Devils Haircut.

Frig. I have ruined my life totally, this is not a
drill. Ok here goes my confessional blog, we arrived
back to my home and ate the dubious chilli sister-thing
had cooked (the Martin sisters are not known for their
cooking) and dranks some lovely lemon vodkas. For
the first time I began to see Alan as a man, I mean a man
that I might consider shagging. He was funny!( In a good
way) He seemed to like being with me.
We settled ourselves on the sofa, I'd even taken off my
boots when the doorbell rang.
"I'd better answer that." I said ruefully. Wished I had'nt
though for standing there looking devillishly attractive
was The Shit.
"What do you want?" I demanded .
He smiled that bleached teeth sexy smile of his
and I knew then and there what he wanted from me.
"I've made a big mistake Becks, I should never have
left the other night."
"Too right! I mean it does'nt do much for a girl's ego
when the guy can't even keep it up for her." I whispered
harshly (obviously I did'nt want half the street and Alan
to hear me).
"Well it's up now." He pointed to his bulging trousers.
"Wow." I mumbled.
"Alright Becka?" Said Alan leaning over my shoulder like
a giant parrot making me jump.
"Yeah it's cool, this is Jeff. Jeff this is Alan."
Jeff looked at Alan then at myself.
"Please don't tell me he's your boyfriend!" He said
incredulously. Alan looked sharply at me, I could feel
his eyes burning with anger.
"Um Alan, Alan is my friend." I said finally.
"Thanks a fucking bunch!" Said Alan, he grabbed his
coat and pushed past me. Jeff grinning like a bastard.
"Thought he could'nt be a beau. You could do so
much better." Like himself .
I saw Alan wince. I should have stopped it then but:
"Alan..." I said helplessly.
"Yeah, yeah." He said and stormed off into the night.
"Now where were we?" Said Jeff silkily and carried me
off into the bedroom. I felt bad about Alan, but
only for a second as I was much too busy after that.
It was violent man! Mad, crazy eat eachother up sex!
He held me up against the wall and rutted into me, my
head knocked a photo of my Aunt Pat it crashed to the
floor. I should have seen it as an omen.
"You are a filthy little bitch and you love rough sex!
Say it whore!"
I started to giggle but complied as it was so funny.
"I'm a filthy bitch and I love rough sex! Fuck me
harder!" Which he did making me dizzy.
"Aaaaaaaah!" It was the best, after my spell in
the desert this was like water from Perrier!
We did it doggystyle with him smacking my bum
between thrusts. Then we had a shower and finally
managed to do it in bed. That was nice, loving and
tender.
We lay there afterwards smiling at eachother like
kids (I mean big ones 16 upwards ok?) just enjoying
the afterglow.
"I've really really missed you." I admitted.
"I know. It showed." He nibbled my ear.
"So what next?" I asked.
"You want to go again you hot bitch!"
"Well yeah I do, but whats happening here? Are we
back together or what?" I bit my finger nail nervously.
He stroked my hair.
"I love your hair you know, its so soft and silky.
Estelle's looks nice, but it feels like cotton wool,
I like to feel this against my skin." He picked up a strand
and rolled it between his fingers:" We can do this
as often as you want, whenever you want. But I'm
marrying Estelle, she is my future."
"Your joking!" I said shocked and really hoping he
would turn around and say 'Yeah gotcha!' But he
did'nt.
"You can't help who you love Becks."
"You don't love her! How can you when you are doing
this to me, fucking me! You are a shit, I hate you!"
I was crying like a ninny by now, I felt dirty and not
in a good way. I felt used, cheap and nasty.
"Please don't cry Becks! I'll come and see you tomorrow."
He said earnestly.
"No don't! If you want to come back fine, maybe, but
you can't do this to me! I've been so lonely! This is
cruel, just go yeah?"
"I do love you you know."
"What a funny way to show it."
When he left I kind of had a brainstorm, I tore the
sheets from the bed and knocked books and cds from
shelves. Then I did something that women don't do.
Well at least sane ones don't. I grabbed a great hank
of my hair up and cut it off with the kitchen scissors!
Then I looked in the mirror and realised what I had
done to myself. My hair fell past my shoulders, but the
the hank I had cut out rested against my cheekbone
looking odd and moronic. I started to shake.
I cut somemore, not good. Worse.
Then the doorbell sounded. Aghast I grabbed a towel
to cover my hatchet job. It was Alan! I grabbed him
by his coat and heaved him in.
"I came because I left my mobile." He looked at me
and something about my mania must have registered
with him. He took in the chaos that was my flat.
"What did that bastard do to you?"
I felt guilty, I'm sure that Alan thought that I had been
raped or something.
"He left me!" I burst into tears and collapsed rather
pathetically to the floor. Alan pulled me up and got me
to the sofa, my towel fell off, he saw my hair.
"What the fuck? Did he do this to you?"
I shook my head:"Nah I did it."
"Why?" He stroked my face and grabbing some kleenex
from his pocket mopped up my tears and snot.
"I did it because I hate myself! I thought he had come
back! He was my love....oh Alan I'm so sorry for what
I did to you. I can't think straight anymore."
"Well we're have to do something about your hair,
you can't go to work like that, people will laugh!"
This sounded so sweet (especially from a guy with tragic
hair ) that I cried even harder.
He grabbed the scissors firmly.
"I'll tidy this up, then Ruth can put it to rights tomorrow."
He cut away , at the end I looked like Velma out of
scooby-do.
"Sorry best I could do." He winced at me:"It does
look awful though, can you not call in sick tomorrow?"

We sat in silence and ate the chocolate ice-cream.

Becka (Just call me buckethead )Martin