HE SAID...

Well I've officially turned into a muppet, how could
I be so stupid? I turned up at Alan's house dressed in a
black shift dress and fuck-me pumps that were beautiful but
were killing my feet. I'd blow-dried my hair and slicked
it behind my ears, I hoped that I looked a little like
Audrey Hepburn. I bet I didn't. I carried a bottle of Absolut
vodka as a peace offering. He opened the door and wow he looked like shit! I'd been waiting to see him for so long and he made a tramp seem classy! Alan's hair stood in greasy little twists, he
had a Fred Flinstone chin and his eyes were red and watery.
He was wearing a faded grey sweatsuit that looked none too
clean (personally I wouldn't greet the bin-men in that get-up!)
and on his feet were horrible holey socks. Nice touch.
"Hey Alan!" I gave him my sharpest smile, he glared at me.
"Becka. What are you doing here?" He made no move to let me
into his house, I felt like a Jehovah's Witness.
"Well, I heard that you and Pru had split up and I thought
that you could use some company. I missed you." Gave him
that killer smile again.
"Oh you did? Yes she breezed into my life and wrecked it
again. And now you." His eyes narrowed bitterly.
"I just thought we could have a drink and a chat. Nothing
heavy." My smile was a bit droopy now.
"Well the last thing I need in my life is you Becka and I
certainly don't need any alcohol considering I've been on a
massive binge for the last week." He had a wildness to him
that I had never seen before.
"Well we don't have to drink. Maybe I could make you some
supper, or phone for a pizza? Are you going to let me in
Alan?" I sounded a bit squeaky and desperate now. He looked
me up and down.
"No. I don't think I will, thanks for coming round and if I
ever need a shag, I'll call you. Goodnight!" He slammed
the door in my face!
My heart was beating in my chest like a drum, I looked
around to see if any of his neighbours had noticed. They
had. I could see the curtains twitching away. Shit.
Especially the 'If I ever need a shag' part. That burned me.
It really did.
So that was what he thought of me-just a slag I guess. I'd
show him slag! I walked to the cab office with my feet aching
and my head ready to explode. I'd show him something! Right-
so where was that nightclub THRUMZ that Jeff had taken me to
ages back? Did it still exist? It better bloody well had-
as a good S&M session is what I need now.
Becka