HEAPS BETTER

You can only imagine my little heart beating
in my chest as my cab took me straight to
Mickey's (I had already phoned him enroute).
Sharon (wifey) opened the door, I felt really
bad going to their place. For many reasons.
"Hiya Becks!" She said and kissed me:"Mickey's
in the lounge." She led me through her home.
"Nice to see you again Shazza! We really must
go for a drink sometime." I said guiltily, she
always seemed to make me feel like a filthy
whore. Then I noticed she was pregnant (again-
would that be the fifth or sixth Straw sprog?)She
pulled a rueful face. This is why I'd never make
a good detective.
"Time I've had this one, I'll be past it!" She
laughed, I didn't being at least 3 years older
then Shaz.
Mickey looked at the pictures, he sat like the
hunky-slob he was in comedy boxers with
the word 'Horny' printed on the bum and a
devil's face. Not funny at all really. Cute though.
"Clever girl." He said and examined the phone,
then he frowned:"Look I'm pleased and all, this
is shit hot, but Skinner is going to miss his phone.
I'm going to copy the pictures and ask you to
take this back where you found it."
"Fuck off!" I squealed:"He might kill me!"
"I won't let anything happen to you, I promise!
Also I'm pretty sure Skinner is not the murderer,
although his hands are far from clean."
"I feel heaps better." I grumbled as he phoned HQ,
transferred pictures onto his computer and
changed into 501's anti-fits and a Fred Perry
t-shirt. He then silently drove me back to Skinner's.
"I feel heaps better." I said when a puzzled S&M
master opened the door:"I thought I'd cook
you breakfast, you go back to bed." I purred.
Skinner shrugged, he was probably used to
women acting crazy-like. I fried everything
in the fridge and took a gulp of Lemon Absolut
vodka, bit early though. Must have only been
about 6.30am! Skinner ate his food though, me,
well my stomach was still lurching out of control
but I nibbled a bit of toast.
I feel heaps better now I've stashed the phone
back down the side of the sofa. Skinner enjoyed
his fry-up and polite blow-job.
"Now I really must say good bye." I smiled my
cutest, ditziest smile.
"I have a feeling Becka, that you will break
my heart." He said solemnly.
"Very possibly." I agreed.
Mickey Straw was still waiting outside for
me (I thought he was just dropping me off)
so that was good too.
"What the hell were you doing in there?" He
demanded.
I sucked two of my fingers and winked.
"Becka!" He shook his head:"What are you like?"
"I'm good." I said. "Oh and you will let me
know what I'm meant to be doing next?"
"Have you been all girlie-pally with that Justine
bird?"
"I have not. I'll try harder." I lit a ciggie using
Mickey's car lighter, my smoking had found
the evidence, so it definitely had some uses.
Mickey sniffed the air.
"You smell delicious!" He smelt my hair and
neck. "Yum yum!"
"Nicotine?"I offered.
"Nah, bacon and eggs, god I could eat you for
breakfast!"
He meant it in the most innocent way I'm
sure, but after Skinner's (rather pathetic)
effort, I was in need of some hearty fayre.
"What's stopping you?" I winked:"Nothing
like a full English!"
Mickey growled and drove to a lay-by
where he performed the most wonderful
tongue tickling on my hoo-ha. And they say
Coppers don't do a good job!
Becka Martin (harlot)
p.s I'm trying not to think about Sharon.

MR BENN

Remember the old children's programme Mr Benn?
God your old! He used to try on clothes in a closet
whilst a man watched him (wearing a fez as they do)
and he would be transported to another land when he
walked through the mirror in the closet? That was
Sister-thing's favourite-I always thought it was a bit
odd and watching the re-runs on Sky the other night
decided that nothing had changed there then.
Oh that was just something I had to get off my chest
as it was bugging the hell out of me!
Right-Skinner.
Yes I went back to his place and yes items of clothing
were removed on account I spilt my drink over my
lap and looked like I had the world's biggest period.
Of course the sight of me in my small and delicates
was enough to send Master Skinner into caveman
frenzy (well his top lip was sweating) and he asked
if I would like one of his shirts to slip into.
No, I said boldly, would he not like me to slip between
his sheets instead? Apparently he would-which I
did. Interesting stuff in account it was totally vanilla,
boy-girl sex, no anal probes, whips, or whatever. It
was normal and as Ruthie might say 'bread and butter
sex'. Her term for a shag that was needed but not
special.
He was (I hate to say this) a disappointment compared
to the Twins (not that I got that far with them) his dick
was slightly below average in length. Still he enjoyed
himself. I had wanted to be tied to the bed and beaten
senseless, I'd built this up so much in my head. It was
not fair! Where were the handcuffs and restraints?
I'm sad. So I watched him sleep, his nude body hairless
and smooth with it's bunchy muscles and small penis. I
felt quite maternal. He'd even taken his false vampy
teeth out-bless.
All that Grady stuff had scared the shit out of me
saying that Skinner would have me for brekkie or
whatever. Maybe Grady was just shitting me, Skinner
was not all the monster I'd been expecting.
I got up and stretched, Skinner did not
allow smoking in the bedroom so I went into the
living room. Very nice too, dark manly, fetishy
what more could a girl want? A lighter would be good.
Shit I must have left it at LilacLace. What a bummer.
Skinner surely must have a light and I did not
want to disturb him, where would a book of matches
or a lighter be? I always used to find them down the
sides of sofa and chairs, so that was where I tried
first. No luck on the chairs, some loose change,
an empty condom wrapper, fluff and a Tiger-like
contact lense. I placed that on the table, I would
score brownie points with that one I was sure.
The sofa also never had anything useful but I did
find Skinner's mobile phone. I looked at the photo's
he had stored, naked people having sex at Thrumz,
someone being hung and whipped, someone being
hung and dying. Pru! Blinking bloody bloody fuck!
I felt like grabbing the mobile and running naked
onto the street, but that would be silly. Discretion
would be best. I placed the phone in my hand-bag
and turned it off (I was not a complete muppet you
know!) Then I made Skinner a cup of coffee with
my shaking hands.
Skinner now looked like the world's scariest naked
murdering cow-son but bravely I kissed his bald
head.
"Hey babe." I said:"I made coffee for you, listen,
I'm going to have to go home, my head is splitting
and I really hope it's not the flu or lurgy."
Skinner sipped his coffee and eyed me with his
bright blue peepers.
"Must you? That was so good Becka, it felt right
you know what I mean? Somehow clean and perfect."
He stroked my face, my stomach made a gurgling
sound (which he heard). Normally I would have
felt embarrassed but it aided me here.
"See, gas? I'm definitely coming down with
something. I hope I don't get the shits."
His grimace said it all, good.
"Right I'd better call you a cab then."
Yeah and I'd better call the police.
Becka Martin.

HOLA

After I had filled Mickey Straw in about Justine going
'walkies' with Skinner and he had stopped laughing, he
said:
"This is just perfect Becks! What a blinding stroke of
luck! I bet we're not far from finding out the key players.
Good girl!" His chirpy cockney voice made me want to
put my hands around his neck and squeeze tightly.
Did he not know that I was miserable? Skinner was mine
or meant to be. Jeff had been mine, they were probably all
laughing at me and comparing notes (ok that is paranoia)
but I'm pissed off and not happy.
"Hmm." I said by way of a reply.
"What's wrong?" See Mickey is Mickey, he knew me inside
and out and then some. He was a dirty bastard-we should
have got married.
"Nothing, but this is getting kind of ugly, do you not see that?
Every fucker I know seems mixed up in this! I don't know
who to trust anymore!" I bleated like a small truculent child.
"Well you can trust me! Kate, Raine, Alex, Ruth, no skip that,
I never trusted Ruth especially after that stalking stuff."
It was all a big joke to Mickey.
"I notice the absence of men on your list."
"I'm a man! Cheeky cow!"
"No your a Cop, what about Alan, surely he's trustworthy?"
"I think he just might be, but you should avoid him like the
plague at the moment. If you value his safety that is."
Warned Mickey.
"Bastard!" I hung up on Detective Dickhead, what a wanker!
Alright to put me in danger though, bloody men, stick together
or what!
So I dated Skinner at LilacLace, Skinner wore black as usual,
but being completely pissed off and not in the mood for
S&M stuff I put my leather trews aside and wore a floaty
pink dress by Ghost. My hair was in ringlets and I even
wore blusher. I looked pretty damn fine for a skank.
Skinner seemed pleased too.
"Becka!" He breathed and kissed my cheek (our first kiss!)
"You look lovely." He said simply.
"Thanks!" I said and waited for him to offer me a drink
which he did. When he went to get them Grady hustled
over like some sort of defrosting gateau.
"Becka, what a surprise." He kissed my hand and I'm
sure that I felt far more tongue then was necessary.
"Ditto." I muttered.
"I see you have a new beau, Skinner, he's a good man."
Said Grady approvingly. "A step up from the usual
pretty boys you date."
"Oh he gets your seal of approval does he? Can't think
why, but that makes me shit my pants!" Which it did,
Grady was some sort of hard gangster and he liked
my choice of man. "As long as he's not like you, I'll
be ok."
Grady grabbed my left breast and squeezed hard,
it really hurt.
"Skinner will eat you for dinner you little fool!"
He licked the side of my face, yuk!
"Just fuck off and die Grady your spoiling my night!"
I'm not called Mad Becka for nothing!
All pretence was over, Grady walked away shaking
his head in confusion.
"Crazy 'ho!" I thought I heard him mutter.
"Penny for them." Said Skinner, I jumped nearly
knocking the glasses out of his hands. "whoa! Are
you ok?"
My breast was stinging and I was shaking like a leaf.
"Not really!" I gulped down my vodka martini, shit
I was screwing this up and then some. Cool baby real
cool.
"Can you take me home?" I whispered, Grady had
undermined my resolve, best leave and try again
another time.
"I could, but I'd rather take you back to mine, this
place lacks atmosphere tonight." His eyes (which
had lightning strikes) sparkled. Normally I would
have said no because I liked to torment Skinner.
"Ok, I'm trusting that you will remain a gentleman?"
I said coyly, I wouldn't care if he stripped me naked
here and now, just as long as we could go! I was
that scared of Grady.
"We'll see." He ushered me through the crowds,
protecting me with his hard body. I looked at Grady
with his huge gappy teeth grinning away at me
knowingly and he shouted loudly:
"Skinner! Give Becka one for me you lucky dog-I
hear she's hotstuff." Grady licked his vast greasy
lips.
I could have died! I know I'm not exactly a nun, but
Skinner didn't know that! His eyes narrowed and he
gave Grady the finger.
"Sorry about that!" He whispered in my ear as if it
was his fault. Oh my, maybe he thought the insult
was a slur on him?
" Me and Grady go way back, he dates one of my
girls and he hates me. I'm sorry too." I said quietly.
"Nothing to apologise about." He kissed my forehead,
once again a very Alan thing to do. "Interesting you
know Grady though." Abruptly he stopped talking
and I did not want to press the matter although I
was aching to ask how did he know Grady.
We were soon in a cab hurtling through the cold
streets of London. I felt so odd, scared because this
was what I had to do and scared because this was
what I wanted to do. Go home with Master Skinner
that is, on everything else I felt totally out of my
depth. Shit Mickey.
Becka Martin

MEN ARE EVIL PIGS

Not exactly a PC title, but that is how I feel at
the moment. I'll take you back (grudgingly) to
when Ruth dropped yet another bombshell on
my battered shoulders.
"Right are you ready? Not going to freak out
and act silly on me are you?" Said Ruth, she was
practically doing a St Vitus dance in her urgency
to spill the beans.
"Give me some credit!" I snapped.
"I saw your Master Skinner tonight at LilacLace."
She said and chewed her lip (always a Ruthie bad-
sign). Bugger I had hoped it would be Skinner's
first time at my club, then I could show him around
and act like a ponce. I nodded for her to continue.
"He was with Jeff and Estelle and er...:" More frantic
lip biting:"Justine! He seemed quite attached to her."
She smirked. Visions of Skinner fondling Justine jutted
through my brain and it was not pretty.
"Well he knows Jeff, so he must know the others, what
did you see Ruth? And stop making such a bloody meal
out of it!" From being snuggly warm with the twins,
I was now hot and fuming. Heads would roll for this!
"Ok! Keep your hair on! He was attached to her on
account she was wearing a dog collar and chain!" She
said triumphantly and clapped her hands together
in glee.
I found nothing funny about it at all.
"Fuck off! I don't believe you! Justine would never
go to a club on a leash! Even if she did, it must be
some sort of joke, surely?" I pulled my hair (nearly
popping a few bonds in the process).
"It looked real to me, she was like a doe-eyed silent
slave, oh and you could only see she was on a leash if
you got up real close. Which I did, I gave Jeff a huge
kiss to piss Estelle off!" She chuckled. "And Skinner
was not happy to see me I guess he knows I'll tell
you!"
"I see." I was not happy, ok Skinner was not boyfriend
material, but he was definitely not Justine material!
My nose was put out of joint and then some.
"What are you going to do?" Asked Ruth.
"Nothing! I'm going out for a date with him as planned.
But rest assured-I will bring this up." (If I didn't bring
my dinner up first)....................I would have to phone
Mickey Straw, but that could wait.
"What about Alex? Where is she?" I suddenly noticed her
absence.
"Oh she went off with Grady-chops, silly cow, but what
can you do eh?"
Eh indeed.
Going out with Skinner tonight he better have some
answers. Would you say that I'm a hypocrite? No
don't answer that as I know I am, but still I can't but
help think my life is getting stranger and everything
is far too close for comfort.
Becka Martin

OOH AH JUST A LITTLE BIT

Remember that old Gina G song from 1996?
I do too, how sad is that? But it's been going through
my head for the last couple of days, like on repeat play.
If I saw her I'd give her a little bit-my foot up her
arse that is!
Oh the twins! Oh God-sex on a stick times two. And
no, sadly, reluctantly, I still haven't shagged them.
But the massage was good, really good......
"Becka your shoulders feel like they've the weight
of the world on them!" Said Jude, he was doing
complicated things with my muscles and every now
and then would sweep downwards towards my
breasts. The nipples were standing up to attention,
any higher and my towel would definitely burst
open. Which was just what I had in mind.
"You got that right." I murmured, I was now lying
on Ruth's bed (being the biggest bed in the flat).
Quinn was working on my feet, doing some weird
reflexology thingy, all I knew was it felt great
and I was pretty darn sure he could see my pubic
hair which always ups the ante.
"You need this Becka." Said Quinn.
I nodded:"Oh I do!"
"You deserve it." Whispered Jude, so close to my
ear that I could feel his hot breath.
"That too." I felt really drunk-all my skin seemed
to be alive, every pore and crevice longed to be
touched and explored.
Quinn's fingers began to stray higher, massaging
my calves then my thighs. My vulva was starting
to twitch and squirm, shit, I was going to come
very soon at this rate-I'm not complaining I just
wanted it to last! As if realizing this Jude said:
"No you don't! Turn over onto your belly we will
work on your back."
I bleated in protest, but they ignored me and
flipped me over like an egg except I was 'over
easy' I guess.
Jude pulled the towel down to my waist so
my back was perfectly exposed and my small
angry breasts were flattened underneath me.
Quinn slipped his hand beneath the towel
and began to massage (quite roughly) my buttocks.
Jude touched my face and slipped a finger into
my mouth (which I bit).
"What are we going to do with her Quinn?"He
asked, obviously delighted from the lovely
bulge in his trousers.
"Everything she wants of course!" Laughed
Quinn and slipped a finger straight into my
hoo-ha. It surprised me really, he was not
normally half as racy as Jude.
I don't know if they were telepathic-or just
randy, but that seemed to be the signal for
Jude to flip me over 'sunnyside up' and
begin earnest tit-sucking! Jeez!
Quinn buried his head between my thighs
and I soon realized why he was the quieter twin.
He saved his tongue for pussy-work!
Quinn began to struggle with his zip and
Jude already had grabbed one of my hands
and thrust it down his pants.
The sight of all this male beauty and activity
was too much, Quinn was tracing around my
clitty with his tongue-I came guys! Couldn't
help it and it was fab. I'm shaking thinking
about it!
"That's just the beginning, now it's our turn-
ever had two guys at once?" Said Jude.
"Yeah!" I said but his face fell in disappointment:
"But never twins!"
He brightened up at this:"Well let's say, we
haven't had many complaints!"
"I can understand that!" I laughed and pulled him
down on top of me, Quinn was naked by now
and snuggling into my neck.
"I felt every, tremor, every shudder right through
my tongue!" He whispered in my ear, I kissed
him passionately and missed Ruth enter the room.
"Oh fucking hell Becks! Not on my fucking bed
with these fuckers! Shit-what a cunt!" She threw
her handbag at my head.
"Sorry Ruth! I thought you were out." What a
pain in the arse she was turning up like this!
Jude kissed my cheek (face that is!):"There will
be other times Becks!"
Quinn was already half dressed, Ruth stood in
the doorway like my mother or something.
The boys both kissed Ruth on the way out.
"Yeah yeah." She said grudgingly. I mouthed 'Sorry'
to them, the both nodded and grinned boyishly.
Nothing kept them down for long. Love it.
"Alright! Don't make a meal out of it!" Scowled
Ruth. She flopped down on the bed with me.
"Not on my bed!" She still grumbled.
"Sorry-but I got carried away!" I admitted.
"Quite!" Ruth lit a cigarette and passed me it.
"I've got something to tell you , something I
saw and I don't think you will like it at all." She said.
"Oh give me strength!" How many times have
people said that to me? It always meant trouble
or shit or both.
"Get ready-'cos this will kill ya!" She said gleefully.
Becka Martin

THE BITS THAT COUNT

What has happened in the meanwhile? I hear you
shout! Well nothing exactly dramatic, but a few
interesting keynotes. Firstly I had another date
with Master Skinner, a quiet Italian restaurant, a
leather clad Bi-sexual freak (and that was just me!)
what more could you want? I did not ask him anymore
about Jeff yet (could it be jealousy?) as I thought it
would be suspicious. So far no physical contact, not
even a kiss on the cheek (or a smack on the bum).
But he seems interested:
"Becka you are the first woman that I've been
keen on for years."
"Keen? That sounds so sweet and old fashioned!"
I laughed and for a poignant moment thought of
Alan and how much he had meant to me. 'Keen'
would have been a word he might have used.
"Why the sad face?" Said Skinner.
"No, just being silly! I've had a great time, no whips
and chains, just food and conversation. You surprised
me with your ordinary-ness."
"I don't know how to take that! Just because I like
S&M does not automatically exclude me from
normal life! You are funny and quite addictive, can
I see you again?"
I looked at him, underneath the fangs, claws, shaved-
head and no-eyebrows, he was a nice guy. I fancied
him rotten, but that was just it. It was lust, he was not
boyfriend material. But for Mickey Straw's sake I
said:
"Of course! But this time I'll pick the venue." I had
already decided on LilacLace.
"Great!" He said and do you know that not once did
he pull me up for not calling him Master?
Justine on the other hand was a tougher egg to
crack. She did turn up for work (looking like shit)
and smelling like a brewery. Jeez it was scary seeing
the Undead One go off the rails-that was my job.
Angela said: "She doesn't phone in sick, then she
turns up drunk! I've made personal calls to her
which she didn't bother to reply to. I don't know
Becka, looks like I'm going to be out of a lover and
a PA soon."
"Hey! I am your PA!" I retorted, Angela just threw
back her head and laughed. How rude.
I sidled up to Justine.
"You ok?" I whispered.
"Yeah right!" She laughed.
"No I mean it." I said heroically.
"Piss off." Justine turned away and started to clean
her face with a facial wipe. One last attempt.
"Look I know we don't get on." Understatement of
the year! "But if you are in any trouble I might be
able to help." I walked away before she lamped me.
Justine stared at me for a long time.

But the best has to be the twins visit last night!
Perverama! Being saturday night the girlies went
off on the pull (although I'm bloody certain that
Alex is renewing her unsavoury friendship with
Grady) I decided to have a hot bath and to relax.
I was just towel drying my hair when the door
sounded. It was the twins looking like they had
escaped from a Gap advert, so woolly and bundled
up were they. I felt most conspicuous in my short
towel!
"High guys!" I said and let them in, Jude's eye's
were already looking naughty. Quinn kissed my
cheek, ever the gentleman.
"Becks, it's Alan, we're worried about him, he's
most withdrawn and he keeps muttering to
himself like a nutter." Said Jude.
"Really? Well I've spent a long time worrying
about Alan, I would consider myself to be on a
break from worrying about anything!" I snapped
but you guessed it, I was already worrying.
"Look, he's ok, we will look after him-just phone
him sometime." Said Quinn and he put a hand on
my shoulder. That hand changed everything. I
caught his eye.
"She's very tense Jude." He said.
"I can see that, I can feel that too." Jude began to
deliciously massage my neck and shoulders.
"Maybe you should lay down?" He offered.
Hotdog!
Becka Martin

ET JUSTINE

No I don't know where they went! Bastards gave me the slip-
I waited in Thrumz for all of 2 hours being sleazed over by
really badly dressed people and not even a Master Skinner
to keep me amused. Speaking of which, I surely don't know
how I feel about him now, especially if he has had sex with Jeff.
I'm not homophobic (how could I be?) but it's just the thought
of Jeff it's so sick! Nevermind-turns out Jeff, Estelle and Justine
left the building in the wee small hours as CopGirl and
Mickey Straw kept a vigil.
"But what was Justine wearing?" It was killing me the
anticipation.
"Oh she looked cute, sort of red dress, high heels, slicked
back hair." Said Mickey.
"That's not helping me at all!" I glowered. CopGirl
translated.
"She had on a dress of crushed red velvet with a
lacey built in bodice making her waist about 18 inches,
she had on red high heels and I mean high at least
10 inches as the sole had a platform, looked sex shop
stuff rather then designer and she could hardly walk in
them."
"Make-up?" I asked.
"Who gives a fuck!" Said Mickey rudely. We both looked at
him, shocked and disdainful. "Can we continue?" He asked.
"I guess." I mumbled, CopGirl nodded, boy did she have it
bad for him!
"You need another date with Skinner, see if you can get
closer to him, there has got to be a secret meeting place in
Thrumz, somewhere they have 'THE BAD SEX'."
"Was that in capitols?" I asked.
"Very likely." Said CopGirl.
"Oh I forgot to ask, Justine, did she seem happy when
she came out of the club?" I said hoping she had been
pissed and throwing up.
"No she was crying a bit, they put her in a cab." Explained
Mickey:"Perhaps you could chum up to her and find out?"
"Sod off! I'd rather 'chum' up to a rattlesnake!"
But I was concerned, especially as she hasn't been to
work. I'll keep you informed, caio babies.

Becka Martin