to Simon. " Ruthie is very pleased and
happy with you, I havent seen her so happy in years." I
said honestly.

Simon looked at me for a second and said: "I intend to keep
Ruth that way with or without your co operation." The voice
had such an open hostility that I hadn't heard in years. It
took me aback that's for sure.

"Ah not sure I understand where you are coming from Simon."
I admitted.

He leaned forwards just as Ruth was travelling back with the
drinks tray and hissed :"Ruth has told me everything about you
and if you want to remain a friend and included in her life
you are going to have to play by the rules."

I recoiled:"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"You are a bad influence and in my view a bad person. Ruth
will be my wife, I don't want anything messing that up. Look
at you , bloody pathetic woman. Oh darling you picked
a Merlot how clever of you!" Ruth had returned , he pulled her
close and they both smiled at me like couples do, Ruth with eyes
as hopeful orphan Annie Simon with a smile that made my stomach lurch.

The next time I saw him he told me the rules. Next time
I am here I will tell you them too.

Best Becka

SATC


Well I went to see it last night. It was not an
enlightening work of art but it was good light
entertainment. So there haters!

It's never going to be as good as the series for
sure. They are all too rich and pampered now. But
I still love them.

I am just wearing out the mother of all hangovers.
On saturday I went out for a meal with my ahem,friend
Ruth which turned into yet another boozy escapade. I.e
12 hr pub crawl. When I got home I was sick for about
six hours (not constantly, periodically)and the next
day felt like someone had tried to cleave my head open.
It was that bad, no solids yesterday, just liquids.
Which was sad because when I went to the cinema I wanted
to have popcorn, ice cream and the usual. I had a Dr Peppers
instead. Which I didnt like nor finish.

I'll tell you next time about Ruth and her ever loving
husband Simon.
The worse thing is he thinks I am a bad influence on
her! Me! The cheek of it. He told us that we are
middle aged women that should know better. I told him
to eat me.

Best Becka xxxxxx

Give Me Strength

SATC film is out and I feel strangely deflated.
This is because I loved the series and the film
was ok, but everyone seems to be out with the
knives this time. Whats that all about?

1./ Some people think that the story is shit
2./ Too many pretty clothes when we are in a
recession.
3./ Girls (ok ok) acting out of character
4./ Offensive to Islamic culture
5./ People are haters
6./ There is no six. Boy am I getting bored of no six.


I shall reserve judgment to the hype goes down
and people start pulling in their necks a bit.

ACT 2 Running from my arse

Ok this is totally sad but since ahem, I was
last here ages back, I have gained a little, I
mean , little, weight.

So enough with the pizzas and carrying my immense
rear around London, I have started to jog like a
bastard ! A bastard with a grudge an a hatred of
contol pants.

If I ever get laid again, I want a bum like a peach
not something resembling a bag of strained prunes.

Thats my goal lose the arse break the fast.

Blimey.

BTW I saw Alan in town the other day.

He didnt see me (luckily), I ran very fast
headlong into a terrified Traffic Warden who
thought I was attacking him.
Oh dear.
Alan looked scrummy, all silver haired foxiness.
Lush.
I looked like someone running away from her own arse.


I have to say sadly I deleted the links to all my favourite
(noticed the way I spelt that with a U?)blog sites as it's been
so long you have probably all gone now. If you are still out
there guys (and you know who you bloody well are) I will re
add you to the blog (whats left of it that is).

I guess you thought I was gone for good, so did I.
Change of heart, call it mercy, how could I let
My zero at this moment audience down?

What has happened in the last hundred years? Ok
no Alan havent seen him for two years, Alex lives
in Florida and we have lost touch apart from xmas
and birthday cards. Ruth is married!!!!! To a man!!
Sister-thing is still doing the fuzzy haired thing
and a brunette! The rest have drifted away. Mum is
still around waiting for her iron lung (only joking!)
Talking of which I havent smoked for years?

I know! Can you believe it

I can't the lure of menthols get stronger everyday!
I still see Mal sometimes love him.
What else? Oh yeah a biggie, I do not work in retail
anymore I retrained, brace yourself, as a Civil Servant!

BTW I have been celibate for 3 years just thought you
should know in case of any suggestions.

Love you long time

Becka XXX

ME-ooow


I am so sorry guys have been a miserable cow kneeling at the gates of
citalopram. No we were not washed away with the tidal surge, but on
the plus side did get a lot of exercise carrying possessions, objects and
general boy-tat upstairs.
Madbecka will resume shortly.
Thanks for caring guys, you mean the world to me.

Rainex

A WORD FROM THE WISE


Well guys I guess we owe you a mini explanation-I mean we disappear
for weeks on end, then write crap!
There is a very good reason for this-
1./We have been overcome with Snape lust because of the new Harry Potter
film.
2./A new job which includes being chastised by the general public.
3./A bit part in Transformers as a wheel.
4./A nasty caffeine withdrawal-I got a Starbucks stool stuck up my bum.
5./A visiting relative who cries all night, drools and generally screams the
house down. You can tell which side of the family he's off of can't you D?
6./I dreamt that I was married to George Roper off of George & Mildred and
he was a pimp daddy.
7./I had a haircut that very nearly made me look like Chrissie Hynde-I was
not amused.
8./I got chatted up by some carrot crunching yoik with space for dental items like
teeth. Yep I've got a way with the men folk.
9./I give up!
10./There is no 10

p.s a 1 of these is not true.
Haheha

Right and just to add the piece la resistanceI am off on hols for a couple of weeks!!!!
Must do better when I return.
Lindy, ML, Etoile, Butterfly, HB love u babies!


Rainexxx

Becka mmm

I'M NOT BITTER JUST VERY VERY SOUR


I think this is it.
I mean it.
Lesbo valley is the way to go.
No more men.
Men are evil.
Men are bad.
Bad for me.
If I could draw- you would see a big upside down face.
Mine!

Sol watched me crying like a teenage girl down the phone to my
dear sister-thing. He was rather amused.
I was bawling.
I expect Raine was holding the phone at arms length.
(I was!)
When I had finished my little rant I made Sol drive me back to
his hotel room.
Yes I was ever the optimist.
Sol staunchly ignored me and ordered an evening meal of lobster (yuk!)
Oysters (gag!) Mussels (I'm sick now) and something which could only be
described as (Eeeewww!)
And a fruit platter.
And a bottle of Cristal for me.
I phoned Mal.
He made all the right noises and sounded very sympathetic.
But he obviously wasn't going to get off his fat arse for me tonight in the
rain.
Until...........
"Oooh you should see him Mal, he looks like the perfect man, really beautiful
and his eyes so sparkly light in his face!"
"Mmm." Mal.
"Did I tell you...........he.............never.............goes.......down?"
"On yew?" Mal giggled.
"Yes sadly on me!! But himself, he's perpetually hard. He should be called
The Rock, oh no someones already called that!!!! He's so magnificent!"
I sighed.
Mal sighed.
"On mai way!" Mal hung up.
I grinned.
What could I do with a South African guru, a bisexual Scotsman and a platter
shellfish?
Please don't answer that!!!!!


Becka MartinXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

ALAN'S NOT A HAPPY GUY





Which is perhaps the understatement of the year!

I smiled at him encouragingly (although it was hard to smile

with all those tubes coming out out all over the shop)

He was too pale but his eyes burned like hot black coals.

"Bitch!" He hissed.

The twins sat either side of him, like sexy cats really, so

louche, they could lick my cream any day of the week!

They smiled at me.

Sol came in and grinned rather too widely.

"You can send him out for starters!" Shuddered Alan, the boys patted

him down.

"You'd better go mate." Said Jude apologetically.

"I knew I should have brought some grapes." Grumbled Sol, he

winked at me. "I shall wait in the foyer, lobby, whatever. I take it that

you will come for me later?"

I'd come for you anytime baby. I thought and nodded.

Sol's eerie eyes blazed, was this guy hot or what? Sexy, scary,

perpetually hard and probably a mind reader!

I turned my attention back to Alan.

"Baby." I said and kissed him, he edged away from me.

"I want you out Becka, out of my life, my head and my bed, now

this minute take your shit out of my home and just fuck off! You

nearly killed me this time, no more now. Just go."

"Alan." Said Quinn and tried to get him to remain calm.

"And you little buggers! Don't think that I wasn't aware what you

have been up to with Becka! You all treat me like a fool, but I only

give you enough rope to hang yourselves with see? You still here?"

This was to me.

"Well yeah! I'm not going anywhere you will have to have me dragged

out before I go anywhere! I love you Alan, I know I'm not the best girlfriend

in the world, but I'm funny, cute and damn good in bed." I smiled.

2 minutes later Sol watched a burly Security man (or woman) I could not tell

as they had breasts, carry me out and dump my arse on the pavement outside the

Hospital.

An Orderly laughed. "Hey love they are normally carried into here!"

"Fuck off!" I said and Sol winced.

"Sorry."He said to the Orderly:"She failed the audition for Big Brother

and it's gone to her head!"

"Shut up!" I said and started to cry, was this the end for me and Alan?


Becka M

p.s Sorry about delay and all Raine going crazy at new job etc

BOOGA booga


I sat at the back of the cab and looked at Sol, his crisp trousers
looking for the world like a veil over a snake.
"Becka cut it out." He said coolly and nodded to the cabbie who
was also intently watching me in his mirror.
Pervs everywhere!
The cabbie grinned and winked at Sol, Sol swore under his breath.
In a weird way it was the same disapproving action that Alan might
have made.
Alan!
Here was I scrutinizing a man's crotch whilst my beloved could be
dying!
Did that make me bad?
Was I evil?
Am I going to hell?
I could not resist another sneaky peek.
"Becka you are doing it again." Sol's voice was deeply irritated.
"I'm just fascinated, do you have to strap it down? Have you
ever got into trouble with it? Have you been arrested for lewd
behaviour?" I licked my top lip.
I caught the cabbie's eye in the mirror.
Poor guy he had beads of sweat on his forehead as big as peas.
"I won't tell you again, cut it out." Snapped Sol his eyes narrowed
and his forehead lined like a loaf of Mother's Pride.
Cool.
I'd pissed him off.
I love it when that happens.
"When was the last time you...." I lowered my voice (but still
loud enough for my audience to hear) ...came?"
"If you continue with this line of questioning I won't be responsible
for my actions!" Sol was livid!
Hee hee!
"Uncomfortable?" I said and squeezed his knee:"Quick BJ help yer?"
The cab driver swerved slightly.
"Hey!" Shouted Sol and hit the Driver's headrest:"Watch the bloody
road! And you... (This was to me) behave yourself or I might have to
punish your frail little frame!"
I grinned Chesire Cat styley a spank in the back of a cab was definitely
the way to go! I shivered in anticipation.
Sol looked at me in disgust.
"Tell me you are not getting off on that?" He almost pleaded.
"Uh huh." I nodded.
"Me too." Said the Driver.
"I'm going to need this Hospital at this rate!" Said Sol and turned
away to look out of the window.
My labia deflated sadly like a punctured balloon.
Boo hoo.
I looked at the cabbie, young, not bad, bit Eastern European 80's
kitch about the collar but even so:"Don't suppose you'd be up for
a bit of mutual masturbation eh mate?"
I swear we nearly went into a bus!
And no Sol didn't let me.
With him or the cabbie.
The cabbie didn't get a tip.
And we didn't buy the grapes.


With love and kisses Becka Mmmmmm

ACHY BREAKY HEART


My mobile sounded like Snow Patrol's Chasing Cars, which was odd as
it was meant to sound like San Saens Danse Macabre.
"Yus?"
"Becks it's Jude, listen Alan's in hospital, heart attack, oh Quinn wants a
word." The phone was passed, I could imagine their fingers touching
lightly, the warmth and slight roughness of their skin.
"Becka, c'mon girl we need you here." A gasp, then the phone hung up.
Shit!
I ran around the room swearing and flapping like an albatross with ADHD.
Sol caught me, held me to his chest, I could feel his smooth skin and his
erection.
"Tell me what was said." His voice was commanding. I told him viciously.
I glared at him.
It was all his fault.
"If Alan dies." I warned.
"Then he dies. With life comes death. Sometimes." His eerie eyes burned
into me with their smoke effect.
I imagines Master Skinner would have sold his soul (and his best set of ropes)
for eyes such as this. He had to resort to coloured contacts.
Sol was the real deal, though just what he was hadn't filtered through yet.
He was bona fide odd.
And it was his fault.
"Alan's had a heart attack, take me to the hospital." I commanded.
"Please?" I asked.
"I'll be your best friend." I wheedled.
"Please?" I whined.
"I'll dress." Said Sol and let his gown fall to the floor.
Something else fell to the floor as well.
My jaw.
He was absolutely perfect.
I gawped.
His eyebrows raised. "Had a good look? Want me to do a twirl or something?"
Sol teased.
"Yeah." My tongue felt thick and dry as a kebab shop's salad.
And he was still erect.
I frowned.
"Don't you ever go down?"
"No." He said and gingerly pulled on a pair of trousers, Italian and
luscious by the cut.
"Not even to pee?"
"Shut up." He grabbed his car keys. He smiled:"Do you think we
should bring grapes?"

Becka M XXXXXXXX

HELLO MY LOVERS


Well it's that time again, my birthday 20th (old- damn it) Raine's on
28th (older hehh hehh).
Do I care that I'm older?
Broadly speaking yes.
But.
Always a but.
I'm still in great nick and can go forever (if you know what I mean!)
Who gives a shit?!

Back to.....................
Waking to the smell of fresh coffee and realising I'm laying on a
bed laid with crisp Egyptian sheets (I know this as I worked in a
departments store-cheap they were not).
Sol had been insistent that I return to his hotel with him.
It was like a compulsion, a man that I didn't know taking me
to his bed, how could I resist?
No it didn't happen like that.
Alan had a bit of a funny turn and whilst the twins tried to help
their old man, Sol took this opportunity to lead me away (astray?)
He passed me the cup of Espresso.
"Take it black, good for the head." He said with a twinkle in his eye.
"I bet you say that to all the girls." I sipped the bitter brew. Yeuch,
if coffee was like men I liked mine sweet, milky and insipidly warm.
I checked him out.
He was wearing a dressing robe of a taupe colour, it went well with
his dark skin and light eyes. He looked like a shaman, (Guru-off!)
Even in my complete mind fucked state I could see an impressive
erection tent pegging his gown.
He smiled.
"It's not for you. Actually it's not for anyone, that's one thing I don't
do." He sat next to me on the bed.
"What are you one of those Tantra people?"
"I won't warrant that with an answer. You fool. Sex is for mortals ."
I looked at him:"Are there any other kind?" Sexy but damned crazy.
My luck.
"Becka just accept it, the world has an army of stiff dicks all for you,
but this one is a civilian."
"You don't half talk a lot of shit." I said.
I glared at his bulge.
Could this be a new challenge?
"Don't even think about it! Besides everything else, I'm old enough
to be your Father, so a bit for respect eh? I've travelled a long way to
see you and you are everything and more then Patrick said you would
be."
"Do you find me attractive?" I tossed my hair.
He looked me up and down, he grinned, fab teeth.
"No." He says.
Then with an irritating twinkle:"Not yet anyway."


Becka M XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

THE BEST THINGS IN LIFE ARE FREAK


Right I'll start then alrighty, this is going to be fine this is
going to be good.
Yeah, that would be a first.
I won't fill you in or start from where we left off I'll start from........
....................................................................................................................
My doorbell ringing like a drag queen screaming for make-up.
It didn't stop.
Nor was I obliged to open it when it was being rung so rudely.
It was rape of a small electric appliance.
It was a headfuck.
It was bloody loud.
And I had a hangover.
A bitch one.
Bloody Smirnoff.
Fucker.
The Lancet have said it.
Alcohol bad.
E's are good.
Or words to that effect.
Oh that bitching bloody muddy doorbell!
I dragged myself from where I had fallen unconscious on the
sofa.
Half my hair was stuck to my face.
Half was stuck up with...I smelt it, yuck BBQ sauce.
I had on my Twisted Sister T shirt!
Dee Snyder was heavy on the blue eyeshadow, but hey it was the
1980's.
Not now, I mean when I got the shirt.
Oh and a pair of faded pink pants.
Nice.
I opened the door and the guy standing there stood back, it must
have been the noxious fumes emanating from me.
Vodka and bile.
Mmmm
Just like Mother used to make.
Then it was my turn to stare.
He was black, very black and tall, taller then Alan or even that big
lox Mal.
He was dressed in a suit, very nice very P Diddy.
But older.
And stranger.
His eyes were the colour of smoke, grey and light and totally alien
in his dark face.
Beautiful.
But eerie.
If he had been younger I would have put them down as contacts.
No they twinkled with humour and recognition.
I looked at my bare legs and saw in horrible detail that they had
stubby hairs growing out like spikes on a cactus.
"Can I help you?" My voice wrecked from a night smoking my guts
out and laughing like a loon had bestowed me with Olive from ON
THE BUSES tones.
What a little star I was.
Wanker.
Me not him.
"No but I can help you."
He said in a voice so posh and cultured it took a Butler and a Maid
to get it to my eardrums.
Jehovah.
"You ain't got to save my soul, I ain't got one." I made to slam the
door in his handsome face.
His foot had managed to get in the door along with the rest of him.
"What the fuck?"
He laughed, richly, chocolate coffee and smooth rum.
"Patrick said you would be like this!"
"Dad?"
"Yes he told me to look you up."
"Who are you?"
"Soloman." He grinned and had a thrilling gap between his teeth,
nearly as cute as mine.
"And you are a friend of Patrick?"
"That and more, of course he knew me by the name of Dada So."
Fudge. Reality went out of the window, Voodoo, Hoodoo.
Crap.
My stomach lurched badly and I had to run to the loo.
Soloman followed me in and held my hair (how embarrassing!)
whilst I brought up ..............well you don't want to know really!
I was crouched there elegantly making sounds that would make
a bull hippo proud, with a strange S African holding my hair and
dressed in pants and a grubby tee (me not the African).
I chuckled deep in my chest, imagine if Alan was to see me now,
or the twins?
You know the drill!
"I guess there is a relevant explanation for this?" Said Alan, yep
he was standing there with the twins.
All looking at me like I was a Salem Witch.
Burn her!
Solomon smiled.
"I'll come back tomorrow." He moved so quickly, glided like one
of those yoga masters- yogis?
"Just who are you?" Demanded Alan.
Solomon looked him up and down and didn't even warrant him with
an answer. He just kept walking not even looking back at me.
"How fucking rude!"
The twins were laughing like drains.
"He's a friend of Patrick." I gasped dryly.
"Oh that explains everything!" Alan was fit to explode.
"Oh Rebecca, pack a bag, we are going on a journey."
"Who is this bastard?" Snarled Alan.
Solomon leaned right into his face. "I am your worse nightmare,
the man who will take Becka away forever."
He smiled.
I placed my face against the cold toilet and felt every pulse in my
body.
Alan looked bewildered.
The next second he joined me on the floor.


Becka We are back Martin xxxxx

BAH BOO BABY

Well times are a changing-who knew?

Which part of downward spiral do we not understand?


Becka Mxxxx

HEY GUYS-WHAT HAVE I DONE FOR ME LATELY?
or VALENTINE'S DIS-day

Yeah I'm back and I'm still pretty fuckable!
The twin escapade was really not worth the sense of impending doom
I seem to be left with.
Some eegit would call it guilt.
I just call it bad timing.
Valentines is here and I hope to hell Alan doesn't get all romantic on
me as I just might have to kill him.
I'm listening to The Gossip, Beth Ditto is my new fav gal. If I was a tru
gay gal I might be happier.
You tell me?
No don't-pleeze!
Just looking at that Rimmel ad with Mossy:"It's da London Look!"
Mmm be better with a black eye.
Or s copy of The Big Issue.
Alan Alan Alan, I've been faithful to you for nearly 2 months.
My pants are practically begging for teeth to take them off.
I'm going now to read some porn and eat some apple strudel.
Raine will no doubt be eating her body weight in chocolate by
now.
Missed all of u and so sorry for delay. Will try to blog at least
on a bi-weekly basis from now onwards!
Ho-hum.

Besty Becka M XXXXX

FESTIVE

Dr Hassan pulled on my jaw for all her worth, nope it
didn't click back.
The twins stood either side of me, trying to stifle their
giggles and failing miserably.
The good lady Doctor finally managed to put her hands
in my mouth and kind of re-hooked my jaw bone.
Yowch!
"Whatever were you doing?" She asked.
I shrugged and was stuffed into one of those surgical collars
that made me look like a sinister German geezer.
"Whatever you did, please don't do it again!" Said the Doctor.
"I can assure you I won't!" I snapped and glared at the twins.
Now all I had to do was go home, get back into the house
and try to explain to Alan why I was now in a neck brace.
I'll blame the peanut butter sandwich.
Easy!
HAPPY NEW YEAR GUYS! Let's hope 2007 is a pretty
do-wop year!


Becka M & Rainex XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

CRUMBS!!!!!


I am dogged (some would say a dog).
I'd come for a sandwich and I was having a sandwich.
No alternatives.
However the kind of sandwich I wanted, 2 slices of white bread,
peanut butter and a big glass of chocolate milk was going to be
replaced by 2 hot boys, buttery sex and a glass of er....well
you don't really want to know that do you?!
"Please." I said.
"Please me." Said Quinn.
"Please you." said Jude.
I was so naked within seconds and I only thought of my empty
Annie being filled with twins doing the lurve thing!
Roasted? Well not exactly as it was far too frantic for that. It was
a scrabble of sex, kisses on my clitty, breasts, bum, my mouth finding
smooth male flesh and beautiful throbbing dicks.
It was so fast, all I could hear was panting, moaning, breath on my neck,
someone kissing my eyes and stroking my hair.
My mouth filled with Jude's cock, Quinn licking my cunt and filling me
up with one smooth thrust.
"My turn!" Said Jude and he entered me as soon as he had pushed his still
hard brother away.
I grinned it was good.
Gooooood!
But I'm a generous soul, to finish I put both their dicks in my mouth at
once.
Neither was the smallest of fellows.
And yes I have a big mouth!!!
But nobodies mouth is that big and as soon as they had rasped against
eachother and filled me with er.....Christmas joy, my mouth gaped
open like the mouth of Jacob Marley.
Aaah.
Oh yeah dislocation time baby!
"Shit." Said Quinn.
"Crumbs!" Said Jude.


Becka M XXXXX

THE SEASON TO BE JOLLY


Good golly, crumbs and festive greetings!


Good Golly is the place to start:
A rather outdated expression which would have the PC brigade
wetting their cacks with it's racial connotations. I wasn't thinking
about any of that, I wasn't thinking at all.
Merely I was making myself a late night peanut butter sandwich
and a chocolate milkshake (as you do).
"Hey." Said a low voice, jumping up in shock. (oh there is a perfume
called Jump up and kiss me-I am not making that up! Go google it
if you don't believe moi!)
Curled up looking like the most gorgeous hunka hunka sex was the
lovely Jude. He was sitting in a leather armchair just wearing boxer
shorts. He was reading a copy of Mayfair (the articles are soooo good!)
He even had on the cutest Matrixy style glasses you ever saw, I
wanted to lick his eyebrows!
"OH!" I sez, standing their in my Betty Boop nightie.
Then I smiled.
He smiled back:"How busted am I?" He smirked.
"Jude you are a man, you are not busted if you want to have a wa....ah
personal time, you can do that." I sounded like a lady virgin.
"Maybe I would like to have some personal time with you." He pushed
aside his mag to reveal a rather promising tent in his shorts.
I grinned, shallow I know!
"Where's Quinn?" I asked.
"He's behind you!" Said Jude straight out of a pantomime.
"Yeah right!" I turned:"Oh shit Quinn! You made me jump you little
bugger!"
I felt all silly, shaky and vunerable, either of these boys would
turn heads, together they were dynamite!
"Didn't mean to make you jump." Said Quinn, he really meant:
But I wanted to make you come!
"Um I should get my sandwich and go back to bed."
"You should." Said Quinn.
"She won't." Said Jude.
"No I don't think you are going to make it as far as the door without
your legs shaking." Said Quinn, he looked at my nightie, my nipples
were sticking out like pepperpots!
I tried to go.
I did.
Jude stood up and placed his arms around me."Stay." He said.
"Stay." Said Quinn.
I could feel big spasms doing the judder thing.
I was acutely aware that I didn't have any knickers on.

Christmas was coming early.
And my goose wasn't even cooked yet!


Becka Mmmmm

I NEED MONEY NOW

Shriek!!!!
Christmas is just around the corner!
AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH
AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAA
HHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Seriously I won't last at this rate!

So if there is a kindly publicist who wants to make a grotty
girl happy-please apply!!
Quick we are waiting for your call!


Rainex & Becka M (but mainly Rainex-she the needy one!)XXXXXXX