Cosy

Spent all of sunday in bed, we did not even
brush our teeth! Drank flat diet coke and
dined on Pringles and Maryland cookies.
I decided today being Bank holiday Monday,
that I should at least feed Alan. I showered,
brushed those neglected nashers and left
my prince snoring in bed.
Managed to find an open Tescos, I bought
a fresh cornfed chicken (does that mean we
don't have to have vegetables with it?) some
potatoes, salad stuff and a dreamy lemon
cheesecake. I bought some bread and milk
as well as more diet coke and vodka.
My mobile rang, it was Alex.
"Fancy a quick drink?" She asked.
"Did I ever say no?"
We met in The Twisted Gut and Big Shirl
seemed pleased to see us as we were the
only customers. Her impressive cleavage was
clad in a shiny blue basque and her roots
were freshly blondied. It could only mean one
thing, Shirl was in love again. I shuddered at the
thought.
We talked about Sean and America, I still
could not believe Alex was really leaving me.
How would I cope without her? I told her
all about Mickey Straw.
"I can't believe he's a Copper!" She laughed.
"He was such a rude and nasty little boy at
school, I assumed that he would be arrested
by now!"
"Yeah, he's actually quite a honey, but he's
married and I have Alan."
"Whoah a minute Missus! Are you actually admitting
you like Alan?" Her eyes were wide with feined
shock.
"Um, I guess I am, he's really lovely." I sipped my
drink reflectively:"I must be getting old."
Had another couple of drinks and returned
home with my shopping. Heard the distinctive
sound of Ruth's laughter as I entered.
She was sitting with Alan on the sofa
and they were watching Spaced and eating
what looked like chocolate angel delight.
"Oh there you are!" Said Ruth and pointed at
Alan:"What do you think of the new hair?"
She had been busy. Alan's hair was now very
short and feathery and she had shaved off his
goatee beard. He looked impossibly young and
not at all like my Alan.
"What have you done with his head? Give it
back!" I demanded.
"Do you like it?" Said Alan and shyly ruffled his
hair:"Ruth's been itching to cut my hair for ages
and you were so long, nice is'nt it?"
Ruth beamed, very happy with herself. It was a
good cut and it did suit him, but I really did like
his old look. I wanted the Byronic Alan. But I
did'nt want to hurt his feeling especially as he
looked so happy and Ruth seemed so proud of
her efforts.
"It's cool, it's taken years off you! I won't miss
your beard at all!" I leaned over and kissed his
smooth, bare face. He tasted of chocolate.
"What are you eating? I've bought food."
"Oh Ruth bought over a trifle, it's really nice too,
sorry I think we've eaten your share." He made a
rueful face.
"Charming!" I muttered.
"Oh lets not bother with cooking!" Said Ruth:
"My treat, I'll take you both to dinner. Becka
can I borrow some of your clothes?"
"Of course!" I said and she scampered off to
raid my wardrobe, coming back into the room
she had a selection of my tops. Grabbing a
pink top by Morgan she took of her shirt, right
there in my front of Alan, to reveal her naked
small breasts.
"Ruth for fucks sake!" I snapped.
Alan looked and looked away, I could see a
flush on his pallid face.
"Ooops sorry!" Laughed Ruth, both her and
Alex were always walking around half naked, I was
the prude of the bunch.
"What do you think?" Said Ruth.
"Al, it's safe to look now." I advised.
"Very nice." He said, but I could see he was still
rather uncomfortable. When he went to the
bathroom I turned on Ruth.
"Hey whats with the peepshow? Alan's
gone all funny now."
"Oh sorry, I forget he's not one of us, I'm
just so at ease with him. He's kind of like a
gay man." Admitted Ruth.
"Ok then." I felt strange though, the haircut
and shave, the booby show. Well it was Ruth I
let it pass. After all, I had been caught snogging
a cop!
Becka