MEN ARE FROM PENIS WOMEN EAT MARS

"We could stay ye'know." Said Mal:"At mine,
not face the music, talk, chill and shag like
bunnies!" His large handsome face devoid
of make up was like a movie star only bigger
and less shiny.
I gave him what Miss Pollard would call an
evil.
Being a bloke he was oblivious to this.
Alan being a prick, was not.
"Well you two can do what you want, I'm
going back to London." He managed to
curl his lip just so, in that way that made us
feel like extras from Goldie Looking Chain.
"Yes I want to go back." I turned to face Alan:
"I doubt that we will see eachother again, this
is way too messy." This was the end, really
really!
His eyes flashed angrily:"How dare you? I make the
rules now! You've led me by the dick for
nearly two years and in this time you have been
a foul and damaging influence. You Becka Martin
are a very dangerous person!"
"Get yew Prince Charming! Why don't ye jus'
marry the hin? Get on with it!"
Mal gave me his dazzling smile full of shit
and sincerity. "If aye liked pussy, yew would
be the one hin."
"Well thanks a fucking bunch." I lit a cigarette.
"I feel sooo much better now."I glared at him:"You
liked my pussy just fine."
"Sometimes I really think I hate you." Said Alan,
either to me or Mal but who cared as neither
was listening. We were eyeballing eachother like
Crystal meth-heads.
But as usual one of us weakened and grinned
like an ape. That would be me.
All I could think about was Mickey Straw, God
he would kill me this time.
I phoned Angela for some gentle clarity.
"Stop shrieking." Was the first thing I said to
her. "Shit." Was the next.
"Problems?" Asked Alan with all the warmth
and charisma of Jack Dee.
"No, just lesbian stuff, no biggie." I lit another
menthol.
"Just Ruthie is off the wall again and this time
she has taken Justine for the ride. Literally."
"What?" Said Alan.
"Just wait to you hear this!"

Becka M