GRIMM TIMES

Today was the kind of day that The Brothers Grimm
would have approved of. Dark, moonstruck people
(not Cher too hairy) scary old ladies and wolves.
Moonstruck would have been me-this was because
Ruth decided, hey let's make Becka homeless again
and also break every Motorhead CD she possesses
into smithereens (what a cool word). How they shone
in the gutter. Oh and my clothes, what clothes? Ruth
had gone into frenzy mode and hacked them up with
her hairdressing scissors.
"Sorry." She said and smirked:"I still want you out,
but I went too far with the clothes." She admitted.
"So you are going to replace them?" I said as I retrieved
my toothbrush from a bar of Imperial Leather.
"No."
"Just great Ruth!" I snapped, I began to look for
the keys for my Vespa. "Keys Ruth." I said through
gritted teeth.
"Oh your keys are down the drain outside Geoffrey
Chaucer School. The bike is in the Ching!" She
laughed.
Aunt Pat's Vespa!
"I'll kill you!" I screeched and wrestled her to the floor.
2 minutes later she was on my back with my arm
being broken slowly. I could taste the carpet.
"Whose the daddy?" She said madly.
She was of course. I had nothing!
Before I left she gave me a letter. It was a letter of
dismissal from Angela and my severance pay.
Shit. No job, no place to live. No clothes, no bike and a
soapy toothbrush, could the day get better? Well at
least Mr Howard resigned.
I phoned Patrick.
"Hard luck." I said like the hypocrite I am.
"Hmm." He said aware that I couldn't give a toss.
"Mr Howard is a bit of a Big Girl bad loser isn't
he?" Had to be said, rude not to.
"It's just our way, but I suppose it was rather
dramatic. How are you?" I could tell he was peeved!
I told him (some of it) and tried to laugh. Didn't work,
hopeless blub bubbles came out instead.
"Where will you go?" He said with some concern.
"To Ma's I think, I'll be fine."
"Do you need any money?"
"No." I said firmly, he was too new in my life for
that.
"If you need anything...." He trailed off, I heard a
woman laugh in the background."Phone me."
He finished.
So I went to see Ma, why you say did I not go
to Sister-thing Raine's? Because D had a toothache
and men like D who say nothing are the worst
when poorly. Alex and Sean were still shagging
like rabbits and Mal was also too new in my life
to impose. So Ma's it was.
Here's where the scary old ladies come in, seen
Ma? Then you will know. Makes Joan Crawford
look dead cuddly.
"Wotcha want?" She said with all the love of a
mother crocodile.
"I want to stay." I said:"I've nowhere else to go."
"What about that poncy boyfriend of yours, Eric."
"Alan. No." The last thing I wanted was to show
up at his bare arsed and desperate.
"Come in then."
Jasper, perverama himself sat like some kind
of perma tanned Michael Winner, he grinned
showing his gold eye teeth.
"Missed you Becks." So there was the wolf.
"I haven't got anything to wear in bed." I
admitted to Ma later.
"Here you can have this." She said and gave
me the kind of nightie that would make a
porn star blush. Short, red, far too big in the
breasticle department for me.
"Lovely." I said weakly.
"Very lovely." Said Jasper and licked his top
lip.
Do you think if I scatter breadcrumbs I
might find my way home?

Becka M