TIME AND SPACE (Part Twat)

I gulped and looked at Patrick for help, he shrugged,
oh great another shrugger!
I looked at Mickey Straw so damned sure he had me
by the short and curlies the cockney bastard!
I looked at Alan, his white face set and brooding.
"It is true Mickey wants me back." I said slowly.
Alan shut his eyes like he couldn't stand the pain.
"I see." He said.
"No you don't."I reached across and stroked his face,
so thin and tight like stretched leather.
"You are the one that I want." I said then realized
what I'd said! Oh shit! In my head Travolta and Newton-
John sang away, oooh oooh oooh. I blushed. Could I fuck
it up further? What cheese could I add to this spread?
Anyone for Edam?
"Sod off!" This was Mick:"He's cheated on you with
your best friend, I would never do that!"
It was true, Alan had in a moment of complete insanity
and because she was blackmailing him, shagged Ruth.
"You have cheated with me, what about your wife!
So shut up!" I snapped. Patrick lit his cigar at the table
and grinned wolfishly:"Your turn." He said to Alan.
"My turn? Oh thank you." He said his voice dripping
with sarcasm. Patrick actually laughed. "Becka this
crazy life of yours is sending me mad! Marry me or
leave me, no more in between, I've had enough of it!
You should be ashamed!" (This was to Mickey)"Call
yourself a Copper! Hardly a pillar of the community,
more like a pimp!"
Mickey's face darkened and his eyes bulged:"You have
called me Copper one too many times son!" Next minute
his fist flew across the table and connected with Alan's
jaw with a snap!"
I shrieked and grabbed Alan to stop him from falling to
the floor. Patrick was on his feet and barred the way
so that Mickey could not get near us.
"Alan!" I cried and held his head in my hands.
"Wow that hurt!" He muttered.
A woman screamed:"Call the police!"
Mickey smiled:"I am the police ma'am, nothing to see
here."
But there was, Alan started laughing as he always does
when he gets stressed.
"Detective Straw this is quite unseemly can you desist?"
Said Patrick calmly in his politician's voice.
"Let's take it outside shall we?" Said Alan and pulled
himself up. "This is what you wanted eh Becks? Two
men fighting over you. Well you got it!"
My turn to get angry.
"You silly twat! I've never wanted that! And don't
flatter me so, I know you are fighting Mick because
you hate him, so just leave me out eh? You two hate
eachother so much there must be some sort of
primal attraction!"
"Oh explain?" Said Mickey.
"Maybe you should date eachother instead! Bum
eachother and stop fucking with my head!" I stood
up and took Patrick's arm.
"I love you Alan and I will marry you, but if you think
I'm going to watch two great oafs hit eachother then you
have another thing coming! Patrick lets leave."
"Oh!" Said Patrick:"Don't spoil my fun!"
"You sound like a vampire, leave it!" I scolded.
"I don't fancy Straw, he's bloody simian!" Muttered
Alan. Mickey kissed his teeth like a Jamaican.
"You stupid cunt! Think you are so superior." His
eyes looked like fireworks reflected in a meth's
bottle. I exhaled and started to leave.
"You walk away from me girl and that's it!" Warned
Mickey, he leaned forward:"Are you forgetting your
dear darling dada? I still haven't told you everything."
"Or anything!" I whispered back.
"What are they saying?" Demanded Alan to Patrick.
"Sex stuff I should think." Said Patrick with a nod
and tapped the side of his nose.
"Mickey, screw you. Alan when you've finished acting
like an arse I'll be at your house."
We walked through the tables like people on a red
carpet, namely everyone was staring at us.
"Don't look back." Said Patrick.
"Oh god are they still fighting?" I said and winced.
"No, they are kissing." Said Patrick, I looked at him
and we both cracked up laughing. What a life!


Becka M