SPEECH SPEECH!

The wine waiter made the fatal (and expensive)
mistake of putting down a tray laden with sherry
next to Ruth, Alex and myself. We made short
work of it and Alan muttered something about
harpies or was that herpes? Mal had eyes only
for Mickey Straw.
"Oh god he's too fine! Why is he so perfect? Why
is he not gay?"
I ignored him torn between staring at Alan who
was his gorgeous, sulky self and my magnificent
father who gave the whole affair a touch of class.
Catherine his wife gave Justine air kisses and
they screeched and trilled into eachother's faces
like demented cheerleaders. I pulled a face at
Patrick and he moved across.
"Isn't that ghastly?" He said and looked down
at Ruth who was sitting there doing a Sharon
Stone moment.
"Ruth!" I poked her hard on the forehead.
"I'm sure he's seen one before, definitely the
lezzies have." She clamped her legs together
stuck out her tongue and went in search of
booze. Patrick shook his head.
"Young women today, no grooming." He said sadly.
"I wouldn't say that, Ruth's always having her
hoo-ha groomed." He raised his eyebrows.
"Try one of these Madam?" Enquired a young
waitress. I took a proffered green topped puff
thingy and bit into it. Instant gag-a-rama! I
had to spit it in a napkin. Patrick looked highly
amused, as did the waitress.
"What the hell was that?" I demanded and knocked
back another sherry to take the taste away.
"That Madam was chilled spinach, mushroom
and tomato with ricotta cheese."
"Don't you ever give me one of those again!"
"I'll remember that." Said the waitress and went off
smirking, cow.
I felt a bit light headed then someone started to
say Speech Speech!
I looked around with interest, what fool was
going to have to speak in front of these monkeys?
Angela squeezed my arm.
"Make me proud Becka." Her eyes and her voice
had a touch of ice in them.
"Huh?" I said sipping my drink.
"They are waiting for you're speech!" Hissed Alan.
All eyes were on me and you know what?
I was pissed.
As in der-runk.

Becka Martin