TRA LA LA LA LA

There is something peculiarly British about sitting
in a fetish club wearing leather trousers. I sipped my
drink through a straw and looked intently at Skinner,
this was to make him feel bold and Masterful (also I
had to do less talking-so less likely to put foot in it).
"I can't believe that I'm actually sitting here with
you." Says the bald and very lovely one.
"Me neither! Not exactly a couple are we?" I grinned
my best kick-ass smile at him. He frowned.
"What do you mean by that?" What did I mean.
"Uh, it's just I'm so normal and your a...I mean you
are so different. I'll shut up a bit." I blushed furiously,
Alan always loved me when I blushed, thought it was
funny a woman in her thirties could still be
embarrassed. Skinner continued to scowl away.
"Oh I see! You think your better them me but really
you are just a vanilla girl who likes to play spanky!"
He grinned to reveal those vampiric incisors.
But he had a point.
"I don't think I'm better at all! Normal yes." This was
rapidly going down the pan.
"We use the word vanilla, which means plain." He
sipped his lager.
"But vanilla has a delicate flavour and if you get the
real stuff, it can be quite exciting and intoxicating."
I urged.
"I'll bet!" Said Skinner and I was suddenly aware
that we were not talking about food flavours at all.
"Would you like another drink?" I asked.
"No Becka, I buy the drinks, you just sit there like
a good sweet girl." Off he trotted. Hundred years of
feminism down the swannie. Still it gave me time to
look around the bar, as usual the Goth crowd was
in full force. The fetishy ones with nipple-rings etc
A few vanilla people and..........Jeff! I nearly gagged!
The other end of the bar he sat 'The Shit' in all his
glory. When Skinner returned he could see that I
was staring.
"Oh Him! All the girls like Jeff!" Skinner laughed.
"I can imagine." I said dryly.
"Which is really very odd as he is the gayest guy
ever." Skinner added.
"No way! I have to admit I know the guy, infact we
were together for many years. He is a womanising
git but an arse-bandit he aint." I said firmly.
Skinner raised his non-existent eyebrows.
"Oh really? Hmm, well I've slept with him myself,
you would think that I would know!"
Bloody hell-the ground I stand on is shaking again.
Becka Martin