STUPIDOG

It's no good, the lack of sleep, space and
sanity is really getting to me. I think I'll have to
take my chances with the 'postie'and go home,
not that there's been any activity in that area for
awhile. Sister-thing is lovely and so is her husband
D, Aidan is a sweetchild (apart from putting toast
in my ear) but it is the lack of privacy and Stupidog
which has made my mind up. They only have one loo which
is in the bathroom, so like:
"Becka? Aidan wants to use the loo can he come in?"
"I'm in the bath!"
"He's only 3! He's not going to look at you he just
wants to do a pee."
"Oh alright then."
Then the hell-child comes in and does the biggest,
stinkiest dump this side of an elephant!
Stupidog is the worst though, he has that name for
a really good reason. He's a myopic moron. We
found him as a stray chasing buses in the middle of
Brixton high street.
"Oh look at that stupid dog! He's going to get himself
killed!" So Raine took the daft thing home and has
had him for about five years now. He is house trained,
no accidents there, but for the best part he is hopeless.
He chews shoes, tears up the mail, never likes
going for walks much. He would much rather lay under the kitchen table eating all the wet bits Aidan drops.
Stupidog practically screams when it's time to go out.
Guess who had to walk him last night? Oh and he thinks
he's really hard, thinks he could take on a rottweiler
and a pitbull at the same time. Told you he's myopic.
In fact he's tiny not much bigger then a small Jack
Russell. Last night this guy was walking two staffies,
you know the type burberry baseball cap to cover a
lack of brain, spaced out eyes, history of GBH.
Well Stupidog really went for it didn't he? I had to
grab the foolish mutt by the throat, throw him over
my shoulder and leg it with these two staff monsters
baying like the Hound of the Baskervilles.
"You can't leave! It might not be safe! If you
must go take Stupidog with you." Said Raine.
"Sod off! He's why I'm going!"
"No I insist, I'll come around to walk him at lunch
time, so you will only have to walk him in the morning
and at night. He will be company for you."
So that's how I've managed to get home, bloody
little mutt! I have decided to phone Alan, just to
see if he's ok and to tell him about my job, new haircut
and temporary pet. God I miss him.
Becka