SKINNER'S MUSE

"I don't think so." Said Grady:"This woman with
you. End of story." God I hated it when he talked
black.
I began to sweat (well it was hot) and I hoped my
deodorant would hold out. Bad enough dying but I
did not want my epitaph to read:Brave little bugger-
but she stinks.
If I was dead it would be stank I guess.
Shit.
I smiled at Skinner:"I hate you." I said sweetly:"And
you are a lousy shag!"
Neck tittered briefly, Skinner glowered.
"You wait." He said:"Wait and see what I'll do to you,
you will be begging for a shag!"
"I was begging for a shag when I was with you! That
will tell you how little I was getting!"
"You bitch!" He fumed.
I looked at Angela.
"What are we going to do?" She said.
"I don't know yet, but don't worry, something always
turns up, it always bloody does!"
"Maybe your luck has run out." Said Grady.
Maybe it it had........
They walked us through the crowd, people dancing,
kissing, getting drunk and pulling nipple rings. A
happy lot.
We must have made a grim spectacle, Angela being
restrained by her arms by both Neck and Grady
and me, well Skinner had his arm tightly around
me, we must have looked like and ideal couple.
They pushed us through the bar and behind to the
notorious Club Exit where all your fantasies can
come Pru.
Shit.
I could hear Angela praying, not I hasten to
add to any Christian God, no she was mumbling
something Jewish sounding, so I guessed she
was into Kabbalah now. Then so was Aleister
Crowley. Pray faster, I urged in my head.
Skinner suddenly shut the door to the hidden
club and dragged me off down the hall into a storage
cupboard.
"This is where you will learn to be my woman."
He said in his lispy, affected voice.
"Shove it up your arse!" I said.
He punched me very hard in the stomach doubling
me over.
"Why fight destiny? You are my Muse, my queen,
but you act like a gutter-mouthed slut! I love
you more then any woman, more then Jeff and he
was sublime, but you throw it in my face! You
must learn humility and I will be your Master."
He began to roughly pull my clothes off, I still
could not fight, my arms felt like lead.
I was soon naked and sticking to the filthy floor,
I could feel little sharp bits scratching my soft skin
and I could swear that Angela was screaming in
the background.
Something about figures.
Didn't make sense.
Skinner flexed his belt and thrashed my legs
twice before I could yelp, then brutally across
my face. Yep, my fucking nose again!
I curled into a ball of pain, was this it then?
This stupidness brought about because of my
big mouth?
"Turn over, this is going to be nice." Cooed Skinner.
Mutely I obeyed, inside my head over and again
think think think!
But nothing, no epithany, no bolt of lightening,
I couldn't rely on lateral thinking.
No this had to be freestyle.
I smiled at Skinner:"Come and have a go if you
think your hard enough dickweed!"

Becka M

RUN BECKA RUN!

While everyone stared at me posing like a prat,
Angela was getting the upper hand of Neck-indeed
she was straddling him!
Could not help notice Neck had a big ole grin on his
face and an even bigger erection.
"Get you!" I said and kicked Skinner in his tight trousers!
No reaction.
No change there then.
"You are going to learn discipline if I have to pull your
pants down and fingerfuck you here in front of
everyone." He hissed like a viper.
Put like that......
"Run!" I said and grabbed my lovely Angela and we
flew in the way only a tall gangly girl and a tall
over-weight girl can fly.
Slowly.
Even Grady caught up with us.
"You foolish bitch." He admonished.
"You fat bastard." I said.
"I am an important woman! I can sue!" Warned
Angela.
"Angie." I whispered:"They don't care hon, really
they don't."
"Oh dear." She said.
Skinner lashed out with his belt, in another life when
I was queen pervy of the perveramas this would have
excited me no end.
But I was not in the mood to be made into a display
piece.
"Hey guys." I looked at Angela, she was trembling and her
soft flesh made delicate little rippling motions."Let the
big girl go ok? I'm the one you are pissed with......"
So noble and so young!

Becka M

KUNG FU FIGHTING


'Those guys were fast as lightning and it was a little
bit frightening.' (Which was understatement of the
year!)
Right, Angela looks a bit shaken up, I guess her imagination
was working overtime. Us dainty ladies and those big
bruisers.
I grinned at Grady again and like my mouth was on a
compulsion to get me killed I said:"What you going to do
about it?"
Grady's eyes looked like they were going to implode
or something.
"You are a crazy bitch!" He yelps in an amazingly squeaky
voice.
"Tell me about it bebe!" I said like Austin Powers.
"Becka please!" Said Angela and gripped my wrist tightly.
I took the small plastic penis from her and threw it in
Skinner's face.
"That's a spare for you love!" I quipped, his eyes behind
their contact shields were hidden. But a bead of sweat
dripped onto his lip. If you forget the dick part he was
one sexy motherfucker for a baldie.
But I couldn't.
Forget the dick part that is.
Neck laughed, Grady and Skinner both eyeballed him.
"Sorry." He said quietly, I winked at him.
"For a criminal Neck you are a pretty cool guy, why
do you hang with such dead beats?"
Neck made a movement towards me and Angela
took this to be an attack, next minute she is wrestling
him down to the floor.
Oh dear.
This was signal for me to go beserk.
I lifted the small table and tipped it over,
covering Skinner and Grady in cream and
strawberries (nows there's a thought!)
"You fucking bitch!" Shouted Grady and threw
a punch, but being that his arms were on
the short side, he missed me.
"Oh I'm so scared!" I said in a sarky voice, I
really was though!
"You are going to die!" Bellowed Grady:"Yow!"
He shouted, Angela was biting his ankle.
Shit!
Skinner looks at me and takes off his belt
slowly.
"I'm going to give you the beating of your
life Becka." He said quietly.
This was not going good.
Where was Jackie Chan when you needed
him?
I slowly raised a foot, everyone looked at
me, it was like time stood still.
My arms raised into the warrior pose
stolen from Sister-thing's Yoga book.
I made a deep low sound in my chest which rose
like a bird into a fearsome: "Aaaaaaaahhhhhh!"
Everyone looked at eachother.
"She nuts." Said Neck.
Not wrong there eh?

Becka M

PIGZ OR ALL THINGS BACON


"Yea'aah!" Says Missy Elliott in my head:"This is a
one time Missy Elliott exclusive!"
But it wasn't, it was just Angela tapping me lightly with
a plastic penis to get my attention.
"I think that champagne challenge might have been ill
advised, look the pigs are coming over."
I looked and like a scene from Dawn of the Dead, Skinner,
Grady and Neck ambled towards me.
"Brains!" I shouted loudly.
"What are you like?" Said Angela but she laughed.
"What's so funny ladies?" Said Grady, he made ladies
sound like bum fluff or maybe used toilet tissues.
"Funny?" Says Angela: "Maybe the prices of these
cocktails, they are extortionate!"
Grady smiled charmingly at her:"I did not mean you
Miss, you I meant". He nudged me with his foot.
"Cat got your tongue?" Lisped Skinner, his eyes glittering
manically.
"Maybe it has, Grady's got yours, it's up his arse you
fuckwit!" I turned away and saw Neck restrain
Skinner.
"I asked you a question, what were you laughing at?"
Grady had that false Jamaican accent that he used to
intimidate lesser mortals.
Like me.
I grinned (the one he hated) and winked ruefully.
"I was just thinking what a fool Alex was to let
you go, I mean a man like you!
What was she thinking to throw it all away for a
super sexy actor rising up on the fast elevator of
success. When she could be hanging here with the
homies watching people who really shouldn't squeeze
into man-made fabrics. Strange huh?"
Angela bit a small paper parasol in half in a desperate
attempt to stop herself laughing.
I looked at Grady.
And froze.
The man was red and sweaty like a rack of bacon,
something was cooking.
Pressure cooking.
Gonna blow.

Becka M

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COWS

Inspite of the bombing, the worry and panic
that ensued, I found it hard it hard to believe it
had really happened. It had a strange, dream-like
quality, a waking dream. We were lucky, nobody
we know died or were injured. There were
lots of might have beens as so many people could
have traveled that day, or would have been there
if they had not had a sickie etc. Close, very close.
Not to mention all the sex me and Alan had had
on public transport lately. He's now making me
do it in parks, Mal's right I have ruined him. From
sweet guy to pervert what have I done?
I feel quite worried about what I'm going to say now,
it's piffy even after all this, but really I must, it's
driving me. I still hate Justine. I really do. Why?
Times like this you stick together, everything else
is inconsequential right? Right in theory, I practice
everyday but I'm still a shallow bitch. So big bad
wrong! Why I'm so very pissed at Justine is she's
been a bad girl.
Very bad indeed.
So bad I could kill her.
Or at least pull her hair.
She's cheating on Angela!
Already.
Dead- Girl has a bit on the side.
But what is eating me is who it is.
Ruth.
Oh yeah Dead-Girl and Luno Uno have
got it together bigtime. Bloody Ruth she just
doesn't care does she?
Angela phoned me in tears.
"Not my Ruthie!" I said in astonishment, the two
of them had barely made eye contact.
"Yes your Ruthie! Really Becka, I feel so betrayed!
I thought she loved me, I thought she cared! I feel
so old and useless, it's degrading, no offence but
your friend is a nasty little skank. What could Justine
possibly see in her?"
A tongue like silk and magic fingers?
"I agree, she has nothing on you Angie, you were a
real Power Lesbian couple. I'm sorry really." But I
felt like saying I told you so!
"What I want to know is what you are going to do
about it?" Angela's tone was harsh.
"Me? Well I'm sorry girl, I might have been crap at
my job, I might have slept with your son and ruined
your wedding , but I am in no way to blame for
this pile of shit!"
"Would money change anything?"
Aaah my favourite word.
"Of course! Why didn't you say! What do you want me
to do?" I grinned like a virgin in Ann Summers.
"Get Ruthie off my Pookie!" She snapped:"Get her away
from Justine and I swear you can have your job back,
hell have Justine's job! Just help me please."
How could I refuse? I would meet Angela for drinks
and we would see what happens.
But I felt hurt, how could Ruthie have found someone
to replace me already and especially someone I
despised so.
That was it-she was doing it out of spite.
The cows!

Becka M

LONDON EVER MORE

To all in London-my heart and love
goes out to you . Spent most of the morning
frantically phoning folk, all ok but it had been
very close for some of them. I feel sick with anger.
I don't like hating-I'm a lover not a hater!
Can't people just live their lives and get on with
it? Apparently not.

LAZYGIT

Hi guys, just going to have a little time away
from blogging. Will be back soon with fresh
and skanky Mad Becka adventures! Everything
is cool, everything is fine, no worries! See you all
soon and behave!

Rainex & Becka M