Bloody, awful, stupid.

These are words. They are my life. Today (The Shit)
came into our shop with Lil Miss Braindonor hanging
off his arm like a bogey. She squealed when she saw
Justine and the two embraced and kissed like (I don't
know what like-but I did not like it) and they made
funny little squealing sounds like castrated mice.
The Shit saw me of course and as his girl was busy,
he sidled across to my counter.
"Interest you in some foundation Sir? Cover those
unsightly pockmarks a treat." I said nicely.
"Um I think not Becka, how have you been?" His
piercing blue eyes, Hugh Grant blue, still managed to
make me feel like I was a dirty girl (which I was).
"Oh fine, not too shoddy." I said briskly: "So that is
Estelle, nice-for a gerbil."
"Can I detect a tad of jealousy there?" He teased, he
looked so selfish and smug, I wanted to scratch his
face and spit on his shoes.
"Maybe a bit. But just a word of advice Jeff, people don't
say 'tad' anymore, because it's irritating and it's 80's."
I smiled at him. I noticed the two blonde harpies were
looking at me. "Hello ladies!" I said and winked at them.
"You are a bitch Becks." Said The Shit very loudly, he
leaned forwards and whispered:"But I still find you very
sexy, I'll call you."
I felt and unwanted throb in the knicker area, quickly
replaced by a sharp pain in the head. What an arsehole.
"Estelle, we have to go my lovely, catch you later
Justine."
As they left The Shit gave me a smouldering look which
burnt holes in my Wonderbra. The look was not lost
on Justine.
"What are you up to?" Her face was scewed up as she
scrutinized me.
"Uh don't look like that Justine, you look like a foreskin!"
"Think your clever don't you?" She hissed furiously.
"No, not at all." I said with honesty:"But then compared
to you I'm Carol bloody Vordeman!"
"I'll complain about you." She turned on her kitten heel.
"Won't be the first time." I mumbled, but really she
was moaning about me to 'The Management' just a little
bit too much. At this rate they would notice I exist.

Phoned up Ruth when I got in, she said that she was
in a rush and would call me later. I might be paronoid,
but she sounded distinctly pissed off with me (not to
mention pissed) what had I done there I wonder?
I resisted the temptation to phone Alan. So will spend
another spinster even in, watching telly, masturbating,
eating chocolate, watching BigCook LittleCook (no that
bit was a joke). I thought of The Shit, he was a bad
boyfriend, but there were other things he could do pretty
well. Things that I had missed, things that I needed.
Uncomfortably BeckaX