MAD BECKA-THIRTYSOMETHING FUCKWIT

2010-07-25T13:05:00.000-07:00

MOPING

I spent the next couple of days moping. Alan thinks:

1./ I'm past it

2./ I have a fat arse (true)

3./ I am sad-tricky does he mean sad like teary or sad like
pathetic?

4./ He does not care because he hasn't text or phoned me

5./ There is no 5 just repetition of 1 to 4

Also Ruth hasn't contacted me this is because:

1./ She hates me

2./ Simon says no

3./ I called her a pussy

4./ Simon's killed her

5./ No 5 still worrying about 4

I spent this time productively. Jogging horrible,

eating salad yuk, doing crunches ouch.

Wondering if I should take up smoking, brandies driving my vespa
again.

But the overwhelming need is to be shagged. Laid down hard
no funny stuff just hip action and plenty of it.

I wanna walk bowlegged like a teenager!

I want Alan to text me and I will not phone him or text
as I have some pride you know.

Best Becka xxxx

2010-07-20T11:06:00.000-07:00

Goo Goo Alan

"You are a sight for sore eyes!" I beamed at
Alan in the near empty pub we had found near the
tube station.
I was drinking vodka lemonade and lime and
drinking in Alan too. I was playing with my drink
really I hardly touch alcohol and I don't want to ride
that horse anymore.

"I have missed you, just never seemed right
contacting you after all this time. Still fate
intervened." He smiled and his greying black hair
fell into his face like a cool winters night.
Gotta love that man.

"Me too, all the shit we went through and the good
times too, kinda blocked me from casual contact
with you, know what I mean?" I said ruefully.

I had filled him in about Ruth, never his favourite
person but it made him laugh.

"I know she's dear to you but what an impossible woman!
Simon suits her to the ground." He smirked.

"No the way it's going, it's like she is disappearing.
Damn, I've lost too many people, you included! I'm
not going to lose her! It's like he's taken her fight
away. She's a er, pussy, for lack of a better word!"

"People change you have to get used to it Becks." He
smiled.

"Do you think I've changed?" As soon as I said that
I could have cut my tongue out and thrown it across
the room! Eejit me!

"Um you've, ah. filled out a bit, you seem sadder
and a bit calmer. But essentially the same, it's not
been that long! Same old Becks eh?" He stroked my face.

"Sad old fat me yeah I get the picture! No worries I'm
jogging everyday eventually I will regain myself." I
wished he had said I was beautiful, sexy, but sad, fat?
A girl's bubble bursteth and then:

"You are not a girl anymore Becka, you are a mature woman,
changes are natural, look at my hair." He shook his icy
hair at me.

"Big sodding deal, I may be 100 years old but I will
always be a girl, to me! Yes you have great hair, so
do I but if I let my hair show it's greys then I'm
into old bagsville while you look distinguished. Not fair
and cruel." I sipped my drink, hateful really, bitter nasty,
not my old brandy and coke treat.

"You havent lost any of your looks Becka, please don't
get the wrong idea." The hand on my face again.

Hey bud unless you are prepared to put that mutha hand
between my legs take the fucker off me! I didnt say it though.

"I'm going to have to dash soon, will we stay in contact?"
He said it lightly as if it was no big deal.

"I'd like that." I admitted, trying not to sound too keen.

He smiled and he was a boy, happy go lucky. He grabbed my
mobile off the table and tapped in his number and took mine.
He remembered I was useless at all things textical. However
years had gone by. I was as savvy as the next middle years
bitch.

"OK I will text you. Soon. Let me know anything that happens
with looney Ruth and the fantastic Simon." He kissed me
softly on the lips, winked and then swooshed out all dark
and glamour. Fuck it.

Best Becka XXXXX

p.s THanks Lindy for you everloving support xxxxx

2010-07-04T11:36:00.000-07:00

MAJESTIC

When I finally had it out with Ruth it was like a
kettle boiling over eeeeeeeeeeee!

"You don't like Simon do you?" Accused Ruth with her eyes
hot and flashing like Chucky.

" Yeah sure I like him just fine, this man who stole
my best friend and turned her into Stepford Wife without
the dress sense. This man that thinks every second that I
am going to jump his wife's bones and thinks that I am a
bad influence when in fact little Ruthie is the biggest
ho of them all, she put the Ho in Hobnobs and the knobs too.
Yes thrilled, absolutely delighted, ticketyboo oh joyous
union." I actually snarled, cool huh?

Ruth chewed her babyish lips.

"Is this because you could not be a bridesmaid?" She
asked amazingly.

"Well that was an issue, amongst a cast of thousand
others. Just what the hell are you doing with him?
Did this dude actually fuck your brains out? Cos you
are acting pretty well lobotomised from where I am
standing."

"You are so crude. You just don't want me to be happy
do you? Maybe you are jealous that I have a man that
actually wanted to marry me and you, look you have nothing!
Even your hot figure is going to pot." She glared at me
and I glared right back at her, we were a second from rolling
around on the floor with each other's hair in our hands.

"That will be it Ruth, I am a ugly fat arsed hag without a
man or shag and you are a fantastic worthy surrendered wife.
Whats not to covet?" I was leaving, the adrenalin was making
my hands sweat and I ached to put them around Ruth's throat.
How could she turn on me like this? When I had never ever
turned on her, not really not even when she was blackmailing Alan
and such. (Previous one hundred year ago entry)

I felt like leaving because I was gonna cry and I don't like
that very much.

I also began to think maybe I was a little jealous, but Simon
was a monster and I didn't want a husband like that, or come to
think of it a loco wife like Ruthie.

"I'm sorry Becks,maybe you don't understand it, but please
I am so happy it hurts, let this ride out and I am sure Simon
will forgive you in time." She put her hand on my arm and squeezed.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE kettle and boiling point reached.

"FORGIVE ME? FUCK SAKE RUTH! Whatever have I done that needs forgiveness
for from Simon? Everything we did was years ago, BEFORE Simon, he has no
right at all to be jealous or forgive me!" I was aghast, she had
fucking lost her mind to talk to me like that without a warning!

"Becka I love you, maybe if you came to our church to show willing?"
Ruth pleaded.

"Oh this is sooo good. Church! What next? C'mon just don the
sack cloth and ashes, they will go nice with your ugly clothes and
sad hair. Take the stick out of your arse whilst we're at it eh?"

Less then a minute later I was on the street. Fuck, what a mess. This
one not of my causing.

I headed straight down the tube station at Oxford circus, swiped my
oyster card and sat muttering to myself for the next 15 mins to I
changed to the Northern line.

There was a delay so I bought some chocolate to help with my fat arse
it was a Yorkie and I ate it 3 squares just trying to get the sugar and
fat into my heart broken bod. I sat there panting with my head in my hands,
next I lurched for the bin as chocolate and morning croissant did an encore.

"Disgusting!" Said a woman with a Sainsburys bag.

"Dibby skant." Said a teenage black kid.

" What happened to you?" Said Alan.

Alan?!

I gave him a big sickly chocolate coated smile.

Best Becka xxxxx

(C'mon guys I'm loney out here! Say something even if
it's fuck off loser, negative comments are
better then nada love Rainex)

2010-06-28T03:20:00.000-07:00

WEDDING OF THE DAMNED

Well we ticked over for sometime, me grudgingly seeing
Ruth when Simon deemed fit usually with him there with
us smarmily watching in case I suddenly had the urge to
pull down her knickers. Or with him in the vicinity,
with Ruth texting him constantly to make sure she hadnt
vacated to Dykesville pussylove town.

Then they married. Would you believe that I was not asked
to be bridesmaid? Or best person or best anything! No I
was relegated to the wierd table, no top table for me, I sat
with the dogy aunts and the far removed (from reality) cousins.

Was I happy? You betcha not. I wasnt even allowed to attend the
hen night. They had a sedate time in Barcelona and I stayed home
gritting my teeth. But I bared with it, this is what friends do
when a friend is acting like she lost half her brain cells.

To her wedding Ruth wore a dress which made her look like:

1./ Little house from the Oxfam Prarie

2./ A Hammer House Virgin

3./ Fucking ugly

I looked terrific navy maxi dress to show off my height and a
pair of killer silver wedges. Barbarela meedts Barbra Streisand.

The dress also hid my fat arse.

Sim Mr Groom Bastard features wore a navy suit that looked
like it was Armani and must had cost a trillion times more
then Ruth's thrifty shocksvilla dress.

She wore no make up and had her hair dyed a lovely shade
of mouse brown.

And she said Obey! When I heard the words I said No! Inwardly.

But it was done, a surrendered wife inthe flesh. I always thought
it was a kinkt thing with spanking and Masters. This was definately
less sexy and more sinister.

And where the fuck was Alex?

Best Becka XXXXX

(Thanks Butterfly and Lindy. Yeah had a hard time, then got better
then had no enthusiasm. Then went to my lowest. Then had no imagination
and then finally I crawled back to Becka street. Love you all!)

2010-06-07T10:14:00.000-07:00

REMIND ME WHAT?

"What did you tell him?" I fumed after I had Ruth
to myself whilst laughing boy went to powder something.

"Everything, honest is the best policy in relationships."
Stated Ruth.

"Somethings are better left unsaid or at least to the
imagination! Jeez Ruth he thinks I Queen Dyke from
Lickety Split street for fuck sake!" I was fuming! Really
what a dozy bitch!

"Yeah, uh about that, I kinda changed it around a little,
I said that you were the instigator." She smiled cheesily
like a child overdosing on Babybels.

"Fuck you Ruth! So much for honesty! He gave me some Rules
to abide by if I want to remain your friend. The cheek of it!
I've known you like, forever and he's laying down the rules like
some tinpot dictator." I swigged my drink and glared.

"What did he say?" She asked.

" He said:

RULE ONE

No contact without consulting him. (I will die)

RULE TWO

We cannot be alone together (just in case I cannot
control myself around you!)

RULE THREE

Any inappropriate behaviour will lead to loss of
visiting privilege's (Like you are our child in a fucked
out custody battle)

RULE FOUR

No physical contact at all (which includes hugs kisses
the usual (so a shags out of the question)

"You don't do that anymore anyways." Said Ruth pointedly.

"That's besides the point! Let me finish.

RULE FIVE

Anything that breaches rules 1-4 could result in total
alienation.

"What does that mean?" Asked Ruth.

"That baby means we are royally screwed." How very dare he!

"Oh." Ruth smiled:"I think he's sweet." She smiled that knowing
look of the doomed.

"Sweet? S-smarmy W-wanker E-eejit E-ego T-twat! No?"

Best Becka

2010-06-06T07:23:00.000-07:00

SIMON SAYS

Who gives a flying shit what he says? Bastard.
He hates me so much I can hear his teeth grinding
everytime he comes within a 1 mile radius!
The worst thing was I really wanted to give the guy
a chance you know?

When Ruth started dating him a couple of years back,
well I was sceptical, she is really such a big lezza
I thought it was just a whim. But more power to her
she stuck with it and really made the relationship
work. Albeit without ever introducing the cow son to
me. Then she says she's getting married please meet
this hunka love and approve him baby.

I was over from my Ruth thing anyway and I was really
happy for her, no really I was! I agreed to meet Mr
fucking perfection in this really dire throwback to
the 80's City pub. I was dressed in a really nice
Hannibal T shirt with black drainies and monkees but
I had paid special attention to my hair and make up.
I looked good in a roadie kind of way. I was early
so I had a large G & T and waited expectantly. I was
not nervous this was not my date this was a good thing!

Enter the dragon

Oh my gosh the worst thing was seeing Ruth dressed like
someone playing maiden aunt. Little skirt, little sweater
sensible shoes. Make up non existent.

I took a big gulp from my drink and smiled like someone
who had just bitten into a crunchy caterpillar on their
rocket salad.

Then I saw the lumbering ox she had attached to her hand,
I thought he was one of those monkies on a Radley bag
but no , he was a 6 foot neanderthal. Huge hulking body,
straight black hair cut for fuck sake like Vernon Kay
used to have. Blue eyes hidden by square rimmed specs, a
smile that would make a shark wince, white sharp and a
helluva lot of teeth. He was a one man advert for whitening.
However there was not an iota of warmth in his smile.

"I'm really pleased to meet you Becka, I've heard so
much about you." He said pleasantly enough and held my
hand a little too tightly.

Sometimes when someone does that you know that they fancy
you, but he almost hurt me, the pressure was there and
it felt like hate.

"Likewise Simon." I smiled back and freed my hand, I wanted
to wipe it on my jeans but that would have been rude.

"Honey can you go to the bar please?" Simon said to Ruth.

"Of course I can, red wine? Becka?" Ruth's voice sounded
dead posh.

I frowned at her. "G & T babes."

She left to tussle with the packed bar.

I turned my attention to Simon. " Ruthie is very pleased and
happy with you, I havent seen her so happy in years." I
said honestly.

Simon looked at me for a second and said: "I intend to keep
Ruth that way with or without your co operation." The voice
had such an open hostility that I hadn't heard in years. It
took me aback that's for sure.

"Ah not sure I understand where you are coming from Simon."
I admitted.

He leaned forwards just as Ruth was travelling back with the
drinks tray and hissed :"Ruth has told me everything about you
and if you want to remain a friend and included in her life
you are going to have to play by the rules."

I recoiled:"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"You are a bad influence and in my view a bad person. Ruth
will be my wife, I don't want anything messing that up. Look
at you , bloody pathetic woman. Oh darling you picked
a Merlot how clever of you!" Ruth had returned , he pulled her
close and they both smiled at me like couples do, Ruth with eyes
as hopeful orphan Annie Simon with a smile that made my stomach lurch.

The next time I saw him he told me the rules. Next time
I am here I will tell you them too.

Best Becka

2010-05-31T04:15:00.000-07:00

SATC

Well I went to see it last night. It was not an
enlightening work of art but it was good light
entertainment. So there haters!

It's never going to be as good as the series for
sure. They are all too rich and pampered now. But
I still love them.

I am just wearing out the mother of all hangovers.
On saturday I went out for a meal with my ahem,friend
Ruth which turned into yet another boozy escapade. I.e
12 hr pub crawl. When I got home I was sick for about
six hours (not constantly, periodically)and the next
day felt like someone had tried to cleave my head open.
It was that bad, no solids yesterday, just liquids.
Which was sad because when I went to the cinema I wanted
to have popcorn, ice cream and the usual. I had a Dr Peppers
instead. Which I didnt like nor finish.

I'll tell you next time about Ruth and her ever loving
husband Simon.
The worse thing is he thinks I am a bad influence on
her! Me! The cheek of it. He told us that we are
middle aged women that should know better. I told him
to eat me.

Best Becka xxxxxx

2010-05-26T12:27:00.000-07:00

Give Me Strength

SATC film is out and I feel strangely deflated.
This is because I loved the series and the film
was ok, but everyone seems to be out with the
knives this time. Whats that all about?

1./ Some people think that the story is shit
2./ Too many pretty clothes when we are in a
recession.
3./ Girls (ok ok) acting out of character
4./ Offensive to Islamic culture
5./ People are haters
6./ There is no six. Boy am I getting bored of no six.

I shall reserve judgment to the hype goes down
and people start pulling in their necks a bit.

ACT 2 Running from my arse

Ok this is totally sad but since ahem, I was
last here ages back, I have gained a little, I
mean , little, weight.

So enough with the pizzas and carrying my immense
rear around London, I have started to jog like a
bastard ! A bastard with a grudge an a hatred of
contol pants.

If I ever get laid again, I want a bum like a peach
not something resembling a bag of strained prunes.

Thats my goal lose the arse break the fast.

Blimey.

BTW I saw Alan in town the other day.

He didnt see me (luckily), I ran very fast
headlong into a terrified Traffic Warden who
thought I was attacking him.
Oh dear.
Alan looked scrummy, all silver haired foxiness.
Lush.
I looked like someone running away from her own arse.

I have to say sadly I deleted the links to all my favourite
(noticed the way I spelt that with a U?)blog sites as it's been
so long you have probably all gone now. If you are still out
there guys (and you know who you bloody well are) I will re
add you to the blog (whats left of it that is).

2010-05-20T01:26:00.000-07:00

I guess you thought I was gone for good, so did I.
Change of heart, call it mercy, how could I let
My zero at this moment audience down?

What has happened in the last hundred years? Ok
no Alan havent seen him for two years, Alex lives
in Florida and we have lost touch apart from xmas
and birthday cards. Ruth is married!!!!! To a man!!
Sister-thing is still doing the fuzzy haired thing
and a brunette! The rest have drifted away. Mum is
still around waiting for her iron lung (only joking!)
Talking of which I havent smoked for years?

I know! Can you believe it

I can't the lure of menthols get stronger everyday!
I still see Mal sometimes love him.
What else? Oh yeah a biggie, I do not work in retail
anymore I retrained, brace yourself, as a Civil Servant!

BTW I have been celibate for 3 years just thought you
should know in case of any suggestions.

Love you long time

Becka XXX

2007-11-10T09:03:00.000-08:00

ME-ooow

I am so sorry guys have been a miserable cow kneeling at the gates of
citalopram. No we were not washed away with the tidal surge, but on
the plus side did get a lot of exercise carrying possessions, objects and
general boy-tat upstairs.
Madbecka will resume shortly.
Thanks for caring guys, you mean the world to me.

Rainex

2007-08-03T12:05:00.000-07:00

A WORD FROM THE WISE

Well guys I guess we owe you a mini explanation-I mean we disappear
for weeks on end, then write crap!
There is a very good reason for this-
1./We have been overcome with Snape lust because of the new Harry Potter
film.
2./A new job which includes being chastised by the general public.
3./A bit part in Transformers as a wheel.
4./A nasty caffeine withdrawal-I got a Starbucks stool stuck up my bum.
5./A visiting relative who cries all night, drools and generally screams the
house down. You can tell which side of the family he's off of can't you D?
6./I dreamt that I was married to George Roper off of George & Mildred and
he was a pimp daddy.
7./I had a haircut that very nearly made me look like Chrissie Hynde-I was
not amused.
8./I got chatted up by some carrot crunching yoik with space for dental items like
teeth. Yep I've got a way with the men folk.
9./I give up!
10./There is no 10

p.s a 1 of these is not true.
Haheha

Right and just to add the piece la resistanceI am off on hols for a couple of weeks!!!!
Must do better when I return.
Lindy, ML, Etoile, Butterfly, HB love u babies!

Rainexxx

Becka mmm

2007-06-25T12:21:00.000-07:00

I'M NOT BITTER JUST VERY VERY SOUR

I think this is it.
I mean it.
Lesbo valley is the way to go.
No more men.
Men are evil.
Men are bad.
Bad for me.
If I could draw- you would see a big upside down face.
Mine!

Sol watched me crying like a teenage girl down the phone to my
dear sister-thing. He was rather amused.
I was bawling.
I expect Raine was holding the phone at arms length.
(I was!)
When I had finished my little rant I made Sol drive me back to
his hotel room.
Yes I was ever the optimist.
Sol staunchly ignored me and ordered an evening meal of lobster (yuk!)
Oysters (gag!) Mussels (I'm sick now) and something which could only be
described as (Eeeewww!)
And a fruit platter.
And a bottle of Cristal for me.
I phoned Mal.
He made all the right noises and sounded very sympathetic.
But he obviously wasn't going to get off his fat arse for me tonight in the
rain.
Until...........
"Oooh you should see him Mal, he looks like the perfect man, really beautiful
and his eyes so sparkly light in his face!"
"Mmm." Mal.
"Did I tell you...........he.............never.............goes.......down?"
"On yew?" Mal giggled.
"Yes sadly on me!! But himself, he's perpetually hard. He should be called
The Rock, oh no someones already called that!!!! He's so magnificent!"
I sighed.
Mal sighed.
"On mai way!" Mal hung up.
I grinned.
What could I do with a South African guru, a bisexual Scotsman and a platter
shellfish?
Please don't answer that!!!!!

Becka MartinXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

2007-05-22T13:55:00.000-07:00

ALAN'S NOT A HAPPY GUY

Which is perhaps the understatement of the year!

I smiled at him encouragingly (although it was hard to smile

with all those tubes coming out out all over the shop)

He was too pale but his eyes burned like hot black coals.

"Bitch!" He hissed.

The twins sat either side of him, like sexy cats really, so

louche, they could lick my cream any day of the week!

They smiled at me.

Sol came in and grinned rather too widely.

"You can send him out for starters!" Shuddered Alan, the boys patted

him down.

"You'd better go mate." Said Jude apologetically.

"I knew I should have brought some grapes." Grumbled Sol, he

winked at me. "I shall wait in the foyer, lobby, whatever. I take it that

you will come for me later?"

I'd come for you anytime baby. I thought and nodded.

Sol's eerie eyes blazed, was this guy hot or what? Sexy, scary,

perpetually hard and probably a mind reader!

I turned my attention back to Alan.

"Baby." I said and kissed him, he edged away from me.

"I want you out Becka, out of my life, my head and my bed, now

this minute take your shit out of my home and just fuck off! You

nearly killed me this time, no more now. Just go."

"Alan." Said Quinn and tried to get him to remain calm.

"And you little buggers! Don't think that I wasn't aware what you

have been up to with Becka! You all treat me like a fool, but I only

give you enough rope to hang yourselves with see? You still here?"

This was to me.

"Well yeah! I'm not going anywhere you will have to have me dragged

out before I go anywhere! I love you Alan, I know I'm not the best girlfriend

in the world, but I'm funny, cute and damn good in bed." I smiled.

2 minutes later Sol watched a burly Security man (or woman) I could not tell

as they had breasts, carry me out and dump my arse on the pavement outside the

Hospital.

An Orderly laughed. "Hey love they are normally carried into here!"

"Fuck off!" I said and Sol winced.

"Sorry."He said to the Orderly:"She failed the audition for Big Brother

and it's gone to her head!"

"Shut up!" I said and started to cry, was this the end for me and Alan?

Becka M

p.s Sorry about delay and all Raine going crazy at new job etc

2007-05-05T12:24:00.000-07:00

BOOGA booga

I sat at the back of the cab and looked at Sol, his crisp trousers
looking for the world like a veil over a snake.
"Becka cut it out." He said coolly and nodded to the cabbie who
was also intently watching me in his mirror.
Pervs everywhere!
The cabbie grinned and winked at Sol, Sol swore under his breath.
In a weird way it was the same disapproving action that Alan might
have made.
Alan!
Here was I scrutinizing a man's crotch whilst my beloved could be
dying!
Did that make me bad?
Was I evil?
Am I going to hell?
I could not resist another sneaky peek.
"Becka you are doing it again." Sol's voice was deeply irritated.
"I'm just fascinated, do you have to strap it down? Have you
ever got into trouble with it? Have you been arrested for lewd
behaviour?" I licked my top lip.
I caught the cabbie's eye in the mirror.
Poor guy he had beads of sweat on his forehead as big as peas.
"I won't tell you again, cut it out." Snapped Sol his eyes narrowed
and his forehead lined like a loaf of Mother's Pride.
Cool.
I'd pissed him off.
I love it when that happens.
"When was the last time you...." I lowered my voice (but still
loud enough for my audience to hear) ...came?"
"If you continue with this line of questioning I won't be responsible
for my actions!" Sol was livid!
Hee hee!
"Uncomfortable?" I said and squeezed his knee:"Quick BJ help yer?"
The cab driver swerved slightly.
"Hey!" Shouted Sol and hit the Driver's headrest:"Watch the bloody
road! And you... (This was to me) behave yourself or I might have to
punish your frail little frame!"
I grinned Chesire Cat styley a spank in the back of a cab was definitely
the way to go! I shivered in anticipation.
Sol looked at me in disgust.
"Tell me you are not getting off on that?" He almost pleaded.
"Uh huh." I nodded.
"Me too." Said the Driver.
"I'm going to need this Hospital at this rate!" Said Sol and turned
away to look out of the window.
My labia deflated sadly like a punctured balloon.
Boo hoo.
I looked at the cabbie, young, not bad, bit Eastern European 80's
kitch about the collar but even so:"Don't suppose you'd be up for
a bit of mutual masturbation eh mate?"
I swear we nearly went into a bus!
And no Sol didn't let me.
With him or the cabbie.
The cabbie didn't get a tip.
And we didn't buy the grapes.

With love and kisses Becka Mmmmmm

2007-04-21T12:37:00.000-07:00

ACHY BREAKY HEART

My mobile sounded like Snow Patrol's Chasing Cars, which was odd as
it was meant to sound like San Saens Danse Macabre.
"Yus?"
"Becks it's Jude, listen Alan's in hospital, heart attack, oh Quinn wants a
word." The phone was passed, I could imagine their fingers touching
lightly, the warmth and slight roughness of their skin.
"Becka, c'mon girl we need you here." A gasp, then the phone hung up.
Shit!
I ran around the room swearing and flapping like an albatross with ADHD.
Sol caught me, held me to his chest, I could feel his smooth skin and his
erection.
"Tell me what was said." His voice was commanding. I told him viciously.
I glared at him.
It was all his fault.
"If Alan dies." I warned.
"Then he dies. With life comes death. Sometimes." His eerie eyes burned
into me with their smoke effect.
I imagines Master Skinner would have sold his soul (and his best set of ropes)
for eyes such as this. He had to resort to coloured contacts.
Sol was the real deal, though just what he was hadn't filtered through yet.
He was bona fide odd.
And it was his fault.
"Alan's had a heart attack, take me to the hospital." I commanded.
"Please?" I asked.
"I'll be your best friend." I wheedled.
"Please?" I whined.
"I'll dress." Said Sol and let his gown fall to the floor.
Something else fell to the floor as well.
My jaw.
He was absolutely perfect.
I gawped.
His eyebrows raised. "Had a good look? Want me to do a twirl or something?"
Sol teased.
"Yeah." My tongue felt thick and dry as a kebab shop's salad.
And he was still erect.
I frowned.
"Don't you ever go down?"
"No." He said and gingerly pulled on a pair of trousers, Italian and
luscious by the cut.
"Not even to pee?"
"Shut up." He grabbed his car keys. He smiled:"Do you think we
should bring grapes?"

Becka M XXXXXXXX

2007-04-19T12:21:00.000-07:00

HELLO MY LOVERS

Well it's that time again, my birthday 20th (old- damn it) Raine's on
28th (older hehh hehh).
Do I care that I'm older?
Broadly speaking yes.
But.
Always a but.
I'm still in great nick and can go forever (if you know what I mean!)
Who gives a shit?!

Back to.....................
Waking to the smell of fresh coffee and realising I'm laying on a
bed laid with crisp Egyptian sheets (I know this as I worked in a
departments store-cheap they were not).
Sol had been insistent that I return to his hotel with him.
It was like a compulsion, a man that I didn't know taking me
to his bed, how could I resist?
No it didn't happen like that.
Alan had a bit of a funny turn and whilst the twins tried to help
their old man, Sol took this opportunity to lead me away (astray?)
He passed me the cup of Espresso.
"Take it black, good for the head." He said with a twinkle in his eye.
"I bet you say that to all the girls." I sipped the bitter brew. Yeuch,
if coffee was like men I liked mine sweet, milky and insipidly warm.
I checked him out.
He was wearing a dressing robe of a taupe colour, it went well with
his dark skin and light eyes. He looked like a shaman, (Guru-off!)
Even in my complete mind fucked state I could see an impressive
erection tent pegging his gown.
He smiled.
"It's not for you. Actually it's not for anyone, that's one thing I don't
do." He sat next to me on the bed.
"What are you one of those Tantra people?"
"I won't warrant that with an answer. You fool. Sex is for mortals ."
I looked at him:"Are there any other kind?" Sexy but damned crazy.
My luck.
"Becka just accept it, the world has an army of stiff dicks all for you,
but this one is a civilian."
"You don't half talk a lot of shit." I said.
I glared at his bulge.
Could this be a new challenge?
"Don't even think about it! Besides everything else, I'm old enough
to be your Father, so a bit for respect eh? I've travelled a long way to
see you and you are everything and more then Patrick said you would
be."
"Do you find me attractive?" I tossed my hair.
He looked me up and down, he grinned, fab teeth.
"No." He says.
Then with an irritating twinkle:"Not yet anyway."

Becka M XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

2007-03-25T13:18:00.000-07:00

THE BEST THINGS IN LIFE ARE FREAK

Right I'll start then alrighty, this is going to be fine this is
going to be good.
Yeah, that would be a first.
I won't fill you in or start from where we left off I'll start from........
....................................................................................................................
My doorbell ringing like a drag queen screaming for make-up.
It didn't stop.
Nor was I obliged to open it when it was being rung so rudely.
It was rape of a small electric appliance.
It was a headfuck.
It was bloody loud.
And I had a hangover.
A bitch one.
Bloody Smirnoff.
Fucker.
The Lancet have said it.
Alcohol bad.
E's are good.
Or words to that effect.
Oh that bitching bloody muddy doorbell!
I dragged myself from where I had fallen unconscious on the
sofa.
Half my hair was stuck to my face.
Half was stuck up with...I smelt it, yuck BBQ sauce.
I had on my Twisted Sister T shirt!
Dee Snyder was heavy on the blue eyeshadow, but hey it was the
1980's.
Not now, I mean when I got the shirt.
Oh and a pair of faded pink pants.
Nice.
I opened the door and the guy standing there stood back, it must
have been the noxious fumes emanating from me.
Vodka and bile.
Mmmm
Just like Mother used to make.
Then it was my turn to stare.
He was black, very black and tall, taller then Alan or even that big
lox Mal.
He was dressed in a suit, very nice very P Diddy.
But older.
And stranger.
His eyes were the colour of smoke, grey and light and totally alien
in his dark face.
Beautiful.
But eerie.
If he had been younger I would have put them down as contacts.
No they twinkled with humour and recognition.
I looked at my bare legs and saw in horrible detail that they had
stubby hairs growing out like spikes on a cactus.
"Can I help you?" My voice wrecked from a night smoking my guts
out and laughing like a loon had bestowed me with Olive from ON
THE BUSES tones.
What a little star I was.
Wanker.
Me not him.
"No but I can help you."
He said in a voice so posh and cultured it took a Butler and a Maid
to get it to my eardrums.
Jehovah.
"You ain't got to save my soul, I ain't got one." I made to slam the
door in his handsome face.
His foot had managed to get in the door along with the rest of him.
"What the fuck?"
He laughed, richly, chocolate coffee and smooth rum.
"Patrick said you would be like this!"
"Dad?"
"Yes he told me to look you up."
"Who are you?"
"Soloman." He grinned and had a thrilling gap between his teeth,
nearly as cute as mine.
"And you are a friend of Patrick?"
"That and more, of course he knew me by the name of Dada So."
Fudge. Reality went out of the window, Voodoo, Hoodoo.
Crap.
My stomach lurched badly and I had to run to the loo.
Soloman followed me in and held my hair (how embarrassing!)
whilst I brought up ..............well you don't want to know really!
I was crouched there elegantly making sounds that would make
a bull hippo proud, with a strange S African holding my hair and
dressed in pants and a grubby tee (me not the African).
I chuckled deep in my chest, imagine if Alan was to see me now,
or the twins?
You know the drill!
"I guess there is a relevant explanation for this?" Said Alan, yep
he was standing there with the twins.
All looking at me like I was a Salem Witch.
Burn her!
Solomon smiled.
"I'll come back tomorrow." He moved so quickly, glided like one
of those yoga masters- yogis?
"Just who are you?" Demanded Alan.
Solomon looked him up and down and didn't even warrant him with
an answer. He just kept walking not even looking back at me.
"How fucking rude!"
The twins were laughing like drains.
"He's a friend of Patrick." I gasped dryly.
"Oh that explains everything!" Alan was fit to explode.
"Oh Rebecca, pack a bag, we are going on a journey."
"Who is this bastard?" Snarled Alan.
Solomon leaned right into his face. "I am your worse nightmare,
the man who will take Becka away forever."
He smiled.
I placed my face against the cold toilet and felt every pulse in my
body.
Alan looked bewildered.
The next second he joined me on the floor.

Becka We are back Martin xxxxx

2007-03-08T11:54:00.000-08:00

BAH BOO BABY

Well times are a changing-who knew?

Which part of downward spiral do we not understand?

Becka Mxxxx

2007-02-12T13:07:00.000-08:00

HEY GUYS-WHAT HAVE I DONE FOR ME LATELY?
or VALENTINE'S DIS-day

Yeah I'm back and I'm still pretty fuckable!
The twin escapade was really not worth the sense of impending doom
I seem to be left with.
Some eegit would call it guilt.
I just call it bad timing.
Valentines is here and I hope to hell Alan doesn't get all romantic on
me as I just might have to kill him.
I'm listening to The Gossip, Beth Ditto is my new fav gal. If I was a tru
gay gal I might be happier.
You tell me?
No don't-pleeze!
Just looking at that Rimmel ad with Mossy:"It's da London Look!"
Mmm be better with a black eye.
Or s copy of The Big Issue.
Alan Alan Alan, I've been faithful to you for nearly 2 months.
My pants are practically begging for teeth to take them off.
I'm going now to read some porn and eat some apple strudel.
Raine will no doubt be eating her body weight in chocolate by
now.
Missed all of u and so sorry for delay. Will try to blog at least
on a bi-weekly basis from now onwards!
Ho-hum.

Besty Becka M XXXXX

2007-01-02T04:11:00.000-08:00

FESTIVE

Dr Hassan pulled on my jaw for all her worth, nope it
didn't click back.
The twins stood either side of me, trying to stifle their
giggles and failing miserably.
The good lady Doctor finally managed to put her hands
in my mouth and kind of re-hooked my jaw bone.
Yowch!
"Whatever were you doing?" She asked.
I shrugged and was stuffed into one of those surgical collars
that made me look like a sinister German geezer.
"Whatever you did, please don't do it again!" Said the Doctor.
"I can assure you I won't!" I snapped and glared at the twins.
Now all I had to do was go home, get back into the house
and try to explain to Alan why I was now in a neck brace.
I'll blame the peanut butter sandwich.
Easy!
HAPPY NEW YEAR GUYS! Let's hope 2007 is a pretty
do-wop year!

Becka M & Rainex XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

2006-12-23T06:34:00.000-08:00

CRUMBS!!!!!

I am dogged (some would say a dog).
I'd come for a sandwich and I was having a sandwich.
No alternatives.
However the kind of sandwich I wanted, 2 slices of white bread,
peanut butter and a big glass of chocolate milk was going to be
replaced by 2 hot boys, buttery sex and a glass of er....well
you don't really want to know that do you?!
"Please." I said.
"Please me." Said Quinn.
"Please you." said Jude.
I was so naked within seconds and I only thought of my empty
Annie being filled with twins doing the lurve thing!
Roasted? Well not exactly as it was far too frantic for that. It was
a scrabble of sex, kisses on my clitty, breasts, bum, my mouth finding
smooth male flesh and beautiful throbbing dicks.
It was so fast, all I could hear was panting, moaning, breath on my neck,
someone kissing my eyes and stroking my hair.
My mouth filled with Jude's cock, Quinn licking my cunt and filling me
up with one smooth thrust.
"My turn!" Said Jude and he entered me as soon as he had pushed his still
hard brother away.
I grinned it was good.
Gooooood!
But I'm a generous soul, to finish I put both their dicks in my mouth at
once.
Neither was the smallest of fellows.
And yes I have a big mouth!!!
But nobodies mouth is that big and as soon as they had rasped against
eachother and filled me with er.....Christmas joy, my mouth gaped
open like the mouth of Jacob Marley.
Aaah.
Oh yeah dislocation time baby!
"Shit." Said Quinn.
"Crumbs!" Said Jude.

Becka M XXXXX

2006-12-16T13:41:00.000-08:00

THE SEASON TO BE JOLLY

Good golly, crumbs and festive greetings!

Good Golly is the place to start:
A rather outdated expression which would have the PC brigade
wetting their cacks with it's racial connotations. I wasn't thinking
about any of that, I wasn't thinking at all.
Merely I was making myself a late night peanut butter sandwich
and a chocolate milkshake (as you do).
"Hey." Said a low voice, jumping up in shock. (oh there is a perfume
called Jump up and kiss me-I am not making that up! Go google it
if you don't believe moi!)
Curled up looking like the most gorgeous hunka hunka sex was the
lovely Jude. He was sitting in a leather armchair just wearing boxer
shorts. He was reading a copy of Mayfair (the articles are soooo good!)
He even had on the cutest Matrixy style glasses you ever saw, I
wanted to lick his eyebrows!
"OH!" I sez, standing their in my Betty Boop nightie.
Then I smiled.
He smiled back:"How busted am I?" He smirked.
"Jude you are a man, you are not busted if you want to have a wa....ah
personal time, you can do that." I sounded like a lady virgin.
"Maybe I would like to have some personal time with you." He pushed
aside his mag to reveal a rather promising tent in his shorts.
I grinned, shallow I know!
"Where's Quinn?" I asked.
"He's behind you!" Said Jude straight out of a pantomime.
"Yeah right!" I turned:"Oh shit Quinn! You made me jump you little
bugger!"
I felt all silly, shaky and vunerable, either of these boys would
turn heads, together they were dynamite!
"Didn't mean to make you jump." Said Quinn, he really meant:
But I wanted to make you come!
"Um I should get my sandwich and go back to bed."
"You should." Said Quinn.
"She won't." Said Jude.
"No I don't think you are going to make it as far as the door without
your legs shaking." Said Quinn, he looked at my nightie, my nipples
were sticking out like pepperpots!
I tried to go.
I did.
Jude stood up and placed his arms around me."Stay." He said.
"Stay." Said Quinn.
I could feel big spasms doing the judder thing.
I was acutely aware that I didn't have any knickers on.

Christmas was coming early.
And my goose wasn't even cooked yet!

Becka Mmmmm

2006-12-03T08:27:00.000-08:00

I NEED MONEY NOW

Shriek!!!!
Christmas is just around the corner!
AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH
AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAA
HHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Seriously I won't last at this rate!

So if there is a kindly publicist who wants to make a grotty
girl happy-please apply!!
Quick we are waiting for your call!

Rainex & Becka M (but mainly Rainex-she the needy one!)XXXXXXX

2006-11-26T10:08:00.000-08:00

MONKEY'S UNCLE

"Why is it with you I always find myself wanting to hit my
head off a wall closely followed with yours?" Panted Alan, he
was striding along the road in the style of Darth Vader. I felt
very miffed, namely because I was trying to light a fag and
it had started to rain.
"I have that effect on most men." I shrugged, stopped, lit my
ciggie and inhaled the cool green menthol flavour. I don't care
what Raine says I'm never bloody well giving up!
"Even Mickey Bastard Straw?" He stopped and turned, not
a trace of sweat on his face and I was dripping like sweaty
Helga the Goatherd.
"Especially Mickey, I could really really wind that fucker up."
I said with some satisfaction and blew the smoke threw
my nose in the style of The Soup Dragon warming my winter
hooter up. N.B Americans hooter is British for 'nose' not titties.
"I'm crazy in love with you." Said Alan and kissed me on the forehead.
Very Priestly, all that black and repressed sexuality.
Bless me Father for I have sinned, now put your hands down my
draws haw haw! This is why I never made it as a Catholic girl,
oh and being slightly Jewish didn't help.
Come to Mummy!
Next minute we had fallen over one of those dwarf hedges and were
rolling around someone's garden, snatching eachothers clothes
like old women at a jumble sale.
Alan really liked sex in public, I just liked sex so it was a good match.
My head hit something hard (no not that) it was somebody's shoe.
Looking upwards I saw the most lemon sucking face I'd ever seen.
He was about 50, his glasses were very thick, he had something in his
hand, long, very long.
Shwing!
Nope it was a hosepipe!
No he did not do that!
He turned it on full pelt drenching us.
"Oh sorry!" He said, not looking a bit sorry.
"I thought you were cats or foxes fighting!"
"How bloody astute of you!" Said Alan lifting me up, giving
spec-man a good glimpse of my hairy annie!
His mouth dropped open.
I squealed.
Alan rolled his eyes and stood infront of me.
"Everyone's seen your snatch by now!" He grumbled.
"I hadn't." Admitted the man.
"Well we will be off then." I offered.
"Yeah sorry." Said Alan and we stepped over the small hedge.
"Oh and thank you." Said the man, this time he definitely had
something in his hand.
I giggled all the way home.
Perverts everywhere man! I always find them glory be!

Becka Mmmmm ushrooms

2006-11-15T12:54:00.000-08:00

NURSE BITCHY AND PRICKY MICK

"Whoah Mister!" I grabbed Mickey's arm, that didn't stop him, I
hung on like toffee on a dog's tooth.
"This is my job girl, do you want me to arrest you?" He stopped
abruptly and I fell onto his chest which winded me in the process.
Ooof!
"You are getting old and you want to lay off them fags." Said Mickey
sagely but perhaps inappropriately as at that second Alan appeared
and his already sullen face fell into dark and angry lines.
Mickey laughed and peeled me off him:"Keep her, but if I was
you mate I'd consider an upgrade, she's getting old and puffy
now!"
"Bloody cheek!" I wheezed like a kettle. I punched his arm.
Bastard.
Alan looked furious but said nothing, which was scary, he's
so tall and dark, I had visions of him flying at Mickey like
a psychopath.
Not that he didn't deserve it.
Not that I would have cared.
"Mick, will Ruth be alright? Is she going down?" I said earnestly.
Mickey leered.
"Saucy! Ruth's victim, namely Justine has dropped charges,
I assume you will too?" I nodded. "Then it's just a fire arm
charge and being the uber-nut she is I shouldn't worry that
she won't end up in a funny farm instead of clink."
"Oh she'll like that, she always like farms." I smiled.
"Because she's an animal." Muttered Mickey;"Don't forget I've
got lots of hold on you girly what with knocking me out and helping
your Dad escape."He grinned:"That can wait until I'm bored,
you owe me about a zillion favours bitch!" He went in to
give Ruth the 3 degrees chuckling wildly.
Alan glowered and paced like one of those scary Mullahs,
I expected him to punch himself in the head at any moment.
"I wish to hell that bastard get's his come uppance!" From
this Alan decided to kick a basket containing used paper cups
high in the air.
"Oi!" Screeched a nurse:"Stop that! I'll call security!"
"Great another fool with a badge! Why don't I start a frigging
fire then we can have a whole collection of arseholes!" He
was getting mental.
The little Nurse was livid and humourless.
"Sounds like a straight Village People, who will you be?
Teacher?" I grinned imagining Alan singing YMCA, Mal
could wear the feathers, he'd like that.
"I mean it." Warned the nurse and Alan deflated just like
that. The Nurse straightened proudly aware of herself
and her own powers.
"Sorry." He picked up the cups:"I just have a girlfriend
who can't keep her knickers on for longer then five minutes
and her friends and lovers are the kind of people you cross
the street to avoid." He placed the last cup in the basket."Are
you single, you look nice, young, pretty."
The Nurse suddenly went all silly-stupid. I forget sometimes
that Alan is a good looking man and he's imposing.
I scowled at her, what a little bitch in her starchy dress.
"Why? You asking?" She simpered, yuk get me that basket I
need to vomit!
"I'm asking." Said Alan.
"Well as it happens, I am." She smiled.
"Stay that way, less complicated." Alan turned on his heel
grabbing my arm in the process. "Come on dopey."
I allowed myself the luxury of looking at the nurse over my
shoulder and pulling out my tongue.
"Security!" Screamed the Nurse down the phone.
Alan and myself decided to run.
At our ages exercise is very important.

Becka M XXXXX

2006-10-31T10:56:00.000-08:00

Hallowfuckineen

Happy all Hallows Eve-
I'm sucking something with a big purpe head...........
it's a lolly you perves!

I give up really I do!

Mad Becka and Loopy Raine XXXXXXX

2006-10-21T10:06:00.000-07:00

I WAS FEELING BLUE HAH-HA

Could I live without Ruth? Small destructive person, human
dynamite, jelly doughnut.
She was so bad for me, she reminded me of a Venus Fly-Trap,
exotic, dangerous, intoxicating and ultimately very bad for
your health. Not to mention your sanity.
I stood by the chocolate machine in the hospital foyer and made
the life defining choice of having a Snickers or a Lion Bar.
Had to be Snickers, still better then Reese's whatnots!
I started to cry, I could not blame it on the chocolate.
I felt so tired, older, grottier and certainly more confused.
I wanted to phone Mal but I just couldn't face him.
A hand touched my arm, looking up I saw a big bald head and
a square jaw.
Yep.
Mickey Straw!
I pulled back like he had leprosy.
Fucker!
"I hate you!" I hissed.
"That's disappointing." He said in a voice so scathing it should
carry a health warning.
"You! Don't you start with me! I mean it Mick, my life is so
low, I just can't take anymore of this shit!"
"I've come to talk to Ruth, not you, ok? Is that alright
sweetheart?"
He made Ray Winstone look right cuddly.
Bastard.
I bit my chocolate and a little caramel slipped over my lip
like a veil (non political, just descriptive!) Mickey's eyes
dropped and I could almost feel his heart beating faster.
"These trousers were not made for stiffies." He grumbled
and walked towards Ruth's room.
I had to stop him, Ruth, a Copper, an erection and a bed
was far too scary to think about.
And it wasn't even Halloween yet.
"Stop right there!" I said in a voice worthy of Helen Mirren.
He didn't stop.
I threw my chocolate at him.
It stuck to his shirt.
Shit.
No chocolate.
Bloody waste too.
Whoops, Mickey looked at me in the way a bull does in the
ring with Bugs Bunny.
I think a cheesy smile might just work but................

Becka M xxxx

2006-10-08T02:51:00.000-07:00

DOOLALLY

One shaved pussy later and I was sitting next to Ruth's
hospital bed squirming. Fucking shaving, I could practically
feel the ingrowing. Bastard.
Ruth lay like a small battered china doll, her rough bottom
lip at last still from her chewing. I wondered whether I should
put some salve or Vaseline on it. I decided against it. It was too
intimate.
She opened a bleary eye.
"Sit still can't you?" She said in a quiet, breathy little voice.
"Um one shaved snatch later and that's the last thing I can
do. I'll try." I said.
"Shaved?" She managed a small smile."My favourite."
"Big mistake though, looks like a Christmas turkey
with pox." I mumbled and held her thin hand.
"Well we all make mistakes, even I do sometimes." She
said.
"No really?" Humouring her was the key.
"Yeah, kidnapping is not what it's cracked up to be."
"What do you mean?"
"No kids and no crack." Ruth said, I guess the morphine
was doing it's bit.
"Does Justine count as a kidnapee? She's hardly sentient."
I laughed, Justine always made me so happy in a
superior sort of way.
"Sentient? Not in the bedroom anyway, I've had better
head off hairdressing dummies." Snorted Ruth and winced
in pain.
"Hurts?"
"Only my pride and losing you." A pirate grin.
I pulled a face:"Let's not talk about that now, let's talk
about Nurses, the black haired one with the tits is
rather pretty."
"I liked the young African one with the scar."
Said Ruth.
"Doctor's?"
"Bastards!" Said Ruth.
"Even the women?"
"Especially the women." assured Ruth.
"Then that leaves?"
"The Health Care Assistants! I like it dirty." Ruth
smiled and giggled:"MRSA get's me hot."
I laughed aloud:"You bloody twit!"
"Yeah but you love me." This was not a question,
I turned away and brushed away a small tear.
Bothersome thing.
Angela stood in the doorway with Justine, talk of
the devil! I wished I had some salt to throw.
Preferably still in a mill.
"What are you doing here?" I snapped.
Angela shrugged:"You ask me-I didn't want to
come but Justine was adamant."
"Don't you ever." Said Ruth.
"Tell them that your handsome." I finished.
"You shut the fuck up!" This was Justine to me,
I stood up to face her.
"Remind me never to save you again." I said.
"Ditto."Snarled Justine, I could see the whites
of her eyes, but that did not count.
Ruth pissed herself laughing in bed, no really we had
to buzz someone to sort her out.
"I didn't think you would be incontinent until you
were a bit older." I said.
Angela and Justine looked at me shocked that I
could put words to such a thing.
"How old?" Said Ruth.
" 'Bout 40, when the alcohol had done it's bit."
"Haven't shit myself yet." Said Ruth proudly.
"That's something to look forwards to."
"Yeah nice to have goals!" She said approvingly.
"I don't understand!" Wailed Justine.
"I don't think we are meant to honey." Angela said.
Ruth looked at Justine:"Come here." She said.
Justine crouched over her like a Woodcut of
Death. All that Donna Karan.
"Closer." Said Ruth.
Justine sat on the bed:"Is this close enough?"
"Yeah!" Ruth's eyes looked like Jake's out of
the Scissors. Shinybright.
Nothing happened.
"Oh shit I was gonna headbutt you but I
can't lift my head! Becka can you help?"
"I'd like to but it sort of ruins the spontaneity
doesn't it?"
"Somewhat!" Said Ruth.
"Well really!" Shrieked Justine:"I've come all the way to
see you, even after everything, you are such a nasty
little bitch!" She jumped up.
"Cute though." I winked.
"Yeah." Said Angela:"Like a Rapter. Are we
finished Justine? Shall I take you home? Or do you
want more humiliation? She doesn't wan't you and as
from now, neither do I." Angela stood up proudly.
"Bravo! That's a girl!" I clapped.
"I hate all of you!" Scowled Justine and fled the room
bawling. I felt bad. Then I didn't.
"Sorry Ange." I said.
"Why should you be sorry? You the instigator of everything
fucked warped and whack?"
"Hey whack! I like that, very cool." I said approvingly.
"Can't you just stop? Really, act like an adult it's not too
late." Ange pleaded. There was an edge to her that I'd never
seen before.
"Sorry." I said.
"I should think so." Said Angie.
"What I want to know is what time does the bar open?"
Said Ruth. We both ignored her.
"Can you give me a lift home?" I asked Angie. Cheekiness
used to always work with her.
She shook her head:"I don't think I want to know
you anymore." She left the room.
"Oooh." Said Ruth.
Oooh indeed. And ouch. Angie was fine.
Shit.

Becka M
xxxx

2006-09-25T12:00:00.000-07:00

RAMBLING RUTH AND MAD BECKA

"I should see Ruth." I said exhaling a delightful plume
of smoke from my right nostril.
"Mmm." Said Alan.
"What do you mean Mmmm?" I did not like that voice
one little bit. Ok maybe the moist bit of me did, the bit
which was enjoying the hand service he was administering.
"The girl is bad news."
"She's my best friend!" I defended her honour.
"She tried to kill you, shagged me, slept with your boss's
girlfriend, tried to shag your Dad. That one was beyond
me actually, how anyone could go near that terrible old
bastard is a mystery." He pulled one of those faces.
"Hey!" Bloody hell he was assassinating my friend and Pa!
(Not literally with a gun-just enough to irritate me.)
"I just think Ruth is a catalyst, the kind of bitch who
sparks the fire in others, easily led fools to do her bidding."
He grinned at me:"Sorry, but gullible is your middle
name."
"Well it's better then Hortence!" I said hotly.
"What? Never mind, Ruth's probably got her family with
her." Said Alan.
"I am her family."
"Jesus."
"Becka." I corrected.
"I'm getting old."
"Getting?" I laughed.
"Don't be cheeky, Miss Grey in the fuzz."
"Eh? Oh, bastard!"

Becka M XXXXXX

2006-09-16T05:47:00.000-07:00

GROUND RULES (Not to be confused with
Groundforce with Charlie Dimmock and her
wobbly titties)

"Don't you ever say that again you little bastards!"
I snapped at the twins. Ma indeed Ma my arse!
"Chill Becka, we think it's great, we always have, you
know we like you don't you?" Said Jude and sidled
up to me in a snaky way, he managed to get his hand
under my dressing gown and onto my bare arse very
quickly. I moved away as rapidly as if he had been
John Prescott. Ehhh!
"Enough of that already! What is wrong with you both?
You've always known Alan was your Dad and you....."
I got nearer to them and whispered:"And you've
always tried to get me into....Positions, compromising
positions!"
Quinn laughed:"If it's good enough for the old man then
we thought it would be good enough for us!"
"What a terrible thing to say! I'm disappointed in you
Quinn." I said in a school Mistressy voice.
"Yeah I've been bad, do I get a spanking? Please."
His eyes twinkled, he was special this one, but then so was
Jude and Jude was a very dirty boy indeed.
"Look don't mess this up for me guys!" I tried as hard as
I could to look stern and menacing:"I've let Alan down again
and again, he's giving me a chance and I aim to take it.
You know I think you are both perfect and I'm weak
willed, I can't help it, perhaps I have a hormonal imbalance!
But I'm asking you, no I'm begging you. Don't screw this up
up please?"
I fluttered my eyelashes. The twins looked at eachother in
that old telepathic creepy way twins have.
"Ok." Said Quinn finally.
"Yeah alright." Said Jude.
Then they both burst out laughing.
They were laughing at me!
Little shits.
I pushed past Jude and grabbed a carton of Um Bongo.
"Pricks." I hissed.
Just outside the door I heard Quinn say:"Don't worry."
"She'll be..." Said Jude.
"Begging for it!" In unison.
Help me!

Becka M

My name is Becka Martin and I'm a sexholic-live with it.

2006-09-02T12:46:00.000-07:00

SHEET

"So the twins are your sons?" It hung in the air like a cartoon
bubble- sons, jeez, I put up with a lot of crap or what?!
"I wondered how you would react." Said Alan mildly.
He might just as well said 'immature bitch queen'.
"I bet you did! How did you expect me to react? Alan those
boys, well they are men! You must have been a kid, you dirty
little bastard! Oh God I'm speaking in bold look what you've
done to me!" I gripped my throat dramatically.
"Have you quite finished?" He said with as much humour as
my Ma-in-law at a gay club.
"Just tell me they are not Pru's." Of course I couldn't change
anything if they were, I would just feel better, imagine, Sons
of Pru, oooh!!!
"No most definitely not." His eyes flickered like polished onyx
I have no idea what that means or what it looks like but it
sounds cool!
"So who is their Mummy and where is she?" Did I really
want to know?
"Their Mother was called Helena and she died many years
ago when the boys were just tots. Her kidneys failed, she
waited ages for a transplant, it never happened, that was
back in the dark ages before people carried Donor cards.
She just never got her match." His eyes looked misty.
"Did you love her?"
"Yeah as only a teenage boy can, passionately, wildly,
do you know that we actually planned the pregnancy?
We were crazy, our parents went ballistic!" He laughed
and I could see he was looking back in time to his youth.
"We worked it out that we could marry and bring the
boys up when I had finished school, we were helped
enormously by our parents, especially when they saw
what a good job we were doing with the boys. It was
hard, but work is light when you are happy! And I was
happy, never more so with my girl and the babies. I
went to school by day and because I looked older I got
a bar job, I was so tired! Then Helena got sick, we
couldn't cope and the parents had to help more.
Eventually and sadly Helena's older sister Janet had
the boys to stay with her. Then Hel died. She was just
18, the boys were 3. Everyone thought it was for the best
if Janet had the boys for keeps. I became a sort of uncle
I guess or older cousin. They know who I am of course,
I'm their father but not their Dad. That's Steven Jan's
husband's job. I love them of course, they are my boys."
He smiled simply and I think I'd never loved him more.
I kissed his face.
"OK." I said:"I'll get a drink and see what they are up to
in the kitchen."
Alan nodded:"Does it change how you feel about me?"
"Yeah." I said and left it hanging in the air, but I did
wink.
In the kitchen Jude and Quinn sat on the counters drinking
milk straight from the carton like an advert for aftershave.
Jude grinned:"Did he tell you?"
I nodded.
Quinn smiled:"Then I guess that makes you..."
"Our Ma!" Finished Jude.

I was less then impressed.

Becka Mmmmaaaaa

2006-08-12T13:13:00.000-07:00

WHAT THE?!

Alan did that hunchy thing with his shoulders, kind
of between a cringe and and shrug, Americans would
say he looked adorable. I however knew him that much
better, he looked decidedly shifty.
"Go on then." I said as encouragingly as a Northern Woman
from an Alan Silletoe novel.
He smirked, grimaced and finally smiled.
"Those Twins." He started.
Go on go on go on go arn! I thought in the style of Mrs Doyle
(Father Ted).
"They are not my cousins." A ravishing smile:"They are my
sons." He said simply.
2 hours later when I had finished screaming, we discussed
this.

Becka Mmartini xxx

2006-08-01T11:11:00.000-07:00

DOT-CUM

"Will you love me when I'm old and grey?" I said
fluttering my eyelashes and squeezing my vagina
which was tightly clamped around Alan's doopy-doo.
"You will never be old, as for grey, well I think I
spied your first grey already." Said my lover as he
pushed me up and down like a kid on a see-saw,
(ooh that sounded eeewww but you know what I
mean!)
"I've been going grey for years." I said and tucked a lock
behind my ears.
Alan shook his head:"No I mean a grey on your fairy-ann
my dear."
Hmmph!
Hollywood here I come.
He bit my neck like Vlad (or Gary Oldman) and ran
his fingers through my damp hair (on my head!)
and traced strange patterns into my sweaty skin.
Lush.
"Let's not talk about love, see Ruth tomorrow and
see how you feel." Alan said quietly.
Suddenly we heard a smash from the kitchen.
I clung to Alan my heart racing.
"Calm down. It's only the twins staying for a few days."
"Oh." I said, oh my gosh!
I grinned.
"Not sure if I like that smile much, anyway perhaps the
time is right to tell you a little secret."
"I don't know if I want to know any more secrets!" I gripped
his thin face. "Not more shit huh?"
"Past shit, shit that shouldn't change anything, shit a lighter
shade of shit." He grinned.
Bastard.

Becka MMMMMmmmmm

2006-07-17T14:06:00.000-07:00

IN LUST WE TRUST

We were so excited we couldn't get our clothes off.
They flopped around us like fallen petals,
lumpy,
bumpy and completely in the way.
We were kissing with big! Open-mouthed kisses
like we were trying to inhale eachother.
My hands shook as I stroked his thin hard buttocks.
I begged him to fill me up.
Alan was too busy eating my nipples like they were
M&M's.
I swear I screamed.
My clit was so hard it chaffed against my g-string madly,
I had to finger myself.
Just had to do it.
Alan slapped my hand away.
"Don't be so greedy!" He kissed and breathed into my ear
making my toes curl and the hairs on my snatch stand on
end.
Then he awkwardly began to pull down his boxers to
reveal quite a tasty banana boiinng!
"Let's see what you can do with this." He muttered.
What would you have done with it?
Answers in the dustbin please!

Becka MMMmmmmmm!

2006-07-01T03:51:00.000-07:00

MONSTA

I awoke in Alan's silky dark bed which smelled of
sandalwood, it was the kind of feeling you don't want
to end.
He lay next to me, his shrewd eyes watching me
regain consciousness.
I was dressed in one of his dark shirts, very modest
and demure for me.
He was fully clothed, he hadn't slept with me, giving
me space and sleeping on the couch.
Last night had been good, he'd brought me back, run
me a lovely bath. Kept his distance whilst I bathed.
Then fed me chicken strips and pizza, by hand, with
my head resting on his shoulder.
Then he had solemnly given me a spare toothbrush
and bade me goodnight.
But Alan was here now.
" 'Lo, how long have you been there?" I asked stretching
and yawning, aware my breath was a shade pepperoni
and hoping he wouldn't kiss me until I'd brushed my teeth.
"Awhile." He said ambiguously and tweaked my nose.
Then the realization of what had happened last night
floored me like 3 fat guys doing the cha-cha.
Shit.
Ruth!
Beads of sweat burst from my brow and I began to
shake.
Alan frowned, pulled me to him and said:"Sssh, it's
alright."
That was what I wanted to hear, not:
1./Marry me
2./Have my baby
3./Do you fancy a menage a trois?
4./I have issues
5./Who let the dogs out?
Just It's alright.
Ok it was not earth shattering, but it did the trick.
I kissed him demandingly, forcing my tongue
between his clamped teeth.
One eyebrow raised with amusement.
"Stop acting all Anne Diamond and kiss me properly,
like this." He kissed me gently, like soft velvet, somewhere
deep in my groin, something went pop, something that
had never popped before.
He grinned:"You little Monster!"

Becka M

2006-06-21T06:44:00.000-07:00

SUBLIMEY

So blind me?

Bastard men.
Women too.
I'm going to be celibate...........
..........see, I lasted!

My lovely sister Raine was waiting at the copshop for me,
she had that tight lemon sucking look to her mouth.
She wore that a lot when she was with me. Her husband
D looked at me with his usual confusion, he was still trying
to work out what I was.

My own mouth was doing lots of pully downey motions
like it was wired to a string.
I had a strong feeling I was going top cry.
"Don't say anything!" Warned Raine, she had my lovely
old Adidas cardie which she wrapped around my shoulders.
Raine turned me around and in a blur of Cops, felons
and complete strangers, I was face to face with Alan.
For once he was not scowling.
He looked good.
He wasn't wearing black.
His hair was cut short.
Fuck-he was smiling!
"Ruth..."I Mumbled.
"...Will survive!" Finished Raine:"You however Madam
need to take it easy."
"I should see her." I was trying.
"Tomorrow." Said Alan and I'd forgot how deep and rich
his voice is. Mmmm.
Tomorrow was a day ripe with possibilities.
Tonight was a jaded old hag that needed to be put to bed.
Cool.
"Alan, what next?" I whispered, scared to touch him,
scared of everything my life had become.
"What do you want to happen next?" He asked me,
his head to one side. crowlike and lovable.
"I want to rest." Yeah a silky bed, a cool drink,
something to eat, what's that stuff called? Oh yeah food!
"Then so mote it be."
Said Alan.
At least that's what I heard.
I left the copshop with a blissed out smile on my lips,
made all the sweeter by the murderous look Mickey
Straw gave me.
When I slipped into Alan's crapola car, I swear to God it
turned into a Pumpkin!
Alan laughed as I rested my weary head on his shoulder and
let him feed me stale wine gums from the glove compartment.

Tee!

Becka M XXXX

2006-06-09T06:04:00.000-07:00

TROLLEYED

"Easy Becka, EASY!" Said Mickey Straw (for it was he) as
I threw myself at him, a bundle of grief, anger and disbelief.
He restrained me, that terrible screaming would not stop,
would someone shut that bitch up? Oh ok it was me.
I stopped.
I really mean stopped.
I stopped screaming,
thinking,
being,
I crashed heavily to the pavement and even my skinned
knees didn't make me start again.
Next minute CopGirl Kate sat down next to me and covered
my body with a blanket.
I was still naked, but oblivious to the cold or anything.
"Listen Becka, you have to listen. Oh Mick I think she's
going into shock!"
I don't remember the next 20 minutes or so.
Later Angie would tell me that my head flopped terribly
like a broken marionette.
Apparently Mickey slapped me, twice sharply across the cheeks
and Angie swore at him.
CopGirl Kate made him wait by the car.
I weed myself.
How undignified!
Justine did nothing. The dead don't.
The dead.
"Earth to Becks!" This was Angie, she twisted my nipples
very hard!
"Aaaah!"
"Houston we have contact!" Angie kissed me:"Ruth is alive,
ok, alive, she lives! "
I was shaky on my feet but Angie and believe it or not Justine
helped me to dress.
I had not heard the ambulance arrive and take Ruth away.
I missed the:"She's got a pulse!" Moment.
But I did not care, it was as if someone had robbed me of all
my strength away in one go.
I was whacked.
I wanted Alan.......
and strangely enough........

Becka M

2006-05-29T13:19:00.000-07:00

RUBBING THE SORE BITS

I edged nearer feeling too nude, too exposed and
painfully aware how nuts Ruth was getting.
Hey I was looking at Justine for clues, how low
can you go? Lower!
Angela had wound down her window, she was
shaking.
Or maybe she was just looking at my arse.
Justine was practically blacking out, the gun was
making ugly marks on her neck.
Time to make some moves.
"Ruth, you don't want her sweetheart, I'm your
girl, let her go. I'll come with you now, anywhere,
whatever you want to do." All the time I was advancing,
I was really glad I was not a man as my willy would
have looked ridiculous bouncing about. I had enough
trouble with my titties and they are really small.
"Stand still! Stop talking! Let me think! What is
it with the crackpot psychology? I'm already up to
my ears with shrinks, you don't have to start!"
Ruth had broken out in a sweat, her small face
glistened feverishly.
"Becka just back off!" This was from Angie,
she had crept out of the car and stood very near, too
near for Ruth's liking.
"My head's hurting!" She shrieked and the little
gun lifted momentarily away from Justine.
I was going to rush Ruth, chuck the gun away,
give her a good pummelling and tell her what a
bad, mad girl she was. Angie would look after Justine,
years down the line we would laugh at this-
this moment..........
in time.
A gunshot.
Women screaming.
I was howling like a banshee.
Ruth lay, covered in blood!
Too much blood.
Dying.
I held her to me, her eyes sparkled and she smiled,
that same pirate smile I'd fallen for as a kid.
As a woman.
Somehow in this last minute her craziness had gone,
she laughed.
"Kiss me dummy!" She whispered.
I was kissing her and then it was over.

Becka M xxx

2006-05-21T02:52:00.000-07:00

I SHOULD BE SO LUCKY

So I'm standing there in my panties, bra and aura
of embarrassment with 3 dykes, a gun and hair that
badly needs a trim.
"The music has stopped, what next, charades? I-spy?
Hmm?" I was irked, that was an irked voice.
"Wait a fucking minute!:" Ruth fumbled with her cds
again (oo-eerr missus!) "This will do it, some say it's
a classic."
Kylie Minogue.
I Should Be So Lucky.
Oh what the hell.
It was classic alrighty.
I pranced around like one of those posh show jumping horses.
Except I didn't have a small fat girl on my back.
Don't ask me what I was doing with my rosette.
But my petite audience seemed impressed.
Lucky lucky lucky!
My bra sprang off like Spiderman jumping off a building.
I wiggled my arse coquettishly.
'Cept I didn't have a coq.
I eased my panties down to the ground.
How low can she go?
"See no wires, appliances or any Mickey Straw influences,
I'm as bare and pink as a prawn sarnie." I smiled at
Ruth. "What next? Mutual masturbation and a chorus
of Rule Brittania? Trip to McDonald's? "
I was talking complete gibber.
But I don't think anyone noticed on account they were
looking at my twat.
"Come here." Said Ruth, in a misty Brokeback Mountain
voice.
Hey that film did my head in, Gay Cowboys with sheep-
will I ever sleep again?
So I walked over, carefully avoiding dog poo and such.
Upclose Ruth looked rough.
Rough Ruth.
Justine looked terrified and transparent, I could see her
brain cell.
"This is going to be smooth, very smooth, trust me,
everything will be ok." Said Ruthie.
I hate it when people say that.
What happens in films when people say that?
Shit happens.
"I trust you." I lied.
"No you don't." Said Ruth.
"Course not, but I do hope you are not going to muck all
our lives up on a whim." I said.
Justine tried to shake her head.
"What's wrong with her?" I asked.
"Apart from being the world's most insular person
and a lousey shag you mean?" Said Ruth deadly serious
now.
"Mmm." I said.
"Could be she know what is going to happen next maybe."
Ruth smiled. Not a nice smile. A shitty smile really.
I really wanted to pee.

Becka M

2006-05-14T14:01:00.000-07:00

RAINEX TAGGING INTERLUDE

ML has tagged me-so here goes, 6 things about me!

1./ When I'm drunk I think I'm really really funny,
however I'm pretty sure I'm not. At all.

2./ My hair is from hell, no, scrap that, my hair is from
McDonald's.

3./ Alan Rickman is God. At least in my universe.

4./ I don't go big on china dolls, it's the eyes man.

5./ Having kids has really made me grow up-but I'm
having a childish revival. My oldest son is deeply ashamed
of me. That is how it should be.

6./ Queues-can't do it. Sweaty, nasty, shaky and that's just
D having to deal with me! Seriously I need to move into a
country that either has a quicker system or I can just push in.

Mad Becka will continue when I can be arsed.

2006-05-04T12:35:00.000-07:00

RHYTHM OF THE NIGHTY

"I need music." I said truculently.
"Get you Prima Donna!" Scoffed Ruth, but she was
on to it, dragging Justine with her, she turned her
CD player in her car on at full whack.
Wow.
The dulcet tones of Mudd, Tigerfeet, filled the air.
"Ah, that was not really what I had in mind." Really
how could I dance to that and keep my self respect?
"For FUCKSAKE!" Shouted Ruth, removing the Cd
she lobbed into the night, whilst still clamping her
petrified girlfriend tightly.
"Yep best place for that, what was it? Hits from the
70's?" I asked.
"No! The best of Glam Rock, shit I loved that disc!
Bolan was on there and Bowie and Wizard!"
She fumbled in her glove compartment for a replacement
song, could I rush her while she was preoccupied? No,
I was rather looking forwards to taking off my clothes
actually.
"This is the one." She said with a warning tone in her
voice.
It was Kate Bush.
Wuthering Heights.
"Make it good, do that wobbly dancing." Said Ruth.
"Ah I think that was special effects and I haven't
got the hair you know?" I felt really silly.
Heathcliff, it's me, it's Cathy I've come home.
Silly mare.
Should have run away.
And here I was dancing like Kate Bush on a traffic
island in the middle of the night with 3 women
with varying degrees of mental illness.
Sweet.
Could have been worse.
Could have been Babushka.
Ya ya.
Why couldn't she have played The PussyCat Dolls.
But soon I was grooving away, my clothes melting
away.
So co ho ho ho hold, let me in a ya window!
Sometimes I wished I could always be naked.
This was not one of them.
"Oh Becks you dance so beautifully!" Said Ruth and I could
see a tear in her eye.
The song finished and I was still clad in panties and bra.

Becka M

xxxx

2006-04-28T11:58:00.000-07:00

AMAZING GRACE

I pulled lots of encouraging faces much like a chimp
in a zoo. Ruthie wasn't buying it.
I wasn't buying it.
"Stop wiv the faces!" She screeched out in her dulcet
South London tones.
I stopped, but funny enough my face wouldn't.
My lips pulled into ridiculous shapes and I had an
urge to wink and leer like a pirate.
I was very close, close enough to see that the usually
immaculate Ruth looked much like she had been
through a hedge backwards.
Justine was marginally better off, that's embalming
for you. Her eyes rolled like a cow in a slaughterhouse
(hey how dramatic was that?!)
"Becka, I really don't know what to do." Said Ruth in
an eerily soft voice.
"Don't do anything baby, let me look after you." I said.
Ruth snorted.
"You? Sorry I think I might have pissed my pants,
you, who can't cook, clean, keep a job or a man, will
look after Me?" Her head was cocked on the side in
disbelief.
"Well I could try." I slurred:"Gotta be better then
spending your life behind bars for murder." Oooh
big mistake.
"WHAT? WHO SAID ANYTHING ABOUT PRISON
OR MURDER?" Screamed Ruth and pressed the
little gun into the thin flesh of Justine's neck.
Angela made a shrill little sound from inside our car
and opened the door.
"Stay in the car Lardarse!" Ruth yelled.
"Angie! STAY PUT!" I ordered, this was getting
out of control. "Look." I said and sat down on the ground
crossed legged and with my arms raised. "I'm unarmed,
please just calm down eh?" I did the old Ren and Stimpy
big eyed thing.
Works everytime with the ladies.
"Stop with the Stimpy eyes." Snapped Ruth.
Or apparently not.
Ruth looked at me shrewdly.
"Mickey Straw." She breathed.
"Huh?"
"Has that Copper wired you? Take off your clothes
bitch." Ruth snarled. Oh God she was really gone!
"I though you would never ask." I said coyly.
"Don't flatter yourself sweetheart, but you might as
well make a good show of it eh?"

Becka M xxxxx

2006-04-19T08:35:00.000-07:00

30 SICKS

I'm a birthday girl, what am I doing? I'm sitting in a layby
with Angie spying on my Ex best friend and her cadaverous
girlfriend-hostage.
I feel very Cagney and Lacey, although I am far too slim to
be Lacey, I'm not blonde enough to be Cags. Who am I
kidding? Myself as usual but it keep s me happy and
off the street.
Angie is looking good. Oh my word does she. Still heavy,
but a diet of worry and lack of sleep have trimmed those
stubborn pounds.
"Look at that bitch!" Hissed Angela Grade.
I peered at the two fair heads held tight together in
the Ford Ka and shrugged.
"Which bitch?"
"Your bitch!"
"Oh Ruthie, yeah, not classy like Justine but a real trooper."
I nodded approvingly.
"God almighty!" Angela laughed strangely.
"What?" I enquired as I lit a small cafe cigar as it made
me feel Stacey Keach.
"You still after everything like her, don't you?" Her voice
was heavy with accusation. Trouble with Angie heaviness,
food, words, sex, all calorie laden and triple thick goodness.
I winced. Yeah I did like her.
I liked alcohol, cigars, cigarettes, anonymous sex.
All bad for me though.
Why not a complete psycho?
"Ruth is my heart. Anything else is just going through
the motions." I said finally.
"I hate you sometimes." Said Angela darkly. I had hurt her
too the quick. She had loved me and I had rejected her
for a guy, now here I was flaunting hot girl action in front
of her.
"Whoops." I said.
"Indeed." She said sourly.
"Look, all can be salvaged, I'll grab Ruthie, you get Justine,
just don't grab her too tightly, she'll snap. Everyone a winner
and we both get the girl." I half shut my eyes:"Life is good."
Then Ruthie stepped out of the car with Justine, she held
a menacing little gun to her head.
"Becka! This is your birthday present, I'll blow out her
brains for you." Screamed Ruth. Yeah what every girls
wants, not diamonds, holidays in the sun, no just body
matter hitting the kerb. Groovy.
"Um chocolates work better actually." But I was shaking.
"Think fast you cunt!" Said Angie (this was to me in
case you were wondering.)
I got out of the car slowly, like a professional wuss I held
my hands above my head.
"Tell Meatfeast to stay in the car!" Shrieked Ruth.
"Charming!" Muttered Angie.
Justine's eyes were rolling like a cow on a Ferris Wheel
(no I don't get that either).
I grinned #sharply, winked, could my magic work for me
now? Did anyone care? Are you reading!?
"Baby!" I said and walked forwards.

Becka M

2006-04-14T00:56:00.000-07:00

HAPPY EASTER-CHICKS!

Hope you all get stuffed (with chocolate)
and Mad Becka will resume after the
holiday!

Love ever Rainex and Becka M

2006-04-06T06:08:00.000-07:00

DUVET VOU?

I was stuck to Mickey, literally, sweat, cum and desperation
had made a firm bandage. He wasn't going to let me go.
I tried to peel my skin away from his a little and felt that
cool chill that goosebumped my arms and hardened my
nipples.
I pulled the quilt around myself and looked at Mickey
sprawled like the big horny copper he was.
"What are you thinking about tatty-head?" He said
making me frown. It was the tattyhead part which did
it, I ran a hand through my matted hair.
"I'm thinking about Ruth, she really needs to do my hair."
"I think she really needs to see a psychiatrist, that would
serve her better." He sparked up a cigarette.
"I'm going to have to see her, she wouldn't really do
anything to Justine, at least I don't think she would.
Would she?" I pulled a face, 'course she would, the crazy
little fool!
"I think Ruth is going to end up somewhere nice and secure,
I also think that you deserve a bloody butt paddling
after cracking me over the head like that! I couldn't
believe it really, not you of all people." He leaned over and
let his tongue flick my nipple.
"Well bloods thicker then water." I said weakly and felt
my quim thrum with anticipation.
"Really? You're Dad is the kind of man we have always
hated Becks, posh arrogant and seedy."
"He has good points." I shifted uneasily.
"Yeah? Name one ." Mickey blew smoke in a perfect 'o',
it broke up on my belly.
"He's a nice guy." Even I knew that was a lie.
"Piss off!" Scoffed Mickey.
"Ok! He loves me right? Loves me without wanting to
fuck me, or manipulate me, or anything really. Just
plain old fashioned dad-daughter love." (Yeah I know
he did try to manipulate me but I wasn't going to admit that
to Mickey.)
"I don't believe that. Even the Pope would want to
fuck you!" Mickey laughed.
"That's blaspthemy! And filthy! Patrick is just about the
most interesting guy I've ever met. I'm sorry I hurt
you, really I am." I kissed him.
"Mmm, still thinking of lezzing out on me?"
"Let's just say I need some persuading!"

I lay back warm, sticky and in no way aware of what
was going to happen, now, later or ever.

Which was just as bloody well.

Considering.

Becka M xxxx

2006-03-30T11:36:00.000-08:00

KILLING ME SOFTLY WITH HIS SLONG

Water water everywhere and not a drop to drink.
Hell no.
I drank plenty.
"Had enough?" Said Mickey as he pulled back my
hair.
"Nah, put me under again why don't ya?" I swear
my mouth..........
Icy water and the sound of my blood pumping in my
eardrums.
He pulled me up, I winked at him and smiled.
He roared and drove my head under again.
When Mickey pulled me up this time I allowed a
jet of water to arc from my mouth.
"Wanker!" I said as the moisture trickled down his face.
"Oh fuck this! I can't do this!" He shouted, the next moment I
was lying on the floor with him on top of me.
"God I've missed you." Mickey sighed.
"Have ya? I've been too busy fucking other men and having
sex in the street to think much about you." It was a lie alright!
But he had just attempted to torture me and after all that
LilacLace and Exit stuff he really should have known better.
"Cow." He said and rightly so.
"Make it up to me." I said generously.
"How about I fuck you to death?"
"Sounds pretty groovy apart from the death bit, how
about you just fuck me deaf so I haven't got to listen to any of
you stupid fuckers anymore? I'm definitely becoming
a lesbian after this, for sure!"
His hand was tracing through my pubic hairs making me
tingle and twitch. I moved it away.
"Stop with the foreplay and get fucking!"
And you know what, he did.

Becka Martin xxxxxxx

2006-03-21T08:43:00.000-08:00

WISH YOU WERE HERE?

"Which part of fuck off don't you understand Mick?"
I said yet again to the foolish uber-cop who was
plumping (literally) for answers about my Father.
"You think you're pretty funny, what you don't realize
love is that the jokes on you. You are a slapper,
your the one now with her arse in the air getting reamed
out with the curtains open." This was punctuated with a
violent thrust of his hips.
"Look honey I've done it in the street with an audience!
You have nothing new to throw at me, so hurry up and
finished, I'm bored and more likely to come if you just
leave!"
"Bitch!" Snarled Mickey and lifted me (still attached) to
the bathroom.
"Boring!" I said with a yawn.
He swore under his breath and filled the sink with cold
water.
I raised my eyebrows:"Bit small for splash and tickle."
"I was thinking more on the lines of splash and interrogate."
His eyes sparkled then he drove my head under the
water.

Becka M

2006-03-13T11:12:00.000-08:00

MAD BECKA'S 2ND ANNIVERSARY
14TH MARCH

Big thanks to you guys who have stayed with
me from the beginning and all the new friends
I have collected on route!

Becka M xxxxx

2006-03-11T05:23:00.000-08:00

REWIND

The rest of the journey back to London was in the
silence that only comes with a total lack of respect
for the people you are with. It stunk big time. Still,
we managed to stop off for food in Little Chef which
is always good for social anthropology. Those Waitresses
are getting younger, wet behind the ears? Nah meconium
baby!
Alan is the only guy I know who can eat a sausage with
the same threat and menace as a pack of hyenas with
a gazelle.
Mal, well he was marginally better I guess, he stuck
to poached eggs on toast. Not much menace there, unless
he coughed I guess.
Me? What do you think, steak and chips and one of those
really disgusting banana splits.
Yeah and my banana had split, it was the black thread
of rot that went through it and my whole life really.
When Alan dropped off Mal it got even tenser, I really
wished I had an inhaler or something. His shoulders
were knotted, his eyebrows knitted, eyes slitted, I guess
his dick must have retracted in horror.
Fuck I love you, you stupid mad English Teacher.
I sighed.
"Ok." I said when we stopped outside mine.
Alan said nothing as I got out and then he took off at warp
speed narrowly missing an old lady and a Yorkshire
terrier.
Mmm. Better get in.
My flat smelt very stale and musty. Yuck.
But still fresher then when Ma and Jasper sat
smoking umpteen ciggies every second.
I slumped onto the sofa.
I heard a sharp intake of breath.
"Becks you are a naughty girl." Came the harsh and
sexy Mickey Straw drawl.
Fuck.
"Mickey....!"
"Don't say a word!" He snapped:"Anyway, I'm more
of a man of action, get on the floor girlie and spread'
em. Fucking strip search time!"

Strangely this relaxed me.

Becka Martin xxxxxxxxxxxx

2006-03-03T08:06:00.000-08:00

LAZY ROTTEN RAINEX

She is still milking this flu thingy.

Becka M

2006-02-22T13:11:00.000-08:00

RUTHIE'S RAMPAGE

"Ruth has flipped out and taken Justine hostage! What's
worse is she's nicked Angela's car and that is a fucking
nice piece of work, Chrysler very sexy, oh God my life!"
I held my head in my hands, I felt a nose bleed coming on.
Any blood and Alan was going to be wearing it. Bastard.
"What are you going to do?" He asked.
"Me?" I glared at him:"Nothing. Everything. First I have
to see Mickey, then we'll see."
"But why has she flipped? What would make a perfectly
nice girl like Ruth turn nasty?" Said Alan, his voice
dripped sarcasm like Pete Burns at a Baywatch reunion.
"That's Cute!" Laughed Mal.
I sighed, it was hard being gorgeous.
"Ruth has realized Justine is a poor substitute for me."
Alan laughed hysterically:"Oh God women! You are
all crazy!"
"No just the ones you screw." Said Mal.
"Don't I know it!" Barked Alan :"It's your ego Becka,
it will get you one day. One day you will be all alone."
I smiled:"I'll have a mirror."

Becka Martin XXX

2006-02-18T04:44:00.000-08:00

MEN ARE FROM PENIS WOMEN EAT MARS

"We could stay ye'know." Said Mal:"At mine,
not face the music, talk, chill and shag like
bunnies!" His large handsome face devoid
of make up was like a movie star only bigger
and less shiny.
I gave him what Miss Pollard would call an
evil.
Being a bloke he was oblivious to this.
Alan being a prick, was not.
"Well you two can do what you want, I'm
going back to London." He managed to
curl his lip just so, in that way that made us
feel like extras from Goldie Looking Chain.
"Yes I want to go back." I turned to face Alan:
"I doubt that we will see eachother again, this
is way too messy." This was the end, really
really!
His eyes flashed angrily:"How dare you? I make the
rules now! You've led me by the dick for
nearly two years and in this time you have been
a foul and damaging influence. You Becka Martin
are a very dangerous person!"
"Get yew Prince Charming! Why don't ye jus'
marry the hin? Get on with it!"
Mal gave me his dazzling smile full of shit
and sincerity. "If aye liked pussy, yew would
be the one hin."
"Well thanks a fucking bunch." I lit a cigarette.
"I feel sooo much better now."I glared at him:"You
liked my pussy just fine."
"Sometimes I really think I hate you." Said Alan,
either to me or Mal but who cared as neither
was listening. We were eyeballing eachother like
Crystal meth-heads.
But as usual one of us weakened and grinned
like an ape. That would be me.
All I could think about was Mickey Straw, God
he would kill me this time.
I phoned Angela for some gentle clarity.
"Stop shrieking." Was the first thing I said to
her. "Shit." Was the next.
"Problems?" Asked Alan with all the warmth
and charisma of Jack Dee.
"No, just lesbian stuff, no biggie." I lit another
menthol.
"Just Ruthie is off the wall again and this time
she has taken Justine for the ride. Literally."
"What?" Said Alan.
"Just wait to you hear this!"

Becka M

2006-02-14T01:54:00.000-08:00

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY GIRLIES
AND GEEZERS!

HOPE YOUR WOBBLY BITS ARE WOBBLED
AND YOUR WET BITS WETTER!

LUSH!

2006-02-09T13:35:00.000-08:00

HARD WOMAN

That's me that is-hard. Cruel. Backcombed hair
and a cigarette. Is it fuck. I'm a soft sooky wuss
with as much fibre as a Wotsit.
"Bye." I said without looking up. Patrick and Catherine
The Geek got out of the car.
"That's it?" Said Alan:"No fulsome goodbyes or retributions?"
He had his sarcastic t-shirt on. I ignored him.
I tried not to watch my elderly Father and his drunken
witch wife totter off towards the airport.
"Yew are harsh!" Said Mal and he sounded shocked,
approving mind, but still shocked.
Patrick didn't look back.
"Oh crap!" I jumped out of the car and legged it after
them, aware of how ridiculous I looked and how
bad I felt inside.
"Pa!" I grabbed his arm, his ice-blue eyes sparkled:You
are still a filthy murdering arsehole, but....I love you!
Don't be a stranger huh?"
"Come with me." He said quietly:"New start for all
of us."
"Nah. Can't. Commitments and all." I smiled.
"Well I think.." Said Catherine, but we both shushed her.
"I'll be in touch. Such a pretty girl." Said Patrick and
stroked my face. I felt this awful glug in my chest
that threatened to have me weeping, snotty like a five
year old. I kissed him, wetly, hopelessly, I'd only had
him five minutes!
After awhile Catherine pulled him away.
I felt better.
Then I got in the car with the Fuckwit guys, oh
lordy.
Fucking handbags at dawn.
"Whatever you say, whatever you do, nothing will
fix this mess." Said Alan.
"Know what Al? I don't care, let it ride, let it be.
Whatever." Alan Hmmphed, I gave him icy
shoulders.
I texted Angie. 'WHAT'S UP IN LESBOLAND?'

I grinned, Mal laughed as he drove singing (badly)
Angels by Robbie Williams in the style of Billy
Connelly.
Alan made Charles Manson look right friendly.
A hitchhiker would piss his pants to be picked
up by us!

Becka M

2006-02-02T09:12:00.000-08:00

TALLY 'HO!!

"Where exactly did you tell him to put his
dick?" Asked Mal.
I groaned, I'd only told him about 4 times already
but it was definitely tickling his fancy.
"I told him to stick it in a plug socket as he is such
a wet willy. Ok? Enough now, I need to think."
"Get yew!!" Mal chuckled happily to himself like
some giant ginger hen. Alan was not laughing.
He was tinder.
One spark and he would go off like a rocket
and not in a nice way.
I had called Mal a scheming, heartless she-he
who got off from getting between couples and
fucking them up (truly). But he had laughed
and agreed, what a good judge of character I
was! Which was not the effect I was after.
Patrick got the worst, I had said that with
every fibre in my being I was a Martin and if
I could vacuum the Beamish DNA out of my
body I'd happily do it now. I was repulsed by
him and hey, you know how tolerant I am of
odd folk. He said he was sad I felt that way, he'd
offered to help me and I had thrown it back
in his face like the guttersnipe I was.
Good, I said, better to be scum then to live
off scum. I called him a leech.
He warned me to be careful.
I mooned him.
No mean feat in a leotard I can tell you!
Catherine I had called a festering vapid vampire
(like all of her family really), but this did not
register on account of her being pissed.
So now we are on route to the airport in Edinburgh,
there, hopefully we can off load the old cargo to
S Africa where they can rot.
Alan Alan Alan.
If a body was anymore rigid the embalmers would
be there.
I'd charged my mobile.
11 missed calls from Angela.
1 message from Raine.
I'd phone Angie in a bit.
Sister-thing's message left me cold.

WHERE THE FUCK R U? M STRAW VISITED
NOT HAPPY!

Shit.

Becka Martin xxx

2006-01-28T12:10:00.000-08:00

MEN AND MOTORMOUTHS

It's that morning feeling, you know, furtive
glances, shame, embarrassment, did I shag that?
I know it all too well, alas for Alan, eye contact today
was hard work for him and as for Mal! Sweet Jesus,
he looked all Bambi after his Ma had been shot.
Hmmm bet you are wondering if they had hot boy
action together? No? No actually, meaning yes,
oh fuck I've lost my thread. Mal gave Alan a blow
and Alan did enjoy it. Then he freaked out big time
and called us both a pair of cunts, how could we do
that to him? Then Mal gets all offended and accused
Alan of leading him on. Then Alan had a frenzy
so loud Patrick and Catherine shouted from their
bedroom for him to hush up. Then Alan and Mal are
shocked that Patrick is talking and demand to know
when he recovered.
Then I burst into tears and got completely ignored.
I felt like Jodie Marsh.
And now it is morning and Patrick is making everyone
French Toast (eggy bread for you dullards).
Dullards, I've been with Alan too long.
I wanted Sister-thing Raine, Ruthie, Alex and
Mickey Straw.
Not Eggy bread!
Everyone sat around the breakfast bar like The Last
Supper, I sipped my coffee and looked at Patrick's
face.
Boy was he pissed with me still!
Catherine looked like she had been sleeping with
the entire cast of Bumfights.
Alan looked like a candidate for Ritalin.
Mal looked like a Scottish Tranny, so manly was he
that he made Grayson Perry look convincing (though
still more convincing then Camilla).
"Well this is comfortable." I said.
Nobody replied.
"I hate you all." I said with feeling.
Then I told each in turn what I thought of them.
Not pretty.
Or clever.
But boy did it clear the air.

Becka M xxxxx

2006-01-23T07:53:00.000-08:00

DELIRIOUS

Wipeout! The one thing I love about sex is the fact
you can lose yourself to your body's own needs and
impulses. I felt like a shucked shrimp laying there
with two men catering to my every need, every
twitch and jerk. Cool! Ok ok I'm a dirty 'ho, so what?
I just melted into a frenzy of tongues and fingers
exploring every inch and every taste of me.
If I was the Queen I would have that kind of treatment
everyday, I mean what's the point of a crown if
you can't make people do things to you? I don't know,
maybe she does, that's why old people walk so slow-
all the sex when they were young finally get's to them.
And their dicks.............mmmmmm
What a way to go, Alan gorgeous, mine, tolerant soppy
bastard. Mal, also mine in a girlie way, but he seemed
to also get a kick out of watching Alan.
All that thrusting.
Suits you Sir!
One moment I was sandwiched between two hot men,
next I'm riding on Mal's back whilst giving Alan a BJ.
Unreal.
Call me lucky.
Now if Ruth was here I would be in Fuck-Heaven UK.
Maybe even Mickey Straw.
Or the twins. Mmmm twins, now that would be a dainty
dish to set before the Queen.
I felt Mal and Alan both start to tense and strain, oh
come on! Not now!
But yes they came.
In me.
And that made me come too.
We lay sodden and sticky, just our breathing heavily to
show that we were still alive.
Mal's sexy eyes were watching Alan intently, next moment
he began to stroke Alan's firm chest.
"Don't." Said Alan, with his eyes shut.
Mal grinned and his hand slipped lower.
I held my breath.
"Don't." affirmed Alan, but his dick started to slowly rise.
Mal held the semi hard member in his hand and stroked
it's moist head.
"D..dd." Mumbled Alan, his face reddened and his eyes
opened. "Becka." He said.
"Go with it." I said assuringly.
Mal bent and kissed and sucked.
"Oh fuckedy fuck!" Said Alan.

Yep that said it all really.

Becka M

2006-01-17T06:23:00.000-08:00

FUN WITH DICK AND BECKS

I remembered Ruth yanking down my knickers
and examining me like the consummate professional
she would be.
"Very nice, be prettier when you get a bit
of fluff." She commented.
"I suppose you are already covered in hair?"
I said, Ruth grinned and pulled down her pants
to show her hairless slit.
"Nah, no hair yet, I'm not sure if I want it." (Ruth
would later become one of the first women in
the UK to go for the Hollywood wax). She always
liked her lines clearly defined, even then.
We all thought she was odd, square even, who
would know she would be a trend setter
and a damn good shag?

I sat back on the lodge step grinning broadly
to myself like a nutter. Fucking Ruth! She
had me all hot and bothered. I decided to find
Alan. He shared the bed with Mal, the space in
the middle (for me) empty. Carefully so that
I didn't wake Mal, I sneaked in between them.
I began to stroke Alan's belly, enjoying the
smoothness and the crispy hair as I moved my
hand lower.
Mmmm.
He moaned and turned in the bed, seeing me he
smiled sleepily.
"Keep your hands to yourself." He whispered:"Though
it would be nice." The exibitionist in Alan could not
be quelled.
I pulled my top off and wriggled out of my panties
waking Mal accidently. He looked at me questionly.
I gave my head a tiny shake, he caught on and
pretended to be asleep, the bloody pervert!
"We will have to be quiet." I hissed and got on
top of Alan, stark naked with Mal watching me
through slitted eyes I straddled my prey and
gently moved my hips.
Mal was good, really good, but he could not hide
the sheet infront of him rising like a sail!
Good job Alan didn't see it, would have scared him
half to death! It was scaring me!
Alan grinned and fingered my clit as I rode him,
I reached behind me and massaged his balls.
He stopped grinning and reached up to suck
on my titties frantically. Mal's fingers snaked
out and began to stroke my bottom, that tore
it, I came to juddering halt. Alan bucked
and shortly came.
"Sorry." He mumbled, embarrassed he had come
so quickly.
Next thing I knew Mal was slipping through the
sheets and going down on me!
I was disgusted (yet strangely turned on) as he
lapped up my come and Alan's.
"What's going on? Oh I say!" Yelped Alan, he
began to pant like a man torn between doing
'the right thing' or just enjoying what was
happening. He chose the latter.
"I don't know what to say!" He said.
"Then shut up!" Said Mal throatily:"Ye taste
good hinny." Mal winked at Alan:" Don't ye
worry Pal, Aye will save ye some!" What he
meant by that I did not know, either Alan
was getting seconds of me, or Mal was going
to do the same to Alan. Whatever, I lay back
and thought of Daddy.
"This is depraved!" Said Alan.
I nodded, but what was a girl to do?

Becka Martin XXXXXXX

2006-01-11T00:43:00.000-08:00

I PREDICT A RIOT

"You bloody little fool!" Shouted Patrick:"I thought
you had sense girl!"
Tears ran down my face, not only was my father a
murdering bastard, corrupt entrepreneur and
a Conservative MP, he was also very pissed with
me! I fought the urge to say sorry.
"I'm so disappointed in you, but then what did I
expect really? You came from the gutter!" Patrick
threw down his lit cigar butt which fizzled out in the
snow.
I sat shocked and trembling, bastard! I loved him
so much. I needed to get away now this second,
even another moment would be too slow! However
I was fully aware that I was miles from nowhere
and everyone one was asleep. The only thing I could
do was to travel inwards-to hide in a pleasant
memory from the past.
Strangely enough I chose Ruth.
"Whatcha doing?" Said the strange young girl with
the worst bowl haircut I had ever seen.
"What's it look like?" I snapped, she was scrawny
younger then me and obviously a loser.
"Dunno, that's why I asked!" She sat next to me
on the bench near the green on our estate.
"If you must know I'm writing a list of what I want
to get for my birthday."
"But the page is blank."
"That's because.....well never mind. Clear off anyway
I don't like you." I turned away from her:"And you
smell." I added for good measure.
"Charming! Well I think you and I will be good friends
when you stop being a cow .." She smiled:"Here
have a spangle." She passed me a sweet, grudgingly I
accepted it as I was a kid and that's what they do.
"Thanks." I said. I was aware she was staring at me.
"Pretty aint ya?"
"Prettier then you." I said.
She laughed:"I'm Ruthie, I know you, you're Becka
Martin."
"I don't want to know you, you are a funny kid."
I turned away from her.
"Look who's talking! Fuck it let's have a fag."
And there I began a relationship with nicotine
that has lasted many moons. Later that day she
would put her hand down my knickers, for a dare
that is.

Becka M

2005-12-31T11:18:00.000-08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR SHEET-KICKERS!

2005-12-26T14:33:00.000-08:00

FALL FROM GRACE

"The Corpse root from the Corpse tree is very
much innate until activated. To make the spell a
special ceremony has to be undertaken and it is
as dark and terrible as you can imagine." Patrick
said dourly. "Like all Hoodoo or Voodoo as the
cinema people would let you believe, it is very
much a ritual formed on belief that the dead walk
among us and the Gods use us as their playthings.
Dada So had marked out a circle of fire and his
congregation danced wildly around it, drunk and
drugged on hashish and the whiskey I had supplied.
I stood naked but for a loincloth, tied to a stake
and I too was high and delirious."
Oh that was where I got the bondage bug from!
"Dada So began to screech strange and eerie commands
in a voice that was not his own, soon a young girl of
about 16 or 17 was brought through the crowd to
kneel before me. She was sweating profusely but
seemed calm and controlled as she gently loosened
the cloth that covered my manhood."
"No no no! I don't want to hear this! Eeew!" I
squealed repelled at the idea of my father naked
and bound.
"Sssh! Her fingers traced patterns over my chest
and she stood up and kissed me hard on the mouth.
The crowd began to hum and buzz with excitement
as an older woman dressed in red robes danced
with Dada So. By older I mean then the girl,
this woman was about 30 I guess. Live hens were
placed in her hands and she swung them around her
head by their legs. Suddenly and without warning she
bit a chicken's head straight off and placed the still
kicking and flapping body against my chest.
The blood coursed down me, the girl at my feet
began to retrace those patterns again this time in
blood. A second bird was decapitated and this blood
was soon streaming over the girl's hot bare breasts.
I felt very aroused and feverish, the girl mumbled
sweet nothings and mounted me. Someone cut the
cord that bound my hands so I could hold her to me.
She moaned and screamed with her passion.
I was soon rutting as hard and as wildly as any animal
in the jungle. The crowd encouraged me me
with catcalls of approval. Not before or since have I
ever felt that much a man. Male, totally male and
voracious! Whatever was happening kept me hard
without release, if circumstances hadn't changed I
would have gone on all night."
I shuddered, what picture for my tender head to
get around.
"Cut to the chase Pa, no more sex stuff." I said.
"I'm telling you the only way I know how."
He breathed deeply, trying to compose himself:
"Then Dada So stood behind her and I saw a flash-
it was his blade as he cut the girl's throat! No
I screamed! But it was too late, as we crashed
to the ground together and her life blood enveloped
me I knew she was already gone."
"Fucking hell." I said.
"There's more." Patrick said and stared directly
into my eyes. "I withdrew myself from her body
and was shocked to see blood on my penis, the
girl had been a virgin. Dada So became very
animated and he produced something that looked
like a wooden corkscrew."
"Did he stick it up your arse?" I asked hopefully.
"Rebecca this is hard enough, be sensible! He
placed this within the girl, then he rubbed it on my
chest which was covered with her blood and that
of the chicken's. Then he said that for now it
was over, the root would be buried with the girl
and on the 12th night after her funeral I
would have to dig it up at midnight using my
bare hands!"
"This sounds like a really bad movie! You
didn't did you?" But of course I knew he had,
he had done everything required to keep
himself alive, even at the expense of the
innocent. In my eyes he had fallen from grace
bigtime. Drugs, smuggling, whatever, but this
was too much.
"Damn right I dug it up! It was bound to her waist.
Was it worth it? Yes I've had a wonderful life. And
here it is now, look!" He placed a gnarled wood shard
in my hand. "It has been well used that is why there
is not much left. But what there is I give to you,
my beloved daughter. Use it wisely."
I looked at him and his eyes were twinkling, he looked
very much like a Gandalf sort person. If Gandalf was
a murdering bastard that is.
"I can do what I like with this?" I asked.
"Of course." He smiled serenely.
"Then this is my choice." I threw the evil twist straight
into Loch Ness.
I watched his face turn white like the snow and
I laughed at him.
"You are pathetic! If I had known I would have
let you rot in hospital!"

Becka M

2005-12-24T14:32:00.000-08:00

MERRY XMAS TO ALL MY BLOGGIE
PALS-HAVE A SAFE AND LOVELY
FESTIVE TIME!!!!!!!!

Becka M & Rainex

2005-12-19T00:23:00.000-08:00

WHITE DEVILS

"The Corpse Root is fantastic! If you take enough
you literally 'die', that is until you have the antidote.
I took enough to have a heart attack and then
still my vital functions." Patrick said proudly.
I glared at him.
"You scared the shit out of us all and then you crow
about it like Peter Pan! You are an old guy for fucks
sake! Have you no responsibility? What about Catherine?
What about me?"
Patrick laughed:"Needs must when the devil drives." He
purred.
"Don't you cliche me! Don't you dare, when we have been
running around after you and I had to wear scrubs
and a leotard and I looked stupid." I shook so much my
fag as fell down my top." Shit!" I snapped wiping away
the ash.
"Catherine is beyond caring at what I do as long as I include
her, as for you, well let us just say I might have an
interesting offer to put to you." He handed me a fresh ciggie.
"Tell me about Dada So, how did this all happen?"
"As I said before me and So were like brothers when
I left Haiti for South Africa he came with me. He was very
much in his element there, he said the place had a certain
wildness to it that attuned the spirits, his magic was
potent and he soon had a small but discreet trade in
spells and potions. Mostly a white clientele, does that
surprise you?"
"No." I said as I hadn't got the connection.
"The White's had the heavy duty money, the were the
ones who safaried, the hunters of big game, the drug
dealers, the pimps."
"Men like you you mean?" I scanned his face but as
ever it was cool, detachedly smug.
"If you like, a certain kind of man, aging, afraid of his
own mortality, his impotence, his power leaving him.
These guys would pay anything for a hard dick and
remember this was before Viagra. White Devils the
blacks called us, not completely incorrect.
So became comfortable with his life just as mine started
to break down. I was too attached to my opium,
fantasy and dreams, I hadn't done a days work for years,
there was always someone I could pay to do it for me.
Life caught me and I was in a bad way, So devised a spell
that would be my wild card, my way out and my salvation."
Patrick leaned against me. "Please do not hold this
against me Rebecca, remember I was desperate."
"I'll try not to."I looked across the loch and wondered
if spells and magic were true then perhaps Nessie swam
beneath it's satin waters. Yeah right!
I was still waiting for the sex and chickens bit!

Becka M

2005-12-12T07:04:00.000-08:00

DADA SOLEILA AND THE WAY OF THE CORPSE

"Just tell me." I said. To be honest I was a bit pissed
off, all this running around hoo-ha and there he was
large as life!
"Firstly I want to thank you my dear, you have done
very well for me and I am so proud of you." He squeezed
my arm.
"Yes yes!" I said impatiently:"I'm great, I know, get
on with it."
Patrick grinned and puffed his smoke into the chill
air where it made ribbons and swirls.
"I've traveled extensively in my life Rebecca and one
of the most interesting places I have ever visited
was Haiti." Another puff:"A place where life is cheap
and women are wicked!" A deep chuckle:"That is
where I met Dada So."
"So?" I was getting irritable and no pun was intended
even though I had made one.
"Dada Soleila, a great man, we were if you like, brothers
under the skin. For all our cultural differences, he was
the person I could most relate to." He frowned.
"Ok, he was your lover." I nodded, sex, I could understand
that.
"Rebecca!" Patrick laughed and cuffed my ear:"No! He was
my best friend, my confidante and to think he was once
my servant. No matter, what I need to tell you will
explain everything, everything that is about being near to
death."
"Oh I'm not sure I want to know about death!"
"Rebecca, it might save your life one day!
Listen closely, Dada So was a Hoodoo Priest,
every day was spent in some way atoning to his gods
and acting out their will. Of course I thought it was rubbish
at first, you would with my upbringing. I just thought it
was a chance to tear up a few chickens and have
wild sex, so I was happy.
It turned out that Dada So's Real World was very
real indeed.
The dead can rise and the living can act as dead.
Anything is possible."
"If you start on about Zombies I shall scream." I warned.
"You are such a girl, it was a ritual, The Way of the Corpse
that allowed me to have a heart attack."
"I don't want to hear this but, go on." I hoped it would
be all sex and chickens.

Becka 'Freak-out' M

2005-12-05T13:08:00.000-08:00

PLAYED

I was a fool, the worst kind, a fool that thought she
was clever, a real player, when in fact I was the one
being taken for a ride!
How could I not see that Mal had the hots for Alan?
Was I that blind? Apparently so.
Yeah sure Mal flirted, but he flirted with everyone,
even D! And he'd fucked me!
I felt very bad about this though, it was like the
stories you read in Bella, 'Gay Best Friend Stole
My Man!' and now lives next door etc.
I couldn't stand it.
Not Alan.
I was sitting on the lodge's verandah, very much a
suffering Southern Belle (if you could account for
the cold, the snow, the fact I was in Scotland and
a Cockney!) But you get the picture, I puffed away
on my ciggie like it was a lifeline-bastards!
How could they do this to me?
If Alan turned gay on me now, that really would
be it.
End of.
End of life as I know it at any rate.
Those small hours in the night, why is it that you
always have to think about deep shit at that time?
I thought about Angela, hey she could marry Justine
for real now, oh if Justine wasn't already doing the
rug munch on Ruthie that was.
Ruthie.
What was it about the girl that sent shivers down my
spine?
The insanity, the violence, or just the sweet tongue
sending me wild.
If I was truly gay then she really would be my girl.
And she gave a good haircut.
I thought of Alex happy with Sean, but oblivious to
the rest of us buggers, no change there then!
I thought of Mickey Straw and how pissed off he must
be with me and how much I would miss shagging him
as that door had well and truly closed.
I thought of Jeff so sexy, such a bastard and how
happy we had been, correction, how happy I had
thought we were before Estelle.
I thought of the twins Jude and Quinn and as always
felt a cheesy grin spread over my face like Pluto
or something! Those boys, made for love and 100%
Alphas.
I thought of Skinner and giggled, he was my moment
of madness bless his heart!
Mal, dirty dirty bastard! I chuckled and puffed again.
I thought of Raine, D and Aidan, shit I would have
to phone her as she would be worried.
And extremely angry!
I watched my plume of smoke trail into the icy air
and was surprised to see it joined by another.
I turned and nearly pissed my pants in shock!
Patrick stood there smoking a cafe cigar.
He looked good.
He should have looked like shit.
He looked as hale and whole as though he had just
returned from a cruise in the Caribbean.
What was going on?
He sat down next to me and smiled:"I'd better
explain."
"Well, yeah!" I pinched his arm, sure he was real
enough.
Patrick kissed my hair and sniggered.
"Becka, do you believe in the supernatural?"

Becka M

2005-11-28T13:17:00.000-08:00

WOOD-WET, DRY, ETC CONT...(U)

"Mal are you sure your gay?"
For he was doing a pretty fine impression of a
heterosexual and a darned alpha one at that!
"No, give it up." He said and began to slam me ragged
against the side of his sofa. Anal was fun, not my fav,
but pretty cool as far as fucks go.
"We had better be quick, Alan could come back at
any second." I warned. How would I explain that one?
"Bloody hell!" Said Mal and came spontaneously,
bastard.
"I didn't mean that quickly!" I said through gritted
teeth, I was nowhere near coming and left high and
dry!
"It's just Alan, when Aye think of him Aye get
goosebumps." He grinned;"You must have noticed,
he's smashing."
I was the one shivering now.
"What? You like Alan? My Alan?" I must have looked
as thick as Jade Goody, my mouth was hanging open.
Mal grinned.
"Ye are not the only fishee in the sea!"
"But!" I exploded:"Alan is straight and he's mine, you
ginger bastard, hands off!"
As if on cue Alan shuffled in, covered in flecks of snow
and a shit kicking grin on his face.
"You never will believe me but I think I saw something
move in the Loch!" He smiled like a school boy.
"Isn't he adorable?" Whispered Mal.
"Yeah and nuts, hey Al, ever take it up the arse?" I said
nastily.
Alan's eyebrow did a Spock rise.
"What a thing to ask!"
"Oh of course he did, he went to public school." Said Mal
knowingly.
Alan shuffled again.
"Well that's not strictly true Mal, but some people
experimented."
"And you?" I asked, big hypocrite queen that I am!
A further shuffle:"Any one for tea?"
Mal exploded with laughter.

Becka M

2005-11-23T09:14:00.000-08:00

WOOD-WET AND DRY PART ONE

Have you ever driven to Scotland with a Drag Queen,
a Witch, a Cadaver and a pissed off boyfriend? No,
neither had I until recently.
I'd call it brisk.
Yes definitely brisk.
Like cold water chucked in your face.
Alan was certifiable by the time we had reached Mal's
lodge in Inverness.
He fell out of that car and crawled pathetically along
the rough shale path.
"Get up!" I shouted.
"I'll have you know that I'll never be able to do the
Rumba again!" He groaned bitterly.
"I'd love to see you Rumba." Purred Mal and helped
Alan to his feet. He had car-legs, you know when
they don't work properly after a long drive.
Cars, don't make them for long legged folk, I guess
they think we can walk everywhere. Short arses,
hate them. Oh sorry Raine!
I helped Catherine get Patrick into his wheelchair,
he still wasn't quite back yet, his mouth was open
but he seemed to be breathing better.
"We look like a careparty!" Laughed Mal, he had a
point, Alan held onto his arm glaring like a male
Medusa with his unruly hair blowing every which
way.
Very heroic.
Unruly hair, should be in a Harlequin book really.
Alan would fit.
Mal wouldn't, mind you Mal wouldn't fit in Sex and
the City, the dirty boy!
I could still feel him inside me, wooden and slick,
my own personal Maypole.
"C'mon pur-leaze! Let's see what the Auld shed is
like now! Hopefully it is still dry."
Shed was not the word, it was lush, thick sheepskins
on the floor, leather sofas, spotlights, a stainless steel
kitchen and an outdoor hot tub!
"It'll do." Conceded Catherine.
"Oh Aye am pleased!" Said Mal with deep sarcasm.
I think we were all happy that it was in such good
condition, it was more then I had hoped for.
Trouble was there was only one bedroom which
Catherine and Patrick bedded themselves down in
faster then the speed of light.
We would have to sleep in the lounge-cum-diner
as luckily the sofa could turn into a bed.
I'm going to have a look at the water." Said Alan and
strode off with the torch towards the loch. I just
nodded foolishly, truth was I could hardly look at him,
he was the best, my main man, my boo and my honey,
but I still needed more.
He was not enough.
For me.
I was alone with Mal for the first time since
our encounter. He beamed like a naughty schoolboy.
"Mal, you know what we did was bad, you are
gay, well at least I thought you were!"
"Aye am gay! Did you think your slick little
pussy, silky breasts and firm arse would
change the direction of my cock?" He looked at
me challengingly. I gulped, what could I say.
"Well, yeah ."
Mal threw back his head and laughed.
"Oh Becka what are we going to do with you
hinny?" His warm hands reached for me and
were soon inside my jacket.
"What do you want to do with me?"
"Turn around." He commanded.
I was about to take it like a man.

Becka M

2005-11-18T06:43:00.000-08:00

WHO ATE ALL THE PIES? WHO ATE ALL THE
PIES? YOU FAT BASTARD, YOU FAT BASTARD
YOU ATE ALL THE PIES!

"I am never going to eat a pie again even if it's cooked
by Gordon fucking Ramsey." Groaned Alan as he hunched
over the steering wheel like someone on the brink of
dysentery (which he was!)
"Well aye thought it was mildly pleasant." Said Mal.
"You are Scottish, you eat deep fried Mars bars and
sheep stomachs!" I retorted as I felt like I had some
hot curry sauce of my own going on in the boiler!
"Well Mr Ramsey himself is a Scot!"
"Have you heard the fucker speak? I've never heard a
Scot speak like that!" Said Alan.
"Stop ganging up on me!" Mal squeezed tighter between
Catherine who was asleep with her mouth open (good
teeth, no fillings!) and Patrick who looked ever closer
to easing himself out of his mortal coil!
I was dressed like Madonna (I kid you not) in tights,
a fucked out leotard and a bomber jacket that made
me look like Huggy Bear with tits. Red and pink and
even, gulp, leg warmers (drag queens always have
to tinker with a look).
"Mal!" I screamed when I saw what he had packed for
me:"You Goddamned fucking freak! Don't you realize
real women like to wear proper clothes, not drag!"
"If it's good enough for Maddy......."He laughed,
But he wasn't the one getting the evils from, like,
everyone! We stopped at a petrol station as not only
did I need to take a dump, but we did need petrol!
I stagger across the tarmac like some 70's nightmare,
Madge is Madge, but I'm Becks, I'm meant to
be skinny and slinky and dressed beautifully.
I cannot always do high fashion. I'm as thin as a model
but it hangs wrong. I look, well, soppy.
"Hey look at that! She forgot her trews!" Laughed some
toothless fucker standing next to a hairy goon
with a baseball cap that said NEW COCK CITY.
"Oi love do ya think I'm sexy? Do ya want to touch
me? Come on sugar let me know!" Screamed the
idiot with the hair.
I let him know alright:"Kiss my arse!"
"See? She does fancy me!"
"Yeah and you can see most of it anyway!" Laughed
Toothless.
I hate my life.
I returned to the car to see Mal and Alan laughing
together (at me who else?) like a couple of fairies.
"Cunts!" I hissed.
"Aye am so jealous! What truly lovely men, Becks
you always pull the best." Twinkled Mal.
I looked at him coolly:"No always." I said like an
ice chip, his mouth looked hurt, good, lucky I
hadn't punched him in it.
So we were set now heading towards Inverness
and more mayhem.
But all I could think about was Mal's huge dick
slipping in like that, oh dear maybe I need a
pussy lift or something?
The guilt certainly gives me an edge, oh and
not smoking, the car is too packed to smoke and
Alan drives like a nut so we should soon be there.
Then I will smoke 101 menthols in a row and
breathe like a dragon.

Becka M

2005-11-14T06:35:00.000-08:00

MAD WET AND BLOODY LUCKY!

It was silly but such fun! Me and Mal
splashed eachother in the tub like children,
although we were very aware of our bodies
so close and intimate.
He was beautiful, truly lovely, like a stone
Adonis brought to life, but put it this way a
fig leaf would have been far too small!
Mal's dick was like a rolling pin against my
back and his hands delved every now and
then into my pubic hair much as a child would
raid a sweet jar, furtive and cute.
We soaped eachother all over and suddenly found
that we had grown silent, this was serious.
I was very aware of his breath warm against
my cooling skin.
"Mal." I whispered confused.
"Sssh." He gently turned me so that his dick rested
between my buttocks.
"We are not going to do this." I said as much to
convince myself.
"Aye have never be'en with a hin as beautiful as
you."
"Can't do it." I shook my head violently:"You heard
Al, not good, friend's and all."
"Let me just rest inside you a moment."
Like silk he slid into me, filling me up and rising me
in the water like a mermaid! Everything with Mal
was big and dramatic, why not the sex?
For a second I shivered against him, feeling his back
arch lovingly and my pussy swell and ache with
him. So full, pizza, gateau and beer full.
I grinned like Noodle in Gorillaz.
Then I heard the swipe card in the door and Alan
walked in. We had been so turned on that we had
not notice time ticking a whole 20 minutes had past!
Time froze now. Mal stopped breathing and I felt
myself hovering on the edge of orgasm, I longed
to move.
Anything could happen in this stretched out
reality.
Alan shook his head:"I knew you two would be in the
bath, hurry up and get out, I've got some of those
God awful pies from a service station. They must
taste better hot then cold although that is not
saying much. Oh that Catherine is a bitch by the
way, she didn't even say thank you for the vodka!
Patrick seems a bit more awake, I'd go and see
him if I was you." He shook his head again. "You guys!"
He bustled off as only Alan can bustle.
He hadn't noticed at all.
I clamped my hand over my mouth and came hard
against my lovely Mal, whose eyes were shining
proudly.
He withdrew still erect and unspent.
"Am Aye not the butch one?"
I laughed shook up and flame legged, one day Alan
would boot me from his life for my shenanigans.
But not tonight.

Becka M

2005-11-09T06:47:00.000-08:00

SEX ON A SHTICK

I walked across to Mal, naked, unashamed and
horny as hell, I sat firmly on his lap and pulled
his knee between my thighs and squeezed
tightly.
"What are you doing?" Asked Mal.
Alan groaned.
"Becka I am tired." He said flatly.
"C'mon here then." I held my arm out invitingly.
Mal shifted uncomfortably.
"No I'm tired of all this bullshit."
How many times had I heard that from him?
Countless and he always came back for more.
Always would.
"Don't be that way! Come here I want to taste
you."
But Alan for once wasn't having any.
"No I shall attempt to find a shop to buy that
old harriden some booze, if I don't come back
it means that I have finally realized all of this
is senseless." He reached over and kissed my
cheek.
"You will come back though?" I was worried.
Alan shrugged:"Yeah of course. Look, don't
fuck Mal eh? There's a love, he's our friend,
it's stupid."
"Aye agree!" Said Mal, though his hands were
stroking my arse lovingly.
"Spoilsports!" I stuck my bottom lip out childishly.
Once Alan had gone Mal suddenly stood up and
pulled me to him.
"You are gorgeous! Let's bathe together!" He
carried me effortlessly into the bathroom and began
to top up the bath water I had left.
He was soon naked and he had the biggest cock I had
ever seen in my life!
"Bloody hell!" I squealed delightedly.
"Hands off Missus! This is for the boys!"
Whilst the bath filled I did my best to contain my
excitement .
It was already dribbling between my legs!
In the bath I sat with my back against his
chest, I could feel his dick hard and long bobbing
lusciously against me.
"Oooh Mal!" I laughed.
"Who would have thought it?" He mused.
Not me, but I was feeling it now and it was dead
firm and sexy.
Pity he was gay.

Beck MMMMMMMMMMM

2005-11-03T06:09:00.000-08:00

TWITCH TO YOU

The receptionist looked at us wearily, in a Travel Inn
with a high turn over of clients, she must have seen
everything in her time.
We looked good though, me in filthy green scrubs, Alan,
well Alan always looks odd in his all black clothes.
Mal supa-dupa bling-chav fairy , Pa comatose in
a wheelchair, Catherine dried out corpse fairy.
We probably made her night.
Mal paid and we were given swipe cards for our rooms.
Pa and Catherine had a disabled room, but me and the
guys had to share a family room as that was all they had
left. I looked at Alan ouch!
"Great." Muttered Alan in a distinctly un-great way.
"Young Lady can you direct me to the nearest bar."
Said Catherine The Geek in her rude superior way.
"Sorry, the bar is closed." The girl smiled slightly, like
someone who had come to the end of their shift and
did not give a shit. I liked her.
"Well that's just not good enough!" Shrilled Catherine.
"Easy Tiger." I said and patted her arm:"I'll get washed
up and then I'm sure I can find an all night garage or
shop." Truth was I could do with a drink myself.
Catherine looked tired and reluctantly agreed to go
and wait for her booze.
After tucking the oldies into their room, we began to
make ourselves at home in ours.
I ran a bath quickly and stripped off, it had a shower
but all that driving had made my back ache like a
motherfucker. Only a bath would do for that deep
down clean.
I had left the door open and Alan stared in at me,
disapprovingly of course!
"Shut the ruddy door!" He commanded.
Mal peered at me and his eyes widened.
"You have a nice set of tittie hin."
He really stared, Alan shut the door irritably,
I just heard Mal say:"Aye must be coming down
with something, Aye could swear , my dick
just twitched!"
"For fucksake!" Shouted Alan:"Now even the
gayest bastards want you! What are you-
The Second Coming?"
I laughed in my bathtub:"Second? What about third
or fourth?"
"Bitch!" Scowled Alan.
Sadly I was turned on to think Mal of all people would
find me attractive.
I rubbed myself pathetically under the water, gosh
wouldn't it be nice to masturbate in front of Mal?
Or to get caught doing it! Jeez I was sixteen all over
again!
"Alan hon, I need you, now." I said in a weedy whiny
voice.
"No." Said Alan. "We have a guest with us, have some
manners."
I felt pissed off, the cunt! Why he had had me shagging
in public plenty of times, I wasn't going to do it in
front of Mal, I just needed it now!
"Manners!" I roared and jumping out of the tub walked
stark naked into the bedroom. "You should treat
me with some respect-I asked for you, you should
bloody come!"
Mal started to laugh.
"This is like Dynasty, only nastier!" He clapped his
hands together with joy.
Alan looked shocked that I would do this.
"Becka have you lost all of senses? You are acting like
a slut."
Slut? Boy he hadn't been born!

Becka 'Messiah' M

2005-10-26T03:45:00.000-07:00

MAL, MADNESS AND ME

We picked Mal up near the northern exit on
the London Orbital, the good old M1!
"Where 'ave ye been? It's freezin'!"
He moaned and nagged, he was dressed boy-wise
in a chavtastic tracksuit with bling style necklaces.
I noticed a particularly cute one that said Bugger.
"Oh look at yew!" He laughed at my filthy scrubs.
"Ya look like a used tampon!"
"That's enough of that!" Said Catherine:"She might be
a filthy little baggage, but please don't talk so rough!"
"Oh mai god! It's Bette Davis!" Teased Mal.
Alan snorted in the front and Patrick slept on,
blissfully unaware of any kerfuffle.
"Did you phone Raine? What did she say?" I cringed and
waited for the answer.
Mal pulled a wry face:"Nothing to worry about hin, forget
it, she's ok, well when she discovers her powers of speech
and loses the Tourettes."
I pulled a face at Alan, god it was turning into rent-a-mime.
"Look do you really think I am going to drive all the way
to Scotland, then you are sorely mistaken." Grumbled Alan.
"Well you will be pleased to know Aye have booked us
into a Travel Lodge just outside Nottingham!" Said Mal
thrilled with himself.
"What a ghastly place!" Snarled Catherine.
"I'm not driving all that way! You can take over Mal."
"Nooo way!" Said the camp Hebridean.
"I'll drive." I said firmly.
"Oh for fucksake!" Said Alan.
"No I shall drive." Said Catherine firmly.
"Over my dead body!" Said Alan:"I can smell the alcohol
on you!"
"What are you implying young man?" Catherine sharply
yanked Al's hair making him swerve wildly.
"Leave the hair alone! Becka drive, please, as long
as I don't have to sit next to her."
"Aye hate this journey." Whined Mal. Jesus he had been
in the car for all of ten minutes! He was right though, it
was crap.
We pulled in a layby, Mal sat next to me, in the back
Patrick was propped up like a corpse between Catherine
and Alan, like the Berlin wall only British and still standing.
"Right." I said and gingerly turned the key:"Been a long
time since I've driven a car, but hey it's like riding a
bike isn't it?"
In the back I could see Alan reflected in my mirror
silently screaming.

Becka M

2005-10-19T12:36:00.000-07:00

LOW DOWN ON THE HIGH ROAD

"Talk sense!" Said Alan:"You people are driving me
crazy! How the hell are we going to get him to South
Africa? Do you lot not even think for a second that
Airports and the like are the first place the police
will look for you?"
I patted his back:"Calm down sweetie, we are just
talking things through, nothings set in stone." I said
soothingly, it didn't work as he gave me a look from
hell.
Catherine spoke up, in the quavering tones of somebody
in the throes of a hangover.
"If Patrick wants to go to South Africa then that is where
he shall go! Obviously not tonight, we have connections,
maybe something could be arranged........" She looked at
me glassily:"Young woman can you please get this man
to pull over as I am going to be sick..."
"Shit!" I yelped and before I could relay anything to
Alan, she was promptly sick on the back of his head.
"What the fuck!" He bellowed:"Oh no!"
Patrick slept on, Catherine moaned and held her stomach,
I laughed insanely and Alan swore.
"Fuck fuck fuck fuck!"
Then my mobile sounded to the fab sound of Goldfrapp-
Ooh La La.
It was Mal.
"Ye dead?" He said.
"Um no, just a bit preoccupied."
"Well why have'n Aye heard from you for forty four years
or there abouts?" He sounded most put out.
"Listen Mal I am in a heap of smelly shit getting smellier
by the second." I glanced at Catherine:"I'll tell you what
happened."
As I told him he kept saying:"You don't say!"
Or
"No!"
Again and again.
Quite tiresome.
"Yes Mal I am saying and implicitly-yes!"
"Well you are up the swannie! Listen hinnie, maybe
I might be able to help. Aye have a holiday lodge in Inverness,
small place, quite quaint, near Loch Ness-it's yours."
"Mal if you were not fucking gay I would fuck you!"
The man was a marvel a bloody marvel.
"Charming." Said Catherine.
Alan rolled his eyes, Patrick stirred and chucked.
"Better then that Aye shall meet ye somewhere........."
We began to arrange details.
"Oh and Mal, bring me some clothes I'm filthy!"
"Will do."
"And phone Raine."
"On to it."
"And." I was rudely interrupted.
"Becka get off the fecking phone, I'm trying to pack!"
Becka (Fugitive) M

2005-10-12T12:42:00.000-07:00

WAKE UP AND SMELL THE HOO-HA

"Where to hot Mama?" Said Alan in a faux
Hispanic accent (just why he said it quite like
that was beyond me). Mind you I could have
been hallucinating again, don't call me mad for
nothing you know!
"I don't know, I'm just so pleased we got out
of there! What do you think Catherine?"
"I think my husband is waking up." She stroked
his cheek and yes Patrick's eyelids were fluttering
like butterflies.
"Patrick!" I bellowed into his ear.
"He is not deaf you know!" Hissed Catherine.
"I am now." Mumbled Patrick.
Alan nearly crashed the car, we swerved perilously
like the fugitives we were.
"Alan! Chill pill!" I snapped.
"Fuck off!" He shouted back cheerily, love this man's
bones I do.
"What is going on? I'm not dead yet am I?" Said Patrick.
"No, you are in hell with me and your lunatic bastard
daughter, she duffed up that Copper you know, Straw."
When she said Straw I'm sure I could see her eyes
glisten, dirty old cow.
"Did she?! Well done, don't worry I was on to him
all the while." Patrick yawned and I was impressed
to see that he had nearly all his own teeth, rich bastards
good teeth, no morals.
"I love you Pa, I really thought you would die and you
are in sooo much trouble." I realized I was crying
when tears dripped onto Patrick's pale face, Catherine
watched us like a sphinx (only she was smaller and
not Egyptian).
"Sorry to break up the hearts and flowers!
This is not going to last long if we don't have a plan,
tell me where I'm going! Mickey Straw will wake
soon, shit will hit the fan and the Cops will be crawling,
not to mention the Press." Said Alan in his usual
dramatic way.
"Take me home." Said Patrick.
"Home? Are you crazy, that's the first place the Police
will look!" Hissed Witch Wife from hell.
"I mean South Africa." Said Patrick and you could see
he was already there, glass in hand looking like the
Man from Delmonte and smuggling something
naughty down his trousers.
"I don't have enough petrol for that!" Laughed Alan.
But Patrick was serious.
This was not going to be easy!
Becka M

2005-10-05T06:21:00.000-07:00

ALAN'S IN

It was going well, I'd probably lost a couple of
pounds because of acute stress but everything
seemed to be going swimmingly.
My heart was dancing in my chest like Ricky Martin
(Hey another Martin!)
Nursie had checked Patrick who said that he
was fine, I'd managed to pull Mickey out of
the wheelchair and prop him up against the side
of the bed (he looked cute-like a gorilla) and
we had maneuvered Patrick into the wheelchair.
He did not look good, but he was breathing.
"Right." I said and running a hand through my
hair was surprised that it was wet with sweat.
With my yucky scrubs and sweaty hair, I looked
like I had just finished a long shift.
Catherine however looked blonde and icy cool,
she did not sweat, instead small particles of talcum
powder oozed from her skin, or maybe it was just
dust.
"Right indeed, we are all going to prison you
know?"
"Yeah I know." I smiled:"But look at it this way,
if Patrick's secret makes the paper, this is going
to make us notorious! This Morning, Paul Grady,
Richard and Judy are going to be begging us for
interviews!"
"Shallow bitch." Said a familiar voice, turning I saw
Alan standing in the corner like Death, he just needed
a scythe.
"Oh!" I said.
Alan's eyes flickered across to Mickey and he scowled.
"That fucking cunt!" He hissed and punched the
slumbering policeman in the side of his head.
"Hey!" I protested.
"Just making sure he stays that way, can't we push
him out the window?"
"No!" Said Catherine and me in unison.
"Will you explain to me what you are doing, or is
that going to be too hard for you both?" He crossed
his arms and looked completely pissed off with
me.
"Everything will be explained, but later, just now we
need you to go get the car."
"You are killing my brain." He nagged. But being Alan,
shuffled off, sexy and compliant.
I tucked Mickey into the bed and looked into his
slack unconscious face, still a smashing geezer.
Catherine stared at him:"If I was only twenty years
younger." She said sadly.
"Oh I don't think Mickey is ageist. Come on we are
on the home stretch." Was this wishful thinking or
what!
In my head I could see Patrick on a beach somewhere
nice laughing about all this.
In my head I also could see me and Alan fucking
like dogs in an alley (but that was just too distracting).
"Come on, we are good to go. Oh and Catherine, thanks."
She said nothing, but her small pursed lips flexed
slightly so I assumed she was smiling.

Becka M

2005-09-28T06:25:00.000-07:00

IT STARTED WITH A KISS

I crouched over Mickey like catwoman (minus the
pervy clothes). Good he was still alive, there was a
mad moment of panic that I might have offed the
bastard, but no, the Copper had breath in him yet.
I had found some particularly grubby clothes in a
linen trolley, not blood splattered, more likely worn
by king/queen BO from the school of unwashed.
Nice. So I looked the part, even if I didn't smell it.
Catherine wrinkled up her nose.
"Christ you stink." She observed.
"Go do something useful, find a stretcher or something."
I looked down at Mick, which was good as he always
looked down at me.
I thought back to our 1st sexual encounter, he was 12 and
I was 14.
"Go on Becka, show me it, you know you want to." Said
the scabby, skinny, slum kid.
Trouble was I did.
I mean I wanted to show him.
Gingerly I pulled down my knickers which said SATURDAY
on them even though it was actually friday.
"Where's the hair?" He laughed.
I bristled (though not with hair as puberty was late coming
in the land of Becks).
"Don't be mad." He said and kissed me deeply, something
inside went ping and I squirmed away to my very first
orgasm.
It was always like that with Mickey, first times, my first
kiss, my first pussy kiss, the first time I blew him.
Losing my virginity. Doing a strip tease for all his friends
(though that is another story!) losing him to Sharon, my
1st broken heart.
I kicked him with my foot.
"Bastard." I hissed, what would I do without Mickey?
Probably very well.
He mumbled but didn't wake up.
Catherine returned breathless with a wheelchair.
"I thought we would push him on a stretcher or
trolley."
"Well you thought wrong, this way if anyone stops
us we can say he has had a stroke, or we are on
our way to A & E." She smiled, clever old cow, I'll
give her that.
She looked at Mickey and frowned.
"Is that an erection?"
"Yeah, you must have seen one before, but Mickey
is always in a perpetual state of arousal."
Her pale blue eyes shimmered, she reached down
and touched his impressive bulge.
"Easy! That's not nice." Eeew, she was making me feel
sick.
"So very hard and firm." She began to unzip him.
"Whoah! Stop right there! That is quite enough lady!"
I slapped her hand away."Come on, let's put him in the
chair." Easier said then done, but all those years
getting Ma's drunk clients out of the flat had given me
the strength to move useless great hulks of man-flesh.
"Right, he's in-now what?" Said Catherine, breathless
and shiny eyed, she was still looking at his cock.
"I'll wait here, you going to get a nurse to check
Patrick."
"Why?"
"Duh? Because once checked and oked they will leave
him alone for a while, enough time to get the hell
out of here."
"What about the CCTV camera in the hall?"
"One thing at a time please!"
She marched off like someone who rides a lot of
horses.
Giddiup.
I didn't like the way she looked at Mickey, sort
of hungry and no, still can't do old folk sex
things yeuch!!!

Becka M

2005-09-23T06:46:00.000-07:00

DADDY WAS ROLLED LIKE A STONE

I was most concerned because:

1./ How the fuck was I going to get Patrick
out of the hospital?

2./ If Mickey Straw woke up-he would kill me
no doubt about that. Also he could be quite
vindictive, Patrick would not fair well.

3./ Alan might find out about me being crouped
up in the lift with Mickey and that would not be
pretty at all.

I was sweating, panting and probably looked
as strung out as Kate Moss on a week night.
Shit did my nose really look like Owen Wilson's?
No it looked worse, he was a guy, it was hunky
an aberration on on a perfect face. I was as
far removed from perfect as Michael Jackson
was from reality.
Right Patrick, ooh first I had to get past Queen
of the Damned.
I decided I didn't care I would go through her
if necessary.
I burst into the room like Starsky and Hutch,
(probably Hutch as I hate those baggy cardies).
"Oh your back, well he's still not awake." Said
Catherine and turned away bitterly glaring out
the window.
I snatched her shoulder and turned her to face
me.
"Look Patrick is in the shit now lady, with or
without your help I'm going to have to move
him. Are you in or out?" I forced her to give
me attention (maybe it was the arm behind
the back part that did it) which she did.
"Enough of that young lady! Why should I help
him, he's been helping himself for a very long time
now." Her chin set firmly, she reminded me of
that Persian cat in the Bond films, though less
hairy and not a cat.
"I would love you to help me, but fine, I can
do it on my own, but you will have to keep out
of my way! And shut the fuck up!"
I pushed her away, so frail and light she staggered
against the bed.
Patrick must have felt the vibration because
he mumbled something.
"Honey it's Becka!" I said and grabbed his hand.
"Pat, it's Cat, please wake up." She kissed his
other hand.
I felt very humbled, the old bag did love him
after all.
I also felt sick, Pat and Cat! I wanted to put
my fingers down my throat and bring up a
hairball!
No good though, he did not stir, we both looked
deflated.
"Alright, I'll help." She said grimly.
"Ok! I think I've worked out what to do next."
I grinned and whispered in her ear.
"That sounds risky." Catherine smiled back at me.
"Don't do that." I said.
"What?"
"Nothing!" I shrugged, could hardly say not to smile
could I?
No time for sarcasm.
"Catherine, unhook Patrick from that monitor,
no, not the drip, we can take that with us."
"Where are you going?"
"I need to deal with a bald Copper in a staff lift.
Then we roll Daddy."
"Hmm, he's been rolling everyone else for years."
Muttered Catherine.

Becka M

2005-09-14T12:23:00.000-07:00

DADDY WAS A ROLLING STONE

"It all started in Africa." Said Mickey as he snatched
my breasts from their cups.
"What did?" I said stupidly.
"We did, the human race! But in your case this was where
Daddy went bad." He slurped on my titties like they
were raspberry smoothies, I scratched his head.
"Ok." He continued:"It was the 70's, wild times ahoy!
Wild for Daddy anyway. He was still young and South
Africa was the perfect place for a white rich and devious
man to prosper. Oh and did he! Apartheid was in full
swing and life was cheap. Ivory was expensive and in
demand, poor old Dumbo never had it so bad.
That was where he started, bits and pieces.
Oh and diamonds, did I mention the diamonds?
Wonder why the old buzzard hasn't given you any-
oh and the hash. Partial to that myself in my younger
days. Patrick had plenty of outlets I can tell you.
Slavery? Black and white. Boys and girls, sex and
domestic, can't say fairer then that! Patrick was
an enterprising geezer-he was reaping it in and
distribution was a doddle, who would have thought
of it a dealer and a fence in the House of Lords!!!"

We have an interval now where I try to digest this
information and Mickey tries to digest my pussy.

"But the opium?" I asked and gasped as he fisted
me.
"That was what fucked it up, he tried it and liked
it himself. Too much. Soon he was spending
days on end dreaming and his workers were
getting greedy and dishonest! Dishonest, that's
a laugh eh? Do you know he lost an absolute
fortune, but he was rich enough anyway, him and
his crazy wife. It all came out in some old codgers
memoirs, else Patrick might be ok now.
He's a marked man you know, many people are
after him, that's why I was assigned as his body
guard, to protect him.
Really though I've been waiting the time out
to catch him. Looks like I might have missed
my chance if he dies." Mick looked sad.
I knew all about chance, I kissed my copper deeply
then head butted him as hard as I could.
Nothing happened.
My nose again throbbed like a squashed tomato.
"I didn't expect that." Said Mickey conversationally.
"Keep on using your nose to hit people girl and
you are going to look like Owen Wilson."
He then crashed to the lift floor out cold.
I used this as a chance to get Patrick the hell
out of there!

Becka M

2005-09-08T12:31:00.000-07:00

STRAW'S LAW

I shivered, Patrick a junkie! It did not seem real and opium!
The only person I ever knew who used that was Sherlock
Holmes and he was *fictional!"
"What does that mean Mickey? What's going to happen
next?"
My head felt tight like it would explode with tension
and my armpits were suddenly drenched with sweat.
"Damage limitation is the name of the game, I'm here to
deter the Press, at least until the old bastard wakes up
or croaks!" He laughed humourlessly.
I hit him hard in the chest, he crushed my hand painfully.
"Easy girlie! I'm here to help, you should be nice to me,
maybe all isn't lost yet." His green eyes shone with intent
and he began to claw at my top again.
"I like a hot sticky girl." He crooned.
"Mick you have to stop it! For my sanity please! Alan is
my boyfriend! Please don't mess my head up again, why do
you do it? Fuck me up I mean?"
I held his hands away, but it was futile he was much
stronger then me.
"Because you are the easiest lay in South London and
perhaps I like you too much. I think over the years you
owe me big time, all the scrapes I pulled you out of.
Times you could have been arrested, cunt boyfriends,
stalkers- you name it! Becka you will always be my girl."
I swear when Mickey grinned he had grown more teeth.
"Then tell me about Patrick, the opium, everything,
then we will see!" What else could I do? I was powerless,
normally a turn on, but this was something else.
Mickey had always been dominant, but this was like
Straw's Law-I was being made to do it!
Not what I had in mind.
I had to have some control.
I wished I was warm in Alan's bed covered by the
chocolate brown eiderdown, eating fingers of buttered
toast and drinking hot sweet tea.
Instead I was in a lift with Mr irresistible, who breathed
his nicotine breath down my top.
"We will start at the beginning with the poppies
and end with your freak Father."
As he said that Mick slipped a finger into my pussy
from behind.
"Just the way you like it." Mickey nibbled my earlobes.

I liked it alright, but this was the wrong man!

Becka M

* Well I think he was bloody well real enough!

2005-09-02T12:32:00.000-07:00

DUST Part Three (Powder)

I felt that post orgasm thrum in my bladder, I
had to pee.
"Wait for me." I said to Alan, one day we would
be happy on the beach, in the sun, not a care.
We might, Alan was fairly well off and I'm good
at sitting on my arse. It could happen.
But that would not be today.
Definitely not.
I left Alan in one corridor and turning to find the
wc's , I practically collided with Mickey Straw.
"Mick!" I said (for that was his name).
His eyes were flinty and harsh, they had a new edge
to them that I had never seen before.
"Becks." He gripped me by the shoulders."I wondered
if I might see you here." He smirked, he seemed
pleased with himself as always.
"Well of course where else would I be when Patrick
might be dying!" The words said made me feel hollow
and sick and the urge to urinate was great.
"Excuse me will you? I have to find the ladies."
I tried to push past him.
"You don't know do you? Why Patrick's here."
"He's had a heart attack!" I snapped.
"Yeah, under mitigating circumstances, your Dads
in big trouble." That fucking smirk again.
"Tell me." I felt deflated, it was all coming to
a head now.
"Go and pee, I'll meet you here." Mickey commanded.
"Alan's waiting." I said weakly.
"Well let's not keep the man then! Hurry up girl."
Never have I peed so quickly.
"Well?" I said.
"Not here, the press are around, come on."
The Press? Oh all that stuff Catherine the Geek
had gone on about.
I felt torn really, I wanted to go back to Alan, but
I had to find out what was going on in Patrick's
life. That meant Mickey Straw, for someone who
had always made me feel safe and warm, he was
scaring the shit out of me now.
He pushed me into a staff lift.
"Up we go!" He said and his eyes had a twinkle,
next minute hands were down my top and
scrabbling at my waist band.
"Wait a minute! What are you doing? It's over
Straw get it?"
He laughed in my face.
"This is nothing love the calm before the storm."
His knee was parting my legs and his hand was
scrunching my breast like a sponge.
"Ouch! That hurts, tell me about Patrick!" I began
to punch and slap Mickey around the face.
Didn't last long.
He managed to get my arm up behind my back.
"Your Dad is in so much trouble they are going
to have to invent a different word for it!" He
thrust his hand down and opened his flies.
"Just give it a tug for old times sake hey love?"
I spat on it.
"Fuck you Copper!" I knew that he would hate
that and sure enough his attention was diverted.
"You bitch! Been around your swanky wanky
prick Alan too long haven't you? Always looking
down on the working man! Well baby I know
sooner or later you are going to come crawling
back. No matter, I'll think of a suitable punishment
for you." He laughed:"Patrick is punishment
for you in itself!"
"Mickey." I whispered my heart beating:"What is
going on please, I must know."
Mick lit a cigarette and passed it to me, in a
hospital too!
"Your Patrick Beamish has been a very bad boy!
Not only has he decided to become a high class
drugs baron, he's also addicted to the crap himself!"
I sat down in the lift, Pa a druggie.
"Coke?" I said.
"Nothing so coarse, get this your ole man is an
opium addict!"
So from dust to powder.
I began to cry.

Becka M

2005-08-31T12:04:00.000-07:00

DUST (IER) Part Two

We found a store cupboard, very small and tight and
stocked with green surgical wear. I slipped into a
tunic and some of those socks they give patients to
avoid DVTs, I looked foolish I know.
"We can't." Said Alan:"I haven't got a johnnie on me."
Johnnie! How quaint, that is why I love him guys, he
always makes me laugh.
"Don't worry about it." I assured him:"You can come in
my mouth instead."
"Well put like that." He purred, Mr Adaptable as ever!
I was soon crouched over like some horny Orderly
setting the world to rights with my lips and teeth.
His fingers worked overtime in my snatch, I swear
that man has the longest, most pointiest fingers in
the world. They reach the parts other fingers cannot
reach.
"Eat me." I commanded.
"What do you want me to eat?" He said and his voice
was magical, sending me over the edge in anticipation.
"Lick my clit."
"The way you speak! Can't you say lady petals or
something prettier?"
I snorted.
"I will never say lady petals! I'd rather say piss flaps,
or camel toe!" I was laughing and peaking all the time
with my tongue doing the swirly swirl.
"You are a wicked terrible girl and I love it all! Especially
this bit!"
He laid me across a locker and pulled down my knickers
kissing my belly button and cupping my buttocks.
He began to french kiss my clitty, nibbling and licking
making me lock his head with my Beyonce thighs.
Alan stopped.
"Becka you are crushing my head!"
Ooops.
"Sorry!"
"You will be!" He warned.
I was soon wet and wild, creaming on his tongue and
shuddering as if I was being attacked by a conga eel.
"You are a creature set on pleasure." He said:"You
amaze me." Alan kissed me roughly.
"Now be a good girl and get dressed, we need to
see to your Father."
Reality is shit sometimes.
Back in the corridor Alan giggled.
"Becka you have gone grey!" He brushed my hair:"Dust."

I would get a lot greyer before the night was out and it
was not funny.

Becka M

2005-08-28T12:40:00.000-07:00

DUST Part One

I sat there doggedly watching Patrick's face for
signs of consciousness.
God I loved him.
Purely.
Without desire.
He was my Father.
He couldn't leave me now could he?
Catherine watched me from her chair like one of those
fey Welsh women you see in faded postcards.
Colourless and full of spite she berated me and Patrick
time and time again. She reminded me of dust and cobwebs.
"Of course you realize that your Mother was a common
prostitute?" She snarled showing small pointed teeth
like Justine's.
What were they cat-people or something?
"Yeah Ma's never hid it, at least we ate I suppose."
I tried to make light of it, but it was nasty. I was the
child, it was not my fault who made me and definitely
not my fault Ma was a brass.
"Patrick always liked to put his dick in the shit! Your
Mother used to scrub my floors, how does that make
you feel?" Her voice was like a rasp.
"Feel? Not much at all actually, no let me re-phrase
that, I'm sorry for you. Sorry you are so bitter
and twisted, sorry you like the sherbert too much.
Sorry you can't act like a wife, he might die, then
what?"
"You filthy little whore! If he dies, then good! If he
survives he's not going to like it, me knowing about you
and the press knowing about his other little secret."
She smiled in a demented way, I knew a lot was bravado,
of course she cared about her husband. But this secret,
what was it? I demanded to know.
"Tell me!" I raged.
"You will find out tomorrow if our man can't stop
the press."
"I have a right to know!"
I did not know I was shouting, a nurse came running.
"What are you doing?" She glowered at me. "I think
you had better calm down Miss."
"I'm going to get some air." I ran my hand through my
hair, which was standing up in filthy tangles and spikes.
Nice. The lobby was filled with sick people waiting, their
loved ones and medical staff.
Then I saw him.
Alan!
He sat in the waiting room, so dark and imposing,
when he saw me he sprang up and held me to him.
"Raine phoned me." He kissed my hair:"How is he?"
"Not good."
I stroked his dark grey shirt, grey you see not black,
must be summer! I loved his daftness. I smelt his
neck, delicious and mine.
"Maybe." I said and squeezed his arm: "You might have
ideas about taking the edge off my nerves?" I leered at him.
He looked shocked.
"Becka! Patrick might be dying and you want to......!?"
It was a bit sick I must admit, but I needed to feel
safe and alive and this was the one way I knew would
work.
"We need to find a store cupboard. Preferably with
surgical tape."
Alan began to warm to the idea.

Becka M

2005-08-15T12:09:00.000-07:00

LIKE FATHER

"What are you doing here?" Snarled Justine implying
something nasty, something sordid.
What could I say? Patrick had never told Catherine about
me, they probably thought I was his tart!
I looked around helplessly.
"I got a call." I said weakly.
"From whom young woman?" Said Catherine, I didn't
like her one little bit. Imagine a woman so cold that she
made my Ma seem like hotstuff!
Who was the call from?
"From the hospital, from Patrick himself, he wanted
Becka here. " Said Raine who appeared from no where
like the Shopkeeper in Mr Benn.
I smiled gratefully.
"And who are you exactly?" Said Catherine (Catherine The
Geek-I think).
"I'm Raine, Becka's sister." Raine smiled.
A wave of irritation spread over Catherine's face or
maybe she had indigestion or something.
"And who is this Becka?" She roared spraying Raine
with spittle. Bless her, she was good, Sister-thing I
mean, not an Eeew in sight and she didn't wipe either.
"Come on Becka, what are you doing here?" Said
Justine, she looked at Angela:"And what are you doing
with my girlfriend , exactly?"
Angela grinned.
"Jealous are we pet?" And smiled nastily.
Oooh none of this was good.
"Only two of us need to be here ok? That's Catherine
and myself. So could you all leave, Raine don't go too
far might need a lift home."
"Here's a twenty, I've had enough of this place it's
giving me the creeps." Raine left with D.
"Do you want me to wait?" Whispered Angela.
"No, take Justine before someone alerts a crash
team, I'll be fine."
Justine gave me a radioactive grimace and left
haughtily striding in front of Angela.
Catherine looked across at me over her prone
husband's body. She had a triumphant holier-then-
thou look on her bitter shrew's face.
"Catherine we really need to talk." I said.
She laughed, she actually laughed.
"What could we possibly have to say to eachother? I
suppose you think that you are the 'one'? "
That bitter weary laugh again.
"No, I'm not the one but I am certainly important to
Patrick."
I touched his hair.
"Don't you touch him you filthy little whore!" Snarled
this suddenly violent, scary woman.
"Catherine, I'm Patrick's daughter, he didn't want
you to know but that might be academic now."
Her milky blue eyes widened.
"I don't believe you!" She turned her back.
"It's true, look at me, really look at me, I'm
Patrick's girl alright!"
"Then I hope he dies!" She spat and burst into tears,
somehow I swallowed my fear and held her. She
was thin and lifeless as her poison niece Justine.
"You don't mean that." I said against the softness
of her hair, it smelt of roses, sort of Turkish delight
sweetness.
Her breath was a different story, it smelt like a
Vauxhall wino's.
"I think you should leave now." She said firmly.
"I'm not going anywhere."
"We will see."
We did.

Becka M

p.s off on hols now, speak later!!!! Rainexxx

2005-08-10T03:59:00.000-07:00

TRUE BLUE (when they met it was moidur)

I clasped Angela's hand feeling it's warmth and
safety. Christ I'd been a fool! Skinner might be a
sad, stupid freak, but he was a dangerous sad
stupid freak! I should learn, really I should.
"Where is my wife?" Said D quietly.
"She's just coming." Said Angela, for a second I felt
terror, I mean Sister-thing is tiny, maybe she was
already in peril?
I shouldn't have worried, she bounced out of the
club, curls flipping and jaw like granite.
God I loved her(sometimes).
"Ok?" I said.
"Yeah 'course, me and Grady go way back, back
to school at any rate. Little ponce he was then,
hasn't improved much has he?"
"What did you do?" Said Angela.
"It was not so much as what I did as what I said!"
She began to snigger.
"What did you say?" I asked.
Raine snorted:" I'm not telling you , you would use
it! And it's far too precious for that!" She sniggered
again.
"Tell us!" Implored Angela.
"Kiss my tootie! Oh you probably would-forget that then!"
So what ever she said, whatever she had over Grady
would stay hidden for now.
I couldn't worry anymore, she was safe and now I had
to concentrate on Patrick.
And later revenge.
Should I tell Alan d'ya think?
Maybe not-he's lovely but hardly the toughest cookie
in the bakery.
More crisp then crunch.
Sorry I'm rambling again.
I thought of Mickey Straw, I'm sure he would have
taken Skinner to a dark alley somewhere and given him
concrete boots or something.
Or maybe just a slap.
We reached Westminster hospital and went straight
to the cardiac unit.
Well he was out of intensive care and in his own room.
But he was unconscious and tubes seemed to be coming
out of everywhere.
"Can't be doing with that." Said a pale Sister-thing, her
and D went off to get coffee.
I sat holding Patrick's soft hand (never work these
Tory bastards) and just hoped he would be ok.
Angela looked into his face.
"Handsome, for an old guy."
Old?
I looked at him, yes he seemed older now without
his blue eyes showing his sardonic wit.
"Love you!" I said and kissed his mostly grey hair,
where had all the black gone recently?
"Just what do you think you are doing young woman?"
Said the imperious tone.
Looking I stared into the impossibly pale and angry face
of his wife Catherine.
That was not the worst.
She was being escorted by my nemesis, Justine.
"Morgues that way!" I said to her obligingly.
Angela just cringed.

Becka (lovely) M

2005-08-06T13:16:00.000-07:00

SISTERS ARE DOING IT FOR THEMSELVES

I could not believe I called him Master!
I just knew that I had to get past this moment, to
push forward in time to a place where I would be
safe with Alan and this would be a memory.
Survival.
They tell you if you are kidnapped or in a hostage
situation the best thing to do would be to comply.
No matter how shitty it made you feel.
If you lived then you could always get your own back
another time.
Oh and I would.
To be sure.
Skinner would piss blood in hell for this if I had my way!
The sharp metal thing deep in my hoo-ha was Skinner's
nasty metal thumb claw, I was too scared to breathe,
too scared to move, less I be scratched inside.
It was not sexy.
He thought it was.
"You are lovely." He purred in my ear:"I could eat you up,
all of you." I had to stop myself from head butting
him. Was I losing my nerve? He was groaning and twisting
away.
Skinner, to think I liked him once.
Well the idea of him.
And I realized that he was fucked.
Fucking insane.
Nutter.
Grange Hill Nutjob.
Loony.
I'm really quite slow on the uptake.
In the other room I heard Angela screeching about figures
again.
What were they doing to her?
"I'm going to lick you all over." Promised Skinner.
I shivered. If I got out of this I would make bald-boy
suffer.
If I got out.
I was pathetic.
But I was alive.
Then I heard raised voices.
One voice in particular.
"I don't give a fuck! Where is my bloody sister?"
Sister-thing Raine!
The door handle started to turn.
"Dress yourself." Said Skinner harshly and withdrew
his claw, I could breathe again.
I felt like a droopy ragdoll, I was sodden with perspiration.
I heard Grady's voice.
"She not here."
"I know she's here! Becka get your arse out here
NOW!" Raine boomed.
The door opened and she entered.
"You can't go in there." Said Neck who was looking freaked.
"Try and stop me." She said.
Raine entered the room all electric hair and nervous
energy.
She looked at me, sweaty, shaky and pale.
Skinner, sweating red and excited.
"Would somebody please explain to me what the
fuck is going on?"
Nobody did.
Angela entered , another sweaty disheveled person.
"I don't want to know!" Roared Raine:"Becka I had
to find you." She placed a hand on my shoulder:"It's
Patrick, he's, ah, had a heart attack."
I began to shiver again.
Sometimes it's hard to cope.
Raine felt my forehead:"You ok?" She said:"You are
burning up!" She looked at Skinner.
"What were you doing?" Her light voice belied her
rage, she looked at him as though he had crawled
from under a stone.
Skinner smiled to reveal his fangs.
Raine pulled a eeww face.
"Nothing she didn't want." He lisped.
Raine's mouth set into a smile line, the small cleft
in her chin vanished-she was grinding her teeth
again.
"Angela take Becka out to the car, it's a
Volvo, blue." Her voice was of a woman not to
be ramped with.
Angela nodded and pulled me along.
Bloody hell.
Patrick! If I lost him now I would surely die!
Don't know how she got me through the swaying,
baying crowd, but she did.
"Come on kid." Said Angela, we approached the Volvo,
D looked at us. He didn't say anything.
Smart man.
We piled in.
"Hey D." I said and sniffed, he nodded and looked
away.
"What happened to you?" Said Angela.
I shook my head and horror! Two tears rolled down
my face.
Blast I hated to cry.
Waste of salt.
"Ok, I was trying to get Grady to call off that bald
thug. I was asking him to name a price, any figure.
But he wouldn't, he just smiled." She frowned.
Figures.
That was what she was yelling at.
I pulled my top up and blew my nose on the hem,
catching D's eye in the mirror, he turned away.
"You would do that for me?" I said in astonishment.
"Well yeah! I've put up with a lot of crap from
you, but you are still my number one." She hugged
me tightly.
Something very comforting about her large breasts.
Talking of tits-what was Raine doing?

Becka (survival of the fittest) M

2005-08-04T13:21:00.000-07:00

DEAD IN THE HEAD

"That was silly wasn't it?" Said Skinner and whacked
me across the cheek with a back hander.
"Possibly, but not as silly as your lisp, didn't they
have speech therapists at your school?"
His mouth fell in shock as if he could not believe I would
talk to him like that, then he smiled.
Not a nice smile.
Seen better grins on a pumpkin.
So I cleared my throat and spat full throttle into his
face.
The smile slipped for a moment.
Then he grabbed me by the hair and used me too mop
up my mess.
The smile stuck in place like a trophy from hell.
"No matter." He said and began to yank my knickers
down.
"You can't have me you know, I love Alan and only
Alan (maybe Ruth a little) so you can fuck me, but
you will only be getting part of me." I said quickly.
Skinner looked thoughtful.
"That's ok too, It's your body I want most of all, the
rest, well Becka I never dated you for your brain did
I? Alan can have that, Daddy's coming home!"
He turned me over and brought the belt sharply across
my buttocks, it really hurt! Not a gentle to firm spankie,
this was the real McCoy!
The skin on my bum retracted quickly and the heat
pummelled me.
I moaned.
"Nice huh?" He said approvingly:"Or not? Mmm, let's
try harder shall we?"
Harder.
GGGhhhhhrgh!
I felt like my body wanted to evacuate from every orifice.
The body was under attack-the mind, well as he said,
didn't have much of one did I? In my head I knew what
would stop all suffering and pain.
One word.
One little word.
Master.
Would I call Skinner that?
Would I fuck!
Not yet-let him do his worst.
And worst came.
Skinner produced a rope and still smiling his eerie smile
began to bind my torso, everytime I fought him he gave
me a dead arm.
The rope held me constrained like a straight jacket and
my small breasts looked over inflated and shiny. My nipples
looked like they belonged on a porn star.
He sucked one, horribly too, dribbling and slobbering
like a sicko.
"This little piggie came to market." He said and bit my
nipple hard. So hard it bled.
"This little piggie stayed at home." He flicked that poor
gal with the buckle end of his belt, he'd skinned it for
sure.
"And this little piggie." He licked my cheek like it was
a toffee apple. I felt his hands squirm between my thighs
and something metal and cold enter me.
I screamed like a maiden aunt in a full time bath.
I HAD TO GET AWAY FROM THIS PAIN!
In a corner of my mind I hid and almost watched myself
being brutalized.
I was dead in the head.
I could not connect with what was happening to my
body. My straining sore breasts, my vagina pulling away
from the metal invader.
"Call me Master." Said the voice of GOD.
"Call me Master and this will STOP." Echoed his holiness.
"Master." I said in the smallest voice.
"Say my name." He said.

Becka M

2005-07-29T14:18:00.000-07:00

SKINNER'S MUSE

"I don't think so." Said Grady:"This woman with
you. End of story." God I hated it when he talked
black.
I began to sweat (well it was hot) and I hoped my
deodorant would hold out. Bad enough dying but I
did not want my epitaph to read:Brave little bugger-
but she stinks.
If I was dead it would be stank I guess.
Shit.
I smiled at Skinner:"I hate you." I said sweetly:"And
you are a lousy shag!"
Neck tittered briefly, Skinner glowered.
"You wait." He said:"Wait and see what I'll do to you,
you will be begging for a shag!"
"I was begging for a shag when I was with you! That
will tell you how little I was getting!"
"You bitch!" He fumed.
I looked at Angela.
"What are we going to do?" She said.
"I don't know yet, but don't worry, something always
turns up, it always bloody does!"
"Maybe your luck has run out." Said Grady.
Maybe it it had........
They walked us through the crowd, people dancing,
kissing, getting drunk and pulling nipple rings. A
happy lot.
We must have made a grim spectacle, Angela being
restrained by her arms by both Neck and Grady
and me, well Skinner had his arm tightly around
me, we must have looked like and ideal couple.
They pushed us through the bar and behind to the
notorious Club Exit where all your fantasies can
come Pru.
Shit.
I could hear Angela praying, not I hasten to
add to any Christian God, no she was mumbling
something Jewish sounding, so I guessed she
was into Kabbalah now. Then so was Aleister
Crowley. Pray faster, I urged in my head.
Skinner suddenly shut the door to the hidden
club and dragged me off down the hall into a storage
cupboard.
"This is where you will learn to be my woman."
He said in his lispy, affected voice.
"Shove it up your arse!" I said.
He punched me very hard in the stomach doubling
me over.
"Why fight destiny? You are my Muse, my queen,
but you act like a gutter-mouthed slut! I love
you more then any woman, more then Jeff and he
was sublime, but you throw it in my face! You
must learn humility and I will be your Master."
He began to roughly pull my clothes off, I still
could not fight, my arms felt like lead.
I was soon naked and sticking to the filthy floor,
I could feel little sharp bits scratching my soft skin
and I could swear that Angela was screaming in
the background.
Something about figures.
Didn't make sense.
Skinner flexed his belt and thrashed my legs
twice before I could yelp, then brutally across
my face. Yep, my fucking nose again!
I curled into a ball of pain, was this it then?
This stupidness brought about because of my
big mouth?
"Turn over, this is going to be nice." Cooed Skinner.
Mutely I obeyed, inside my head over and again
think think think!
But nothing, no epithany, no bolt of lightening,
I couldn't rely on lateral thinking.
No this had to be freestyle.
I smiled at Skinner:"Come and have a go if you
think your hard enough dickweed!"

Becka M

2005-07-27T12:55:00.000-07:00

RUN BECKA RUN!

While everyone stared at me posing like a prat,
Angela was getting the upper hand of Neck-indeed
she was straddling him!
Could not help notice Neck had a big ole grin on his
face and an even bigger erection.
"Get you!" I said and kicked Skinner in his tight trousers!
No reaction.
No change there then.
"You are going to learn discipline if I have to pull your
pants down and fingerfuck you here in front of
everyone." He hissed like a viper.
Put like that......
"Run!" I said and grabbed my lovely Angela and we
flew in the way only a tall gangly girl and a tall
over-weight girl can fly.
Slowly.
Even Grady caught up with us.
"You foolish bitch." He admonished.
"You fat bastard." I said.
"I am an important woman! I can sue!" Warned
Angela.
"Angie." I whispered:"They don't care hon, really
they don't."
"Oh dear." She said.
Skinner lashed out with his belt, in another life when
I was queen pervy of the perveramas this would have
excited me no end.
But I was not in the mood to be made into a display
piece.
"Hey guys." I looked at Angela, she was trembling and her
soft flesh made delicate little rippling motions."Let the
big girl go ok? I'm the one you are pissed with......"
So noble and so young!

Becka M

2005-07-24T12:39:00.000-07:00

KUNG FU FIGHTING

'Those guys were fast as lightning and it was a little
bit frightening.' (Which was understatement of the
year!)
Right, Angela looks a bit shaken up, I guess her imagination
was working overtime. Us dainty ladies and those big
bruisers.
I grinned at Grady again and like my mouth was on a
compulsion to get me killed I said:"What you going to do
about it?"
Grady's eyes looked like they were going to implode
or something.
"You are a crazy bitch!" He yelps in an amazingly squeaky
voice.
"Tell me about it bebe!" I said like Austin Powers.
"Becka please!" Said Angela and gripped my wrist tightly.
I took the small plastic penis from her and threw it in
Skinner's face.
"That's a spare for you love!" I quipped, his eyes behind
their contact shields were hidden. But a bead of sweat
dripped onto his lip. If you forget the dick part he was
one sexy motherfucker for a baldie.
But I couldn't.
Forget the dick part that is.
Neck laughed, Grady and Skinner both eyeballed him.
"Sorry." He said quietly, I winked at him.
"For a criminal Neck you are a pretty cool guy, why
do you hang with such dead beats?"
Neck made a movement towards me and Angela
took this to be an attack, next minute she is wrestling
him down to the floor.
Oh dear.
This was signal for me to go beserk.
I lifted the small table and tipped it over,
covering Skinner and Grady in cream and
strawberries (nows there's a thought!)
"You fucking bitch!" Shouted Grady and threw
a punch, but being that his arms were on
the short side, he missed me.
"Oh I'm so scared!" I said in a sarky voice, I
really was though!
"You are going to die!" Bellowed Grady:"Yow!"
He shouted, Angela was biting his ankle.
Shit!
Skinner looks at me and takes off his belt
slowly.
"I'm going to give you the beating of your
life Becka." He said quietly.
This was not going good.
Where was Jackie Chan when you needed
him?
I slowly raised a foot, everyone looked at
me, it was like time stood still.
My arms raised into the warrior pose
stolen from Sister-thing's Yoga book.
I made a deep low sound in my chest which rose
like a bird into a fearsome: "Aaaaaaaahhhhhh!"
Everyone looked at eachother.
"She nuts." Said Neck.
Not wrong there eh?

Becka M

2005-07-20T12:29:00.000-07:00

PIGZ OR ALL THINGS BACON

"Yea'aah!" Says Missy Elliott in my head:"This is a
one time Missy Elliott exclusive!"
But it wasn't, it was just Angela tapping me lightly with
a plastic penis to get my attention.
"I think that champagne challenge might have been ill
advised, look the pigs are coming over."
I looked and like a scene from Dawn of the Dead, Skinner,
Grady and Neck ambled towards me.
"Brains!" I shouted loudly.
"What are you like?" Said Angela but she laughed.
"What's so funny ladies?" Said Grady, he made ladies
sound like bum fluff or maybe used toilet tissues.
"Funny?" Says Angela: "Maybe the prices of these
cocktails, they are extortionate!"
Grady smiled charmingly at her:"I did not mean you
Miss, you I meant". He nudged me with his foot.
"Cat got your tongue?" Lisped Skinner, his eyes glittering
manically.
"Maybe it has, Grady's got yours, it's up his arse you
fuckwit!" I turned away and saw Neck restrain
Skinner.
"I asked you a question, what were you laughing at?"
Grady had that false Jamaican accent that he used to
intimidate lesser mortals.
Like me.
I grinned (the one he hated) and winked ruefully.
"I was just thinking what a fool Alex was to let
you go, I mean a man like you!
What was she thinking to throw it all away for a
super sexy actor rising up on the fast elevator of
success. When she could be hanging here with the
homies watching people who really shouldn't squeeze
into man-made fabrics. Strange huh?"
Angela bit a small paper parasol in half in a desperate
attempt to stop herself laughing.
I looked at Grady.
And froze.
The man was red and sweaty like a rack of bacon,
something was cooking.
Pressure cooking.
Gonna blow.

Becka M

2005-07-14T12:49:00.000-07:00

SHEEP

What would Alan think about me sitting in the Ex Thrumz
having a drink with my old boss-old lover, Angela?
Well probably not a lot being that I practically blew his
brains out with the kind of blow job the wank mags describe
as deep throat. Please! He is propped up by the telly like
an old chap watching an episode of Sorry! That is sad,
so was Sorry, very clever, very cringeworthy. You did not
know whether to laugh or cry. Poor little Timothy, but after
awhile you wanted to slap him. Dated now though, but so am I!
Angela has lost some weight, still a big lady but I can clearly
see cheek bones and the barest hint of a jaw. Hell
fat, whatever, she always looked the business. A super-size
Madonna. A real stunner.
She was very unhappy I must say, with her blonde hair
hanging down like tired curtains and her eyes welling up.
Always a sign that-tears.
I looked around, still the same sadsacks dressed in
fetish, with the few sexy people thrown in, (that
would be me) and no sign of Skinner as yet.
Thrumz had changed it's name to Passage, as in back-
passage, rite of passage. Cool huh? Still painted
black and purple and red. I remembered the nasty
Club Exit and shuddered.
Try saying purple in a scouse accent, it's dead
easy. So is saying dead easy.
I could see Grady fuming away in the corner
like a ginger potato. I gave him my best wink
and leer. He actually twitched.
"I want to know how Ruth and Justine got
together in the first place!" I sipped a strawberry
daquiri, very cold and delicious (all the more so
because I wasn't paying).
"I think they met here, Justine always comes back
you know, I think it affected her deeply, the sex
and role plays, nearly dying." Angela sipped a
White Russian and thoughtfully fingered the small
plastic dick that decorated her drink.
Mine had tits on a string hanging out the side, nice touch,
I would stick them up Al's bum later or die trying!
"We all come back here, like sheep really, stupid, they
don't play good music, everyone's been double dipped
in Lake Ugly-Mere and the drinks are pricey!"
"I forgot that about you." Said Angela and smiled
wistfully.
"That being?"
"You can nag for England but you are funny!" She
stroked my face. Little alarm bells activated.
"No lezzie stuff, I'm a straight one-man girl now,
so no touching!"
Angela looked bemused and turned away.
"I only found out by chance that they are together,
it's an affair you see, Justine is too used to the good
life to run away with Ruth."
"That's Justine all over, eating pussy and cake too!"
I looked across the room, Grady was seething and
Neck stood next to him like an impenetrable wall,
his arms were crossed on his chest. Master Skinner
stood next to them, looking equally pissed. I
hadn't seen him slink in.
"Is that your fan club?" Said Angela and turned to
face them.
"More like a lynch mob! If Skinner comes over I'm
going to scream." I warned.
"Justine can be sweet you know." Said Angela and her
eyes looked all silly and bashful.
I made a scoffing noise:"You think? That's actually
making me feel quite queasy." I pulled out my
tongue at Grady (it's what I eat and what I do)
who seethed some more.
"She can! She's very soft and loving and always
smells good too."
"That would be the fetid decay." I sipped my
drink and wished Skinner would fall flat on his
leathered arse.
"You are a meanie! Look all I want you to do
is see if you can find out how serious this all is.
I want Justine back but I won't be played for
a fool. She has to choose."
"One small part you seem to have overlooked is that
Ruthie is a crazy cow and she's not going to speak
to me is she?" I thought bitterly about my wasted
Vespa. Damn that was a good bike.
"I don't know, you have a way of twisting us all
around your little finger."
"Like finger puppets?" I imagined a small bald
leather clad puppet, I smirked.
"Yes with your fingers up our arses! You will
at least try?"
"Hell yes, if you by me another drink and send
a bottle of bubbles to the 'Becka Appreciation
Society' over there.
"They won't thank you for it." Warned Angela.
"Oh I know that." I lit a menthol and let the good
times roll.

Becka M

2005-07-09T12:53:00.000-07:00

COWS

Inspite of the bombing, the worry and panic
that ensued, I found it hard it hard to believe it
had really happened. It had a strange, dream-like
quality, a waking dream. We were lucky, nobody
we know died or were injured. There were
lots of might have beens as so many people could
have traveled that day, or would have been there
if they had not had a sickie etc. Close, very close.
Not to mention all the sex me and Alan had had
on public transport lately. He's now making me
do it in parks, Mal's right I have ruined him. From
sweet guy to pervert what have I done?
I feel quite worried about what I'm going to say now,
it's piffy even after all this, but really I must, it's
driving me. I still hate Justine. I really do. Why?
Times like this you stick together, everything else
is inconsequential right? Right in theory, I practice
everyday but I'm still a shallow bitch. So big bad
wrong! Why I'm so very pissed at Justine is she's
been a bad girl.
Very bad indeed.
So bad I could kill her.
Or at least pull her hair.
She's cheating on Angela!
Already.
Dead- Girl has a bit on the side.
But what is eating me is who it is.
Ruth.
Oh yeah Dead-Girl and Luno Uno have
got it together bigtime. Bloody Ruth she just
doesn't care does she?
Angela phoned me in tears.
"Not my Ruthie!" I said in astonishment, the two
of them had barely made eye contact.
"Yes your Ruthie! Really Becka, I feel so betrayed!
I thought she loved me, I thought she cared! I feel
so old and useless, it's degrading, no offence but
your friend is a nasty little skank. What could Justine
possibly see in her?"
A tongue like silk and magic fingers?
"I agree, she has nothing on you Angie, you were a
real Power Lesbian couple. I'm sorry really." But I
felt like saying I told you so!
"What I want to know is what you are going to do
about it?" Angela's tone was harsh.
"Me? Well I'm sorry girl, I might have been crap at
my job, I might have slept with your son and ruined
your wedding , but I am in no way to blame for
this pile of shit!"
"Would money change anything?"
Aaah my favourite word.
"Of course! Why didn't you say! What do you want me
to do?" I grinned like a virgin in Ann Summers.
"Get Ruthie off my Pookie!" She snapped:"Get her away
from Justine and I swear you can have your job back,
hell have Justine's job! Just help me please."
How could I refuse? I would meet Angela for drinks
and we would see what happens.
But I felt hurt, how could Ruthie have found someone
to replace me already and especially someone I
despised so.
That was it-she was doing it out of spite.
The cows!

Becka M

2005-07-07T13:20:00.000-07:00

LONDON EVER MORE

To all in London-my heart and love
goes out to you . Spent most of the morning
frantically phoning folk, all ok but it had been
very close for some of them. I feel sick with anger.
I don't like hating-I'm a lover not a hater!
Can't people just live their lives and get on with
it? Apparently not.

2005-07-03T08:46:00.000-07:00

LAZYGIT

Hi guys, just going to have a little time away
from blogging. Will be back soon with fresh
and skanky Mad Becka adventures! Everything
is cool, everything is fine, no worries! See you all
soon and behave!

Rainex & Becka M

2005-06-28T11:38:00.000-07:00

SHAG MONSTER

"People, people who need people!" Sang Mal in a
gruff Streisand drawl.
"Shut up Mal!" I kicked him softly in the groin (not
the first time) and no he's never got an erection (with
me anyway).
"I think it's precious! You've turned your beautiful
man into a bigtime pervert!" He clapped his hands
together in joy.
"I haven't have I?" I winced, I'd really enjoyed our
time in public but really it was not everything. To me
anyway.
Alan had a different take on it.
Since that day , we had shagged in a bus shelter, a car,
a park, the garden. Almost anywhere that we might get
caught. I had created a monster!
"You wanted him more adventurous and by hell he is!
He's sexier now too, even I've noticed and skinny tall
mopey men have never been my type!"
"Thanks I'll pass that on to Al, in his present state of
mind I'm sure he'll be delighted."
"Y'think? I think you should be too! But Mickey Straw!
What a man to let go! Oh I'd love to unwrap his piece!"
Mal rolled his eyes.
"Don't be crude! Mickey wasn't mine to let go, I'm glad
it's over, sod him I say!" Did I mean it? Yes I did. Ish.
Sister-thing Raine was different.
Shocked horrified and disgusted were words that sprang
to mind.
"In front of those men?" Her eyes were wide and her
mouth had that kind of chucking up edge to it.
"Yeah, but I would have done it in front of girls, I'm not
sexist." I smirked, bad move, Raine glared at me.
"It's not funny! It's sick, sure we've all had it outside
at some point." She reasoned.
"You? You've had sex? Never!" I feigned astonishment.
"Fuck off! Nobody else grandstands it the way you
do! What were you thinking? Were you thinking? In
the old days you would have been tied to a horse's
tail and dragged through the streets!"
"That would have been cool! What was it like back
then?" I teased, she was only a couple years older, but
I could really make those years count!
"It just makes me uncomfortable, I'm used to Ma and her
men, you and yours, but this is a different level, no good
can come of this. It is bad."
"Don't be that way!" I fluffed her fluffy hair, I hated it
when we fell out.
"I'm not judging you." She said.
"You so are!" I laughed.
"Well maybe a little bit, but it's only because I'm worried
for you. I'd hoped Alan would be a stabilizing influence."
She frowned, I rubbed the crease on her forehead.
"You need botox, look Alan is good really, it's just a faze,
really innocent and silly. Like being kids."
"But you are not kids." Raine said firmly.
It was just fun wasn't it?
Alan was waiting for me when I got back home.
He passed me an envelope. I smiled and opened it.
Inside was two tickets for the Tube.
I looked at him.
He grinned boyishly.
"I thought we might check out the Central Line."
Oh dear.

Becka M
p.s do not say I'm a prude-Rainex

2005-06-23T04:55:00.000-07:00

YOU ME AND THEM

"Go down on me, give them a heart attack!" I was
really getting into this.
Alan frowned looked at the heckling, but encouraging
fools in the window and gave them a deep bow. He
stayed down.
Deep down.
It was magic.
"Go for it!" Shouted a muffled voice.
So he did.
With precision licks and nibbles, Al made a weak
woman of me, I was howling and yanking great clumps
of his hair. I was having sex naked in front of strangers!
What the fuck?
But it was good, in a goofy, nutty, crazy 'ho kind of way.
I massaged my own titties to tease my audience, one of
them saluted with his glass and another unzipped his
dick and shook it at me. I winced, not a pretty todger.
Alan abruptly stood up bent me over and rammed me
hard, brutally, deliciously against the window.
The glass was between us but a man still tried to mouth
my nipples. They were baying like dogs. Brutal, male,
sexy, dangerous.
What a racket they were making.
"Stick it to the bitch!" Shouted one.
"Crank it up man!" Said another.
Mmm, not sex talk, this was war.
War against my cunt.
Whose side was Alan on anyway?
He was grinning. I turned around and bit his cheek.
"They are starting to turn me off." I whispered.
"Not yet! This is too good!" Alan relished every thrust.
"What a slapper! Give her some more! Twist those
tits!"
Twist those tits? Aw fuck off! I stuck out my tongue
and being deft of hip swivelled so rapidly and
abruptly Alan roared as he came. I can get a guy up
but I'm also good at getting them down when I want.
And I did.
"Shows over guys!" I said.
"Doesn't have to be!" Said one of the men: "Let's bring
in the troops!"
Alan and I looked at eachother-shit they were leaving
the window, they were moving out. We could hear them
plundering through the house. They were coming.
For me.
Maybe even for Alan.
Like scared but naughty kids we legged it as we
were, Alan trousers undone, me naked in high heels.
I scooped my dress up on the way out.
I didn't stop running inspite of a few stares from people
and someone taking my photo saying:"I love London!"
In a Polish accent. At last I could slip my dress over my
sweaty skin. Home and dry.
Well maybe not dry.
Or home.
But safe. I kissed Alan.
"You really liked that didn't you?" I said.
He pulled a face :"I did. I'm as fucked as you now."
"Never." I said and hailed a black cab.

Becka M

2005-06-19T12:28:00.000-07:00

LICKINGWINDOWS

"Marry me straight away if you like!" I said and
bodily pushed and shoved Alan into a convenient
back garden. Very Quadraphenia, very daring!
Though this was no back alley! This was Wimpole
street! Wimp-Hole, mmm, couldn't I just?
"What are you doing?" He said in a theatrical whisper:
"We will get arrested for breaking and entry!"
"Nothing is broken, I'll focus on the entry though!"
I pulled up my skirt and lowered my peach coloured
frenchies. Alan looked defeated.
"We can't, look lets get back, we can talk, we can fuck,
not here, it's so crude, so very......." His voice trailed
off as I opened my pussy with my fingers.
"Come to Momma!" I said and my inner lips mimed the
words.
Alan looked around, the garden was very pretty, Alan
Titchmarsh and Monty Don we salute you as someone
had obviously taken your words to heart. Flowers,
water features, decking (though that is passe now)
and a beautiful willow tree.
"No, my flesh is weak:" (Not from where I was standing
it wasn't!) "I simply can't do this in a back garden! It's
seedy, it's so nasty!" He winced but his bulge was showing
bigtime! Where there is a willy there is a way. The Becka
way. Come As You Are the Nirvana song could have been
written about me, if Curt had known me he would still be
here today, still be fucked up though. I would have seen to
that!
I stood with my back against the big tree, I undid my dress
and let it fall to the ground. It was humid but my nipples
stood to attention. I tweaked them.
"Becka it's not even 4 'o'clock!" Alan wailed:" We could
get seen!" But he gravitated towards me, linked and beloved,
magnetic energy between dick and hoo-ha.
"Well you had better be quick then!" I nagged.
He groaned:"You guttersnipe! Love it rough don't you?"
He entered me smoothly.
"Hey less of the guttersnipe! I'll have you know my father
is titled!" I bit his cheek and felt the bark of the tree warm
and ticklish against my bottom. I wrapped my legs around
his back and felt him lift me practically by his dick alone,
so hard was it.
Then we heard cheering-turning we saw at least six men
laughing and encouraging us from the one of the windows!
"Shit!" Said Alan, I must admit it turned me on bigtime.
"Let's really give them something to look at." I purred
into his ear.
"My god madam, what do you have in mind?"
At last he was getting it and so was I!

Becka M

2005-06-15T03:53:00.000-07:00

READ MY LIPS

Patrick and I made it out of the club (being briefly
stopped by Ironknickers to pay the wine bill and a
fine for smoking). Next second Mickey came running
out and grabbed me tightly.
"I'll not let you fuck up our lives girl! This is our
time now!" His eyes were flashing like fireworks
and he seemed genuine. I bit my lip and thought
of Ruthie, Alan, everything. Mickey began to try
to erase everything with passion. He kissed my face,
hair and neck frantically, for a millisecond I responded.
"Quite demonstrative isn't he?" Said Patrick
sanguinely, I rolled my eyes and snapped out of it.
"No Mick, it's over, gone, finshed!" I tried to wriggle
free but his arms were now clamped around my waist
holding me captive.
"I love you I love you I love you." He said over and
over, making me feel terrible, but what could I do?
Alan was right, Mick had had many chances with
me and he chose Sharon.
Next Alan came out, his long coat flapped like
feathers of a sad bird, he caught sight of me
being tightly held by Mickey boy and flinched.
"Wait!" I said and tore myself free from the
past. But Alan didn't wait, he kept on moving,
head down, hair hanging, if he'd been 25yrs
years younger he'd have been a Goth.
"Becka!" Shouted Mickey, I ignored him and
he didn't pursue me. Patrick waved and grinned
like a fox. The old git! Mickey shook his head
and I swear I saw tears, but it might have been
a reflection or something. Tough guys don't cry-
especially hardnosed (and arsed) cops. Not my
problem, he was over and out, but my future
was running away from me.
"Will you just wait!" I panted, Alan had even longer
legs then me, he could cover some ground! I could
hardly keep up. This went on for about 10 minutes-
at one point some Japanese tourists started to follow
us as they thought we were actually going somewhere!
They took a picture of Al though, worryingly they
ignored me. Maybe they really did think he was
Professor Snape. Or Alan Rickman, that was worrying
too as Al was more then 10 years younger.
Alan began to mutter something I could not quite catch.
"Sorry?" I said.
"No point." He said tightly:"This is going to go on and
on, this mess, all of it! Had enough Becka, can't
share you anymore, let's just finish it eh? Cleanly,
lovingly." Abruptly he stopped walking and looked into
my sweaty and red face. I was not prepare and did
not look the part for grand romantic gestures. So I
did my best. Mal would have been proud of me and
Ruthie would have chucked up.
My turn. I grabbed his ratty old coat and pulled
him to me. I could make this work, it was what I wanted.
"Read my lips, I LOVE YOU, YOU BASTARD." And
kissed him soundly. His eyebrows shot up about a
foot and I felt his mouth trying to smile under mine.
A lovely thing. But I still had work to do.

To be continued................

Becka M

2005-06-12T12:17:00.000-07:00

TIME AND SPACE (Part Twat)

I gulped and looked at Patrick for help, he shrugged,
oh great another shrugger!
I looked at Mickey Straw so damned sure he had me
by the short and curlies the cockney bastard!
I looked at Alan, his white face set and brooding.
"It is true Mickey wants me back." I said slowly.
Alan shut his eyes like he couldn't stand the pain.
"I see." He said.
"No you don't."I reached across and stroked his face,
so thin and tight like stretched leather.
"You are the one that I want." I said then realized
what I'd said! Oh shit! In my head Travolta and Newton-
John sang away, oooh oooh oooh. I blushed. Could I fuck
it up further? What cheese could I add to this spread?
Anyone for Edam?
"Sod off!" This was Mick:"He's cheated on you with
your best friend, I would never do that!"
It was true, Alan had in a moment of complete insanity
and because she was blackmailing him, shagged Ruth.
"You have cheated with me, what about your wife!
So shut up!" I snapped. Patrick lit his cigar at the table
and grinned wolfishly:"Your turn." He said to Alan.
"My turn? Oh thank you." He said his voice dripping
with sarcasm. Patrick actually laughed. "Becka this
crazy life of yours is sending me mad! Marry me or
leave me, no more in between, I've had enough of it!
You should be ashamed!" (This was to Mickey)"Call
yourself a Copper! Hardly a pillar of the community,
more like a pimp!"
Mickey's face darkened and his eyes bulged:"You have
called me Copper one too many times son!" Next minute
his fist flew across the table and connected with Alan's
jaw with a snap!"
I shrieked and grabbed Alan to stop him from falling to
the floor. Patrick was on his feet and barred the way
so that Mickey could not get near us.
"Alan!" I cried and held his head in my hands.
"Wow that hurt!" He muttered.
A woman screamed:"Call the police!"
Mickey smiled:"I am the police ma'am, nothing to see
here."
But there was, Alan started laughing as he always does
when he gets stressed.
"Detective Straw this is quite unseemly can you desist?"
Said Patrick calmly in his politician's voice.
"Let's take it outside shall we?" Said Alan and pulled
himself up. "This is what you wanted eh Becks? Two
men fighting over you. Well you got it!"
My turn to get angry.
"You silly twat! I've never wanted that! And don't
flatter me so, I know you are fighting Mick because
you hate him, so just leave me out eh? You two hate
eachother so much there must be some sort of
primal attraction!"
"Oh explain?" Said Mickey.
"Maybe you should date eachother instead! Bum
eachother and stop fucking with my head!" I stood
up and took Patrick's arm.
"I love you Alan and I will marry you, but if you think
I'm going to watch two great oafs hit eachother then you
have another thing coming! Patrick lets leave."
"Oh!" Said Patrick:"Don't spoil my fun!"
"You sound like a vampire, leave it!" I scolded.
"I don't fancy Straw, he's bloody simian!" Muttered
Alan. Mickey kissed his teeth like a Jamaican.
"You stupid cunt! Think you are so superior." His
eyes looked like fireworks reflected in a meth's
bottle. I exhaled and started to leave.
"You walk away from me girl and that's it!" Warned
Mickey, he leaned forward:"Are you forgetting your
dear darling dada? I still haven't told you everything."
"Or anything!" I whispered back.
"What are they saying?" Demanded Alan to Patrick.
"Sex stuff I should think." Said Patrick with a nod
and tapped the side of his nose.
"Mickey, screw you. Alan when you've finished acting
like an arse I'll be at your house."
We walked through the tables like people on a red
carpet, namely everyone was staring at us.
"Don't look back." Said Patrick.
"Oh god are they still fighting?" I said and winced.
"No, they are kissing." Said Patrick, I looked at him
and we both cracked up laughing. What a life!

Becka M

2005-06-09T03:58:00.000-07:00

TIME AND SPACE (Part Duh!)

"I see." Said Patrick and shot me a look:"So you
don't want to me to ask him to join us?"
Patrick had a mischievous sparkle in his eye, I
glared at him.
Alan jolted like he'd had an electric shot:"Go on then!
Ask the big Copper over, I'm sure Becka will be really
pleased!" The napkin was getting it now, twisted into
what looked like a noose-oh dear!
"Please don't!" I said and took a huge gulp of red wine.
But Mickey had been watching us, he swaggered
over like a wide-boy on a saturday night. He smiled at
Patrick, smirked at Alan and leered at me!
"Join us Michael." Said Patrick, this was the first time
since meeting my father that I was less then delighted,
he was acting like an arse!
"Don't mind if I do!" Mickey sat legs open wide,
absolutely the most alive and vigorous person in
the room. I felt Alan tense like a spring next to me, I
touched his hand, he was so into eyeballing Mickey
my touch made his hand jump and knock the
carafe of red wine everywhere! We looked as the red
seeped across the pristine linen, Patrick and Mickey
laughed, Alan was mortified, I was pissed off.
"Calm down!" I whispered into Alan's ear.
"Yeah! Hey presto I'm calm, look I'm sitting with
your Truncheon buddy and everything is cool!"
Alan hissed back.
A waiter quickly changed the cloth, Patrick scanned
the menu and Mickey was still giggling into his
sleeve. He pretended to cough: "Nnnnerrrd!"
It sounded like! Alan did not miss it though.
"Becka I'm sorry but really-how could you sleep
with this big ape?"
"Oh!" I said, why did I have to be dragged into this
shit? Ok ok it's all my fault-but even so!
"She said that often!" Said Mickey.
"Mick!" I said aghast.
"Too much information." Said Patrick:"I'm going
for a smoke, Rebecca if they start to fight, call
for me, I'd hate to miss anything interesting!"
"Oh like I'd fight Professor Snape here!" Laughed
Mickey cruelly and it was wrong, Alan deserved
better then that.
"You are acting like a wanker Mick! Alan go with
Patrick and have a cigarette."
"So you want to be alone with Bodie, now I
understand!"
"I just want you to calm down that's all!" I pleaded.
Patrick still hovered, really he was acting up!
"Just answer me this Detective Straw, if you care
so bloody much for Becka why did you marry
Sharon? You could have been with Becka from
school, but she's never been quite good enough
for you has she?" Alan was shaking.
Mickey stood and for once his grin was gone, his
eyes like ice.
"I'm not perfect, mistakes were made. But I
want Becka back properly, marriage even! Oh she
didn't tell you?" The grin rose triumphantly.
Alan turned to look at me.
"Say it isn't so!"
Patrick rubbed his hands together with glee.
"It's true, he does want me back." I said tightly.
"That's my girl!" Said Mickey.
Alan's mouth fell open-what happened next
oooh soon!

Becka M