LEATHER OR NOT

"If and I mean if I was really desperate and had to
shag someone of the same sex-then it would have to
be Gwen Stefani." Said Alex in a tone that inferred
Gwen was just waiting for her call.
"Hmm, still Skinner is not exactly Jeff's type is he?"
Said Ruth. Obviously Alex and not met the bald and
lovely one so comparisons could not be made.
"I don't know, he has a pulse doesn't he? Nothing
would surprise me after seeing him with Estelle."
I said bitterly, really though this should not burn
me so badly now. I was a big girl, with long, shiny
hair and I had a great bum.
"Please Becka do me a favour-don't wear your
smeggy leather trousers tonight!" Said Alex.
"Yeah, she's right! Try to be not so obvious."
Said Ruth.
"Fuck you both! I'm not obvious-no nipples or
pubic hair in sight at all!" I snarled.
"Let me be your dresser." Said Alex:"Ruth will do
your hair and you can do your own make-up under
our supervision of course."
I rolled my eyes, but it was a losing battle with
these bitches. Alex dressed me in a really mad
Versace dress that was slit passed the navel and
because of the sheerness of the fabric-I would have
to go commando. If I bent forward (at a funny angle)
you could see my Hoo-Ha. Ruth back-combed my hair
furiously and for one worrying moment I looked
spookily like Robert Smith from the Cure. I need
not have worried. She tamed it down, plaited the back
and made it into a very sophisticated floppy bun-
kind of Miss Marple but kicking! I finished the job
with shiny, sticky lipgloss in mauve, grey eyeshadow,
false eyelashes and a pair of of ahem-Jimmy Choos,
but ssh about that! For a coat I wore a really bizarre
chain-mail cardigan thingy Alex had nicked from her
last shoot.
"It was medieval with nipples." She explained.
Then I was ready, far from Cinderella, more like Lily
Savage, but startlingly different.
"Thanks girls!" I said and air kissed them.
"Be careful." Warned Ruth.
"Screw that! Have fun Becks!" Laughed the more
crazy Alex.
"I will!" I said. After all when did I do anything else?
My cab was waiting which was cool as I did not want
to wait on the streets of London in this get-up. I
caught the eye of the cabbie several times on route,
but he said nothing. I expect he'd seen it all in his time.

I reached Thrumz and before I could get out of the car
2 people got in. Eeek! No worries-only Mickey Straw
and GirlCop (who was fetchingly dressed in civvies).
"Very nice!" Said Mickey, who had already noticed
my slit (not that one)the one on my dress!
"Listen Becka." Said GirlCop:"Your targets have
already entered the premises."
"Huh?" I said.
"Dozy! Jeff, Estelle and Dead Girl! Wake up! Now go
in and buy them a drink!" He slipped me a fifty pound
note.
"I don't want your filthy cop money! Are you sure this
will be enough?"
"Get out the car!" Barked Mickey, I had to scramble
across his knees (very nice) then they drove off in my cab.
I suppose they had to pay for it hee-hee.
I entered Thrumz having to stump up the £15 entry fee,
shit, I looked around, weirdos, perverts, goths, all there
and correct only no 'targets where the fuck were they?
Becka Martin