RAY OF LIGHT

I lay inert on the sofa drifting in and out
of sleep to the sound of TellyTubbies. BigCook
LittleCook started and I drifted into a dream,
I was riding high on LittleCook Small's wooden
spoon, suddenly something wet and squashy was
inserted in my ear. I screamed-in the dream and
real life. My bloody nephew had placed a piece
of soggy toast into my lughole!
"Hey!" I shouted.
"Oh your awake, finally, get up you lazy cow."
Said Raine and set about dressing her son Aidan
who was grinning at me with his gappy smile. I
scowled at him.
"Do you want some breakfast?"
"Nope, I've already had some toast. Coffee would
be nice though."
"Sure would, make me one while your at it." Said
Sister-thing and winked at me. I did a bit of a
double take, with no make-up on and her hair like
a birdsnest, she looked remarkably like Bette Midler.
"I'll make you coffee if you sing 'The wind beneath
my wings'." I chuckled.
"Fuck off." She said sourly.
After a fight for the bathroom, I readied myself
for work.
"When are you going to see Ruth?"
"That would be, lets see, when hell freezes over."
I sipped my drink, ugh, it already had a skin-nasty.
"You have to face her eventually. Get it all out in
the open and deal with it." She was fighting Aidan
trying to make his wavy hair lay flat, she was losing
the battle.
"Who made you the sage of south London?"
"Go and earn some money, oh and bring back some
shopping will you?" She gave me a list the length of
her arm. Great, the Vespa would probably buckle
under the weight of it all.
At work Justine stood like an Ice Maiden, any guy
shagging her would get frostbite on his gonads.
"Hello Justine, been to any nice funerals lately?"
I smiled sweetly at her.
"The only funeral I want to go to is yours." She
pursed her lips like an old catfish.
"Ooh sweetie didn't know you cared!" I simpered.
"I don't." She snapped.
"Well I do!" Said a friendly voice, turning I
saw Angela Grade, the Madonna wannabe secret shopper
spy (try saying that when your pissed!)
"Oh hello Ms Grade." I groveled.
"Angela please!" She then said that we should do
lunch one time, maybe tomorrow? I wondered why, but
yeah I agreed.
"I might have a proposition for you." She smiled
and tapped the side of her nose (which I hate).
"Look forward to it." I said, she actually blushed
which made me feel a little uneasy. But hell at least
I wasn't getting the sack.
"Becka's got a girlfriend, Becka's got a girlfriend!"
Sang Justine .
"Fuck off you!"
"Don't you know the rumours? Angela's a big lezzie
dyke, she will snap you like a twig hon!" Justine
laughed. She went off singing Ray of Light.
Hmm, well I've already got too much to worry about,
I'm sure even if Angela is gay she will not
fancy me. Anyway, who cares? Left a message on
Ruth's phone to see if I can go to see her tomorrow
night after work. When I see her I will know. I hope.
Becka
P.s Big thanks to the people who comment(honoury
fuckwits!)