Pru-mental

Here I am again, manless and with a
bad case of facial hair. It must have known
that I was going to split with Alan and the
follicles thought 'go for it!'. I now have a
dark line above my upper lip, not a good
look for me.
I bought some Jolen creme bleach what
a mistake it was falling asleep! I now have
a red-but hairless moustache. I put some
nappy rash stuff on it and now it's inflamed.
Lovely. Justine's smile turned into a bloody
pumpkin grin when she saw me.
"Interesting, very shiny." She smirked.
"Curl up and die." I muttered.
But the day had an interesting twist to it,
later Pru turned up at my counter!
"Hello Becka!" She said in a voice like Miss Jean
Brodie.
"Hello Pru, um, what are you doing here?"
"Well I've come to take you to lunch my dear!
My treat."
She waited another half an hour for me to finish,
what could she possibly want from me?
We went to an Italian Bistro, I ordered a funghi
pizza, Pru had a green salad with no dressing .
"I suppose you must wonder why I want to
talk to you." She said and sipped a glass of mineral
water. I had lager myself.
"You could say that." I admitted.
"Well I was intrigued by you, wondered what
Alan would see in you. You are very pretty."
I managed to squeeze out a 'oh no!' and a half
hearted blush, but I could feel the storm growing.
"Alan is a dear man." She looked away and started
to shred her napkin, the waitress would'nt like that.
"I realised that I had made a very big mistake
letting him go like that, for a mere fantasy."
"We all make mistakes." I said guardedly.
"Indeed. But I aim to rectify mine as soon as
possible. I've decided dear, that I want him
back." Suddenly her eyes (which were a dove grey
colour) suddenly went steely.
"Well your out of luck there sweetheart, on
account that he is my fella now." I put down
my fork, it was not good to keep eating when
you are confronting a woman on a mission.
"I don't see that at all, Becka you are young,
you will find someone else. Alan is my destiny."
"Don't talk cock!" I snapped:"I'm 34 and whether
Alan is my destiny or not, he is my boyfriend at
the moment and it's up to him to split with me,
not you."
"I can see that your from the gutter." She spoke
with considerable distaste:"I've tried to make this
as pleasant as possible but it's not going to work.
You are pretty, but you don't have any of the history
that Alan and I share. You can't compete with me you
know." Her voice was part bravado and part arrogance.
"That remains to be seen, he can tell me himself."
I stood, suddenly the mushrooms on my pizza
reminded me of slugs.
"Whats with the lip dear? Collagen go wrong?"
She said with deep seated bitchery.
"Nope, it's just sore through sucking Alan's
dick all night!" I heard her gasp (and several
people from the next table).
"So it's just a physical thing between you?"
Her voice was harsh and bitter.
"Thats a big part yeah, but theres more to
it then that."
"I will have him dear, be assured of it. I
get everything that I want." She sipped her
water.
"Thanks for lunch, sorry I could'nt eat it, I
would have choked!" I threw on the table
a £20 note.
"I told you I would pay!" She snarled.
"Give it to the waitress!" I stormed out and
back to work.
"Where's your girlfriend?" Said Justine.
"She's not my friend, she's..." I was going to
blurt everything out to my enemy, then I
had a cunning plan." No, she was a talent scout
for a new show called 'I work with an areshole'
I nominated you." I grinned and watched her
smile curdle like she'd bit a lemon.
Well that cheered me up a bit. I phoned Alan.
"Are you coming home?" I asked.
"I am home." Said the curt reply.
"I see."
"What do you see?"
"I see that I've blown away another great
relationship." I felt the urge to cry, beg him
to come back.
"It's not just you, me as well. Maybe I'll come
around tonight?"
"Ok, what time?"
"I just said maybe! Ok, around 8, alright?
Got to go now, Pru's waiting outside in her car."
I felt a horrible sick feeling in my stomach.
"Alan! Don't go with her! Please!"
"This jealousy is ridiculous. At 8 right?"
"Right." I admitted defeat, now I would just have
to wait and see.
Becka