Goodbye Alan.

When the police came it gave us time to leave, as
the clubbers were milling around and dropping various
smokes, pills and packages on the floor. We hustled
Poor old Alan out and poured him into a cab.
"Don't you think that someone should go with him?"
Demanded Ruth.
"Well." I said :"Are you volunteering?"
Ruth squinted at me.
"I'll go with him, is that ok? You don't seem too
bothered with him?" This was Ruth hedging her
bets as to whether she could shag him or not.
"Permission to land Ruthie-girl." I waved them off,
do you know I got a funny sort of pang in my belly,
like I had done the wrong thing. I shook my head,
I did'nt fancy Alan, he was cool (in a really nerdy way)
but he was not boyfriend, or even one-night stand
material. Ruth was better for him. She was little and
cute, did'nt eat too much food and she was'nt mad.
Alex and Sean came back to my place where they
finished off a bottle of vodka and laughed at pictures
of Sister-thing and myself as children. Alex laughed
loudly, until I brought one of the hidden shots I
possessed of her 70's afro. Well she was a kid but it
was no excuse! She gave me a Medusa glare and went
to powder her nose (or something).
"Becka, you are so lucky to have friends from way
back, I don't have anyone." Said Sean then bless him,
started to cry, which was cute, then a bit disconcerting.
Alex came back into the room. Looked at us both in
disbelief, she'd only been gone a minute.
"What have you done to him?"
"Nothing, must have been the photo of your
hair, went to his head." She glared at me and
comforted her gorgeous (but cissy man). I
watched them kiss and Sean smile at her through
his tears. I was the loser here, I did'nt have
anyone! Even Sister-thing is married off.
I wondered how Alan and Ruth were fairing, I
was itching to phone her up.
"We're leaving now." said Alex and kissed me on
both cheeks." Good night huh?"
"Oh yeah, terrific." I said sarcastically.
"Well I think it's good. Sean has told me that
he loves me! What could be better then that?"
Her eyes sparkled with excitement.
"A tax return? No you win, what could be better!
I'm really happy for you Al, he's nice."

Later though I started sulking, if my bottom lip stuck
out any furthur I would have carp fishermen trying
to land me. I had to get a grip. So I ate a whole tub
of ice cream. Which really helped as I had such a
guts-ache that it took my mind off everything.

Spent all of sunday, just slobbing, bit of a waste
really but it was cold outside. I must find out what
occured with Ruth and Alan, just to get it straight
in my head. Sister-thing came around with Aidan,
my 3year old nephew, who likes to jump on my head.
He had brought with him a taped copy of BigCook, Little
Cook. I had just got those guys out of my head as
well. Blast, more "Go Small, Go Small!"
Becka (Saddest)