WEIRD TWO

I am conditioned to work on a saturday it is
the law. I go to work paint more faces then the whole
week put together and generally enjoy myself. I miss
Zoey, my life is now like a Missing Persons list. Alex,
Ruth, Alan and now Zoey-perhaps it's my fault. I'm too
keen and eager. Oh well. I slipped off the lease today
(meaning I escaped a deep and exploritory) with Angela
and headed to my nearest DIY which is B&Q. I had decided
to get blinds instead of my old withered curtains. But
it was on the way out that Weird One happened.
If you are reading my blog (which I doubt from the lack
of comments!) then you might recall and incident
involving old ladies swapping cars in Tesco's car park.
Talk about an upgrade-lose a Panda gain a Jag!
Well the very same ladies pulled up this time in an
ancient mini metro, out they got and did they shop?
No they did not, instead they strolled across to a
blood red Mercedes. What are they up to? I sat on Aunt
Pat's Vespa scratching my head, they had keys to the
car, but why do they always change their cars so
dramatically?
Answers in the Comments box please! Because I don't
know! Then I realized that Vespa's were really not the
right vehicle to transport the blinds home. Piss it.
I am strongly lacking in people with cars, Sisterthing
would tell me to shove it up my arse. I'm not phoning
Angela and could not bare to see Alan's reproachful eyes.
So it had to be The Shit. Give him his due, he only
kept me waiting and hour and a half. He looked sexy
and evil as usual, his eyes went to my hair and then to
my crotch.
"Why did you not get them to deliver it you silly bitch?"
He said kindly.
Well? Because I hadn't thought of it! Duh!
I had to ask him in for a coffee, it was only polite.
"I have a percolator now, how do you like your
beans?" I asked.
"You know how I like them-shaken, smashed and then
gently sucked through your teeth." As always his hand
was on his dick.
Trust him to make it sound rude and suggestive.
"Jeff!" I laughed, he stood behind me in the kitchen.
"I like your hair this short, never thought I would.
It's sexy, makes you look young and naughty. Are you
still a naughty girl?" His sharp blue eyes shone with
humour.
Weird Two.
"I am beyond naughty." And I told him about Angela.
"Bloody hell!" He muttered and roughly pulled down my
jeans.
"Hey! What are you doing?" I squeaked feebly.
"That's bad-definitely in need of some Correction."
He un-plugged the kettle.
"What are you up to?" I felt a bit scared, was he
going to really hurt me this time?
But I need not have worried, he un-hooked the flex
from the kettle socket and began to rhythmically beat me
on the buttocks with this. I'm blushing just thinking
about it!
"You are bad Becka! Say it!"
"I'm bad!"
"Are you loving it?"
"No!" I lied and he smacked me harder.
"I'm loving everything!" I was too!
He made a grunting sort of sound and the next minute
his trousers were on the floor. I should have said
No.
"Open up for the dentist man! I'm coming in!"
It was really good, tragic really, Jeff's a shit and
I'm a fuckwit. But it did clear the cobwebs away.
"I'm getting married you know." He said when we did
finally get around to having somthing to drink.
"Am I invited?"
"I don't think so! You can come to the Stag night if
you wish." His twinkling eyes promised all sorts.
"Maybe not, oh and thanks for helping me."
"Pleasures all mine."
Do I feel guilty? Hell Yes! I think I will phone Alan
tonight and arrange for us to talk this through.
I'm sore so I shall rest my sore bum in a cold bath and
see what happens. With Alan not my bum.
Becka