SLICES

After all the excitement reality is a bit of a bummer.
I spent an absolutely quiet Christmas with Sister-Thing
Raine, it was cool being with my nephew though (at least
I had someone to talk to on my level!) But Mother kept
popping over with the lecherous Jasper- groan! She is a
woman with something on her mind. I can feel it. Ma's
brewing away like an old teapot and I don't want any of
it! She keeps staring at me and Raine, pursing her lips
and drumming her fingers like a geriatric Keith Moon.
Time will tell I guess.

In hospital after the siege I decided to visit Justine.
I don't know what I wanted to say to her, ok I did-
(thanks) but it's hard to talk to someone like her
and especially hard to be humble. I found her in a
private room (get her!) sitting up in bed like a china
doll. She looked good, if you squinted really hard
you would swear that she was alive. She was reading
Glamour mag.
"Hello." She murmured, without even looking up.
"You ok?" I said and sat down on her bed, a small
frown creased her forehead. I stood up again. Blast!
What is it with this bitch? I began to pace up and down.
"I mean, you were a heroine! Thanks-ah-thanks a lot!"
Justine looked up.
"Ok." She said.
"Angela?" I asked:"She was fab wasn't she?"
Justine smiled (she actually looked happy!).
"Yeah she was! I've never known anyone so brave."
I nodded:"She's mad about you."
"I know, she's paid for this room, isn't it lovely?" Justine
grinned, ah, now I was back on familiar territory, the
boastful, bragging version of Justine.
"It's just fine, lucky you! I'm in my own room, but it's an
NHS job!" As soon as I said that, something shifted
between us.
"Really? You do surprise me, with all your lover's
and such I thought one of those could have footed the
bill." The small curt smile was enough to make me
want to smother her with a pillow and blow air into her
drip. But it was cool, this was the relationship that we
both understood and felt comfortable with.
Why? You didn't think we were going to be best
buddies did you?!
"You don't change do you girl?" I said with genuine
affection. Justine's frown was just begging for botox.
"Hmm, just before you go I want to tell you something."
I leaned forwards, intrigued. Justine's eyes had the
sheen of spite on them.
"It was about our kisses." She purred.
Oh please God no! I'd forgotten (repressed) all of that!
"Yeah?" I said shiftily.
"I've been thinking about it quite a lot."
"You have?" I felt sick, please no more declarations of
love!
"Well..... your breath stinks!" She snorted with laughter.
"Right, I'll remember to floss." I crept out of that
room shaking my head, un-fucking-believable!

New Year was cool, Ruthie and Alex always know how
to keep the party going. A man- free New Year too,
just us girlies dancing the light fantastic in The Twisted
Gut, it's small dance floor fair worn out with our efforts!
For the first time in a very long while I felt happy,
truly happy in my skin, not relying on anyone else, just
glad to be me.

Alan? Well let us say we are talking. Every night on
the phone at least an hour. Where will it go? Nobody
knows!

Back at work I've gone back to my counter Zoey wants
to be happy but it's a bit of a bummer for her really poor
kid. I decided that the PA's position was beyond me
and working with Justine is like working with Freddie
Kruger, every day a nightmare.

So that's some of what has happened and I'm still
here to tell the tale!

Love and Stuff
Becka (bestest)Martin XXX