Spankie.

I really woke up feeling like I had to have a
man and now! Ruth had'nt called me, I checked the ,
clock 5.30am, almost night still. After a moment of doubt,
conscience struggle (whatever) I phoned The Shit.
Yep, I had sunk that low, I was calling Ex's for Sex's.
The phone rang and rang, he must have been doing
what normal people do, sleep, then:
"Hello?" The voice was sexy and husky, the bad part
was it was female (fluffy blonde styley). I was shocked!
What could I do? The usual bullshit.
"May I speak to Mr Jeff Sanders please?" I said in a prim
and clipped voice.
"Can I ask why are you calling so early and who
are you?" Came Estelle's sharp reply.
"My name is Joanna, ah Jo . ah Joanna Smith, um
Joanna Smith-Perry. I'm calling because I've just had
a smear test and it turns out I have , um crabs."
This sounded gibberish even to my own ears.
"Whats that got to do with Jeff?" She demanded.
"Well um, I thought he might like some as he's
partial to seafood. Put him on I have'nt got all day!"
I let my voice slip into it's usual cockney scrawl.
"It's Becka, is'nt it? Justine said you were a vicious
mad cow and now I know it too! No you can't speak
to Jeff on account that he's asleep." Then she hung
up on me! Rightly so really, I'm a nutter.
Phoned Alan up.
"Yep?"
"Thats not the way you answer the phone!" I boomed.
"Becka, why are you phoning me at this time? Are
you ok?" He sounded concerned. How Sweet.
"Are you dating Ruth?" Right it was brusque and
to the point, but I had to know. Now.
"Ah, I see, no, not really. Why?" He sounded interested
though, I could practically see him smiling.
"Because how quick can you get around here?"
" 10 minutes? You want me to?" He sounded excited
too.
"Yeah, I've been a bad girl, I need some correction."
I simpered (yeah it sounded really silly, but I did feel
pretty horny). "Any good at spankies?"
"Bloody hell! I'm on my way!" He put down the reciever.
I sat waiting for him, then mysteriously it was 8.15! I'd
fallen asleep! Oh god, I did'nt even know if he'd come
around or what! Shit! Spanky? He'd probably hit me
with a shovel! Aw no!
Becka