WART

"I think this is going to be the wedding of the year!"
Squealed Mal excitedly. "What shall I wear?"
"Wear want you want, you're not going." I said and
sipped my expresso, wincing as it burnt my tongue.
I was sitting in Starbucks with Sister-thing and Mal,
he was perhaps the only friend of mine that Raine
liked (must have been the mad hair-thing).
"Oh that's not nice!" He exclaimed loudly.
Raine shook her head.
"Mal you go instead of me, I'd hate to go."
"Why?" We both said in unison.
"Because you (that was aimed at me) will cause a scene,
I know it, I can feel it in my bones." To make a
point she snapped the head off a biscuit.
"I would not! It is a wedding, I'd never mess it up."
I stuck out my bottom lip.
"With you mouth like that and your splint
you look a bit like Anna Friel." Said Mal and him
and Raine started snorting with laughter.
"Bastards! Raine really! I will behave, please
come." I pleaded with my eyes.
"No I'd rather sit at home and watch Countdown
and I hate that Carol Vorderman."
"Carol? Oh I think she looks dreamy." Said Mal.
"Because she's a man." Said Raine:"Can't sit here
all day talking to you fuckers, going to get D
his St Johns Wort."
"I knew a man with a wart once." Said Mal
wistfully.
We ignored him.
"He had the biggest one you ever saw." He
continued.
"Shut up!" I hissed.
"Looked like a split cauliflower." Mal was on a
roll now.
"I'm gone!" Raine kissed Mal (Mal!) and left,
I, beautiful little sister, didn't get so much as
a peck.
"We tried that Compound W shit on it and
Bazuka, but nothing worked. In the end he had
to have it frozen off at his GPs. I think he keeps
it in a matchbox."
"The GP?" I looked incredulous.
"No my friend's wart! Becka honestly, how are
you supposed to keep a fully grown Doctor in a
matchbox!" He ruffled my hair.
"Shut up!" I scowled.
"If your Daddy goes to this wedding do y'think
he'd bring Michael Portillo for me?" Mal's eyes
had a dreamy cast.
"More like Ann Widdecombe, she's more your speed
and age anyway!"
"Fuck you!"
And so life continued uneasily.

Becka M