Alan (boxers and all things that go bump in the night)

Last night could be put straight away in the filing
cabinet that is my brain under 'W' for weird. Alan
arrived back with his long hair stuck to his face and
a monstrous black bag of clothes.
"Are you moving in or what?"
"I've only brought a few things, books, cds and
of course the manuscript that I am working on."
Ah so he was working on something, I could tell
that he was itching for me to ask him what it was all
about. So I did'nt! Ha ha!
He had managed to snag some cigerettes, booze
and even some Kentucky. We sat snuggled up on
my bed with our feast watching 'True Romance' I
love that film, I fancy the Gary Oldman character
badly. After that we watched some Red Dwarf,
Father Ted and French kiss (ditto the fancying thing
with Kevin Kline ooh lala).
After awhile, under the influence of Prince Vladimir,
Alan did start to resemble Mr Kline. I licked my lips
and it was not the chicken I was thinking of.
"So what kind of pants have you got on Alan?"
I leered. His eyebrows shot up about six foot.
"Um, black ones, boxers."
"Lets have a look at them shall we?"
"Becka! Oh very well!" He pulled off his black jeans
to reveal his long, thin legs, nice shape! The boxers
were fine, I reached out and touched the curling
hair on his stomach. He shivered.
"Don't tease." He warned.
"Would I do that?" I took off my vest top and and
my bra.
"Their lovely, really small and pert. I wonder if
I can get them both in my mouth at the same time?"
"Well, you can try!" Which he did, at that very
second there was and explosion! No and it was'nt
us, somebody had hurled something through my
window shattering the glass everywhere.
"Fucking hell!" I yelped and shot out of bed, Alan
was already at the window.
"I saw a woman with blonde hair running!" He said.
"Alan your feet!"
He looked down, his feet were mincemeat city, blood
everywhere.
"I'm not good with blood." He said weakly and promptly
fainted! What a guy!
"Oh great!" I pulled on my top (I'm just not meant to have
sex with this guy, I'll just have to face it.)
"Hello? Are you alright?"
I looked outside, the girl who lived below,
Julie or Jules as she liked to be known was standing
in our little garden patch. (And she was wearing
purple pjs).
"I'm alright, lots of broken glass, my friend's
fainted and cut his feet though."
"I'm a nurse! I'll be straight up!"
Jules patched up Alan's poor feet whilst I tried to
keep his dignity preserved with a towel.
"Are you going to tell the police now?" Demanded
Alan. Who was groggy (and rather cranky) after his
ordeal
I am indeed. A blonde huh?
Becka (not bested-yet) Martin