HEAPS BETTER

You can only imagine my little heart beating
in my chest as my cab took me straight to
Mickey's (I had already phoned him enroute).
Sharon (wifey) opened the door, I felt really
bad going to their place. For many reasons.
"Hiya Becks!" She said and kissed me:"Mickey's
in the lounge." She led me through her home.
"Nice to see you again Shazza! We really must
go for a drink sometime." I said guiltily, she
always seemed to make me feel like a filthy
whore. Then I noticed she was pregnant (again-
would that be the fifth or sixth Straw sprog?)She
pulled a rueful face. This is why I'd never make
a good detective.
"Time I've had this one, I'll be past it!" She
laughed, I didn't being at least 3 years older
then Shaz.
Mickey looked at the pictures, he sat like the
hunky-slob he was in comedy boxers with
the word 'Horny' printed on the bum and a
devil's face. Not funny at all really. Cute though.
"Clever girl." He said and examined the phone,
then he frowned:"Look I'm pleased and all, this
is shit hot, but Skinner is going to miss his phone.
I'm going to copy the pictures and ask you to
take this back where you found it."
"Fuck off!" I squealed:"He might kill me!"
"I won't let anything happen to you, I promise!
Also I'm pretty sure Skinner is not the murderer,
although his hands are far from clean."
"I feel heaps better." I grumbled as he phoned HQ,
transferred pictures onto his computer and
changed into 501's anti-fits and a Fred Perry
t-shirt. He then silently drove me back to Skinner's.
"I feel heaps better." I said when a puzzled S&M
master opened the door:"I thought I'd cook
you breakfast, you go back to bed." I purred.
Skinner shrugged, he was probably used to
women acting crazy-like. I fried everything
in the fridge and took a gulp of Lemon Absolut
vodka, bit early though. Must have only been
about 6.30am! Skinner ate his food though, me,
well my stomach was still lurching out of control
but I nibbled a bit of toast.
I feel heaps better now I've stashed the phone
back down the side of the sofa. Skinner enjoyed
his fry-up and polite blow-job.
"Now I really must say good bye." I smiled my
cutest, ditziest smile.
"I have a feeling Becka, that you will break
my heart." He said solemnly.
"Very possibly." I agreed.
Mickey Straw was still waiting outside for
me (I thought he was just dropping me off)
so that was good too.
"What the hell were you doing in there?" He
demanded.
I sucked two of my fingers and winked.
"Becka!" He shook his head:"What are you like?"
"I'm good." I said. "Oh and you will let me
know what I'm meant to be doing next?"
"Have you been all girlie-pally with that Justine
bird?"
"I have not. I'll try harder." I lit a ciggie using
Mickey's car lighter, my smoking had found
the evidence, so it definitely had some uses.
Mickey sniffed the air.
"You smell delicious!" He smelt my hair and
neck. "Yum yum!"
"Nicotine?"I offered.
"Nah, bacon and eggs, god I could eat you for
breakfast!"
He meant it in the most innocent way I'm
sure, but after Skinner's (rather pathetic)
effort, I was in need of some hearty fayre.
"What's stopping you?" I winked:"Nothing
like a full English!"
Mickey growled and drove to a lay-by
where he performed the most wonderful
tongue tickling on my hoo-ha. And they say
Coppers don't do a good job!
Becka Martin (harlot)
p.s I'm trying not to think about Sharon.