UGLY NASTY RUDE ON A MONDAAAAY!!!

Mondays, love or hate them-you just can't stop them. Do I
have a problem with them? Hell yes! Today? Hell no! Because
today I capered into the office much like a spring lamb (but
prettier and less woolly). This was because 'I HAVE THE POWER!',
the power being, of course over my arch enemy Justine of the
undead and my fat, lesbian boss Angela Grade (who has a great
son). I sat there dressed super cool in a market bought suit, if you
squinted a bit, you might even think it was Prada.
I sat on my chair, swivelled around a bit, because you can do that
with a swivel chair (duh?)and waited for my lovely boss and her
bleached out hench-thing to make an entrance. See? I was even
early. When Angela finally made an appearance, I could tell that
she hadn't been sleeping well. Dark eyes, unkempt hair, pattern of
the pillow on her cheek.
"Hi." I said brightly which she ignored, how rude! A couple of
minutes later blondie crept in, eyed me the way you would a
cowpat and sat at her desk. Three silent women. Um not for long.
"Does anyone want a cup of tea?" I said.
"Not for me thanks." Said Angela.
"No." Hissed Justine through gritted teeth.
"I don't blame you-it can really make you go to the loo!" I burst
out laughing and fled up the corridor cackling wildly like an
escapee from the Happy-farm.
But like it or not, I did actually have to go back to that office,
now tell me why I can't make wisecracks at the end of the day?
Because I'm a moron, that's why.
My luck had also run out, Justine collared me in a corner.
"You! Will you cut this stuff out?" She snarled, showing acres
of teeth and quite a bit of saliva.
"Ah come on Justine! If it were me, would you leave me
alone?" I grinned at her, one day (and- it's coming) this bitch
will bust me wide open!
"No-but it's me and you've forgotten that your boss, is
actually my girlfriend! So you had better behave." She
smiled right back, about an inch from my face, if I licked her
nose I wondered, would she back off? Or just headbutt me.
Probably the latter.
"What is the deal with you and Angela? There is no fucking
way you are a lezzie, your like me girl-straight with a
few interruptions. It's for the money isn't it? Angela's paying
for some top Doc to bring you back to life."
"Shut up! I do like Angela and no, I'm not a 'lezzie' as you so
coarsely put it. I do what I want to do, your'd best stop all this
piss-taking." She closed her eyes in exasperation at what she had
said, I stifled a giggle. "I mean this constant teasing, or else
it will be worse for you." She jabbed and incredibly sharp finger
into my chest, it bloody well hurt!
"Are you threatening me?" I could not believe this small creature
could try to intimidate me, all six foot of it and succeeding!
"That's right, I might be small, but you cross me and I'll have
you." Bony appendages were removed, I could breathe again.
"Ok." I said.
"You just remember." The tilt of her head was angled with
smugness!
"I'll try to remember not to piss you off!" Then I legged it back
to the safety of Angela's bosom.

Becka