VA VA VOOM!

It all started last night, after I had returned home to
Sister-thing Raine's, I noticed that I had two missed
calls on my mobile. It was Alex. I phoned her back.
"Alex? It's Becka, are you ok?"
"Yeah I'm fine, really good and at this moment having
a quick smoke before I go back to doing a commercial for
Pepsi!"
"Pepsi-get you! Is it a fantastic part?"
"Nah, I walk by with a crowd of girls and smile to show
my perfect teeth. Listen I wanted you because I thought
you would like to know, Alan and Pru are history! She
dumped him!" I could hear Alex's chest wheezing, too
many Marlboro lights no doubt. My own chest felt tight
for different reasons.
"She dumped him? Why?"
"Pru's gone back to looking for fresh flesh, she's dating
a 20 something, how completely sick." I could practically
see Alex wrinkle her nose in distaste.
"But you date a 20 something, Sean's younger then you."
I reminded her.
"Oh that doesn't count. Look must go and grin like a
ninny. Hope it's cheered you up anyway, poor Alan-he's
really crushed."
"Bye sweetie, thanks for telling me!"
I then did a lap of honour around the front room, kissed
D hard on the mouth, pulled Raine's hair and placed
Aidan on my shoulder like a monkey.
"Pack it in! What's happened?" Demanded Sister-thing and
saved her terrified child.
"Alan and Pru have split up! What could be as good as
this moment? I want to savour it! Do you think I could
risk going to The Twisted Gut?" I did a little dance on
the spot. D rolled his eyes and Aidan giggled.
"Poor Alan-look your going to have to play this cool,
don't go turning up on his doorstep or anything. As
for Shirl I'm sure she will forgive you, she always does."
"I'll risk it then!" I was on seventh heaven, what the
hell does that mean? What happened to the other six? Oh
well thought I better scrub up the old body and sort the
hair out! I pulled on my black leather trousers, it was
a bit too hot for them really, but who gives a shit?
A skin tight vest top in red and my hair spiked up.
I danced across to the pub, happy and hopeful again,
I had got my VA VA VOOM back and hopefully I would get
Alan back soon too.
Becka
p.s and I was still considering turning up on his doorstep!