WOOD-WET AND DRY PART ONE

Have you ever driven to Scotland with a Drag Queen,
a Witch, a Cadaver and a pissed off boyfriend? No,
neither had I until recently.
I'd call it brisk.
Yes definitely brisk.
Like cold water chucked in your face.
Alan was certifiable by the time we had reached Mal's
lodge in Inverness.
He fell out of that car and crawled pathetically along
the rough shale path.
"Get up!" I shouted.
"I'll have you know that I'll never be able to do the
Rumba again!" He groaned bitterly.
"I'd love to see you Rumba." Purred Mal and helped
Alan to his feet. He had car-legs, you know when
they don't work properly after a long drive.
Cars, don't make them for long legged folk, I guess
they think we can walk everywhere. Short arses,
hate them. Oh sorry Raine!
I helped Catherine get Patrick into his wheelchair,
he still wasn't quite back yet, his mouth was open
but he seemed to be breathing better.
"We look like a careparty!" Laughed Mal, he had a
point, Alan held onto his arm glaring like a male
Medusa with his unruly hair blowing every which
way.
Very heroic.
Unruly hair, should be in a Harlequin book really.
Alan would fit.
Mal wouldn't, mind you Mal wouldn't fit in Sex and
the City, the dirty boy!
I could still feel him inside me, wooden and slick,
my own personal Maypole.
"C'mon pur-leaze! Let's see what the Auld shed is
like now! Hopefully it is still dry."
Shed was not the word, it was lush, thick sheepskins
on the floor, leather sofas, spotlights, a stainless steel
kitchen and an outdoor hot tub!
"It'll do." Conceded Catherine.
"Oh Aye am pleased!" Said Mal with deep sarcasm.
I think we were all happy that it was in such good
condition, it was more then I had hoped for.
Trouble was there was only one bedroom which
Catherine and Patrick bedded themselves down in
faster then the speed of light.
We would have to sleep in the lounge-cum-diner
as luckily the sofa could turn into a bed.
I'm going to have a look at the water." Said Alan and
strode off with the torch towards the loch. I just
nodded foolishly, truth was I could hardly look at him,
he was the best, my main man, my boo and my honey,
but I still needed more.
He was not enough.
For me.
I was alone with Mal for the first time since
our encounter. He beamed like a naughty schoolboy.
"Mal, you know what we did was bad, you are
gay, well at least I thought you were!"
"Aye am gay! Did you think your slick little
pussy, silky breasts and firm arse would
change the direction of my cock?" He looked at
me challengingly. I gulped, what could I say.
"Well, yeah ."
Mal threw back his head and laughed.
"Oh Becka what are we going to do with you
hinny?" His warm hands reached for me and
were soon inside my jacket.
"What do you want to do with me?"
"Turn around." He commanded.
I was about to take it like a man.

Becka M